From: jsibleywebster@mindspring.com (James Webster) Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien,rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Sports in Middle-earth Date: 11 Jun 2002 17:47:17 GMT Organization: MindSpring Enterprises Lines: 108 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: d1.56.02.cc Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.imp.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed2.news.rcn.net!rcn!newsfeed1.earthlink.net!newsfeed2.earthlink.net!newsfeed.earthlink.net!newsfeed0.news.atl.earthlink.net!news.atl.earthlink.net!news.mindspring.net!user-38lc0mc.dialup.mindspring.com!user Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:88840 Editor's Note: The following excerpt is from a chapter in the forthcoming volume, "The Compleat Traveler's Guide to Middle-earth." This excerpt concerns Elves, Dwarves, and Ents; future excerpts will cover Men, Fell beings, Hobbits, etc. The complete text of the chapter is available online at http://www.mindspring.com/~jsibleywebster/compleatguide/sports/ THE COMPLEAT TRAVELER'S GUIDE TO MIDDLE-EARTH: SPORTS Whether you like to mix it up or just cheer from the sidelines, Middle-earth has plenty of sporting options for the discerning visitor. Each race of sentient being has its own unique set of athletic games, many of which rival contemporary sports for nerve-tingling excitement. A word of advice, however: at times your concept of what passes for "rules" or "good sportsmanship" may be severely challenged. Remember, though you are in what will eventually become Europe, traditional ways of engagement as practiced by modern Western societies haven't been completely worked out yet. At times you may not even recognize that what you're observing is in fact sport! Nevertheless, if you keep an open mind and respect cultural differences, you're in for a ball! What follows are summaries of the types of sports that are played in Middle-earth, organized by race. There are overlaps, of course; participants of different races are often spectators at the same event (leading to some lively crowd interactions!), and some sports are practiced by more than one race (i.e., yacht racing by Elves and Men). But each race definitely has its own way of adding to the colorful pastiche that is sports in Middle-earth! ELVES One could say that, of the Middle-earth races, Elves are the truest sport-lovers of all. Actually witnessing an Elf sporting event, however, is quite problematic. This is because Elves most enjoy the sport of archery--and are only too willing to make YOU their target. Men and Dwarves have learned this; Orcs have not. Feathered Orc corpses are thus sometimes the only sign that Elves have had a game. Again, let me reiterate: spectators are not encouraged, though specially-sanctioned Palantír viewings can be arranged for a price. On the other hand, spectators need not fear to witness another Elf sport: yacht racing. The descendants of Earendil in particular like sailing, and willingly participate in the yearly Regatta on the coast of Belfalas. Unfortunately, while the First Born are exceptional sailors, their numbers have dwindled much in recent years, so much so that most of the entries now feature crews entirely of Men. Also, since Men are less likely to pay their respects to Ulmo, terrible drowning accidents have become more common, resulting in fewer entries; in the past what was a veritable yacht sea is now a much dicier proposition for all concerned. DWARVES No Dwarf will ever profess to be interested in sports; there are, they claim, more important things to do than to engage in vainglorious games when there is work to be done. But don't be fooled, there are Dwarf sports, and there is also a sizable contingent of Durin's folk who are flat-out obsessed by BETTING on sports. Indeed, some have made a living out of laying wagers with unwary travelers who, on passing through, get invited into a glittering Dwarf hall, are plied with mead, and wind up placing bets they regret later. A typical maneuver, made famous by Borin son of Skorin, is a sucker's game: the mark is lured into believing he's on a roll by letting him win a few bets (usually on Orc Ball contests), then gets nailed when he makes losing bets on lesser-known sports such as Eagle Racing or Elf Regatta. In Borin's case, his reputation eventually caught up with him, and only the most foolish rube from Rohan gets taken in completely now. If you do plan to visit a glittering underground Dwarf palace, such as New Menegroth, and you get tired of ogling their hoards of cleverly-wrought armor, jewel-studded belts and ornamental drinking cups, go ahead and make a side trip to a betting dais. Just make sure you don't insult the proprietor's ancestors, stick to sports you know, and go easy on the mead. Sports Played by Dwarves Dwarves do engage in some sports, but they actively discourage spectators of non-Dwarf origin. Which is probably for the best, for their sports are of martial origin, and sometimes involve active blood-letting. Dwarves are notoriously tough, however, and will often shrug off injuries that would incapacitate a Man or Elf. Their favorite sport has no rules, other than keeping a head count: Orc Hewing. Such contests can't be scheduled, of course, since Orcs can't be reliably expected to wander into Dwarf realms (unless part of a scheduled invasion from Mordor, of course). Nevertheless, Orc heads garnered in Orc Hewing contests are highly prized by purveyors of Orc Ball. There is one sport that Dwarves no longer play: Oak Hewing. This is because a party of Wood-elves once tricked some Dwarves into playing a game of Oak-Hewing at Fanghorn Forest, and Oak Hewing quickly turned into a game of Stomp the Dwarves by one very disturbed Ent. ENTS The Ents actually have a word for sport: umhumumumhumhumhumhumbabyhumhumumummmmmmmmmmmmswing. Since this word aroused the ire of the Entwives in ages past, it is now rarely spoken, though it has occasionally been heard when Dwarf squads nearby are looking for Orcs to hew. Otherwise, Ents don't engage in sports, except for the occasional game of hacky-sack at particularly boring Ent-moots, played with the freshly-hewn head of an Orc stuffed with acorns. Next: MEN! ###### From: pradera@pradera.prv.pl (Pradera) Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien,rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Sports in Middle-earth Date: 11 Jun 2002 18:33:22 GMT Organization: Pradera Lines: 19 Message-ID: <922AD73A5praderapraderaprvpl@130.133.1.4> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: 42-moo-3.acn.waw.pl (62.121.78.42) X-Trace: fu-berlin.de 1023820402 3584249 62.121.78.42 (16 [146550]) User-Agent: Xnews/03.09.22 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.imp.ch!news.imp.ch!fu-berlin.de!uni-berlin.de!42-moo-3.acn.waw.PL!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:88835 Nasta³ dzieñ 11 cze 2002, gdy James Webster by³ ³askaw napisaæ: >Next: MEN! Don't forget the Forochel Curling Cup. -- Pradera 'An ideal country should have japanese culture, dutch laws, american economy and irish pubs' ---