From: "Mike Greene" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Pulp Tolkien Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 14:06:30 -0400 Lines: 16 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.50.4133.2400 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.50.4133.2400 NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.100.41.10 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.100.41.10 Message-ID: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> X-Trace: 14 Jul 2000 18:06:04 GMT, 209.100.41.10 Organization: CCMNet XPident: Unknown Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!chicago-news-feed1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!news.ccm.net!209.100.41.10 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23501 Sorry, I can't find the FAQ anywhere. I used to be a regular on this group 5-7 years ago, and there was a thread with Pulp Fiction scenes played by Tolkien characters. Some of those were pretty funny, and I lost my collection recently. I would appreciate it if someone could point me to a website with these archived, and to a website with this group's FAQ. Thanks, -Mike bombadil@oldforest.net http://www.oldforest.net/ ###### Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: sbjensen@midway.uchicago.edu (Steuard Jensen) Lines: 33 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.135.12.7 X-Trace: uchinews 963602830 128.135.12.7 (Fri, 14 Jul 2000 14:27:10 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 14:27:10 CDT Organization: The University of Chicago Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 19:27:10 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!uchinews!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23520 Quoth "Mike Greene" : > Sorry, I can't find the FAQ anywhere. The last posting of W.D.B. Loos's 2 FAQs (in 3 messages) was July 1, while the last posting my my "Tolkien Newsgroups FAQ" was July 6. If you'd rather avoid the digging necessary to find them amidst all the old articles, I've got them all on my website at http://home.uchicago.edu/~sbjensen/Tolkien/ I hope that they're helpful to you. :) > I used to be a regular on this group 5-7 years ago, and there was a > thread with Pulp Fiction scenes played by Tolkien characters. Some > of those were pretty funny, and I lost my collection recently. I was here for a few months late in 1994, but I don't recall how active I was at the time. I'm not sure who else that's still here regularly you'd remember (Conrad Dunkerson seems like a likely one...) As for Pulp Tolkien, the best place to look is probably O. Sharp's "Tolkien Sarcasm Page", at some page or other linked from his site at http://www.speakeasy.org/~ohh/ While you're there, you should take a look at the group's work in progress: an "etext" of the Lord of the Rings. :) If the things you're looking for aren't there, then the best advice that I can give you is to wait for Deja.com to get its old news archive back up and running. That should be a matter of a few months, from the sound of it. Anyway, best wishes, and we're happy to have you back if you're interested in spending some time here. :) Steuard Jensen ###### From: brahms@mindspring.com (Stan Brown) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 15:31:33 -0400 Organization: Oak Road Systems Lines: 18 Message-ID: References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: a5.79.ce.f9 X-Server-Date: 14 Jul 2000 19:30:49 GMT X-Newsreader: MicroPlanet Gravity v2.10 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!newsfeedZ.netscum.dQ!netscum.int!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23571 Mike Greene wrote in rec.arts.books.tolkien: >Sorry, I can't find the FAQ anywhere. I don't see how anyone can make such a statement with a straight face these days. I can't imagine what "anywhere" you might have looked at. Surely, even if the FAQ articles have expired from your server, you can pull them up at deja. But just because I'm a heck of a nice guy, you can also follow the link in my sig. -- Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems, Cleveland, Ohio, USA http://oakroadsystems.com Tolkien FAQs: http://home.uchicago.edu/~sbjensen/Tolkien Encyclopedia of Arda: http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/default.htm more FAQs: http://oakroadsystems.com/tech/faqget.htm ###### Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> <396FD6D2.14DE@yahoo.com> X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: sbjensen@midway.uchicago.edu (Steuard Jensen) Lines: 18 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.135.12.7 X-Trace: uchinews 963603284 128.135.12.7 (Fri, 14 Jul 2000 14:34:44 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 14:34:44 CDT Organization: The University of Chicago Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 19:34:44 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!uchinews!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23521 Quoth Mia Kalogjera : > As for the FAQ, there are two versions that appear here, > D.B. Loos' and Steuard Jensen's (I _think_), but I > can't for the life of me remember where they are archived. I've answered this in another post in the thread... but I just wanted to point out a rather odd observation I made about your post: it's showing up as having been posted at about 10:15 pm central daylight time... despite the fact that it's currently 2:30pm by my watch. At least the date's right... but you might want to have a look at whatever computer is adding that date stamp. :) ObTolkien: Tolkien paid very close attention to the dates and times of events in LotR, making sure that they all fit together in a reasonable way, and we tend to see this as a good thing. What does this (taken together with my silly concern about Mia's computer's clock, above) say about our society? Steuard Jensen ###### Message-ID: <396F819B.C64E4639@indigo.ie> From: Michael O'Neill Organization: O'Neill Quigley & Associates X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.08 [en] (Win95; I) MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> <396FD6D2.14DE@yahoo.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 30 Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 22:09:47 +0100 NNTP-Posting-Host: 194.125.145.157 X-Complaints-To: news@indigo.ie X-Trace: news.indigo.ie 963609031 194.125.145.157 (Fri, 14 Jul 2000 22:10:31 BST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 22:10:31 BST Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.icl.net!iol.ie!news.indigo.ie!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23578 Steuard Jensen wrote: > > Quoth Mia Kalogjera : > > As for the FAQ, there are two versions that appear here, > > D.B. Loos' and Steuard Jensen's (I _think_), but I > > can't for the life of me remember where they are archived. > > I've answered this in another post in the thread... but I just wanted > to point out a rather odd observation I made about your post: it's > showing up as having been posted at about 10:15 pm central daylight > time... despite the fact that it's currently 2:30pm by my watch. At > least the date's right... but you might want to have a look at > whatever computer is adding that date stamp. :) > > ObTolkien: Tolkien paid very close attention to the dates and times of > events in LotR, making sure that they all fit together in a reasonable > way, and we tend to see this as a good thing. What does this (taken > together with my silly concern about Mia's computer's clock, above) > say about our society? > Steuard Jensen It says you gotta watch. It says Mia don't gotta watch. It says we'd all betta watch it. That's wat it says. ###### From: mlindanne@hotmail.com (China Blue Ribbon Commission) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 19:51:21 -0700 Organization: Collective against Consensual Sanity Lines: 7 Message-ID: References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> X-Complaints-To: newsabuse@supernews.com X-Hello-Kitty: meow meow. X-Should: Prancing green elves on yellow daisy fields. X-Should-not: You're not allowed. X-Newsgroup-Bomb: Crossposted to heck and back. X-Ray-Specs: Off. X-Traneous-Reference: Kibo X-NSA-Bait: wiretap pgp cryptoterrorist rsa des Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!sjc-peer.news.verio.net!news.verio.net!sn-xit-01!supernews.com!sn-inject-01!corp.supernews.com!c180.ppp.tsoft.com!user Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23560 So what did Deagol have in his hands? -- CACS: Collective Against Consensual Sanity v0.123 Now a text site map http://www.tsoft.com/~wyrmwif/cacs/ pretty? http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Studios/5079/ :)-free zone. Cthulu in '00: .../cacs/politics.html ###### From: Mia Kalogjera Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 20:13:22 -0700 Organization: TEUNC Lines: 20 Message-ID: <396FD6D2.14DE@yahoo.com> References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: ar1-m201.tel.hr Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: as102.tel.hr 963598283 10871 195.29.236.201 (14 Jul 2000 18:11:23 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@tel.hr NNTP-Posting-Date: 14 Jul 2000 18:11:23 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 2.02 (Win16; I) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!argos.tel.hr!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23498 Mike Greene wrote: > I used to be a regular on this group 5-7 years ago, and there was a thread > with Pulp Fiction scenes played by Tolkien characters. Some of those were > pretty funny, and I lost my collection recently. Hi, The pulp versions are at's on Sharp's Tolkien Sarcasm page, www.speakeasy.org/~ohh/tolksarc.htm As for the FAQ, there are two versions that appear here, D.B. Loos' and Steuard Jensen's (I _think_), but I can't for the life of me remember where they are archived. -- "I don't walk on the edge. I walk on the other side." Die Andere Seite at http://www.crosswinds.net/~jereeza TheOneRing.net LotR film site at http://theonering.net e-mail: jereeza(at)yahoo.com or mia(at)theonering.net ###### Reply-To: "Conrad Dunkerson" From: "Conrad Dunkerson" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Lines: 17 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.50.4029.2901 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.50.4029.2901 Message-ID: Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 11:36:44 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 12.79.25.177 X-Complaints-To: abuse@worldnet.att.net X-Trace: bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net 963661004 12.79.25.177 (Sat, 15 Jul 2000 11:36:44 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 11:36:44 GMT Organization: AT&T Worldnet Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!sunqbc.risq.qc.ca!cyclone2.usenetserver.com!news-out.usenetserver.com!wn3feed!worldnet.att.net!wnmasters3!bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23533 "Steuard Jensen" wrote in message news:iQJb5.195$x3.3139@uchinews... > I was here for a few months late in 1994, but I don't recall how > active I was at the time. I'm not sure who else that's still > here regularly you'd remember (Conrad Dunkerson seems like a > likely one...) Actually, if I've got my dates right that'd be the time period during which I would have been posting from my boss's account... whose name by coincidence was 'Rohan Champion'. Got a few comments from people who thought it was a rather pretentious alias. :) Still, I actually used a .sig in those days so it is remotely possible someone might recognize my name from that. ###### From: "Morgil" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien(~) Lines: 28 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.5 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3 Message-ID: Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 12:57:24 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 194.142.0.150 X-Trace: read2.inet.fi 963665844 194.142.0.150 (Sat, 15 Jul 2000 15:57:24 EET DST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 15:57:24 EET DST Organization: Sonera corp Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!uni-erlangen.de!newsfeed1.telenordia.se!algonet!newsfeed1.funet.fi!newsfeeds.funet.fi!nntp.inet.fi!central.inet.fi!inet.fi!read2.inet.fi.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23529 Mike Greene kirjoitti viestissä <396f568c@news.ccm.net>... >Sorry, I can't find the FAQ anywhere. > >I used to be a regular on this group 5-7 years ago, and there was a thread >with Pulp Fiction scenes played by Tolkien characters. Some of those were >pretty funny, and I lost my collection recently. > > I wasn´t a regular then, so I never got the chance to suggest: - "I have been in the lands of Rhun and Harad where even the stars are different." - "Never mind the stars. Tell us about the hash-bars again." or - "This is a test of ones loyalty. DON`T try to steal the Ring. Just go over there, say goodbye, go home to Minas Tirith, jerk off, and that´s it." Morgil ###### From: "O. Sharp" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Date: 15 Jul 2000 22:06:03 GMT Organization: Garcon'! Coffee!... Lines: 58 Message-ID: <8kqn8b$dge$1@slb7.atl.mindspring.net> References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: c7.b7.09.72 User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-19990517 ("Psychonaut") (UNIX) (SunOS/4.1.4 (sun4m)) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23584 Mike Greene wrote, in part: : I used to be a regular on this group 5-7 years ago, and there was a thread : with Pulp Fiction scenes played by Tolkien characters. Some of those were : pretty funny, and I lost my collection recently. As others have noted, the Tolkien Sarcasm Page has "Pulp Tolkien" archived. The specific page is at www.speakeasy.org/~ohh/pulptolk.htm though I didn't archive all posts. And in fact, here's one I didn't add to the page. :) Posted here on 17 September 1995... (Restaurant table. Vincent sitting across table from Gandalf.) VINCENT I heard you did a pilot. GANDALF That was my "fifteen minutes". VINCENT What was it? GANDALF It was a show about a team of secret agents called WizForce Five. VINCENT What? GANDALF WizForce Five. "Wiz" as in we're a bunch of wizards. "Force" as in we're a force to be reckoned with (though we're forbidden to use it). "Five" because there's one, two, three, four, five of us. There was a blond one - Saruman O'Neill - he was the leader. The Japanese wizard was a Kung Fu master; the black wizard was a demolition expert; the French wizard's specialty was sex. VINCENT What was your specialty? GANDALF Fireworks. Character I played - Mithrandir McCoy - his background was he grew up raised by circus performers. According to the show he was the deadliest guy in the world with fire. And he knew a zillion old jokes. His Valar, an old vauevillian, taught him. And if we would've got picked up we would've worked in a gimmick where every time we destroyed a Great Ring, _I_ would've told another joke... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ohh@netcom.com "We should be fuckin' _dead_, man... this was divine intervention. This shit doesn't just happen... What happened here was a miracle. And I want you to fuckin' _acknowledge_ it." -either Jules talking to Vincent, or Frodo talking to Sam ###### From: Mia Kalogjera Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 20:38:34 -0700 Organization: TEUNC Lines: 17 Message-ID: <39712E3A.2D35@yahoo.com> References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> <396FD6D2.14DE@yahoo.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: ar1-m99.tel.hr Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: as102.tel.hr 963686192 4900 195.29.236.99 (15 Jul 2000 18:36:32 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@tel.hr NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Jul 2000 18:36:32 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 2.02 (Win16; I) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!uni-erlangen.de!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!argos.tel.hr!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23586 Steuard Jensen wrote: > but I just wanted > to point out a rather odd observation I made about your post: it's > showing up as having been posted at about 10:15 pm central daylight > time... I blame Merkin times. 22:15 DAYLIGHT time? Huh? > despite the fact that it's currently 2:30pm by my watch. At > least the date's right... but you might want to have a look at > whatever computer is adding that date stamp. :) My computer says as I write this that it's 20:37, and lo, it is. I think it's all gotta do with that load of strange calculations 'puters have to do to convert simple Euro time to those self-contradicting over-the-pond ones. :) ###### From: Varnast Karnassos Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Date: Sun, 16 Jul 2000 01:21:23 GMT Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy. Lines: 15 Message-ID: <8kr2m9$285$1@nnrp1.deja.com> References: <396f568c@news.ccm.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: 62.7.9.53 X-Article-Creation-Date: Sun Jul 16 01:21:23 2000 GMT X-Http-User-Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.0; Windows 98; DigExt) X-Http-Proxy: 1.1 x52.deja.com:80 (Squid/1.1.22) for client 62.7.9.53 X-MyDeja-Info: XMYDJUIDv_karnassos Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!nntp2.deja.com!nnrp1.deja.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23602 In article , mlindanne@hotmail.com (China Blue Ribbon Commission) wrote: > So what did Deagol have in his hands? > Why, a fishing rod, sir. Varnast -- Surely that's obvious? Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. ###### From: orius@webtv.net (David Sulger) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Pulp Tolkien Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 23:30:56 -0400 (EDT) Organization: WebTV Subscriber Lines: 17 Message-ID: <4699-39712C70-59@storefull-255.iap.bryant.webtv.net> References: <39712E3A.2D35@yahoo.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: localhost.webtv.net Mime-Version: 1.0 (WebTV) Content-Type: Text/Plain; Charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit X-WebTV-Signature: 1 ETAsAhRx+74/1TenfS/RSacdaamU7JpNaQIUCHyA9wyaa6dYqK4rJu+6m1MVNJQ= Content-Disposition: Inline Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!psinet-eu-nl!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.stanford.edu!paloalto-snf1.gtei.net!news.gtei.net!webtv.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:23599 >My computer says as I write this that it's >20:37, and lo, it is. Actaully, the time stamp on the message I read says 8:38 pm.... :) (Yes, I know 20:00 and 8 pm are the same) >I think it's all gotta do with that load of >strange calculations 'puters have to do to >convert simple Euro time to those >self-contradicting over-the-pond ones. I don't think some these big mainframes know how to talk to each other. For example, anything you post to the groups I usually see quoted in someone else's message before I see your post itself. --Dave