From: wrob@earthops.org (Brian) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: Artists preview Two Towers Extended on DVD! Date: 23 Aug 2003 00:57:50 -0700 Organization: http://groups.google.com/ Lines: 128 Message-ID: <54035f30.0308222357.5321da26@posting.google.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: 66.44.102.91 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Trace: posting.google.com 1061625471 6259 127.0.0.1 (23 Aug 2003 07:57:51 GMT) X-Complaints-To: groups-abuse@google.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 23 Aug 2003 07:57:51 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!switch.ch!news.imp.ch!news.imp.ch!snoopy.risq.qc.ca!headwall.stanford.edu!newsfeed.stanford.edu!postnews1.google.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:120923 The Two Towers Extended Edition was recently reviewed by Paul McCartney at a special New Line celebrity screening. Here's a copy of his report in its entirety!!! I read the news today oh boy, About a lucky man who made the grade. And though the news was rather sad, well, I just had to laugh. I saw the photograph. He blew his mind out Emyn Muil -- He didn't notice that the Lurtz had aimed. A crowd of people stood and stared -- They'd seen his face before. Nobody was really sure if he was one of Gondor's Lords... I saw a film today, oh boy. The Entish army had just won the war. A crowd of people turned away... but I just had to look -- Having read the book! I'd love to turn you on: FRODO: "Woke up, got out of bed. Wrapped the Ring around my head. I went up some stairs and drank a cup. And looking up, I noticed I was late... Took my cloak and grabbed my hat Past Morgul Vale in seconds flat. Then I went up Mount Doom and had a smoke; then Sauron spoke and I went into a dream..." (LOTR: The Two Towers, Ch.22, p.555) I read the news today, oh boy -- 4,000 holes in Buckland, by the Shire. And though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all. Now they know how many hobbit holes it takes to fill the Golden Hall! (not) Apple Music, 2003. All rights (not!) reserved. -------------- So far, so good. Here's two more reviews from the same screening. Needless to say, I'm pumped! :-p The Two Towers (DVD) review by Guy Picciotto for Dischord Records (not!) 2003 Crush my calm oh you peter j(ackson) Was sitting tight so quiet quiet In the dark till the wraiths come up my heart Beating like a riot riot Osgiliath are you sitting on a sign For someone to come on toss a ring You poor city of shame Ask me what you're needing I'll sell you his name cos he was the one to send it with truth that's something from some don and phillipa boyens Complete control for peter jackson If it's not for sale you can't buy it buy it Sad-eyed harvey weinstein reaching for your wallet Like hand to holster why don't you try it try it Hollywood are you waiting on a sign For someone to come on bust a genre You poor city of shame Ask me what you're reading I'll front you his name cos he was the one to send it with truth that's something for his son and phillipa boyens ------------- The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (DVD) Review by John McCrea for Cake Publications (not) 2003 Reluctantly crouched at the dwarven mine. Uruks pumping, and thumping in time. His bright eye flashes, the future king. Churning and burning, they yearn for the ring. They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank, Fell fire burning fast on the river bank. Reckless, and wild, they pour through the huorns. Their prowess is potent; and secretly stern -- As they fight to the finish the flags go down. The fans get up .... and they get out of town. Helm's Deep is now empty - except for one man, Still striding and striving as fast as he can. The sun has gone down on the future king. And long ago somebody left with the ring, But Strider's striving, contriving more pointless plot turns. And thinking of someone for whom.. he.. still... burns. He's going the distance. He's star of film three. She's alone, All alone in a time of need. And Gandalf's racing and pacing, and plotting the course, He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse, He's going the distance. ----- No trophy, no flowers, no phials, no wine, He's haunted by something he cannot define. Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse, Assail him, impale him with Oliphaunt force. In his mind he's still Ranging, still making the grade. She's hoping in time that her memories will fade 'cause He's still yelling, rapelling, and repelling with force; He's biding and brooding and sliding off his horse. Cross the sundering seas and the elves will all sing That long ago somebody left with the ring. But He's still ranging, and manging, and chewing the ferns, and thinking of someone for whom he still burns... He's going the distance, on DVD. For fans alone, all alone in their time of need. So he'll be racing, and pacing, and plotting the course, Forever fighting and biting and riding on his ... horse. ###### From: wrob Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: Re: Artists preview Extended Two Towers Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 09:14:47 -0400 Lines: 127 Message-ID: <3F4A0BC5.9B8E4572@erols.com> References: <54035f30.0308222357.5321da26@posting.google.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: UmFuZG9tSVYFpVGFZ1mEv7IUlJ3N3gwfPa5ykbxF1/8lQW/yGX87OgQDpausj++7 X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 25 Aug 2003 13:10:52 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.5 (Macintosh; I; PPC) X-Accept-Language: en,pdf Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!newsfeed.stueberl.de!peer01.cox.net!cox.net!feed2.news.rcn.net!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:120971 What, no replies? Ah well... Brian wrote: > > The Two Towers Extended Edition was recently reviewed by > Paul McCartney at a special New Line celebrity screening. > Here's a copy of his report in its entirety!!! > > I read the news today oh boy, About a lucky man who > made the grade. And though the news was rather sad, > well, I just had to laugh. I saw the photograph. > > He blew his mind out Emyn Muil -- He didn't notice that > the Lurtz had aimed. A crowd of people stood and stared -- > They'd seen his face before. Nobody was really sure if > he was one of Gondor's Lords... > > I saw a film today, oh boy. > The Entish army had just won the war. > > A crowd of people turned away... but I just had to look -- > Having read the book! I'd love to turn you on: > > FRODO: "Woke up, got out of bed. > Wrapped the Ring around my head. > I went up some stairs and drank a cup. > And looking up, I noticed I was late... > Took my cloak and grabbed my hat > Past Morgul Vale in seconds flat. > Then I went up Mount Doom and had a smoke; > then Sauron spoke and I went into a dream..." > > (LOTR: The Two Towers, Ch.22, p.555) > > I read the news today, oh boy -- 4,000 holes in Buckland, > by the Shire. And though the holes were rather small, they > had to count them all. Now they know how many hobbit holes > it takes to fill the Golden Hall! > > (not) Apple Music, 2003. All rights (not!) reserved. > > -------------- > > So far, so good. Here's two more reviews from > the same screening. Needless to say, I'm pumped! :-p > > The Two Towers (DVD) review by > Guy Picciotto for Dischord Records (not!) 2003 > > Crush my calm oh you peter j(ackson) Was sitting tight > so quiet quiet In the dark till the wraiths come up > my heart Beating like a riot riot Osgiliath are you > sitting on a sign For someone to come on toss a ring > You poor city of shame > Ask me what you're needing > I'll sell you his name > cos he was the one to send it with truth > that's something from some don > > and phillipa boyens Complete control for peter jackson > If it's not for sale you can't buy it buy it Sad-eyed > harvey weinstein reaching for your wallet Like hand to > holster why don't you try it try it Hollywood are you > waiting on a sign For someone to come on bust a genre > You poor city of shame > Ask me what you're reading > I'll front you his name > cos he was the one to send it with truth > that's something for his son and phillipa boyens > > ------------- > > The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (DVD) > Review by John McCrea for Cake Publications (not) 2003 > > Reluctantly crouched at the dwarven mine. > Uruks pumping, and thumping in time. > > His bright eye flashes, the future king. > Churning and burning, they yearn for the ring. > > They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank, > Fell fire burning fast on the river bank. > Reckless, and wild, they pour through the huorns. > Their prowess is potent; and secretly stern -- > > As they fight to the finish the flags go down. > The fans get up .... and they get out of town. > Helm's Deep is now empty - except for one man, > Still striding and striving as fast as he can. > > The sun has gone down on the future king. > And long ago somebody left with the ring, > But Strider's striving, contriving more pointless plot turns. > And thinking of someone for whom.. he.. still... burns. > > He's going the distance. > He's star of film three. > She's alone, All alone > in a time of need. > > And Gandalf's racing and pacing, and plotting the course, > He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse, He's > going the distance. > > ----- > > No trophy, no flowers, no phials, no wine, > He's haunted by something he cannot define. > > Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse, > Assail him, impale him with Oliphaunt force. > > In his mind he's still Ranging, still making the grade. > She's hoping in time that her memories will fade 'cause > He's still yelling, rapelling, and repelling with force; > He's biding and brooding and sliding off his horse. > > Cross the sundering seas and the elves will all sing > That long ago somebody left with the ring. But He's > still ranging, and manging, and chewing the ferns, > and thinking of someone for whom he still burns... > > He's going the distance, on DVD. > For fans alone, all alone in their time of need. > So he'll be racing, and pacing, and plotting the course, > Forever fighting and biting and riding on his ... horse. ###### From: wrob Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: Re: Artists preview Two Towers Extended on DVD! Date: Mon, 01 Sep 2003 20:59:26 -0400 Lines: 11 Message-ID: <3F53EB5D.D2B9D1C3@erols.com> References: <54035f30.0308222357.5321da26@posting.google.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: UmFuZG9tSVb3br1JKO8Etq6q7JGADQc1IAfO6eE/0YfIv/d6FCs2CGcvH9R8eTZ+ X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 2 Sep 2003 00:55:09 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.5 (Macintosh; I; PPC) X-Accept-Language: en,pdf Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!cyclone.bc.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed2.news.rcn.net!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:121836 Yurk Yurk wrote: > > The Cake one is a classic. :) Thanks, man. I hope other people saw it. It didn't actually take that long to write... I had these parody versions bouncing around in my head for a while now. -Brian