From: Michael Cule Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 12:13:28 +0100 Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: room3b.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: room3b.demon.co.uk:158.152.77.67 X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 967033311 nnrp-09:21439 NO-IDENT room3b.demon.co.uk:158.152.77.67 X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Newsreader: Turnpike Integrated Version 4.02 S Lines: 33 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.tesion.net!news.belwue.de!news-stu1.dfn.de!news-mue1.dfn.de!news-nue1.dfn.de!news-lei1.dfn.de!news-fra1.dfn.de!news0.de.colt.net!colt.net!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!news.demon.co.uk!demon!room3b.demon.co.uk!mikec Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15760 In article , Frank J. Perricone writes >> Two important points: >> >> a)The Supreme Court has never upheld 'violence' as a criteria for >> 'harmful to minors'. The legal definition requires sexuality. > >I hope I'm not the only one who finds the above perhaps the single most >absurd and ludicrous fact about our culture, the one I'd be most embarassed >to try to explain to the visiting aliens. Well, yes but there must be others. Neckties for instance. And shoelaces. The Queen Mother. And Princess Di. COUNTDOWN (a British reference: the world's worst TV quiz show). And Jerry Springer. The fact we let Tax Collectors have legal powers we wouldn't trust Jesus Christ with. The War Against Drugs. The fact that we have places called Sex Shops when you can't buy Sex there. What other things do you see yourself having difficulty explaining to the Galactic Federation? -- Michael Cule ###### From: "A. F. Simpson" Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 14:45:49 +0100 Organization: University of Leicester, UK Lines: 15 Message-ID: <39A3D58D.7FF6CBE@le.acluk> References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: pc319.cmht.le.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: rook.le.ac.uk 967038200 45542 143.210.176.119 (23 Aug 2000 13:43:20 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@le.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 23 Aug 2000 13:43:20 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.74 [en] (Win98; U) X-Accept-Language: en Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.icl.net!newsfeed.icl.net!news.vas-net.net!server2.netnews.ja.net!leicester!usenet Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15819 Michael Cule wrote: > COUNTDOWN (a British reference: the world's worst TV quiz show). > What other things do you see yourself having difficulty explaining to > the Galactic Federation? The fact that someone could compare Countdown with a show including a naked Chris Tarrant and decide Countdown is worse would be something I would have trouble expalining to anyone. > Michael Cule love Anna ###### Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!not-for-mail From: Neil Franklin Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: 23 Aug 2000 21:59:21 +0200 Organization: My own Private Self Lines: 41 Message-ID: <6un1i3g352.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch> References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: chonsp.franklin.ch X-Trace: chonsp.franklin.ch 967060761 728 10.0.3.2 (23 Aug 2000 19:59:21 GMT) X-Complaints-To: news@chonsp.franklin.ch NNTP-Posting-Date: 23 Aug 2000 19:59:21 GMT X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.7/Emacs 20.4 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15824 Michael Cule writes: > Perricone writes > >> > >> a)The Supreme Court has never upheld 'violence' as a criteria for > >> 'harmful to minors'. The legal definition requires sexuality. > > > >I hope I'm not the only one who finds the above perhaps the single most > >absurd and ludicrous fact about our culture, I will second that. Fun with reproduction as worse than destruction, I will nevewr understand the value system that results in such a (miss-)judgement. > > the one I'd be most embarassed > >to try to explain to the visiting aliens. Easy explanation: there exist a lot of idiots on this planet. We are after all still in an phase of development, where only a minority has achieved something akin to intelligence. > And shoelaces. Huh? While I agree with all you other political/society criticisms, I don't see this one as problematic. Shoelaces are a simple, easy to discover, cheap to make, low tech solution to the problem of closing a shoe around an foot where the exact size was not known on manufacturing. That it is a bit more difficult to use than something hi tech like velcro (ever tried to make some yourself?) doesn't make it an embarassing technology to have in use. -- Neil Franklin, neil@franklin.ch.remove http://neil.franklin.ch/ Nerd, Geek, Hacker, Unix Guru, Sysadmin, Roleplayer, LARPer, Mystic ###### User-Agent: Microsoft-Outlook-Express-Macintosh-Edition/5.02.2022 Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con From: David Fair Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> Mime-version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Lines: 19 Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 03:22:18 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 141.156.48.180 X-Complaints-To: newsadmin@bellatlantic.net X-Trace: typhoon1.ba-dsg.net 967087338 141.156.48.180 (Wed, 23 Aug 2000 23:22:18 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 23:22:18 EDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!europa.netcrusader.net!199.45.45.8!cyclone1.ba-dsg.net!typhoon1.ba-dsg.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15922 On 8/23/00 7:13 AM whilst I sat in a shadowy corner of the inn, Michael Cule from mikec@room3b.demon.co.uk sidled up to my table and whispered: > What other things do you see yourself having difficulty explaining to > the Galactic Federation? Chewing Gum (Chew this, but don't swallow it) Cigarettes (Light this on fire and breathe the smoke) Socks (They protect your feet from the shoe. What is the shoe for? It protects your foot from the ground. Ooookaaaaaayyyy... Thanks, Dave -- David Fair dafair@bellatlantic.net "Time flows at a rate of one second per second." -- Dr. Dimension ###### From: Lizard Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 23:30:02 -0700 Organization: Ferengi School Of Business Ethics Lines: 20 Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: p-612.newsdawg.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.7/32.534 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!nmaster.kpnqwest.net!npeer.kpnqwest.net!howland.erols.net!newsfeed.lotsanews.com.MISMATCH!pln-e!spln!dex!extra.newsguy.com!newsp.newsguy.com!enews4 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15976 On Thu, 24 Aug 2000 03:22:18 GMT, David Fair wrote: >Socks (They protect your feet from the shoe. What is the shoe for? It >protects your foot from the ground. Ooookaaaaaayyyy... Well, this is easy to explain. We evolved sentience, which caused our bodies to, for all practical purposes, stop evolving. So our females hips are too narrow, our spines aren't really suited for bipedal walking, and we design tools our hands aren't 100% suited for. (Carpal tunnel syndrome) Call it a transitory step until we can upload our minds and say goodbye to the meat forever. Any alien race we are likely to contact has probably already done so. *----------------------------------------------------* Evolution doesn't take prisoners:Lizard "I've heard of this thing men call 'empathy', but I've never once been afflicted with it, thanks the Gods." Bruno The Bandit http://www.mrlizard.com ###### Message-ID: <39a551f6@cobweb.scarymonsters.net> From: Ryan Franklin Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-19990517 ("Psychonaut") (UNIX) (Linux/2.2.14 (i586)) X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 63.225.32.161 Lines: 20 Date: 24 Aug 2000 09:48:54 -0700 NNTP-Posting-Host: 63.225.32.161 X-Trace: news.uswest.net 967135736 63.225.32.161 (Thu, 24 Aug 2000 11:48:56 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 11:48:56 CDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!sunqbc.risq.qc.ca!newsfeed.cwix.com!news-out.uswest.net!news.uswest.net.POSTED!cobweb.scarymonsters.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15914 Lizard wrote: > On Thu, 24 Aug 2000 03:22:18 GMT, David Fair > wrote: >>Socks (They protect your feet from the shoe. What is the shoe for? It >>protects your foot from the ground. Ooookaaaaaayyyy... > > Well, this is easy to explain. We evolved sentience, which caused our > bodies to, for all practical purposes, stop evolving. So our females > hips are too narrow, our spines aren't really suited for bipedal > walking, and we design tools our hands aren't 100% suited for. (Carpal > tunnel syndrome) There's another part that would help the aliens understand--once you've explained sweat (and the odors produced by bacteria), one purpose for socks will be clear to them. -- it's also more cost-effective than making all shoes soft on the inside ryan@cobweb.scarymonsters.net ###### From: ed Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Approved: Apparently Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Organization: Team Rodent Reply-To: edhogg@equus.demon.co.uk Message-ID: <67a8qsg28o1uvbb6ku02hj0m4eocfv2fo0@4ax.com> References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 17 Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 21:32:10 +0100 NNTP-Posting-Host: 62.252.136.137 X-Complaints-To: abuse@net.ntl.com X-Trace: news2-win.server.ntlworld.com 967062646 62.252.136.137 (Wed, 23 Aug 2000 21:30:46 BST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 21:30:46 BST Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!psinet-eu-nl!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!colt.net!newspeer.clara.net!news.clara.net!news5-gui.server.ntli.net!ntli.net!news2-win.server.ntlworld.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15957 The noble Michael Cule spake on the day of Wed, 23 Aug 2000 12:13:28 +0100: >COUNTDOWN (a British reference: the world's worst TV quiz show). COUNTDOWN would in fact be the worlds worst quiz show save for two things. 1) it isn't a quiz show, it's a game show of a sort. 2) There's that thing with Anne Robinson pretending to be hard. ed -- edhogg@equus.demon.co.uk | Dragons Rescued | _//// http://www.equus.demon.co.uk/ | Maidens Slain | o_/o /// For devilbunnies, Diplomacy, RPGs, | Quests P.O.A. | __\ ///__ Science-Fiction and other stuff | | <*> ###### From: "Klaus Æ. Mogensen" Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net><220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net><4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Lines: 50 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2919.6600 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2919.6600 Message-ID: Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 23:46:32 +0200 NNTP-Posting-Host: 195.47.134.40 X-Complaints-To: abuse@get2.net X-Trace: news.get2net.dk 967069346 195.47.134.40 (Thu, 24 Aug 2000 00:22:26 MET DST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 00:22:26 MET DST Organization: get2net Internet Kunde Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!uni-erlangen.de!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!news.tele.dk!194.213.69.151!news.algonet.se!algonet!newsfeed1.uni2.dk!news.get2net.dk!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15872 "Michael Cule" wrote: > > > >I hope I'm not the only one who finds the above perhaps the single most > >absurd and ludicrous fact about our culture, the one I'd be most embarassed > >to try to explain to the visiting aliens. > > Well, yes but there must be others. > > Neckties for instance. And shoelaces. Neckties actually have an important, historical significance: Those who wear them emulate riflemen of the 30 Year War. At the time, soldier's uniforms were more fashionable than practical, and included very wide collars. Often, the wind would catch the collars and flip them into the riflemens' faces, spoiling their aim. For this reason, they took to knotting the ends of the collars together in the front. Those in the general public who idolized these riflemen began emulating them, using strips of cloth of they didn't have collars big enough to tie together. I rather doubt that most of those who wear neckties these days know it is a militaristic fashion, however. > The fact we let Tax Collectors have legal powers we > wouldn't trust Jesus Christ with. Personally, I wouldn't trust anybody claiming to be speaking for God with much of anything. Which brings me to the one thing that I probably would have the hardest time explaining to visiting aliens: Religions. Or rather, those who uncritically believe in religions and their spokesmen when there's no real evidence to suggest that any of them are right. Another thing hard to explain is why we revere and pay people more who do nothing more productive than shuffle money around (often ruining hard-working people in the process) than we do those who produce things of real, practical value like food and clothes. -- Klaus Æ. Mogensen http://hjem.get2net.dk/Klaudius Our dried voices, when we whisper together Are quiet and meaningless as wind in dry grass Or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar ###### From: Frank J. Perricone Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Organization: http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn/ Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 25 X-Abuse-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers X-Abuse-Info: Otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly X-Complaints-To: support@usenetserver.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 17:59:47 EDT Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 18:01:34 -0400 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!sunqbc.risq.qc.ca!cyclone2.usenetserver.com!news-out.usenetserver.com!cyclone1.usenetserver.com!news-east.usenetserver.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15960 On Wed, 23 Aug 2000 12:13:28 +0100, Michael Cule wrote: > >> a)The Supreme Court has never upheld 'violence' as a criteria for > >> 'harmful to minors'. The legal definition requires sexuality. > > > >I hope I'm not the only one who finds the above perhaps the single most > >absurd and ludicrous fact about our culture, the one I'd be most embarassed > >to try to explain to the visiting aliens. > > Well, yes but there must be others. Sure, but this seems like the worst. I have this dream that the aliens are asking me to explain some things to evaluate if my nation deserves to be part of the Galactic Civilization, and thanks to great elocution and fast-talk and a few really high rolls, I've managed to explain the Republicans, the Spice Girls, Microsoft Windows, T.G.I.Friday's, "When Animals Attack", rap, and the UCITA, but when they get to this one, after a moment's pause I just give up and say, "Oh, well, nevermind." -- * Frank J. Perricone * hawthorn@sover.net * http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn Prism: http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn/Prism/ Just because we aren't all the same doesn't mean we have nothing in common Just because we have something in common doesn't mean we're all the same ###### From: Alan Kellogg Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 22:06:02 -0700 Organization: CTSnet Internet Services Lines: 26 Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <6un1i3g352.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch> X-Trace: thoth.cts.com 967093677 91232 204.216.154.148 (24 Aug 2000 05:07:57 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@cts.com User-Agent: MT-NewsWatcher/3.0 (PPC) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!nntp.flash.net!mercury.cts.com!thoth.cts.com!mythusmage Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15931 In article <6un1i3g352.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch>, Neil Franklin wrote: > Michael Cule writes: > > > And shoelaces. > > Huh? While I agree with all you other political/society criticisms, I > don't see this one as problematic. > > Shoelaces are a simple, easy to discover, cheap to make, low tech > solution to the problem of closing a shoe around an foot where the > exact size was not known on manufacturing. > > That it is a bit more difficult to use than something hi tech like > velcro (ever tried to make some yourself?) doesn't make it an > embarassing technology to have in use. Besides, you can replace wornout shoelaces easier than you can worn out velcro. Alan -- You can't be a figment of my imagination, I'd've done a better job ###### Sender: clmeier@lili2.lili.uni-bielefeld.de Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> From: Clemens Meier Date: 24 Aug 2000 12:53:30 +0200 Message-ID: Organization: Universitaet Bielefeld, Linguistik und Literaturwissenschaft, Germany Lines: 23 X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.7/Emacs 20.5 NNTP-Posting-Host: lili2.lili.uni-bielefeld.de X-Trace: 24 Aug 2000 12:53:30 +0200, lili2.lili.uni-bielefeld.de Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!uni-erlangen.de!news-nue1.dfn.de!news-han1.dfn.de!news.uni-bielefeld.de!lili2.lili.uni-bielefeld.de Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15972 Hello! "Klaus Æ. Mogensen" writes: > I rather doubt that most of those who wear neckties these days > know it is a militaristic fashion, however. Well, whenever I wear a necktie, I think of myself as being ``in uniform'', as opposed to wearing a ``civilian'' sweat shirt. CU Clemens ObRPG: I'm sorry, Bob, but ``Rainforest Nazi Crunch'' sucks. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- When there is useful information which [your] clmeier@lili.uni-bielefeld.de program can send to the terminal but not get Clemens Meier at itself, your customers start to say very GO C++ 3$ UL L+>+++ E++>+++ P- unkindly things about you. R.A.O'Keefe N++ R+>+++ G'''' b++ TWERPS+++ ###### From: grixit@NOUCE.gci-net.com (Dr Pepper) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 05:06:51 GMT Organization: GG TECH: Fandom and conversation (42:4802/1001) Lines: 42 Message-ID: X-Complaints-To: newsabuse@supernews.com X-Message-ID: <42:4802/1001@Candynet 77021521> X-Gate: grixit@gci-net.com X-Poster: Net-Tamer Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!sn-xit-03!supernews.com!sn-inject-01!corp.supernews.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16092 X-From: grixit@NOUCE.gci-net.com (Dr Pepper) On Wed 23 Aug 2000 18:01, Frank J. Perricone wrote to ALL about "Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplayin". FJP> X-Subject: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will FJP> Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con FJP> On Wed, 23 Aug 2000 12:13:28 +0100, Michael Cule FJP> FJP> wrote: >> >> a)The Supreme Court has never upheld 'violence' as a criteria for >> >> 'harmful to minors'. The legal definition requires sexuality. >> > >> >I hope I'm not the only one who finds the above perhaps the single >> >most absurd and ludicrous fact about our culture, the one I'd be >> >most embarassed to try to explain to the visiting aliens. >> >> Well, yes but there must be others. FJP> Sure, but this seems like the worst. I have this dream that FJP> the aliens are asking me to explain some things to evaluate FJP> if my nation deserves to be part of the Galactic Civilization, FJP> and thanks to great elocution and fast-talk and a few really FJP> high rolls, I've managed to explain the Republicans, the Spice FJP> Girls, Microsoft Windows, T.G.I.Friday's, "When Animals Attack", FJP> rap, and the UCITA, but when they get to this one, after a FJP> moment's pause I just give up and say, "Oh, well, nevermind." I remember a parody of Mad Magzine that included a Don Martin page called "One Day in the Park". It started with two people having sex on a bench. A cop comes by and says this is not allowed in a magazine sold to children. Then he brings in a steamroller and flattens the couple, after which he declares the strip acceptable. | 10 2 | grixit | DR PEPPER | @ | 4 | gci-net.com ###### From: Lizard Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 12:51:25 -0700 Organization: Ferengi Academy of Business Ethics Lines: 21 Message-ID: <39A57CBD.84F3DB9A@mrlizard.com> References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <8o3qpf$882$1@nnrp1.deja.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: p-652.newsdawg.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.5 [en] (WinNT; I) X-Accept-Language: en,pdf Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.stanford.edu!pln-w!spln!dex!extra.newsguy.com!newsp.newsguy.com!enews3 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16006 aetherson wrote: > If we can get to the point where they can critique our childrearing, I > honestly don't care how brutal they are -- it's still a triumph of > communication and understanding. > L. Neil Smith had the interesing concept that while physical evolution can and will produce all sorts of unimaginable physical forms, the requirements of sapience, and especially of developing technology in a universe where we all play by the same laws of science, will shape a common *psychology* -- so that any species we encounter will be recognizeable in their mentality, though not their body. I'm not sure I buy this, but it's a nifty idea, and a counterpoint to the assumption "We'd never be able to communicate with aliens, 'cause they're too alien" conceit which is common among sophisticated types that like to 'dis' the "humans in funny suits" model of aliens common in most bad, and some good, SF. Frankly, I'd rather deal with VERY alien aliens than ones too much like us. I do not want to play "aztec" to some extraterrestrial Cortez. ###### From: bjm10@cornell.edu (Bryan J. Maloney) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 13:47:42 -0400 Organization: Cornell University Lines: 9 Sender: verified_for_usenet@cornell.edu (bjm10 on potato.cit.cornell.edu) Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <39a551f6@cobweb.scarymonsters.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: potato.cit.cornell.edu X-Trace: news01.cit.cornell.edu 967139260 1317 132.236.156.18 (24 Aug 2000 17:47:40 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@news01.cit.cornell.edu NNTP-Posting-Date: 24 Aug 2000 17:47:40 GMT X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.4 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!enews.sgi.com!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsstand.cit.cornell.edu!bjm10 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16112 Socks are a vital part of the maintainance of the human pair bond. "Where are my socks???" -- For those in the know, potrzebie is truly necessary. ###### From: Alan Kellogg Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 13:15:23 -0700 Organization: CTSnet Internet Services Lines: 27 Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <39a551f6@cobweb.scarymonsters.net> X-Trace: thoth.cts.com 967148240 36259 204.216.199.176 (24 Aug 2000 20:17:20 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@cts.com User-Agent: MT-NewsWatcher/3.0 (PPC) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!sunqbc.risq.qc.ca!nntp.flash.net!mercury.cts.com!thoth.cts.com!mythusmage Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16118 In article <39a551f6@cobweb.scarymonsters.net>, Ryan Franklin wrote: > Lizard wrote: > > On Thu, 24 Aug 2000 03:22:18 GMT, David Fair > > wrote: > > >>Socks (They protect your feet from the shoe. What is the shoe for? It > >>protects your foot from the ground. Ooookaaaaaayyyy... > > > > Well, this is easy to explain. We evolved sentience, which caused our > > bodies to, for all practical purposes, stop evolving. So our females > > hips are too narrow, our spines aren't really suited for bipedal > > walking, and we design tools our hands aren't 100% suited for. (Carpal > > tunnel syndrome) > > There's another part that would help the aliens understand--once you've > explained sweat (and the odors produced by bacteria), one purpose for > socks will be clear to them. It concentrates stale sweat, the resultant smell making it easier to get a seat on the subway. Alan -- You can't be a figment of my imagination, I'd've done a better job ###### From: aetherson Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 18:50:33 GMT Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy. Lines: 44 Message-ID: <8o3qpf$882$1@nnrp1.deja.com> References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: 64.208.50.221 X-Article-Creation-Date: Thu Aug 24 18:50:33 2000 GMT X-Http-User-Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.0; Windows NT; DigExt) X-Http-Proxy: 1.1 x60.deja.com:80 (Squid/1.1.22) for client 64.208.50.221 X-MyDeja-Info: XMYDJUIDaetherson Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.tesion.net!news.belwue.de!news.uni-ulm.de!rz.uni-karlsruhe.de!fu-berlin.de!news.maxwell.syr.edu!nntp2.deja.com!nnrp1.deja.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15991 In article , Michael Cule wrote: > In article , Frank J. > Perricone writes > >> Two important points: > >> > >> a)The Supreme Court has never upheld 'violence' as a criteria for > >> 'harmful to minors'. The legal definition requires sexuality. > > > >I hope I'm not the only one who finds the above perhaps the single most > >absurd and ludicrous fact about our culture, the one I'd be most embarassed > >to try to explain to the visiting aliens. > > Well, yes but there must be others. I suspect that the things I'd have a hard time explaining to aliens would be rather more fundamental. Y'know, like, "Um, no, Mr. Galactic Overlord, it's considered rude to defecate on one's host here on Earth." "Pardon me, oh enlightened alien visitor, but would you mind practicing your ritual infanticide behind closed doors?" "No, great interstellar mind, I'm sure that the Secretary General's direct eye contact with you was /not/ meant to indicate vendetta on you and your house even unto the seventh generation." "I'm afraid, most intrepid of otherworldly explorers, that we of earth have not yet grasped the fundamental concept that seawater with 7% salt content is the ultimate in creation, and, as such, should be destroyed whenever possible." If we can get to the point where they can critique our childrearing, I honestly don't care how brutal they are -- it's still a triumph of communication and understanding. Mike (aetherson) Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. ###### From: Frank J. Perricone Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Organization: http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn/ Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <8o3qpf$882$1@nnrp1.deja.com> X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 18 X-Abuse-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers X-Abuse-Info: Otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly X-Complaints-To: support@usenetserver.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 19:07:47 EDT Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 19:09:47 -0400 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed2.onemain.com!feed1.onemain.com!cyclone2.usenetserver.com!news-out.usenetserver.com!cyclone1.usenetserver.com!news-east.usenetserver.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15981 On Thu, 24 Aug 2000 18:50:33 GMT, aetherson wrote: > > Well, yes but there must be others. > > I suspect that the things I'd have a hard time explaining to aliens > would be rather more fundamental. Y'know, like, ...like how some people couldn't tell a joke if you buried them neck-deep in Joke Juice and spraypainted "Joke" on a thousand-foot billboard which you then wrapped around their head and shone very bright lights through. That one would be pretty hard to explain. Come to think of it, Usenet would be fairly difficult as a whole. -- * Frank J. Perricone * hawthorn@sover.net * http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn Prism: http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn/Prism/ Just because we aren't all the same doesn't mean we have nothing in common Just because we have something in common doesn't mean we're all the same ###### From: aetherson Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 23:43:16 GMT Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy. Lines: 27 Message-ID: <8o4bug$rud$1@nnrp1.deja.com> References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <8o3qpf$882$1@nnrp1.deja.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: 64.208.50.221 X-Article-Creation-Date: Thu Aug 24 23:43:16 2000 GMT X-Http-User-Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.0; Windows NT; DigExt) X-Http-Proxy: 1.1 x55.deja.com:80 (Squid/1.1.22) for client 64.208.50.221 X-MyDeja-Info: XMYDJUIDaetherson Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!newsfeed.sovam.com!newsfeed.gamma.ru!Gamma.RU!news.tele.dk!128.230.129.106!news.maxwell.syr.edu!nntp2.deja.com!nnrp1.deja.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16011 In article , Frank J. Perricone wrote: > On Thu, 24 Aug 2000 18:50:33 GMT, aetherson wrote: > > > > Well, yes but there must be others. > > > > I suspect that the things I'd have a hard time explaining to aliens > > would be rather more fundamental. Y'know, like, > > ...like how some people couldn't tell a joke if you buried them neck- deep > in Joke Juice and spraypainted "Joke" on a thousand-foot billboard which > you then wrapped around their head and shone very bright lights through. > That one would be pretty hard to explain. Come to think of it, Usenet > would be fairly difficult as a whole. Or how some people take offense when other people follow up their jokes with more jokes? Mike (aetherson) ###### From: Frank J. Perricone Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Organization: http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn/ Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <8o3qpf$882$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8o4bug$rud$1@nnrp1.deja.com> X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 12 X-Abuse-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers X-Abuse-Info: Otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly X-Complaints-To: support@usenetserver.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 06:53:52 EDT Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 06:55:48 -0400 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!psinet-eu-nl!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!xfer13.netnews.com!netnews.com!feed2.onemain.com!feed1.onemain.com!cyclone2.usenetserver.com!news-out.usenetserver.com!cyclone1.usenetserver.com!news-east.usenetserver.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16125 On Thu, 24 Aug 2000 23:43:16 GMT, aetherson wrote: > Or how some people take offense when other people follow up their jokes > with more jokes? If that's what you call joking, please go back to being serious, buddy. -- * Frank J. Perricone * hawthorn@sover.net * http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn Prism: http://www.sover.net/~hawthorn/Prism/ Just because we aren't all the same doesn't mean we have nothing in common Just because we have something in common doesn't mean we're all the same ###### From: Rick Pikul Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Message-ID: References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> X-Newsreader: MicroPlanet Gravity v2.30 Lines: 30 Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 16:54:19 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.161.225.133 X-Complaints-To: residential-security@team.look.ca X-Trace: quark.idirect.com 967222459 209.161.225.133 (Fri, 25 Aug 2000 12:54:19 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 12:54:19 EDT Organization: Internet Look Communications - http://www.look.ca Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.direct.ca!look.ca!brick.direct.ca!quark.idirect.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16041 In article , dafair@bellatlantic.net says... > On 8/23/00 7:13 AM whilst I sat in a shadowy corner of the inn, Michael Cule > from mikec@room3b.demon.co.uk sidled up to my table and whispered: > > > What other things do you see yourself having difficulty explaining to > > the Galactic Federation? > > Chewing Gum (Chew this, but don't swallow it) Easy, so long as they understand the concept of eating something because it tastes good. > Cigarettes (Light this on fire and breathe the smoke) I'm trying to figure this one out myself. :} > Socks (They protect your feet from the shoe. What is the shoe for? It > protects your foot from the ground. Ooookaaaaaayyyy... Socks will soak up all the sweat etc. from your feet, thus you don't need to wash your shoes. My hard to explain item: People who believe rags like 'The Weekly World News'. -- Phoenix ###### From: aetherson Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy ban roleplaying in time for Gen Con Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 17:07:03 GMT Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy. Lines: 21 Message-ID: <8o6936$1ja$1@nnrp1.deja.com> References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> <8o3qpf$882$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8o4bug$rud$1@nnrp1.deja.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: 64.208.50.221 X-Article-Creation-Date: Fri Aug 25 17:07:03 2000 GMT X-Http-User-Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.0; Windows NT; DigExt) X-Http-Proxy: 1.1 x56.deja.com:80 (Squid/1.1.22) for client 64.208.50.221 X-MyDeja-Info: XMYDJUIDaetherson Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!nntp-out.monmouth.com!newspeer.monmouth.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!nntp2.deja.com!nnrp1.deja.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:15984 In article , Frank J. Perricone wrote: > On Thu, 24 Aug 2000 23:43:16 GMT, aetherson wrote: > > > Or how some people take offense when other people follow up their jokes > > with more jokes? > > If that's what you call joking, please go back to being serious, buddy. If you can't figure out that lines like, "Oh great alien overlord, please don't defecate on the host" (or whatever it was) aren't entirely serious, it's time to put your shrink on danger money. Mike (aetherson) Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. ###### Message-ID: <39A70D3E.C32E278C@usa.net> From: Dyson X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.7 [en] (Win98; I) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc Subject: Re: Embarrassing things to explain to aliens. Was: Will Indy banroleplaying in time for Gen Con References: <39A29D32.F1A80C72@dwave.net> <220820001653217499%guymc@evansville.net> <4fq6qskfcq8151s6j3vql2ge3hkkev4oen@4ax.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 8 Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 20:20:14 -0400 NNTP-Posting-Host: 206.186.112.196 X-Trace: nnrp1.uunet.ca 967249211 206.186.112.196 (Fri, 25 Aug 2000 20:20:11 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 20:20:11 EDT Organization: UUNET Canada News Reader Service Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!uni-erlangen.de!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!feed2.onemain.com!feed1.onemain.com!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!east1.newsfeed.sprint-canada.net!news.uunet.ca!nnrp1.uunet.ca.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.games.frp.misc:16254 > Chewing Gum (Chew this, but don't swallow it) It was originally created to strengthen jaw muscles as a form of therapy for jaw injuries, but it sort of caught on as a popular candy. (Sort of like Doc Marten's being created as orthopedic shoes, but caught on as a very popular boot for shit kicking.)