Sender: lynn@LYNNPC Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <9g2iim$dtd$1@top.mitre.org> <3b24deec@news.ihot.com> Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler From: Anne & Lynn Wheeler Message-ID: Organization: Wheeler&Wheeler Lines: 46 User-Agent: Gnus/5.0808 (Gnus v5.8.8) Emacs/20.6 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 15:57:06 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 199.174.228.147 X-Complaints-To: abuse@earthlink.net X-Trace: newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net 992275026 199.174.228.147 (Mon, 11 Jun 2001 08:57:06 PDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 08:57:06 PDT X-Received-Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 08:55:03 PDT (newsmaster1.prod.itd.earthlink.net) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeed00.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!newscore.gigabell.net!news0.de.colt.net!colt.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.skycache.com!Cidera!netnews.com!newsfeed2.earthlink.net!newsfeed.earthlink.net!newsmaster1.prod.itd.earthlink.net!newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83324 "Jim Mehl" writes: > Joe, glad you enjoyed it. That same box in my garage has some other > gems, which I will try to scan and clean up as I find the time.Just looking > at the titles we have "The Rime of the Ancient Programmer", "The Ballad > of the 1401", and "The Moment 'Fore Abend". THE CONDEMNED * WHEN THE EARTH WAS CREATED, THE POWERS ABOVE GAVE EACH MAN A JOB TO WORK AT AND LOVE. HE MADE DOCTORS AND LAWYERS AND PLUMBERS AND THEN - HE MADE CARPENTERS, SINGERS, AND CONFIDENCE MEN. AND WHEN EACH HAD A JOB TO WORK AS HE SHOULD, HE LOOKED THEM ALL OVER AND SAW IT WAS GOOD. * HE THEN SAT DOWN TO REST FOR A DAY, WHEN A HORRIBLE GROAN CHANCED TO COME IN HIS WAY. THE LORD THEN LOOKED DOWN, AND HIS EYES OPENED WIDE - FOR A MOTLEY COLLECTION OF BUMS STOOD OUTSIDE. "OH! WHAT CAN THEY WANT?" THE CREATOR ASKED THEN "HELP US," THEY CRIED OUT, "A JOB FOR US MEN." "WE HAVE NO PROFESSION," THEY CRIED IN DISMAY, "AND EVEN THE JAILS HAVE TURNED US AWAY." SAID THE LORD, "I'VE SEEN MANY THINGS WITHOUT WORTH - BUT HERE I FIND GATHERED THE SCUM OF THE EARTH!" * THE LORD WAS PERPLEXED - THEN HE WAS MAD. FOR ALL THE JOBS, THERE WAS NONE TO BE HAD! THEN HE SPAKE ALOUD IN A DEEP, ANGRY TONE --- "FOR EVER AND EVER YE MONGRELS SHALL ROAM. YE SHALL FREEZE IN THE SUMMER AND SWEAT WHEN ITS COLD - YE SHALL WORK ON EQUIPMENT THATS DIRTY AND OLD. YE SHALL CRAWL UNDER RAISED FLOORS, AND THERE CABLES LAY - YE SHALL BE CALLED OUT AT MIDNIGHT AND WORK THROUGH THE DAY. YE SHALL WORK ON ALL HOLIDAYS, AND NOT MAKE YOUR WORTH - YE SHALL BE BLAMED FOR ALL DOWNTIME THAT OCCURS ON THE EARTH. YE SHALL WATCH ALL THE GLORY GO TO SOFTWARE AND SALES - YE SHALL BE BLAMED BY THEM BOTH IF THE SYSTEM THEN FAILS. YE SHALL BE PAID NOTHING OUT OF SORROW AND TEARS - YE SHALL BE FOREVER CURSED, AND CALLED FIELD ENGINEERS!" * -- Anne & Lynn Wheeler | lynn@garlic.com - http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ ###### From: jmfbahciv@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned Date: Tue, 12 Jun 01 09:44:09 GMT Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc. Lines: 14 Message-ID: <9g51b0$4ao$2@bob.news.rcn.net> References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <9g2iim$dtd$1@top.mitre.org> <3b24deec@news.ihot.com> <3b250079@news.ihot.com> X-Trace: UmFuZG9tSVbGDCrrjXpCpx6LphpjGYSGfGIgApVmZpZ6K4yRhHzIwh02OOwn90a3 X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 12 Jun 2001 12:18:40 GMT X-Newsreader: News Xpress Version 1.0 Beta #4 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.imp.ch!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed2.news.rcn.net!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!207-172-255-235 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83288 In article <3b250079@news.ihot.com>, "Jim Mehl" wrote: > >"Anne & Lynn Wheeler" wrote in message >news:ug0d72eol.fsf_-_@earthlink.net... >> YE SHALL WATCH ALL THE GLORY GO TO SOFTWARE > >Umm, all the glory goes to Software. I think I missed out somewhere along >the line. Yea. The hardware types got the glory. /BAH Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail. ###### From: "Jim Mehl" Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 10:31:43 -0700 Organization: The Diamond Lane Lines: 11 Message-ID: <3b250079@news.ihot.com> References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <9g2iim$dtd$1@top.mitre.org> <3b24deec@news.ihot.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: news9.ihot.com X-Trace: news.tdl.com 992280670 24426 63.169.216.10 (11 Jun 2001 17:31:10 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@tdl.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 17:31:10 +0000 (UTC) X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.50.4522.1200 X-MIMEOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.50.4522.1200 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 63-175-47-199-modem.o1.com Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeed00.sul.t-online.de!newsfeed01.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!fr.clara.net!heighliner.fr.clara.net!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news.he.net!news.tdl.com!news.ihot.com!63-175-47-199-modem.o1.com Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83398 "Anne & Lynn Wheeler" wrote in message news:ug0d72eol.fsf_-_@earthlink.net... > YE SHALL WATCH ALL THE GLORY GO TO SOFTWARE Umm, all the glory goes to Software. I think I missed out somewhere along the line. Jim Mehl ###### From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned Date: 12 Jun 2001 13:32:45 GMT Organization: The MITRE Corporation Lines: 11 Message-ID: <9g55lt$al2$1@top.mitre.org> References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <9g2iim$dtd$1@top.mitre.org> <3b24deec@news.ihot.com> Reply-To: jcmorris@mitre.org NNTP-Posting-Host: jmorris-pc.mitre.org X-Trace: top.mitre.org 992352765 10914 128.29.251.13 (12 Jun 2001 13:32:45 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@news.mitre.org NNTP-Posting-Date: 12 Jun 2001 13:32:45 GMT X-Newsreader: NN version 6.5.0 (NOV) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!news-lei1.dfn.de!newsfeed00.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!colt.net!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!howland.erols.net!portc.blue.aol.com.MISMATCH!portc03.blue.aol.com!uunet!dca.uu.net!news.tufts.edu!blanket.mitre.org!news.mitre.org!jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG!jcmorris Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83272 Anne & Lynn Wheeler writes: > THE CONDEMNED [snip] Sigh. Now I'm going to have to dig through my pile of 30-year-old notes to see if I can locate SYSGENISYS -- the Creation story, written in JCL. Unless someone else here can find it first... Joe Morris ###### From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned Date: 12 Jun 2001 14:10:29 GMT Organization: The National Capital FreeNet Lines: 13 Message-ID: <9g57sl$14$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <9g2iim$dtd$1@top.mitre.org> <3b24deec@news.ihot.com> <9g55lt$al2$1@top.mitre.org> Reply-To: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) NNTP-Posting-Host: freenet10 X-Trace: freenet9.carleton.ca 992355029 36 134.117.136.30 (12 Jun 2001 14:10:29 GMT) X-Complaints-To: complaints@ncf.ca NNTP-Posting-Date: 12 Jun 2001 14:10:29 GMT X-Given-Sender: ab528@freenet10.carleton.ca (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!news-koe1.dfn.de!news-was.dfn.de!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.skycache.com!Cidera!news-reader.ntrnet.net!news.onramp.ca!xcski.com!freenet-news!FreeNet.Carleton.CA!ab528 Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83322 Joe Morris (jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG) writes: > Anne & Lynn Wheeler writes: > >> THE CONDEMNED > [snip] > > Sigh. Now I'm going to have to dig through my pile of 30-year-old notes > to see if I can locate SYSGENISYS -- the Creation story, written in JCL. > > Unless someone else here can find it first... Umm, give us a clue. Probably can make up a new version before you find the original. ###### From: idr@hep.ucl.ac.uk (Dr Ivan D. Reid) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned Date: 12 Jun 2001 15:37:34 GMT Organization: news.ukrm.org - surprisingly, not as crap as you'd think. Lines: 26 Message-ID: References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <9g2iim$dtd$1@top.mitre.org> <3b24deec@news.ihot.com> <9g55lt$al2$1@top.mitre.org> <9g57sl$14$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> Reply-To: idr@hep.ucl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Host: 212.18.228.90 X-Trace: fu-berlin.de 992356769 7530065 212.18.228.90 (16 [21183]) X-Orig-Path: news.ukrm.org!idr User-Agent: slrn/0.9.6.3 (OSF1) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeed00.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!newscore.gigabell.net!fu-berlin.de!uni-berlin.de!212.18.228.90!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83370 On 12 Jun 2001 14:10:29 GMT, Heinz W. Wiggeshoff wrote in <9g57sl$14$1@freenet9.carleton.ca>: >Joe Morris (jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG) writes: >> Anne & Lynn Wheeler writes: >>> THE CONDEMNED >> [snip] >> Sigh. Now I'm going to have to dig through my pile of 30-year-old notes >> to see if I can locate SYSGENISYS -- the Creation story, written in JCL. >> Unless someone else here can find it first... > Umm, give us a clue. Probably can make up a new version before > you find the original. That's what AltaVista is for: http://www.allegedlyfunny.com/earth.html or http://avalon.nf.ca/~pralph/techy/genesis.html -- Ivan Reid, Physics & Astronomy, University College London. idr@hep.ucl.ac.uk GSX600F, RG250WD. "You Porsche. Me pass!" DoD #484 JKLO# 003, 005 WP7# 3000 LC Unit #2368 (tinlc) UKMC#00009 BOTAFOT#16 UKRMMA#7 (Hon) KotPT -- "for stupidity above and beyond the call of duty". ###### From: Steve O'Hara-Smith Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2001 19:40:01 +0200 Organization: Wanadoo NL Lines: 15 Message-ID: <20010612194001.4e1e2a50.steveo@eircom.net> References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <9g2iim$dtd$1@top.mitre.org> <3b24deec@news.ihot.com> <3b250079@news.ihot.com> <9g51b0$4ao$2@bob.news.rcn.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: p338.vcu.wanadoo.nl Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: scavenger.euro.net 992371733 25696 194.134.200.230 (12 Jun 2001 18:48:53 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@wanadoo.nl NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2001 18:48:53 +0000 (UTC) X-Newsreader: Sylpheed version 0.4.99cvs3 (GTK+ 1.2.10; i386-unknown-freebsdelf4.3) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeed00.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!skynet.be!newsgate.cistron.nl!news2.euro.net!news.euronet.nl!ams-gw.sohara.org!nobody Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83353 On Tue, 12 Jun 01 09:44:09 GMT jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote: > >Umm, all the glory goes to Software. I think I missed out somewhere along > >the line. > > Yea. The hardware types got the glory. Times have changed - it doesn't get past marketing these days :) -- Directable Mirrors - A Better Way To Focus The Sun http://www.best.com/~sohara ###### From: cbh@ieya.co.REMOVE_THIS.uk (Chris Hedley) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2001 21:51:40 +0100 Organization: All yuor pie are belong to us!! Message-ID: References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <3b250079@news.ihot.com> <9g51b0$4ao$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <20010612194001.4e1e2a50.steveo@eircom.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: teabag.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: teabag.demon.co.uk:193.237.4.110 X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 992379306 nnrp-12:22193 NO-IDENT teabag.demon.co.uk:193.237.4.110 X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test75 (Feb 13, 2001) Originator: cbh@ieya.co.REMOVE_THIS.uk (Chris Hedley) Lines: 10 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!dispose.news.demon.net!news.demon.co.uk!demon!teabag.demon.co.uk!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83432 According to Steve O'Hara-Smith : > Times have changed - it doesn't get past marketing these days :) Ever since I've been in the industry it's always been split three ways between the least deserving parties: sales, marketing and senior management. Chris. -- //USENET01 JOB (CBH,ISA),'TALKING BOLLOCKS',REGION=4000K,CLASS=F, // MSGCLASS=A,PASSWORD=WIBBLE,USER=CBH,COND=(04,LT) ###### Sender: lynn@LYNNLT Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Ancient computer humor - The Condemned References: <3b223ca0@news.ihot.com> <3b250079@news.ihot.com> <9g51b0$4ao$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <20010612194001.4e1e2a50.steveo@eircom.net> Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler From: Anne & Lynn Wheeler Message-ID: Organization: Wheeler&Wheeler Lines: 16 User-Agent: Gnus/5.0803 (Gnus v5.8.3) Emacs/20.6 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2001 14:23:02 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.245.2.85 X-Complaints-To: abuse@earthlink.net X-Trace: newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net 992442182 209.245.2.85 (Wed, 13 Jun 2001 07:23:02 PDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2001 07:23:02 PDT X-Received-Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2001 07:21:01 PDT (newsmaster1.prod.itd.earthlink.net) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.tesion.net!news.belwue.de!news-stu1.dfn.de!news-mue1.dfn.de!news-was.dfn.de!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.skycache.com!Cidera!netnews.com!newsfeed2.earthlink.net!newsfeed.earthlink.net!newsmaster1.prod.itd.earthlink.net!newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:83442 cbh@ieya.co.REMOVE_THIS.uk (Chris Hedley) writes: > Ever since I've been in the industry it's always been split three ways > between the least deserving parties: sales, marketing and senior management. i just finished boyd's biography ... and there is this part where he is giving advice to somebody about what do they want to do with their life ... you can either be a "doer" or a "take credit for doing" (not entirely original ... shows up many other places). random refs: http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/subtopic.html#boyd -- Anne & Lynn Wheeler | lynn@garlic.com, http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/