From: "vYv" Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Laws of computer programming Lines: 63 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1409 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1409 Message-ID: Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 09:42:11 -0400 NNTP-Posting-Host: 67.68.20.142 X-Complaints-To: abuse@sympatico.ca X-Trace: news20.bellglobal.com 1087393046 67.68.20.142 (Wed, 16 Jun 2004 09:37:26 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 09:37:26 EDT Organization: Bell Sympatico Path: nightfall.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!irazu.switch.ch!switch.ch!ecngs!feeder2.ecngs.de!news-out2.kabelfoon.nl!83.128.0.10.MISMATCH!newsfeed.kabelfoon.nl!news3.optonline.net!newsfeed.telusplanet.net!newsfeed.telus.net!cyclone.bc.net!news-in.mts.net!nf1.bellglobal.com!nf2.bellglobal.com!news20.bellglobal.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: nightfall.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:176529 Greetings I have a large mug found in a local junk shop that I thought might be of interest to this group. It is dated 1980/82, is backgrounded with green and white horizontal stripes (of the kind I remember seeing on computer printouts from the time), and is covered with various computery proverbs of a humourous (but true) nature. The text, formatted with leading numbers and all in capitals (here I have used lower case letters) follows: 01 Laws of computer programming 03 Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 03 If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 03 If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 03 Any program will expand to fill any available memory. 03 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 03 Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer to maintain it. 03 Make it possible for programmers to write in english and you will find out that programmers cannot write in english. 01 Weinberg's law 03 If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. 01 Hare's law of large programs 03 Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out. 01 Troutman's programming laws 03 If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction. 03 Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error be discovered. 03 Job control cards that cannot be arranged in improper order will be. 03 Interchangeable tapes won't. 03 If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it. 03 Machines work, people should think. 01 Golub's laws of computerdom 03 A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; A carefully planned project will take only twice as long. 03 The effort required to correct the error increases geometrically with time. 01 Bradley's bromide 03 If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee - that will do them in. There is also a border surrounding this that contains names of various languages: ASSEMBLER, BASIC, CULPRIT, ABACUS, APG11, PL1, COBOL, FORTRAN, ALGOL, APL. All in all, a nostalgic and insperational(?) mug. I like to use it as I sit at my computer occasionally reading a random verse. Any comments or stories? In particular, two of the languages are completely unfamiliar to me, CULPRIT and ABACUS. Many of the laws I've seen in some form elsewhere, but many were new to me. Enjoy vYv ###### Message-ID: <40D08F71.5070808@comcast.net> From: J Ahlstrom User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Win98; en-US; rv:0.9.4.1) Gecko/20020508 Netscape6/6.2.3 X-Accept-Language: en-us MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Laws of computer programming References: Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 46 NNTP-Posting-Host: 24.6.148.54 X-Complaints-To: abuse@comcast.net X-Trace: attbi_s53 1087409948 24.6.148.54 (Wed, 16 Jun 2004 18:19:08 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 18:19:08 GMT Organization: Comcast Online Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 18:19:08 GMT Path: nightfall.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!switch.ch!news.imp.ch!news.imp.ch!209.11.36.156.MISMATCH!nntp-server.pubsub.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!border2.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!wns13feed!worldnet.att.net!attbi_s53.POSTED!53ab2750!not-for-mail Xref: nightfall.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:176566 vYv wrote: > Greetings > I have a large mug found in a local junk shop that I thought might > be of > interest to this group. It is dated 1980/82, is backgrounded with green and > white horizontal stripes (of the kind I remember seeing on computer > printouts from the time), and is covered with various computery proverbs of > a humourous (but true) nature. The text, formatted with leading numbers and > all in capitals (here I have used lower case letters) follows: > 01 Laws of computer programming > 03 Any given program, when running, is obsolete. > 03 If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. > 03 If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. > 03 Any program will expand to fill any available memory. > 03 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. > 03 Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the > programmer to maintain it. > 03 Make it possible for programmers to write in english and you will find > out that programmers cannot write in english. > 01 Weinberg's law > 03 If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then > the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. --snip snip > vYv I believe that what you are calling Weinberg's Law is really due to Hoare. The Weinberg's law that I like is (paraphrased) "If it doesn't have to work, I can make it as small and fast as you want." JKA ###### Message-ID: <40D08F90.6000209@comcast.net> From: J Ahlstrom User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Win98; en-US; rv:0.9.4.1) Gecko/20020508 Netscape6/6.2.3 X-Accept-Language: en-us MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Laws of computer programming References: Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 46 NNTP-Posting-Host: 24.6.148.54 X-Complaints-To: abuse@comcast.net X-Trace: attbi_s53 1087409979 24.6.148.54 (Wed, 16 Jun 2004 18:19:39 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 18:19:39 GMT Organization: Comcast Online Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 18:19:39 GMT Path: nightfall.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!irazu.switch.ch!switch.ch!newsfeed00.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!border2.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!wns13feed!worldnet.att.net!attbi_s53.POSTED!53ab2750!not-for-mail Xref: nightfall.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:176568 vYv wrote: > Greetings > I have a large mug found in a local junk shop that I thought might > be of > interest to this group. It is dated 1980/82, is backgrounded with green and > white horizontal stripes (of the kind I remember seeing on computer > printouts from the time), and is covered with various computery proverbs of > a humourous (but true) nature. The text, formatted with leading numbers and > all in capitals (here I have used lower case letters) follows: > 01 Laws of computer programming > 03 Any given program, when running, is obsolete. > 03 If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. > 03 If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. > 03 Any program will expand to fill any available memory. > 03 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. > 03 Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the > programmer to maintain it. > 03 Make it possible for programmers to write in english and you will find > out that programmers cannot write in english. > 01 Weinberg's law > 03 If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then > the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. --snip snip > vYv I believe that what you are calling Weinberg's Law is really due to Hoare. The Weinberg's law that I like is (paraphrased) "If it doesn't have to work, I can make it as small and fast as you want." JKA ###### From: iddw@hotmail.com (Dave Hansen) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Laws of computer programming Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 20:13:34 GMT Lines: 18 Message-ID: <40d0a9b7.546938525@News.individual.net> References: <40D08F71.5070808@comcast.net> X-Trace: news.uni-berlin.de ujFmaAUh87kC5oHPNLunRguotn/0VztivFUodVFA8qIJboFyc= X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.21/32.243 Path: nightfall.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!switch.ch!news.imp.ch!news.imp.ch!fu-berlin.de!uni-berlin.de!not-for-mail Xref: nightfall.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:176584 On Wed, 16 Jun 2004 18:19:08 GMT, J Ahlstrom wrote: [...] > >The Weinberg's law that I like is (paraphrased) > "If it doesn't have to work, I can make it > as small and fast as you want." > I'd always heard it "Optimization is easy if you don't have to get the right answer." Regards, -=Dave -- Change is inevitable, progress is not. ###### From: "John Homes" Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Laws of computer programming Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 08:24:25 +1200 Organization: EDS New Zealand Limited Lines: 10 Message-ID: References: NNTP-Posting-Host: dhcp-134-251-235-16.dhcp.nz.eds.com X-Trace: hermes.nz.eds.com 1087417467 18824 134.251.235.16 (16 Jun 2004 20:24:27 GMT) X-Complaints-To: news@hermes.nz.eds.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 20:24:27 +0000 (UTC) X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1409 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1409 Path: nightfall.franklin.ch!pfaff2.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!irazu.switch.ch!switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeeds.ihug.co.nz!ihug.co.nz!newsfeed01.tsnz.net!news.eds.co.nz!news.nz.eds.com!not-for-mail Xref: nightfall.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:176595 "vYv" wrote in message news:q2Yzc.29253$7H1.1112443@news20.bellglobal.com... > 03 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. I think there should be an "inversely" in there somewhere. John Homes.