From: Jamie Armstrong Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Doing in Frodo... (was Re: Gollum's role in destruction of the ring) Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 19:53:36 +0000 Organization: University of Durham Lines: 36 Message-ID: <3E68F8C0.50509@durham.ac.uk> References:

<3E60E5A6.8010509@durham.ac.uk> <3E611768.9010705@durham.ac.uk> <7Kp8a.4811$Xh1.24686@news-server.bigpond.net.au> <3E68E39A.4070604@durham.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: howlan04.dur.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: sirius.dur.ac.uk 1047066815 14790 129.234.54.4 (7 Mar 2003 19:53:35 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@durham.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 7 Mar 2003 19:53:35 +0000 (UTC) X-Accept-Language: en-gb, en User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.0; en-GB; rv:1.0.1) Gecko/20020823 Netscape/7.0 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.imp.ch!news.imp.ch!zen.net.uk!newspeer.lavaseals.co.uk!diablo.theplanet.net!news.indigo.ie!feeder.news.heanet.ie!server5.netnews.ja.net!server6.netnews.ja.net!nntphost.dur.ac.uk!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:113284 Joshua. wrote: > Vox Jamie Armstrong , Vox populi : > >>Yes. Unless, perhaps they anticipated Gandalf being there at the end, >>and, if Frodo refused to detroy the Ring, then picking up the Hobbit and >>chucking him in the fire! >> > lol. > > now that is a neat idea. > Well, it is a bit tongue in cheek, but seriously, I can't see what choice they'd have if Frodo *did* do an Isildur and refuse the advice of Gandalf/Aragorn/Legolas/Boromir/Gimli (assuming the plot took a different turn at Moria and Rauros). The alternative would be to risk Sauron and the Nazgul turning up and getting the Ring. Murdering Frodo would be the only real alternative. So how *would* they do it? 1 - clubbed off the edge like a golf-ball using Gandalf's staff? 2 - shot by Legolas' long-bow? 3 - an heroic last-ditch lunge from Aragorn, taking them both into the abyss (no Ring *and* no King! A republican's dream :) ) 4 - a less heroic but more pragmatic slit throat from Boromir (who'd probably grab the Ring and not tell...) 5 - the subtle dwarven approach of an axe in the head by Gimli? Of course all this assumes that the other Hobbits have been tied in a sack (sat on by Gimli, no doubt), or else they'd try to be noble and save Frodo the Traitor... Jamie ###### From: Jamie Armstrong Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Doing in Frodo... (was Re: Gollum's role in destruction of the ring) Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 20:57:55 +0000 Organization: University of Durham Lines: 38 Message-ID: <3E6907D3.5090201@durham.ac.uk> References:

<3E60E5A6.8010509@durham.ac.uk> <3E611768.9010705@durham.ac.uk> <7Kp8a.4811$Xh1.24686@news-server.bigpond.net.au> <3E68E39A.4070604@durham.ac.uk> <3E68F8C0.50509@durham.ac.uk> <3E690667.EA8829A3@hotmail.com> In-Reply-To: <3E690667.EA8829A3@hotmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Lines: 67 Message-ID: Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 21:29:04 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 24.103.161.63 X-Complaints-To: abuse@rogers.com X-Trace: news02.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com 1047072544 24.103.161.63 (Fri, 07 Mar 2003 16:29:04 EST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 16:29:04 EST Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!cyclone.bc.net!sjc70.webusenet.com!news.webusenet.com!news03.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com!news02.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:113329 Andy Cooke wrote: > Pradera wrote: > >>On 07 mar 2003, Jamie Armstrong scribbled >>loosely: >> >> >>>1 - clubbed off the edge like a golf-ball using Gandalf's staff? >>>2 - shot by Legolas' long-bow? >>>3 - an heroic last-ditch lunge from Aragorn, taking them both into the >>>abyss (no Ring *and* no King! A republican's dream :) ) >>>4 - a less heroic but more pragmatic slit throat from Boromir (who'd >>>probably grab the Ring and not tell...) >>>5 - the subtle dwarven approach of an axe in the head by Gimli? >> >>All at once, to make sure he gets it. >> > > > Legolas stepped back quietly from the manic Ringbearer. As Frodo > cackled his triumph and lifted his prize aloft, Legolas strung > his bow, pulled the fletching back to his cheek, and released the > dart. > > Sadly, he killed Aragorn, who chose that moment to lunge for > Frodo. The Heir of Isildur staggered forwards towards the edge > of the Cracks with a gulping sound as the arrow protruded from > his throat, and vanished from sight, ending the Line of Elros, > son of Eärendil, for all time. > > "Oh, for ..." muttered Gandalf. He strode forwards towards the > oblivious Frodo and swung back his staff mightily, in preparation > for a doughty swing. Unfortunately, Boromir was tiptoeing along > the ledge, intent on assassinating Frodo. The backswing of > Gandalf's staff caught him across the temple, and he vanished > into the Fire without a sound. > > "Oops", murmured Gandalf, looking into the flames guiltily. > > "Step aside for the axes of the Dwarves", growled Gimli, who > advanced ominously upon Frodo. He raised his axe, and would > doubtless have killed Frodo instantly if it were not for the > frantic rolling of the sack containing Merry and Pippin. Like a > demented bowling ball, the sack swept both the murderous Dwarf > and the penitent Wizard into the Cracks of Doom. > > Sam looked at Legolas, as Frodo slipped on the Ring and > vanished. "I think that we're in real trouble now", he said. > Legolas shrugged. > That was very very good... +a humble addition to your wonderful satire from the likes of my own meagrely truly worthless attempt at satirical writing: "No there is one more chance for peace yet: I just hope Gandalf has already called for the weapons inspectors to be sent into Mordor." said Legolas. "They should be here round about's Midsummers eve, 3 months hence." And as Sam son of Ham pondered the summer blossoms in his backyard, joyful in the knowledge that there were a great many others who would continue to do the great work required to secure peace in out world, he skipped with all gaiety outside the cave on the first steps of the long march home without his master. Hasan ###### From: Pradera Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Doing in Frodo... (was Re: Gollum's role in destruction of the ring) Date: 7 Mar 2003 20:20:48 GMT Organization: Your Company Lines: 20 Message-ID: References:

<3E60E5A6.8010509@durham.ac.uk> <3E611768.9010705@durham.ac.uk> <7Kp8a.4811$Xh1.24686@news-server.bigpond.net.au> <3E68E39A.4070604@durham.ac.uk> <3E68F8C0.50509@durham.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: 117-moo-7.acn.waw.pl (62.121.94.117) X-Trace: fu-berlin.de 1047068448 50240487 62.121.94.117 (16 [146550]) User-Agent: Xnews/5.04.25 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!newsfeed.stueberl.de!fu-berlin.de!uni-berlin.de!117-moo-7.acn.waw.PL!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:113368 On 07 mar 2003, Jamie Armstrong scribbled loosely: > 1 - clubbed off the edge like a golf-ball using Gandalf's staff? > 2 - shot by Legolas' long-bow? > 3 - an heroic last-ditch lunge from Aragorn, taking them both into the > abyss (no Ring *and* no King! A republican's dream :) ) > 4 - a less heroic but more pragmatic slit throat from Boromir (who'd > probably grab the Ring and not tell...) > 5 - the subtle dwarven approach of an axe in the head by Gimli? All at once, to make sure he gets it. -- Pradera --- -ignorance is no excuse for stupidity- http://www.pradera-castle.prv.pl/ http://www.tolkien-gen.prv.pl/ ###### From: Andy Cooke Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Doing in Frodo... (was Re: Gollum's role in destruction of the ring) Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 20:51:51 +0000 Lines: 49 Message-ID: <3E690667.EA8829A3@hotmail.com> References:

<3E60E5A6.8010509@durham.ac.uk> <3E611768.9010705@durham.ac.uk> <7Kp8a.4811$Xh1.24686@news-server.bigpond.net.au> <3E68E39A.4070604@durham.ac.uk> <3E68F8C0.50509@durham.ac.uk> Reply-To: cooke_adrian@hotmail.com NNTP-Posting-Host: 217.134.85.87 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Trace: news6.svr.pol.co.uk 1047070225 8661 217.134.85.87 (7 Mar 2003 20:50:25 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: 7 Mar 2003 20:50:25 GMT X-Complaints-To: abuse@theplanet.net X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.6 [en-gb]C-CCK-MCD NetscapeOnline.co.uk (Win98; I) X-Accept-Language: en,pdf Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!newsfeed.icl.net!newsfeed.fjserv.net!news.tele.dk!news.tele.dk!small.news.tele.dk!peer1.news.newnet.co.uk!mephistopheles.news.clara.net!news.clara.net!diablo.theplanet.net!news.theplanet.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:113297 Pradera wrote: > > On 07 mar 2003, Jamie Armstrong scribbled > loosely: > > > 1 - clubbed off the edge like a golf-ball using Gandalf's staff? > > 2 - shot by Legolas' long-bow? > > 3 - an heroic last-ditch lunge from Aragorn, taking them both into the > > abyss (no Ring *and* no King! A republican's dream :) ) > > 4 - a less heroic but more pragmatic slit throat from Boromir (who'd > > probably grab the Ring and not tell...) > > 5 - the subtle dwarven approach of an axe in the head by Gimli? > > All at once, to make sure he gets it. > Legolas stepped back quietly from the manic Ringbearer. As Frodo cackled his triumph and lifted his prize aloft, Legolas strung his bow, pulled the fletching back to his cheek, and released the dart. Sadly, he killed Aragorn, who chose that moment to lunge for Frodo. The Heir of Isildur staggered forwards towards the edge of the Cracks with a gulping sound as the arrow protruded from his throat, and vanished from sight, ending the Line of Elros, son of Eärendil, for all time. "Oh, for ..." muttered Gandalf. He strode forwards towards the oblivious Frodo and swung back his staff mightily, in preparation for a doughty swing. Unfortunately, Boromir was tiptoeing along the ledge, intent on assassinating Frodo. The backswing of Gandalf's staff caught him across the temple, and he vanished into the Fire without a sound. "Oops", murmured Gandalf, looking into the flames guiltily. "Step aside for the axes of the Dwarves", growled Gimli, who advanced ominously upon Frodo. He raised his axe, and would doubtless have killed Frodo instantly if it were not for the frantic rolling of the sack containing Merry and Pippin. Like a demented bowling ball, the sack swept both the murderous Dwarf and the penitent Wizard into the Cracks of Doom. Sam looked at Legolas, as Frodo slipped on the Ring and vanished. "I think that we're in real trouble now", he said. Legolas shrugged. -- Andy Cooke ###### From: Joshua. Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Doing in Frodo... (was Re: Gollum's role in destruction of the ring) Message-ID: References: <3E60E5A6.8010509@durham.ac.uk> <3E611768.9010705@durham.ac.uk> <7Kp8a.4811$Xh1.24686@news-server.bigpond.net.au> <3E68E39A.4070604@durham.ac.uk> <3E68F8C0.50509@durham.ac.uk> <3E690667.EA8829A3@hotmail.com> X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.93/32.576 English (American) MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Proxy-Client: jrmendoz@uiuc.edu from isr6778.urh.uiuc.edu Lines: 63 Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 15:11:16 -0600 NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.174.5.27 X-Complaints-To: abuse@uiuc.edu X-Trace: vixen.cso.uiuc.edu 1047071293 128.174.5.27 (Fri, 07 Mar 2003 15:08:13 CST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 15:08:13 CST Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!cyclone.bc.net!logbridge.uoregon.edu!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:113365 Vox Andy Cooke , Vox populi : >Pradera wrote: >> >> On 07 mar 2003, Jamie Armstrong scribbled >> loosely: >> >> > 1 - clubbed off the edge like a golf-ball using Gandalf's staff? >> > 2 - shot by Legolas' long-bow? >> > 3 - an heroic last-ditch lunge from Aragorn, taking them both into the >> > abyss (no Ring *and* no King! A republican's dream :) ) >> > 4 - a less heroic but more pragmatic slit throat from Boromir (who'd >> > probably grab the Ring and not tell...) >> > 5 - the subtle dwarven approach of an axe in the head by Gimli? >> >> All at once, to make sure he gets it. >> > >Legolas stepped back quietly from the manic Ringbearer. As Frodo >cackled his triumph and lifted his prize aloft, Legolas strung >his bow, pulled the fletching back to his cheek, and released the >dart. > >Sadly, he killed Aragorn, who chose that moment to lunge for >Frodo. The Heir of Isildur staggered forwards towards the edge >of the Cracks with a gulping sound as the arrow protruded from >his throat, and vanished from sight, ending the Line of Elros, >son of Eärendil, for all time. > >"Oh, for ..." muttered Gandalf. He strode forwards towards the >oblivious Frodo and swung back his staff mightily, in preparation >for a doughty swing. Unfortunately, Boromir was tiptoeing along >the ledge, intent on assassinating Frodo. The backswing of >Gandalf's staff caught him across the temple, and he vanished >into the Fire without a sound. > >"Oops", murmured Gandalf, looking into the flames guiltily. > >"Step aside for the axes of the Dwarves", growled Gimli, who >advanced ominously upon Frodo. He raised his axe, and would >doubtless have killed Frodo instantly if it were not for the >frantic rolling of the sack containing Merry and Pippin. Like a >demented bowling ball, the sack swept both the murderous Dwarf >and the penitent Wizard into the Cracks of Doom. > >Sam looked at Legolas, as Frodo slipped on the Ring and >vanished. "I think that we're in real trouble now", he said. >Legolas shrugged. you sir, are a genius. rotfl! - - Joshua. official cynical asshole of Simpsonica U of I. TEUNC abuser, AFT/RABT lurker. lover of blue. lover of blue. repeats things... ____