From: kueikutzu@-remove-hotmail.com Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: LOTR as written by other authors Organization: Cryptic Message-ID: X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 68 Date: Sat, 06 Jul 2002 03:11:44 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 12.88.107.84 X-Complaints-To: abuse@worldnet.att.net X-Trace: bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net 1025925104 12.88.107.84 (Sat, 06 Jul 2002 03:11:44 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 06 Jul 2002 03:11:44 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!newsfeed.icl.net!newsfeed.fjserv.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed2.news.rcn.net!rcn!wn1feed!worldnet.att.net!bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:90112 Thank you for contacting Mordorsoft Technical support. In your email you indicated that you were using **** A Pentium Ring of Power, version One (second Edition) ****Chipset: Hithlium 2000 ****Our records indicate that your warranty is good until the end of the Third Age. You seem to be experiencing some problems with the unit. Please refer to your MorgothDell bulletin 39xrsv568990-67409493-4543395969694 55 6 6 7 (b) when working with this problem ("What to do when your Ring of Power does not boot") A note, our records indicate that you are not the original owner of this unit. We have made a record of your email origin and 9 Ringware Piracy inspectors are on their way. To continue Touch some non conducting object, then place the Ring in a Fire. Underneath the Genuine Mordorsoft Hologram (TM) you will see two small indentations. These are the Jumper units. *Carefuly* move the left jumper in, then move the right jumper out. Then move the right jumper in and the left jumper out. Then move the left jumper in, and the right jumper out And you shake it all about. You do the Hokey-Pokey, And you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about! Sorry, too much Jolt Cola. You also mentioned a certain transparency when using the unit. Go to the start menu, settings, control panel, display, settings, advanced settings, really advanced settings, Steuard settings, click on the Ring Icon and then press cancel. Do this whenever the problem occurs. It won't solve anything, but we will laugh ourselves silly thinking about you doing it. Your problem may require returning it to the MountDoom service center. If Balrog Express Air freight is not available in your location, you may return it yourself. Do not attempt to throw the unit into the flames yourself, this will invalidate the warranty. Thank you for contacting Mordorsoft, where corruption is not an option, it is built into every product. Your hold time is thirty minutes. Thank you, would you like to hear a little song? **** Thanks to Dell computers, for failing to diagnose the problem with my hard drive for a year, making me reinstall everything on the hard drive myself, and giving me wrong information on how to do it. You are the inspiration for this little ditty. -- Sindamor Pandaturion [remove -remove- to reply] ###### From: Lord Jubjub Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: Re: LOTR as written by other authors Organization: Land of Storm and Chaos References: User-Agent: MT-NewsWatcher/3.1 (PPC) X-Face: "ua3is=>0]J2[+"*Cg)=i[Q:LX=cv.xg444m7P$:_QCX5Ae2~+bd^d<(~X>P0h hs?}Mj@|zEBML Date: Sat, 06 Jul 2002 00:04:05 -0500 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: tayhou-207-218-236-196.ev1.net X-Trace: newsa.ev1.net 1025931070 tayhou-207-218-236-196.ev1.net (5 Jul 2002 23:51:10 -0500) Lines: 16 X-Authenticated-User: psiemens Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!deine.net!news-out.nuthinbutnews.com!propagator-sterling!news-in.nuthinbutnews.com!newsfeed.wirehub.nl!nnxp1.twtelecom.net!newsa.ev1.net!jubjub Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:90203 In article , kueikutzu@-remove-hotmail.com wrote: > Thanks to Dell computers, for failing to diagnose the problem with my > hard drive for a year, making me reinstall everything on the hard > drive myself, and giving me wrong information on how to do it. You > are the inspiration for this little ditty. > And y'all wonder why I like Apple computers. . . -- Lord Jubjub Ruler of the Jabberwocky, Guardian of the Wabe, Prince of the Slithy Toves, Leader of the raths, Keeper of the Bandersnatch ###### Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: Re: LOTR as written by other authors References: <3D26EE26.6A70@NOSPAMMERSpacbell.naught> X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: sbjensen@midway.uchicago.edu (Steuard Jensen) Lines: 26 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.135.12.7 X-Trace: news.uchicago.edu 1025968617 128.135.12.7 (Sat, 06 Jul 2002 10:16:57 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 06 Jul 2002 10:16:57 CDT Organization: The University of Chicago X-SessionID: JRDV8-29230-Z4-33704@news.uchicago.edu X-Hash-Info: post-filter,v:1.4 X-Hash: 028800b2 8fba153c 447bc9a2 a2c51473 de29ad28 Date: Sat, 06 Jul 2002 15:16:57 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!newsfeed.it.ip-plus.net!news.it.ip-plus.net!news.it.colt.net!peernews2.colt.net!pop-news-1.colt-telecom.nl!newsfeed.wirehub.nl!transit.news.xs4all.nl!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!news.uchicago.edu!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:90196 Quoth dgporter@NOSPAMMERSpacbell.naught in article <3D26EE26.6A70@NOSPAMMERSpacbell.naught>: > The original article has expired -- can someone repost it? I'm > collecting these satires. Which original article? The original article in this thread was just posted today (Saturday, July 6), so it would be exceedingly strange if it had already expired off your server. Moreover, its Message-ID was quoted in the previous article which makes it very easy to find on Google Groups. A link is: http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=u41diuo665ujgue042qrgbpfqf81c7vkhf%404ax.com > (THIS is why I hate excess snippage of GOOD stuff - as opposed to > drivel being snipped.) I don't understand. If you're worried about an article expiring, why would it help for someone to quote the whole thing within a few hours of the original being posted? Wouldn't the reply expire within a few hours of the original? And why should long messages, good or bad, be sent over and over to servers around the world and downloaded by users who pay for internet access by the minute when they will be available on the Google archive anyway? I vote for snippage. :) Steuard Jensen ###### From: hsuwh@hotmail.com (Banazir the Jedi Hobbit) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien,alt.fan.tolkien Subject: Re: LOTR as written by other authors Date: 6 Jul 2002 13:19:18 -0700 Organization: http://groups.google.com/ Lines: 25 Message-ID: <91a1d472.0207061219.16bc87ba@posting.google.com> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: 172.146.12.36 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Trace: posting.google.com 1025986759 11617 127.0.0.1 (6 Jul 2002 20:19:19 GMT) X-Complaints-To: groups-abuse@google.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 6 Jul 2002 20:19:19 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.tesion.net!news.belwue.de!news-stu1.dfn.de!news-han1.dfn.de!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.stanford.edu!postnews1.google.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:90305 Lord Jubjub wrote in message news:... > In article , > kueikutzu@-remove-hotmail.com wrote: > > > >> Thanks to Dell computers, for failing to diagnose the problem with my >> hard drive for a year, making me reinstall everything on the hard >> drive myself, and giving me wrong information on how to do it. You >> are the inspiration for this little ditty. > > And y'all wonder why I like Apple computers. . . Speaking as the owner of a Dell AND several Macs (including an iMac, a G4, and a dual G4): trask and pfundgeben happeneth to them all. "I returned and saw beyond Balrog Cuttings, that the bork is not to the teuncy, nor the sparklies to the dwagins, neither yet struff to the Norns, nor yet CHOKLIT to Jedi Hobbits, but trask and pfundgeben happeneth to them all." - The Prophet Ojevind -- Banazir