From: Aengus Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: Tue, 16 Dec 1997 21:34:42 -0800 Organization: Not Very Lines: 10 Message-ID: <34976471.9EEA47E0@teleport.com> References: <6777lc$19a$1@agate.berkeley.edu> Reply-To: aengus@teleport.com NNTP-Posting-Host: ip-pdx06-21.teleport.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (Win95; I) Path: ccw.ch!aetna.dolphins.ch!news.planetc.com!leto.ou.edu!hammer.uoregon.edu!newsxfer3.itd.umich.edu!news-peer.sprintlink.net!news-pull.sprintlink.net!news-in-east.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!Sprint!199.2.96.62!news.rain.net!news.teleport.com!not-for-mail I thought it was "How many pells does it take to light a candle?" "Already done, got the Protoge' to do it. Why, you got another? Aengus (grin) ###### From: djheydt@uclink.berkeley.edu (Dorothy J Heydt) Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: 17 Dec 1997 00:50:52 GMT Organization: University of California at Berkeley Lines: 32 Message-ID: <6777lc$19a$1@agate.berkeley.edu> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: uclink.berkeley.edu Path: ccw.ch!aetna.dolphins.ch!news.planetc.com!leto.ou.edu!hammer.uoregon.edu!newsxfer3.itd.umich.edu!agate!uclink.berkeley.edu!djheydt In article , wrote: >Would the good gentle who posted the lightbulb joke (I think twas in this >newsgroup) please email me at panacea.nospam@teleport.com (without the .nospam) Was it in this group? We've had jokes of that kind from time to time, but usually they involve, not lightbulbs, but candles. "How many Calontiri does it take to light a candle?" "Three hundred and forty-seven, and you should *see* the *ceremony!*" "How many Westerners does it take to light a candle?" "Our candle's been burning perfectly well for thirty-two years; why should we light a new one?" "How many Laurels does it take to light a candle?" "Three. One to research period candle-making, one to research period fire-starting, and one to research whether darkness is period." "How many Pelicans does it take to light a candle?" "I will! Me! Me! I'll do it!" "How many members of the Board of Directors does it take to light a candle?" "Don't be silly. This is the Twentieth Century. We use lightbulbs." Dorothea of Caer-Myrddin Dorothy J. Heydt Mists/Mists/West Albany, California PRO DEO ET REGE djheydt@uclink.berkeley.edu (My account might go away at any moment; if I vanish, I haven't died.) ###### From: ldcharls@swbell.net Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: Wed, 17 Dec 1997 09:24:56 +0000 Organization: Southwestern Bell Internet Services, Richardson, TX Lines: 36 Message-ID: <34979A68.4E02@swbell.net> References: <6777lc$19a$1@agate.berkeley.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: ppp-207-193-26-219.austtx.swbell.net Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: nnrp3.rcsntx.swbell.net 882372063 9333 (None) 207.193.26.219 X-Complaints-To: usenet@nnrp3.rcsntx.swbell.net X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.01-C-SBMH (Macintosh; I; 68K) Path: ccw.ch!aetna.dolphins.ch!news.planetc.com!leto.ou.edu!news.ecn.uoknor.edu!munnari.OZ.AU!news.mel.connect.com.au!news.syd.connect.com.au!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news-peer.sprintlink.net!news-pull.sprintlink.net!news-in-east.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!Sprint!151.164.1.34!swbell!not-for-mail Dorothy J Heydt wrote: > "How many Calontiri does it take to light a candle?" > "Three hundred and forty-seven, and you should *see* the > *ceremony!*" > > "How many Westerners does it take to light a candle?" > "Our candle's been burning perfectly well for thirty-two years; > why should we light a new one?" > > "How many Laurels does it take to light a candle?" > "Three. One to research period candle-making, one to research > period fire-starting, and one to research whether darkness is > period." > > "How many Pelicans does it take to light a candle?" > "I will! Me! Me! I'll do it!" > > "How many members of the Board of Directors does it take to light > a candle?" > "Don't be silly. This is the Twentieth Century. We use > lightbulbs." > Try these for size: "How many knights does it take to light a candle?" "Squire!" "How many Tuchux does it take to light a candle?" "What's a candle?" "How many Ansteorrans does it take to light a candle?" "None, Ansteorrans aren't afraid of the dark!" Lord Charles MacKinnon Barony of Bryn Gwlad Kingdom of Ansteorra ###### From: Zen Bitz Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: Wed, 17 Dec 1997 12:41:37 -0500 Organization: Three True Outcomes, Inc. Lines: 35 Message-ID: <34980ED1.446B@spammerscum.bioc.columbia.edu> References: <6777lc$19a$1@agate.berkeley.edu> <34979A68.4E02@swbell.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: burrito.bioc.columbia.edu Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.04Gold (X11; I; IRIX 5.3 IP22) Path: ccw.ch!aetna.dolphins.ch!news.planetc.com!atl-news-feed1.bbnplanet.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!newsfeed.direct.ca!Supernews60!supernews.com!news.columbia.edu!news-not-for-mail ldcharls@swbell.net wrote: > Try these for size: > > "How many knights does it take to light a candle?" > "Squire!" > > "How many Tuchux does it take to light a candle?" > "What's a candle?" > > "How many Ansteorrans does it take to light a candle?" > "None, Ansteorrans aren't afraid of the dark!" This is too easy: How many stick-jocks does it take to light a candle? Two. One to hit the second one, while the second one calls "LIGHT". How many Kingdom Earl Marshalls does it take to light a candle? Three. One to put a basket hilt on it, one to wrap it in duct tape and a third to put a thrusting tip on it. NOW it's a list- legal candle. (Alternativly: Zero. Flaming Weapons aren't allowed on the battlefield) Mori -- Void Where Prohibited * Laden With Cosmic Significance "Second place? Second place in a gunfight gets you an 80 lb. granite trophy, enscribed with your name and the date." +== To send mail replace die@spammerscum with hitz@burrito===+ Ben Hitz -- Do not reply Directly -- Dept. of Biochemistry *** http://tincan.bioc.columbia.edu/Home/ben.home/ *** ###### Path: ccw.ch!usenet From: Neil Franklin (reply remove nospam.) Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: 18 Dec 1997 03:14:25 +0100 Organization: My own Private Self Lines: 12 Message-ID: References: X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.3/Emacs 19.34 In article , wrote: >Would the good gentle who posted the lightbulb joke (I think twas in this >newsgroup) please email me at panacea.nospam@teleport.com (without the .nospam) For the great Rialto lightbulb/candle joke thread of May 93 see: http://www.pbm.com/~lindahl/rialto/humor-msg.html -- Neil.Franklin@ccw.ch, http://www.ccw.ch/Neil.Franklin/ for Geek Code, Papernet, Voicenet, PGP public key see http: Any computer, that is running optimally, is outdated; including my Cx486 ###### From: nerak@aol.com (Nerak) Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: 19 Dec 1997 05:08:27 GMT Lines: 10 Message-ID: <19971219050800.AAA08458@ladder02.news.aol.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: ladder02.news.aol.com X-Admin: news@aol.com Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com References: Path: ccw.ch!aetna.dolphins.ch!news.planetc.com!leto.ou.edu!hammer.uoregon.edu!newsxfer3.itd.umich.edu!news-peer.gip.net!news.gsl.net!gip.net!portc01.blue.aol.com!audrey02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail Variations: They don't have ice cubes in Meridies. Duke John lost the recipe. Master Cathal re-created it, but they wouldn't accept his documentation. Nerak la Tisserande, CL Nerak@aol.com ###### From: Brenden Towey Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: Fri, 19 Dec 1997 15:24:44 -0800 Organization: Netcom Lines: 10 Message-ID: <349B023C.D5E@ix.netcom.com> References: <6777lc$19a$1@agate.berkeley.edu> <34979A68.4E02@swbell.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: sac-ca13-11.ix.netcom.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-NETCOM-Date: Fri Dec 19 2:24:44 PM PST 1997 X-Mailer: Mozilla 2.01 (Win16; U) To: ldcharls@swbell.net Path: ccw.ch!aetna.dolphins.ch!news.planetc.com!wilbur.ohww.norman.ok.us!newsfeed.kornet.nm.kr!howland.erols.net!ix.netcom.com!news ldcharls@swbell.net wrote: > Try these for size: > > "How many knights does it take to light a candle?" > "Squire!" "Get your own damn beer, Alfric!" Brenden of Vinhold ###### From: Don Levey Newsgroups: rec.org.sca Subject: Re: That usenet lightbulb joke... Date: Tue, 23 Dec 1997 12:02:06 -0500 Organization: WorldWide Access - Midwestern Internet Services - www.wwa.com Lines: 22 Message-ID: <349FEE8D.5651AB70@netcom.com> References: <6777lc$19a$1@agate.berkeley.edu> <34979A68.4E02@swbell.net> <349B023C.D5E@ix.netcom.com> Reply-To: removethis_levey@netcom.com NNTP-Posting-Host: 170.118.75.90 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (Win95; I) Path: ccw.ch!aetna.dolphins.ch!news.planetc.com!newsfeed.usit.net!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news-peer.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!Sprint!newsfeed.internetmci.com!207.241.0.194!news.wwa.com!not-for-mail Brenden Towey wrote: > ldcharls@swbell.net wrote: > > > Try these for size: > > > > "How many knights does it take to light a candle?" > > "Squire!" > > "Get your own damn beer, Alfric!" > > Brenden of Vinhold "What kind would you like, sir? I have several different brews on tap at the moment, including that stout that you liked so much the last time." -Donal Artur Happy to be a squire.