From: "O. Sharp" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: 6 May 2000 19:48:27 GMT Organization: Perhaps Steuard Would Like Chapter Three? Lines: 203 Message-ID: <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: c7.b7.09.72 User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-19990517 ("Psychonaut") (UNIX) (SunOS/4.1.4 (sun4m)) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!howland.erols.net!newsfeed.mindspring.net.MISMATCH!news.mindspring.net!newsfeed.mindspring.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18656 tulip111@my-deja.com, among others, wrote: : Eruadan wrote: :> Just thought you folks might be interested in being on the lookout for :> someone from this email address <> sending out :> private emails asking for text files of FOTR. : [snipppp] : I had one too - now consigned to oblivion, with the rest of the : nuisance messages. In fact, I had two - original request, then : correction to text files. I didn't get a copy. I'm so sad. :) ...But it occurs to me that what we _should_ be doing to handle these situations in the future is write up a complete text version of _LotR_ to give to everyone who wants a copy. Of course, that means we'd have to type in the entire book. Big job. In the interests of furthering cooperation, however, I will be happy to type in the first chapter. :) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, Chapter One: A Long-Expected Party. Copyright (c) 2000 by J.R.R. Tolkien. Anyone who has an interest in living authors, at least, should illegally copy this anyway because he's already dead. "So you're going to go through with it, then," Gandalf the Wizard sid slowly. "I am," Bilbo replied. "I've been planning this for a long time. It'll give the Hobbits of the Shire something to talk about for the next nine days - or ninety-nine, more likely. Anyway, at least I'll have my little joke." "Who will laugh, I wonder?" Gandalf mused aloud, scratching his beard idly. For weeks carts and caravans were coming from all over Middle-earth to bring provisions for the Grand Old Party, as Bilbo referred to it. Wagons of food from the Dwarvish mines at Erebor, shiny rocks from the Sea-elves and fancy seductive packages from southern Mirkwood arrived daily, making the neighborhood generally more crowded and cluttering up avenues. Even those who hadn't said anything bad about Bilbo before were starting to show their annoyance. "Mr. Bilbo Baggins is starting to get a mite annoying," old Gaffer Gamgee grumbled, standing outside the pub. "Queer goings-on, and no mistake. Why just yesterday a bunch o' pesky Wood-elves dragged their cart right acrost my yard and ruined my taters!" "A bunch of Men from Bree came to my place yesterday and tried to sell me some aluminum siding," mused Old Noakes of Bywater. "They said it was because they had extra after building that horrible Quonset hut over the Party Tree, and they were trying to unload it. Strange folk hereabouts." "Yes, but it's good for the economy," sneered Bill Ferny, the local banker. "A lot more money in circulation. Market's been doing well. Unionization is down because of all the entry-level service positions that are being created. Widening gap between the haves and have-nots, don't you think? Good to find work for idle hands." "And you don't know nothin' about anythin', Ferny," Gaffer Gamgee snapped, echoing the popular community sentiment. "Mr. Bilbo Baggins is a right bastard, as I've often said, and it's small wonder if trouble don't come of him and his imperialist ways. The Revolution's a'comin', and it's the likes o'you who'll be the first ag'inst the wall, so sayeth the Lord." And with that he spat a well-aimed beer-nut into Ferny's glass. At last the day of the Big Party arrived. Everywhere there was too much to eat, and by midafternoon there were broken presents lying all over the Shire attesting to the low quality of their manufacture. Gandalf set off a series of fireworks later on in the day, including great skywriting missiles and little flaming butterflies who took to wing, sailed off into the Eastfarthing and burned all its trees to the ground. The last firework sent up a great black smoke which took the shape of a giant mountain of fire. A flicker could be seen of a giant dragon sailing about its peak; after a moment the great dragon went sailing over the heads of the crowd, causing great panic and consternation and six outright heart attacks before imploding somewhere over the Sackville-Baggins' neighborhood, causing considerable property damage which was never properly repaired generations afterward. "That is the signal for supper!" Bilbo cried out to the survivors, who were only partly mollified. Later on, in the specially-designed quonset hut which Bilbo had built especially for the occasion, all his friends and neighbors were helping themselves to their third helpings of macaroni and cheese and potato salad (the latter laced liberally with what Bilbo called the "traditional secret ingredient", which while not actually a narcotic still had unusual effects, the sum of which were still under scientific inquiry in some circles), Bilbo stood up and motioned for quiet. "A speech! A speech!" some of his neighbors cried out in fear. _My dear Hobbits!_ Bilbo began. There was much cheering at this, as Hobbits on the whole are a rather egocentric lot, and anyway the latest round of potato salad was beginning to kick in. _My dear Bagginses and Bracegirdles, Boffins and Borfledebees, Casmits and Cantankerums, Fassbinders and Fazoolas, Wombats and Wafflefoots._ "WaffleFEET!" cried out an irate old man at the back, in fact the very man who had earned the name when Bilbo's nephew Frodo had accidentally dropped a hot waffle-iron on his feet some years ago. He had borne the Bagginses no ill-will, since the settlement was quite generous. _Waflefoots,_ continued Bilbo, oblivious. _This is my nine hundreth birthday! And though one million years is too short a time to have spent with you all..._ There was some muffled converstaion throughout the hall, which Bilbo took notice of. _Well, on bad days it seems like a million years,_ he explained. _Anyway, though ten billion years is long enough to endure from all of you, this is IT... I am GOING... I am leaving NOW... GoodBYE!_ And with that Bilbo leaped up, tore all his clothes off, scattering them about the astoinished guests' heads, and ran from the great Hut screaming and flailing his arms. Young Frodo looked on in bemusement, refusing to answer questions from the astonished crowd. Everyone knew, of course, that Bilbo was a big man in the community. But - and Frodo looked at the crowd, particularly noting the astonishment on old Lobelia's face - until now, nobody knew just _how_ big. "Well! That's done!" Bilbo laughed, emerging from the bedroom at Bag End freshly dressed. "You know, Gandalf, I've been wanting to do that for as long as I can remember. Now I think this would be an excellent time to leave the Shire, at least before they can all find their torches and axe-handles. Everything stays with Frodo, as we promised." "Including the Ring?" Gandalf asked. "Well, yes, I suppose so," Bilbo replied. He pulled the Ring out from under his cloak, where it hung on a fine golden chain Bilbo had stolen of old from the Brandybucks. "Still, though, I kind of hate to get rid of it." "This seemed to me to be the only thing worthwhile about your whole stupid plan," Gandalf said uncharacteristically. "Put it on the mantel and walk away from it. It has got far too much hold on you. Let it go!" "It's mine! And I shall keep it, I say!" Gandalf raised himself up to his full height. Bilbo's hand reached quietly for the hilt of his sword. "It will be my turn to get angry soon," the wizard intoned. "Listen to me: you must give Frodo the Ring!" Bilbo suddenly laughed. "Oh, _that_?" he grinned. "Well, of _course_ I'm giving him the Ring! I thought you meant the _chain._" Slipping the Ring off the chain he set the circle of gold on the mantel without a second thought. Then he slipped the chain about his neck. "I love this chain. Stole it from old Matuseck Brandybuck back before he went senile. Wouldn't part with it for love nor money. No, I don't give two flies about the Ring. Nothing but trouble, that thing has been. "Well, I'm off, Gandalf! I'm off on the road again, and not a moment too soon by the look of that crowd down there." And taking an old walking-stick from the stand by the door Bilbo went outside, taking a path around the back of the Hill so he could leave unobserved, and as he left he began singing a song quietly to himself: "While often by the door I lie And look upon the mountains' feet And think of rains and hikers' pains And sleeping wetly in the sleet, When darkness' cry does terrify And wilderness encircles you, And being food for goblins' brood Is one choice, and starvation two; Then staying home instead of roam Will have a very great appeal! Forego the Quest! And have a rest! Let Dwarves and Elves and wizards squeal! But since the Shire is filled with ire, And all my neighbors fevers grip, It's plain to see! I must agree! The time has come to take a trip!" Hours later Frodo returned to Bag End, a little glad to have thrown off the pursuit at last. He started at first to discovere someone waiting for him in the living-room, but sighed with relief when he saw it was only Gandalf. "Did he get away?" Frodo asked. "He did," Gandalf replied. "And just at the last, for they were getting ready to set after him with dogs. Luckily he doubled back at the Three-Farthing Stone, as I recommended, or there would be a special bonfire in Tuckborough tonight. Are you well?" "Yes," Frodo replied. "I managed to convince everyone I was uninvolved with the Hay Incident." "Good," Gandalf said. He lit his pipe with a nearby candle and looked at Frodo evenly. "He left things for you on the mantel. The ded to Bag End, a signed statement saying you were only an unwitting accomplice in the Bywater Incident, and-" "The Ring!" Frodo said, looking at the mantel with astonishment. "Has he left me that?" "He has," Gandalf replied, "though you'll have to find a new chain. But if I may counsel you in the use of your own - don't use it! Now or later! It may have other powers besides quick and easy seduction." "I can't believe Bilbo left me the Ring," Frodo gasped. "He used to say that it and a bottle of Westfarthing Chinook was all you needed for the perfect weekend." "Well, lock it up someplace and stay away from it," Gandalf intoned. "No Took-wives, no Elf-virgins, and no real estate deals. And no political aspirations! In the morning I'm off to see if I can learn more about it. In the meantime leave it unused until I return." "I'll, uh, I'll think about that, all right," Frodo blurted, trying hard not to think about the Ring and young Cassiopiea Took. The next morning Gandalf left, leaving Frodo with only his thoughts, his yearnings and a half-empty bottle of Westfarthing Chinook for company. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ohh@netcom.com And now I can pass it on for Chapter Two. Ojevind, would you care to do the honours? :) ###### From: "Öjevind Lång" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Lines: 97 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.5 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3 Message-ID: Date: Sun, 7 May 2000 00:17:17 +0200 NNTP-Posting-Host: 212.151.37.168 X-Complaints-To: news-abuse@swip.net X-Trace: nntpserver.swip.net 957651420 212.151.37.168 (Sun, 07 May 2000 00:17:00 MET DST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sun, 07 May 2000 00:17:00 MET DST Organization: A Customer of Tele2 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!newspeer.te.net!news.indigo.ie!diablo.theplanet.net!newsfeed.icl.net!newsfeed.icl.net!news.algonet.se!algonet!newsfeed1.swip.net!swipnet!nntpserver.swip.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18651 O. Sharp hath written: <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net>... >tulip111@my-deja.com, among others, wrote: >: Eruadan wrote: >:> Just thought you folks might be interested in being on the lookout for >:> someone from this email address <> sending out >:> private emails asking for text files of FOTR. [snip] > >In the interests of furthering cooperation, however, I will be happy to >type in the first chapter. :) > > >----------------------------------------------------------------------- > >THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, Chapter One: A Long-Expected Party. >Copyright (c) 2000 by J.R.R. Tolkien. Anyone who has an interest in >living authors, at least, should illegally copy this anyway because he's >already dead. [snip] >ohh@netcom.com And now I can pass it on for Chapter Two. Ojevind, > would you care to do the honours? :) OK! Here comes CHAPTER TWO THE SHADOW OF THE PAST The talk did not die down in nine or even ninety-nine days. Indeed, the story of Banger Baggins, who used to run around naked at night and ravish young maidens, became a favourite story, not least among those who could lay a claim to belonging to that category. Frodo, however, remained wed to celibacy. He lived alone, as Bilbo had done; but he had a good many friends, especially among the younger hobbits. His closest friends were Pipsqueak Took and Mobster Brandybuck, one of them friendly and willing if somewhat pimply, the other as cold as ice and as ruthless as a society hostess. Frodo enjoyed being his own master and *the* Mr Baggins of Bag End. He lived on quietly, increasing his inherited fortune through wise investments and high-interest loans which earned him the nickname of "Sharkey", until his fiftieth birthday drew near. Then Gandalf turned up again. Frodo welcomed his old friend with surprise and great delight. They looked hard at one another. "You are becming grossly fat, Frodo", said Gandalf. "Luckily, I have some really good exercise in store for you." "You are too kind", murmured Frodo. "Please don't exert yourself on my behalf." "I'm afraid I have to", replied the wizard. "That ring of yours - do you still have it?" "Yes, of course", said Frodo. "I would gladly get rid of it; every time I've tried it on I kept stumbling over my own invisible feet since I could not see them. I wish I had never acepted the pesky thing. Will you not take the the ring, Gandalf!" "No!" cried Gandalf, springing to his feet. "That ring would bugger up my spells completely. No, no, I refuse! But I can give you some advice about how to get rid of it, if you want." "What is that?" demanded Frodo. "Take it to Mordor and drop it in the Cracks of Doom", said Gandalf. "If you don't, Sauron will come and take it. And you don't want him to do that; he gets pissed off at people who have touched his precious ring." He lit a cigar. " But if you put an end to the ring, you off Sauron too. The little dimwit infused so much of himself in the ring that his destruction with it is certain." "But yesterday you told me that Sauron thought the ring had been destroyed." "I did. He thought it had been thrown into the Cracks of Doom, as should have happened. Now, however, he knows that it isn't so" "But how can he have thought any such thing? If the ring had been destroyed he wouldn't have been around; so he should have realized that the ring had not been destroyed." "As I told you, he is a dimwit. He really is incredibly stupid.All the same, there was a scholarly article in *The Minas Tirith Review* about the Ring yesterday, written by the learned Dr Faramir. Sauron must have read that article; he subscribes to an excellent newscutting agency. His emissaries may be on their way to the Shire at this very moment." "I had better leave at once", said Frodo. "I agree", said Gandalf. Suddenly he stopped as if listening. Frodo became aware that all was very quiet, inside and outside. Gandalf crept to one side of the windoiw. Then with a dart he sprang to the sill, and thrust a long arm out as if to catch somebody. Then his movement stopped and he snorted. "No one has been eavesdropping", he said. "Excellent. You'd better leave as soon as possible, Frodo. Take that servant of yours, Sam, with you. He looks like a sturdy lad and might come in useful." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- Steuard, perhaps you would take on doing a digest of Chapter Three? :-) Öjevind ###### From: brahms@mindspring.com (Stan Brown) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: Sat, 6 May 2000 23:49:04 -0400 Organization: Oak Road Systems Lines: 21 Message-ID: References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: a5.79.c1.18 X-Server-Date: 7 May 2000 03:47:30 GMT X-Newsreader: MicroPlanet Gravity v2.10 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18672 Said ohh@netcom.com (O. Sharp) in rec.arts.books.tolkien: >...But it occurs to me that what we _should_ be doing to handle these >situations in the future is write up a complete text version of _LotR_ to >give to everyone who wants a copy. Of course, that means we'd have to >type in the entire book. > >Big job. > >In the interests of furthering cooperation, however, I will be happy to >type in the first chapter. :) Please remember that /LotR/, and all of Tolkien's published works, are under copyright. It is against the law in virtually every country to make a copy of them. -- Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems, Cleveland, Ohio, USA http://www.mindspring.com/~brahms/ Encyclopedia of Arda: http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/default.htm Tolkien FAQs: http://home.uchicago.edu/~sbjensen/Tolkien more FAQs: http://www.mindspring.com/~brahms/faqget.htm ###### Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: sbjensen@midway.uchicago.edu (Steuard Jensen) Lines: 12 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.135.12.7 X-Trace: uchinews 957673943 128.135.12.7 (Sat, 06 May 2000 23:32:23 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 06 May 2000 23:32:23 CDT Organization: The University of Chicago Date: Sun, 07 May 2000 04:32:23 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!howland.erols.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uchinews!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18594 Quoth brahms@mindspring.com (Stan Brown): > Said ohh@netcom.com (O. Sharp) in rec.arts.books.tolkien: > >In the interests of furthering cooperation, however, I will be > >happy to type in the first chapter. :) > Please remember that /LotR/, and all of Tolkien's published works, > are under copyright. It is against the law in virtually every > country to make a copy of them. Stan, Stan... did you _read_ Master Sharp's chapter? :) Fear not... I'm getting in on this, too. :) Steuard Jensen ###### Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: sbjensen@midway.uchicago.edu (Steuard Jensen) Lines: 295 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.135.12.7 X-Trace: uchinews 957680292 128.135.12.7 (Sun, 07 May 2000 01:18:12 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sun, 07 May 2000 01:18:12 CDT Organization: The University of Chicago Date: Sun, 07 May 2000 06:18:12 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.datacomm.ch!newscore.gigabell.net!ptdnetP!newsgate.ptd.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!uchinews!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18589 Quoth "Öjevind Lång" : [Snip Chapter Two] > Steuard, perhaps you would take on doing a digest of Chapter Three? :-) Only too pleased. I hope that this etext will be of use to everyone who looks for one in the future. ----------------------------------------------------------------- CHAPTER THREE THREE IS COMPANY Despite Frodo's resolution to leave at once, he was in truth very reluctant to start, now that it had come to the point. One afternoon two or three weeks after Gandalf's warning (or maybe four, or perhaps just one; Frodo spent most of the days that followed drunk, and rather lost track of time), Frodo went to the wizard for advice. "Gandalf," he asked, voice filled with concern, "I _can't_ just vanish without a trace. After Bilbo's farewell stunt, I'd never be able to look the old hobbit in the eye again if I didn't keep up the family tradition. Like father, like son, you know." Gandalf, confused, said, "Father? What are you talking about? Bilbo was your first and second cousin, once removed either way... I should know, I had to sit through two and a half hours of old Gaffer Gamgee's genealogy lectures at the party. Seating me next to him was one of Bilbo's little jokes." "Oh, well, you know," Frodo fumbled, "Bilbo _did_ have the Ring and all, and my mother was quite comely when she was a lass... the whole thing has been discussed before, though not generally in polite company. I'd rather not talk about it. And anyway, this isn't getting me any closer to an excuse to leave." "Don't worry, Frodo," replied Gandalf. "I thought you might prove to be hesitant, so I've taken some steps of my own to provide for a suitably ignominious departure for you." Just as Frodo gave Gandalf a sharp, suspicious look, a hammering sound came down the hall from the front door. "What in the heavens is that?" cried Frodo. "Unless I miss my guess," Gandalf explained, "those will be your creditors. I took the liberty of closing your bank accounts and taking out a number of short term loans in your name from some of your competitors in the 'Sharkey' business. As I recall, they come due today. Incidentally, I've got to be off to, er, scout out the road ahead, so I'll just slip out and catch up with you later. Look for me in Bree!" And with that, the old wizard dashed off and was gone. Frodo leapt out of his chair in a panic, as the hammering on the door became more insistent. "What have you done with my money?" he yelled in the direction Gandalf had run, but he knew that chasing the wizard would only waste valuable escape time. Fortunately, Pipsqueak and Mobster were visiting for the day, accompanied by Pipsqueak's annoying younger brother Fatty, and Sam was back in the cellar doing some unspecified repairs. Quickly, Frodo rounded up his friends and explained the situation. "The Sackville-Baggins 'family' is here to take everything they can get their grubby hands on," Frodo explained, "and that includes me and all of my friends. We'd better clear out in short order if we don't want to end up at the bottom of Bywater Pool. Quickly, now, run through the hole and grab everything valuable that isn't bolted down: the thought of the Sackville-Bagginses getting a hold of my things makes me sick, and anyway, I'll be broke if we don't pile up some of this loot before we go." Quickly, the five hobbits scattered throughout the hole, filling old pillow cases with whatever they could carry. Frodo had a strong door, but now the pounding gave way to a repeated ramming sound; he knew they didn't have much time. He met Pipsqueak, Mobster, and Fatty in the study as they had agreed: it was on the lefthand side of the hall (going in) like all the best rooms, for these were the only ones to have windows large enough for a desperate hobbit to climb out in an emergency. After a tense minute's delay, Frodo shouted back into the hole. "Sam!" he called. "Sam! Time!" "Coming, sir!" came the answer from far within, followed soon by Sam himself, wiping his mouth. "I was just saying farewell to Rosi--um, the beer-barrel in the cellar." Frodo looked down at Sam's hand. "Give me that Ring," he snapped, as he yanked the ancient artifact off of Sam's finger. With that, they all scrambled out of the window along with their bags of loot. Just at that moment, a great crash came from the hall as the door finally gave way. "Sam," said Frodo once they were outside, "take this key to your father, and tell him to hold on to it. We're going need it when we come back for revenge. Then cut along the Row and meet us as quick as you can at the gate in the lane beyond the meadows. We are not going through the village tonight. Too many ears pricking and eyes prying." Sam ran off at full speed, while Frodo and the others loaded the cart that Mobster had fortunately brought along that morning. The sun went down. Sad and frightening sounds came from within Bag End in the dark, as the Sackville-Bagginses wrecked and looted the place in their search for Frodo. Once the cart had been hastily packed, Frodo sent Mobster and Fatty with it on ahead. Mobster was, as a rule, terrible company on a hike, and Fatty was a hundred times worse. "Sam and Pipsqueak and I will meet you at the safehouse in Crickhollow the day after tomorrow," he said, and they drove away as quietly yet quickly as they could. Frodo looked back at the dark black windows of Bag End, some of which were being smashed out as he watched. One of the windows near the cellar seemed to have a ripped piece of a hobbit lass's dress torn and fluttering on a nail. He waved his hand to his long home. "Good-bye!" he said, and then turned and (following Bilbo, if he had known it) hurried after Pipsqueak down the garden path. Taking the most secret route they knew, they jumped over the low place in the hedge at the bottom and took to the fields, passing into the blessed concealment of darkness like a cattle rustler into the grasses. They met Sam at the gate, and proceeded along the deserted lane for a mile or two, at which point they cut off into the fields to throw off pursuit. After some time they crossed the Water, and made their way toward the hilly country to the south. "Well, I'll say this," remarked Frodo as he looked back into the valley of Hobbiton and back to the Hill, where tiny flames had begun to rise from the vicinity of Bag End, "that _was_ quite an exit. I wonder if I'll ever be able to show my face in that valley again?" Sam and Pipsqueak were walking on ahead exchanging dirty stories, and Frodo's question went unanswered. The three friends walked on and on into the night. Eventually, the moon set, and after Pipsqueak nearly fell into a deep streambed for the third time, the hobbits agreed that they should stop where they were and sleep for the night. Of course, none of them had thought to take any bedding with them on the trip, so they all curled up on top of the tree roots nearby, ignoring the soft, comfortable bed of fir-needles that covered the ground beyond the roots. They set no watch: they had drawn lots, but when Frodo and Sam noticed Pipsqueak cheating they all decided it was a lost cause and went to bed. A few creatures came and looked at them as they slept. A fox passing through the wood on business of his own stopped several minutes and sniffed. "Hobbits!" he thought. "And sleeping out of doors under a tree at that. There's something mighty queer behind this. I'd better head off to tell my friends Bombadil, Gandalf, and Elrond all about it in short order. Good thing I can speak Westron." The next morning came, pale and clammy. The three friends went on walking through the trees, and Frodo began to chant to himself in a low voice: The Road goes ever on and on, and on and on and on and on, and on and on the Road has gone, why did I let *Mobster* drive the cart? Sam and Pipsqueak stopped and gave Frodo an odd look, but when he didn't respond they all went on their way, deeper into the wood. The sun was beginning to get low and the hobbits had just passed into a stand of beech trees when they heard hoofbeats on the road behind them. "Quick!" whispered Frodo, staring back the way they had come. "They must have found our tracks sooner than we thought. Hide behind the trees!" He turned back around, and realized that his friends hadn't needed his advice: they had already run a good ways into the wood and buried themselves under a pile of leaves. Frodo himself only had time to duck behind a nearby statue of a Pukel-man when a tall black horse came into view. On it sat a large black man, wearing a dark, dark grey cloak and hood. When the horse reached the statue level with Frodo it stopped, and the black man started looking from side to side, breathing heavily. A light breeze blew in Frodo's direction, and Frodo caught a whiff of a terrible smell like last Easter's missing egg. He gagged, and the black man stared toward his hiding place and began to climb off of his horse. But at that moment there came a sound like mingled song and laughter. The black man started to tap his foot, then hum along with the music. Finally, he started singing out loud, and then suddenly realized what he was doing. He got an extremely sheepish look on his face, leapt up on his horse, and rode away in utter embarrassment. "Elves!" exclaimed Sam, coming with Pipsqueak to Frodo's side. "Elves, sir!" Frodo nodded, and as the voices drew nearer, their song became clearer: O! What are we doing, And where are we going? We're soon barbecuing! The river is flowing! O! tra-la-la-lally up out of the valley! O! What are we seeking, And where are we making? The faggots are reeking! The bannocks are baking! O! tril-lil-lil-lolly the vally was jolly, ha! ha! Well, okay, not that much clearer, but Elves are like that. Nevertheless, Sam stood enchanted. "Is it true, Mr. Frodo, that Elves have drugs the like of which no mortal has ever known? It certainly sounds like it." Frodo answered, with awe but not without disappointment. "Yes, Sam. These are, indeed, High Elves. Sadly, they share not their precious drugs with outsiders. Still, they can be good company, and they sure throw a great barbecue." As the Elves drew near, Frodo stepped out into the path. "Elen sila lumenn' omentielvo!" he said in his most friendly tones. The Elves appeared confused. "What do you mean, Frodo, that your sister has a wombat through her tea-time?" Frodo cursed under his breath, and swore a silent oath to himself never to trust Bilbo's language lessons again. The Elf went on, "No matter. You look weary and hungry; would you like to come with us to dinner?" "Certainly, good people," replied Frodo greatfully, for the dinner invitations of the High Elves are rare and prized indeed, "but how do you know my name?" "We have watched you long," they laughed, "and your father Bilbo before you." At this, Frodo winced, but they took no notice. "Your adventures with that young Cassiopiea Took were quite amusing, and as for Bilbo, well..." Frodo was now blushing furiously, and the Elves (together with Sam and Pipsqueak) simply laughed again and said no more. They passed on into the night, until they came to a clearing in the wood. In the clearing, there stood a ring of great upright standing stones, connected from top to top with other great stone slabs all around the circle. "Welcome to Sto-wan-hensh, our hall of feasts," said Gildor, the leader of the Elves. "You are fortunate: it is almost time for supper." Even as Gildor spoke, an Elf sighting along two tall stones cried out, "The stars are now in place! It's ten o'clock; soup's on!" Torches and bonfires leapt into life all around the stone circle, and soon the entire company was happily eating barbecued fox and toasted cornbread. A large flat stone in the center of the ring had been scrubbed clean, and was surrounded by blazing fires that heated it almost until it glowed; an Elf was frying bacon on its top. The hobbits tried not to feel disappointed when the High Elves didn't offer them any _miruvor_ when it was passed around, but other than that the evening was perfect. Frodo soon decided to share some of his fears and concerns with Gildor as they ate. "Gildor, what would a black man be doing in the Shire? We were pursued by one today, and he only left when he heard your company approach." "A black man? In the Shire?" said Gildor doubtfully. "I have never heard of such a thing, not since the old days of the Kings and their battles with Angmar. Just about everyone in this part of the world is Caucasian, and that's a fact." "And yet," explained Frodo, "he was there, and I was frightened. I've never been comfortable around minorities." From the background, Pipsqueak spoke up, "Be sure to tell him about the smelling! I'm sure it is very important!" "Well," Frodo said to Gildor, "he did have this awful odor..." Gildor cut Frodo off sharply. "Hold it right there. This story is racist enough as it is; we don't need any comments about 'Black Breath' making it worse." "Right. We'll drop the subject," said Frodo. "Nevertheless, I _am_ pursued, even before I have left the Shire. I am supposed to meet Gandalf in Bree, but I don't know how I'll even make it that far, or what to do if he isn't there. I'm at a loss, I'm frightened, and I'm bearing a terrible burden on which may rest the fate of all Middle-earth. Can you give me any advice?" "No. Yes." said Gildor. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Just a couple of comments on this chapter. First of all, I hope nobody takes the "black rider" comments badly; I figured it would be a good way to parody the "Tolkien is racist" folks. Second, I rather like the idea of making the Elves throughout the parody "_The Hobbit_ type" Elves rather than "LotR type" Elves. Third and finally, I have no idea who else might want to take a turn, so volunteers are welcome. (It might be good to post a quick note claiming the next chapter before you start writing, to try and avoid overlap... though propagation times being what they are that may not help much. Enjoy! Steuard Jensen ###### From: "Öjevind Lång" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Lines: 17 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.5 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3 Message-ID: Date: Sun, 7 May 2000 11:13:48 +0200 NNTP-Posting-Host: 212.151.107.79 X-Complaints-To: news-abuse@swip.net X-Trace: nntpserver.swip.net 957690775 212.151.107.79 (Sun, 07 May 2000 11:12:55 MET DST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sun, 07 May 2000 11:12:55 MET DST Organization: A Customer of Tele2 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!unlisys!news.snafu.de!newsfeedZ.netscum.dQ!netscum.int!news.algonet.se!algonet!newsfeed1.swip.net!swipnet!nntpserver.swip.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18655 Steuard Jensen hath written: >[Snip Chapter Two] >> Steuard, perhaps you would take on doing a digest of Chapter Three? :-) > >Only too pleased. I hope that this etext will be of use to everyone >who looks for one in the future. [snip] Bravo! A bravura chapter! Any would-be ripper-off of Tolkien's estate who makes it through these chapters with his sanity intact would be a superman. Now, as for the writer of Chapter Four - Kent, can't you take it on? Öjevind ###### From: "O. Sharp" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One Date: 8 May 2000 05:33:06 GMT Organization: And Then There's Only Fifty-Seven To Go! Lines: 9 Message-ID: <8f5jii$tha$1@slb7.atl.mindspring.net> References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> <391635CB.7374D5A@worldnet.att.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: c7.b7.09.72 User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-19990517 ("Psychonaut") (UNIX) (SunOS/4.1.4 (sun4m)) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!howland.erols.net!newsfeed.mindspring.net.MISMATCH!news.mindspring.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18733 Kent wrote, regarding Chapter Four: : [...] Gimme a day or two. [...] I, for one, am agog with anticipation. :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ohh@netcom.com And when you're done, I could _swear_ I just saw Mr. Hietbrink volunteering for Chapter Five. :) ###### Message-ID: <391635CB.7374D5A@worldnet.att.net> From: Kent Reply-To: tokent@yahoo.com X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.61 [en] (Win95; I) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Lines: 13 Date: Mon, 08 May 2000 03:34:20 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 63.14.30.27 X-Complaints-To: abuse@worldnet.att.net X-Trace: bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net 957756860 63.14.30.27 (Mon, 08 May 2000 03:34:20 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 08 May 2000 03:34:20 GMT Organization: AT&T Worldnet Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!netnews.com!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!wn4feed!worldnet.att.net!135.173.83.20!wnmasters3!bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18712 "Öjevind Lång" wrote: > Now, as for the writer of Chapter Four - Kent, can't you take it on? > > Öjevind More than happy to. However, I've been gone most of the weekend and need time to catch up with you guys (read your previous chapters, the actual chapter 4, ect.). Gimme a day or two. But don't let my tardiness slow the train...continue on. Perhaps as a respite until I finish, I nominate Hazelnut Whittlewhite to render all poems and songs!! Seconds? Kent ###### From: orius@webtv.net (David Sulger) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: Mon, 8 May 2000 01:03:05 -0400 (EDT) Organization: WebTV Subscriber Lines: 14 Message-ID: <28015-39164A89-78@storefull-256.iap.bryant.webtv.net> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: localhost.webtv.net Mime-Version: 1.0 (WebTV) Content-Type: Text/Plain; Charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit X-WebTV-Signature: 1 ETAsAhRnb2FlS6o7E36YrxGJnCqBv1IbngIUX8YwS7F9xfud3VtDvdZKz5ozi6s= Content-Disposition: Inline Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!newsfeed.stanford.edu!paloalto-snf1.gtei.net!news.gtei.net!webtv.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18693 Steuard Jensen wrote: >It might be good to post a quick note >claiming the next chapter before you >start writing, to try and avoid overlap... >though propagation times being what >they are that may not help much. Oh, I _definitely_ want a crack at this myself. I'd like either Chaper 7 or Chapter 9 (I've been thinking of portraying old Bombadil as some sort of _very_ radical hippie.). --Dave ###### From: brahms@mindspring.com (Stan Brown) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: Mon, 8 May 2000 01:22:57 -0400 Organization: Oak Road Systems Lines: 17 Message-ID: References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: a5.79.c0.5e X-Server-Date: 8 May 2000 05:21:18 GMT X-Newsreader: MicroPlanet Gravity v2.10 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18742 Said brahms@mindspring.com (Stan Brown) in rec.arts.books.tolkien: >>In the interests of furthering cooperation, however, I will be happy to >>type in the first chapter. :) > >Please remember that /LotR/, and all of Tolkien's published works, >are under copyright. It is against the law in virtually every >country to make a copy of them. D'oh! I had thought I only mailed this comment. I was politely corrected, and acknowledged my mistake. But I see I posted, too. My apologies! Copyright violation is a hot-button topic for me, but of course if I had read a couple of sentences I would have realized it was a parody. I reacted WAY too fast. ###### From: the softrat Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: Sun, 07 May 2000 22:55:45 -0700 Organization: Posted via Supernews, http://www.supernews.com Lines: 13 Message-ID: <0mlchsg0g6f52k9hi1koshemubdjidqf4e@4ax.com> References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> X-Complaints-To: newsabuse@supernews.com X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!sn-xit-03!supernews.com!sn-inject-01!news.supernews.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18749 On Mon, 8 May 2000 01:22:57 -0400, brahms@mindspring.com (Stan Brown) wrote: > ...if I had read a couple of >sentences I would have realized it was a parody. You say it's parroty? Whuh kind? the softrat mailto:softrat@pobox.com -- My veal cutlet tried to beat the shit out of my cup of coffee... the coffee just wasn't strong enough to defend himself. (Tom Waits) ###### From: "Öjevind Lång" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien References: <28015-39164A89-78@storefull-256.iap.bryant.webtv.net> Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Lines: 20 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.5 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3 Message-ID: Date: Mon, 8 May 2000 16:23:06 +0200 NNTP-Posting-Host: 212.151.43.29 X-Complaints-To: news-abuse@swip.net X-Trace: nntpserver.swip.net 957795735 212.151.43.29 (Mon, 08 May 2000 16:22:15 MET DST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 08 May 2000 16:22:15 MET DST Organization: A Customer of Tele2 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newscore.univie.ac.at!newsfeed1.uni2.dk!newsfeed1.swip.net!swipnet!nntpserver.swip.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18734 David Sulger hath written: Steuard Jensen wrote: >It might be good to post a quick note >claiming the next chapter before you >start writing, to try and avoid overlap... >though propagation times being what >they are that may not help much. Oh, I _definitely_ want a crack at this myself. I'd like either Chaper 7 or Chapter 9 (I've been thinking of portraying old Bombadil as some sort of _very_ radical hippie.). Splendid! Then perhaps Conrad Dunkerson can take Chapter Six as soon as Kent has written Chapter Four and Bruce Hietbrink Chapter Five? Öjevind ###### Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <28015-39164A89-78@storefull-256.iap.bryant.webtv.net> X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: sbjensen@midway.uchicago.edu (Steuard Jensen) Lines: 30 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.135.12.7 X-Trace: uchinews 957802458 128.135.12.7 (Mon, 08 May 2000 11:14:18 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 08 May 2000 11:14:18 CDT Organization: The University of Chicago Date: Mon, 08 May 2000 16:14:18 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!uchinews!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18849 Quoth "Öjevind Lång" : > Splendid! Then perhaps Conrad Dunkerson can take Chapter Six as soon > as Kent has written Chapter Four and Bruce Hietbrink Chapter Five? This is looking quite promising. :) Just in case they might be interested, I've also dropped lines to David Salo and Bill Hicklin inviting them to contribute chapters (and, if they wish, to come back and help shape the groups in the post-Martinez era). Can anyone think of other old regulars who might like to help? Something we need, though, is for some central person to keep track of who's writing what, so that delays in post propagation don't end up making two people write the same chapter. (Volunteers would then just email that central person, as email propagates faster than news fairly consistently.) I'd be happy to keep a list myself, but I'll defer to O. Sharp or Ojevind if they'd rather be the organizing types. To add a couple of silly administrative suggestions, it might be good to make sure people volunteer for earlier chapters before later ones (for example, don't allow people to claim "The Steward and the King" while we're still working on Book One). Also, just considering the way this is going so far, it's probably not a good idea to write too much before all preceding chapters have been completed, so that you'll at least have the opportunity to remain consistent with what's gone before. Anyway, I don't want to kill the spontaneity of this thing, so I won't really push for any of these suggestions, but they could help to make everything proceed more smoothly as we go. Steuard Jensen ###### From: "O. Sharp" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: 8 May 2000 18:04:53 GMT Organization: So _This_ Is How Dr. Frankenstein Felt! Lines: 62 Message-ID: <8f6vk5$m6g$1@slb7.atl.mindspring.net> References: <28015-39164A89-78@storefull-256.iap.bryant.webtv.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: c7.b7.09.72 User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-19990517 ("Psychonaut") (UNIX) (SunOS/4.1.4 (sun4m)) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!netnews.com!howland.erols.net!newsfeed.mindspring.net.MISMATCH!news.mindspring.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18836 Steuard Jensen wrote, quoting Ojevind Lang (whose name my newsreader mysteriously refuses to post with the accent-marks intact): :> Splendid! Then perhaps Conrad Dunkerson can take Chapter Six as soon :> as Kent has written Chapter Four and Bruce Hietbrink Chapter Five? : : This is looking quite promising. :) Or frightening, depending on how you look at it. :) : Just in case they might be : interested, I've also dropped lines to David Salo and Bill Hicklin : inviting them to contribute chapters (and, if they wish, to come back : and help shape the groups in the post-Martinez era). Now _that_ would be delightful. :) I had hopes, when I started this, that it might serve as a distraction to get our minds off the Late Unpleasantness; if it can also be used as bait to lure back such excellent posters as these, then I'd say it's worked well beyond my wildest hopes! : Something we need, though, is for some central person to keep track of : who's writing what, so that delays in post propagation don't end up : making two people write the same chapter. (Volunteers would then just : email that central person, as email propagates faster than news fairly : consistently.) I'd be happy to keep a list myself, but I'll defer to : O. Sharp or Ojevind if they'd rather be the organizing types. [other worthwhile administrative ideas snipped] Well: the three of us can hash this out via e-mail, I think, and once we know what we're doing everyone can expect to see a post regarding the New Tolkien Transcription Project Administrative Dictator-For-Life[tm]. I'll add one other administrative detail, though: it would probably be worthwhile to have a web-location where previous chapters can be accessed, partly for entertainment but also so later contributors don't have to go dredging through Usenet archives to find them. Naturally, I think the Tolkien Sarcasm Page would be ideal. :) :) :) If any contributors have a problem with this idea, _please_ let me know; in the meantime I'll start preparing an area for it, in the hopes that the idea might not be found to be horrifyingly objectionable. (The site's been long overdue for an update anyway, and I finally have some time to work on it again as well. Perhaps this is just the incentive I needed to actually hurry up and do the damn work. ) : Anyway, I don't want to kill the spontaneity of this thing, so I won't : really push for any of these suggestions, but they could help to make : everything proceed more smoothly as we go. I originally imagined this as being some sort of literary "hot potato": something handled briefly and gingerly, and then thrown to the next unwitting victim. You can imagine my surprise to see people actively _reaching_ for it. :) :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ohh@netcom.com I don't suppose Christopher Tolkien could be induced to write a chapter or two, could he?... Okay, okay, never mind. ###### Reply-To: "Conrad Dunkerson" From: "Conrad Dunkerson" Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien References: <28015-39164A89-78@storefull-256.iap.bryant.webtv.net> Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Lines: 11 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2919.6600 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2919.6600 Message-ID: <6wKR4.44889$PV.3064059@bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net> Date: Tue, 09 May 2000 02:14:26 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 12.78.73.77 X-Complaints-To: abuse@worldnet.att.net X-Trace: bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net 957838466 12.78.73.77 (Tue, 09 May 2000 02:14:26 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 09 May 2000 02:14:26 GMT Organization: AT&T Worldnet Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!bignews.mediaways.net!newsfeed.icl.net!europa.netcrusader.net!207.172.3.37!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!wn4feed!worldnet.att.net!135.173.83.19!wnmasters2!bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18816 "Öjevind Lång" wrote in message news:r4AR4.19131$uJ1.40255@nntpserver.swip.net... > Splendid! Then perhaps Conrad Dunkerson can take Chapter Six as > soon as Kent has written Chapter Four and Bruce Hietbrink Chapter > Five? Thanks Oje (and O. Sharp). I'm swamped at work, but I'll get something put together for Six soon. ###### From: orius@webtv.net (David Sulger) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: Tue, 9 May 2000 01:30:47 -0400 (EDT) Organization: WebTV Subscriber Lines: 17 Message-ID: <15833-3917A287-101@storefull-258.iap.bryant.webtv.net> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: localhost.webtv.net Mime-Version: 1.0 (WebTV) Content-Type: Text/Plain; Charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit X-WebTV-Signature: 1 ETAuAhUAoM1pjLIPT8qOhPEql/AMDArGrRsCFQCe+5ZhaM8Q9GLE6F7801Nltx2E2w== Content-Disposition: Inline Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!netnews.globalip.ch!news-lond.gip.net!news.gsl.net!gip.net!newsfeedZ.netscum.dQ!netscum.int!newsfeed.stanford.edu!paloalto-snf1.gtei.net!news.gtei.net!webtv.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18779 Steuard Jensen wrote: >Can anyone think of other old regulars >who might like to help? Well, I'm a new regular who wants to pitch in. [snipped organization proposals] I was going to suggest some of these things myself, but I saw what suggesting got softrat, so I kept my mouth shut. :) We don't want it to be _too_ organized, since a lot a unexpected twists will make it more interesting, but we also need it to be somewhat coherent as well, which won't be the case if there are too many jarring inconsistancies. --Dave ###### From: orius@webtv.net (David Sulger) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: Tue, 9 May 2000 01:41:11 -0400 (EDT) Organization: WebTV Subscriber Lines: 25 Message-ID: <15833-3917A4F7-103@storefull-258.iap.bryant.webtv.net> References: <8f6vk5$m6g$1@slb7.atl.mindspring.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: localhost.webtv.net Mime-Version: 1.0 (WebTV) Content-Type: Text/Plain; Charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7Bit X-WebTV-Signature: 1 ETAuAhUAujdpO4j87fgKtiZRbGbHONc8wNkCFQDJuB0T6Pk0EOU90YhEFkr6Ner+Rw== Content-Disposition: Inline Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!bignews.mediaways.net!news-x.support.nl!newsfeedZ.netscum.dQ!netscum.int!newsfeed.stanford.edu!paloalto-snf1.gtei.net!news.gtei.net!webtv.net!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18782 O. Sharp wrote: >I'll add one other administrative detail, >though: it would probably be worthwhile >to have a web-location where previous >chapters can be accessed, partly for >entertainment but also so later >contributors don't have to go dredging >through Usenet archives to find them. I was thinking the same thing. Two additional reasons we can add: first, we don't want Deja to mysteriously lose a chapter and mess the whole thing up. Second, we can always use the website to give to people who bug us about e-texts, much like we do with your homework page when people ask us to do their homework for them. >The site's been long overdue for an >update anyway, and I finally have some >time to work on it again as well. That's great! I've been looking forward to some new crackpot theories myself. :) --Dave ###### From: pahis@voimax.cygnnet.jkl.fi (Juho P. Pahajoki) Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Message-ID: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit User-Agent: slrn/0.9.6.2 (Linux) Lines: 24 Date: Tue, 09 May 2000 14:44:48 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 195.165.8.202 X-Trace: read2.inet.fi 957883488 195.165.8.202 (Tue, 09 May 2000 17:44:48 EET DST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 09 May 2000 17:44:48 EET DST Organization: Sonera corp Internet services Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news.algonet.se!newsfeed1.telenordia.se!algonet!newsfeed1.funet.fi!nntp.inet.fi!central.inet.fi!inet.fi!read2.inet.fi.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18773 Se oli Steuard Jensen joka näin lausui, noin nimesi: >around the circle. "Welcome to Sto-wan-hensh, our hall of feasts," No high elf (high or not) would name any place like that! The initial consonant cluster of St is illegal, as well as the final consonant cluster of nsh. Normally quenyan words end in single consonant (t, s, n, l or r) or a vowel. Consonant clusters normally only appear between vowels, never in the beginning or the end. >Just a couple of comments on this chapter. First of all, I hope >nobody takes the "black rider" comments badly; I figured it would be a >good way to parody the "Tolkien is racist" folks. *Nod*, funny enough it was, I think, but the fox scene was a *real* laugh! Thanks for all the laughs for you, Öje and the one who started this (for him specifically). There's never too much laugh in the world. Please keep 'em coming! -- My Balrog flies over the ocean / Bring back, Bring back My Balrog flies over the sea / Oh bring back my Balrog to me, to mee! My Balrog flies over the ocean / Bring back, Bring back Oh bring back my Balrog to me.../ Oh bring back my Balrog to me! ###### Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!not-for-mail From: Neil Franklin Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: 09 May 2000 21:36:28 +0200 Organization: My own Private Self Lines: 15 Message-ID: <6u3dnry0qr.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch> References: <28015-39164A89-78@storefull-256.iap.bryant.webtv.net> <8f6vk5$m6g$1@slb7.atl.mindspring.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: chonsp.franklin.ch X-Trace: chonsp.franklin.ch 957900988 618 10.0.3.2 (9 May 2000 19:36:28 GMT) X-Complaints-To: news@chonsp.franklin.ch NNTP-Posting-Date: 9 May 2000 19:36:28 GMT X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.7/Emacs 20.4 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18850 "O. Sharp" writes: > I originally imagined this as being some sort of literary "hot potato": > something handled briefly and gingerly, and then thrown to the next > unwitting victim. You can imagine my surprise to see people actively > _reaching_ for it. :) :) And so O. Shauron created the literary ring. :-) -- Neil Franklin, neil@franklin.ch.remove http://neil.franklin.ch/ Nerd, Geek, Hacker, Unix Guru, Sysadmin, Roleplayer, LARPer, Mystic Use a WIMP (Windows Icons Mouse Pulldowns) interface - or get one with a CLUE (Command Line User Environment)? ###### From: Douglas Henderson Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) Date: Tue, 09 May 2000 15:44:05 -0400 Organization: MindSpring Enterprises Lines: 18 Message-ID: <39186A85.F5E26531@mindspring.com> References: <28015-39164A89-78@storefull-256.iap.bryant.webtv.net> <8f6vk5$m6g$1@slb7.atl.mindspring.net> <6u3dnry0qr.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch> NNTP-Posting-Host: a5.79.40.84 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Server-Date: 9 May 2000 19:44:47 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.72 [en] (Win95; U) X-Accept-Language: en Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!dca1-hub1.news.digex.net!intermedia!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!firehose.mindspring.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18871 Neil Franklin wrote: > > "O. Sharp" writes: > > > I originally imagined this as being some sort of literary "hot potato": > > something handled briefly and gingerly, and then thrown to the next > > unwitting victim. You can imagine my surprise to see people actively > > _reaching_ for it. :) :) > > And so O. Shauron created the literary ring. :-) > > -- > Neil Franklin, neil@franklin.ch.remove http://neil.franklin.ch/ > Nerd, Geek, Hacker, Unix Guru, Sysadmin, Roleplayer, LARPer, Mystic > Use a WIMP (Windows Icons Mouse Pulldowns) interface - > or get one with a CLUE (Command Line User Environment)? Wait a minute, are you saying he spoke out of it? ###### Message-ID: <3918DFE6.AE524C16@worldnet.att.net> From: Kent Reply-To: tokent@yahoo.com X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.61 [en] (Win95; I) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Lines: 7 Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 04:04:39 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 63.14.32.75 X-Complaints-To: abuse@worldnet.att.net X-Trace: bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net 957931479 63.14.32.75 (Wed, 10 May 2000 04:04:39 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 04:04:39 GMT Organization: AT&T Worldnet Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!bignews.mediaways.net!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!wn3feed!worldnet.att.net!wnmasters2!bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18885 "Öjevind Lång" wrote: > Now, as for the writer of Chapter Four - Kent, can't you take it on? Posted as a new topic way down below..... ###### Message-ID: <39197BAD.3A739AF9@po-box.mcgill.ca> From: Carl Blondin X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.72 [en] (Win98; I) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Lines: 17 Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 15:09:01 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 198.168.182.206 X-Complaints-To: abuse@mcgill.ca X-Trace: carnaval.risq.qc.ca 957971341 198.168.182.206 (Wed, 10 May 2000 11:09:01 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 11:09:01 EDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed2.onemain.com!feed1.onemain.com!news-out.cwix.com!newsfeed.cwix.com!sunqbc.risq.qc.ca!carnaval.risq.qc.ca.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18876 "Juho P. Pahajoki" wrote: > Se oli Steuard Jensen joka näin lausui, noin nimesi: > >around the circle. "Welcome to Sto-wan-hensh, our hall of feasts," > > No high elf (high or not) would name any place like that! The initial > consonant cluster of St is illegal, as well as the final consonant > cluster of nsh. Normally quenyan words end in single consonant (t, s, > n, l or r) or a vowel. Consonant clusters normally only appear between > vowels, never in the beginning or the end. It's that long forgotten appendix of quenyan that just resurfaced...;-p Carl ###### Message-ID: <39197E3D.BB18C993@po-box.mcgill.ca> From: Carl Blondin X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.72 [en] (Win98; I) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 31 Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 15:19:58 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 198.168.182.206 X-Complaints-To: abuse@mcgill.ca X-Trace: carnaval.risq.qc.ca 957971998 198.168.182.206 (Wed, 10 May 2000 11:19:58 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 11:19:58 EDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newscore.univie.ac.at!newsfeed1.uni2.dk!news.algonet.se!algonet!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!sunqbc.risq.qc.ca!carnaval.risq.qc.ca.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18874 "O. Sharp" wrote: > > > > I didn't get a copy. I'm so sad. :) > > ...But it occurs to me that what we _should_ be doing to handle these > situations in the future is write up a complete text version of _LotR_ to > give to everyone who wants a copy. Of course, that means we'd have to > type in the entire book. > > Big job. > > In the interests of furthering cooperation, however, I will be happy to > type in the first chapter. :) But what about the Hobbit? omething has to be done about it.... It'll feel left out if nothing is done... Carl ###### Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> <39197E3D.BB18C993@po-box.mcgill.ca> X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: sbjensen@midway.uchicago.edu (Steuard Jensen) Lines: 11 Message-ID: <0ofS4.14$v3.397@uchinews> NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.135.12.7 X-Trace: uchinews 957973116 128.135.12.7 (Wed, 10 May 2000 10:38:36 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 10:38:36 CDT Organization: The University of Chicago Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 15:38:36 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!uchinews!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18925 Quoth Carl Blondin : > But what about the Hobbit? omething has to be done about > it.... It'll feel left out if nothing is done... I tell ya what: we'll follow Peter Jackson's lead and produce LotR first, and then go back and do _The Hobbit_ if we've still got some momentum going. Once we get through _Silm._, _then_ we can rest. :) But wait... did I just hear you volunteering to contribute a chapter to our LotR? Let me know... Steuard Jensen ###### Message-ID: <3919AAF3.DB9F5849@po-box.mcgill.ca> From: Carl Blondin X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.72 [en] (Win98; I) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.books.tolkien Subject: Re: Book One (was: Text Files of LOTR) References: <8es42o$39l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8es6j9$678$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8f1sub$aqe$1@nntp9.atl.mindspring.net> <39197E3D.BB18C993@po-box.mcgill.ca> <0ofS4.14$v3.397@uchinews> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 23 Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 18:30:41 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 198.168.191.38 X-Complaints-To: abuse@mcgill.ca X-Trace: carnaval.risq.qc.ca 957983441 198.168.191.38 (Wed, 10 May 2000 14:30:41 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 14:30:41 EDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!news1.sunrise.ch!news.imp.ch!sunqbc.risq.qc.ca!carnaval.risq.qc.ca.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch rec.arts.books.tolkien:18879 Steuard Jensen wrote: > Quoth Carl Blondin : > > But what about the Hobbit? omething has to be done about > > it.... It'll feel left out if nothing is done... > > I tell ya what: we'll follow Peter Jackson's lead and produce LotR > first, and then go back and do _The Hobbit_ if we've still got some > momentum going. Once we get through _Silm._, _then_ we can rest. :) > > But wait... did I just hear you volunteering to contribute a chapter > to our LotR? Let me know... Yes I did, I just have to get hold of my books. I unofficially have moved to my girlfriend's so everything is quite unordered as of now. However, if I get my books soon enough, I wouldn't mind introducing Lego-lass, unless someone already has this chapter (Council of Elrond IIRC). Carl