Message-ID: <3C1F74BB.3DCF0956@indigo.ie> From: Michael O'Neill Organization: O'Neill Quigley & Associates X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.08 [en] (Win95; I) MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien,rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Hobbit Ears are HUGE - Dumbo the Flying Elephant called in to give flying lessons... Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 68 Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2001 16:54:19 +0000 NNTP-Posting-Host: 194.125.145.149 X-Complaints-To: news@indigo.ie X-Trace: news.indigo.ie 1008694628 194.125.145.149 (Tue, 18 Dec 2001 16:57:08 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2001 16:57:08 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!skynet.be!skynet.be!newsfeed.esat.net!news.heanet.ie!news.indigo.ie!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:63943 I have never become too embroiled in the "leafiness"-or-otherwise arguments about Elven ears, which periodically grace this group when people tire of WANTON and RANK speculation about Balrogs W---s, but at this point I feel must speak out. I hace seen the new LoTR Card Collector's "scrapbook" in which there are MANY piccies from the film as background to children's card-pasting activities. Despite vague attempts by Jacksonfuckwit to hide them under heads of hair like unto explosions in several matress factories, HUGE *MR.SPOCK* EARS are visible on all hobbit heads!!!!111111!!!!!111!!!!! Never mind yer delicately crafted and finely tapered Elven lobes, these ears are::: huge::: HUGE::: H-U-G-E::: motherfuckers of aural appendages!!!1111!!!!!111111111!!!!!!!!!11111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I suppose this is so that Hobbits can use super-hearing to hear Gollum in Moria or something. Perhaps its in the Book. Low Flying Hobbits. Mebbee that train over the Farewell Party was a troupe of Chinese Dragon Low Flying Hobbits dressed up as a train. Have I missed this all these years? Mebbee there's going to be an aerial battle above Orodruin, with Shadowfax becoming Pegasus, the Witch-King on his mount, several regal looking Eagles [prolly holding pickets in a demarcation disput with the Tolkien Estate over teh film's infringement of the "Flying Eagles Union Rules of Engagement of Against Against Aerial Combatants"] and, last but not least two or mebbee even four Low Flying Hobbits. By then of course they'd have gained some skill at it skill and could be deemed High Flying Hobbits. Pipeweed prolly expands their ears or summat. Just as well since low flyign over Oridruin would have rendered them Low Flying Burnt Hobbits. 'Nayway, Gollum looks great. No nose worth talking about after picking it under the mountain for several hundred years, but great all the same. Exactly what an undead Hobbit ancestor several hundred years old *should* look like and very close to my own imagining. Except for the lack of a schnozz. And now we know what he lived on when he couldn't get Orcmeat. Finally, then, there's old Caradhras, the Cruel, as it was in the book. No longer. Emasculated. Forgotten. Powerless. SO what causes the snow? Well, it may not be SNOW per se. It might be an avalanche! Consider, if you will, these quick excerpts of ACTUAL FILM DIALOGUE lifted from the "scrapbook"... "Its Saruman!" "He's trying to bring down the Mountain on us." "But there is another way. Under the Mountain!" Or words to that effect. Allegedly. As seen on a five minute scan whilst buying my lunch earlier today. I'm surprised the Hobbits didn't fly OVER the mountain with those HUGE ears... FWIW M. ###### Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!not-for-mail From: Neil Franklin Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien,rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Hobbit Ears are HUGE - Dumbo the Flying Elephant called in to give flying lessons... Date: 18 Dec 2001 22:49:56 +0100 Organization: My own Private Self Lines: 64 Message-ID: <6usna89p17.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch> References: <3C1F74BB.3DCF0956@indigo.ie> NNTP-Posting-Host: chonsp.franklin.ch X-Trace: chonsp.franklin.ch 1008712199 530 10.0.3.2 (18 Dec 2001 21:49:59 GMT) X-Complaints-To: news@chonsp.franklin.ch NNTP-Posting-Date: 18 Dec 2001 21:49:59 GMT X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.7/Emacs 20.4 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:64117 Michael O'Neill writes: > Despite vague attempts by Jacksonfuckwit to hide them under heads of > hair like unto explosions in several matress factories, HUGE *MR.SPOCK* > EARS are visible on all hobbit heads!!!!111111!!!!!111!!!!! I would not call that "huge". Now strangely shaped, yes, with an sort of point out backwards. Stange. And Mr.Spock has his pointing upwards, rather like PJs elves actually. > Perhaps its in the Book. IIRC there is something about lightly pointed. But not about miss-shapen. > Finally, then, there's old Caradhras, the Cruel, as it was in the book. > No longer. Emasculated. Forgotten. Powerless. As I said to last Thursday. > SO what causes the snow? > Well, it may not be SNOW per se. It might be an avalanche! Consider, if > you will, these quick excerpts of ACTUAL FILM DIALOGUE lifted from the > "scrapbook"... > > "Its Saruman!" > > "He's trying to bring down the Mountain on us." It _is_ an avalanche. From my film review post on last Thrusday [1]: ------------- Massive bad change: The snowstorm is not caused by cruel Cardhras, but storm and avalanche are by Saruman, with who Gandalf ever gets telepathic contact while he attacks. This is an IMHO totally unneccessary change. That even the mountain can be evil gets lost for no film reason. Booo. ------------- See the word "avalanche" in there? [1] that post was: Subject: Film review, my own, not link to journalists, massive spoiler, long Date: 13 Dec 2001 22:28:20 +0100 Message-ID: <6uu1uun72j.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch> > Or words to that effect. Allegedly. As seen on a five minute scan whilst > buying my lunch earlier today. Definitely. As seen on an multi-hour cinema visit. Yes, I have seen the film. The entire film. And reported it here. -- Neil Franklin, neil@franklin.ch.remove http://neil.franklin.ch/ Hacker, Unix Guru, El Eng HTL/BSc, Sysadmin, Archer, Roleplayer - Intellectual Property is Intellectual Robbery