From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 00 10:45:56 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
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In article 
<slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.
com>,
   The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com () wrote:
>
>I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
>actually witnessed.
<snip>

And we used the confusions as feedback and changed our manuals.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 11 Dec 00 00:30:13 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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In article <bruceNS+usenet3-58E279.23174210122000@news.jump.net>
bruceNS+usenet3@fanboy.net (Bruce Tomlin) writes:

>In article <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>,
>djim55@boingdatasync.com wrote:
>
>>   I worked for a university as tech support for 7 years. I had calls
>> from PhDs who did things like edit command.com with edlin, put 3.5
>       ^^^^
>
>Obviously related to PHBs.  And both probably got that way from too
>much exposure to PCBs.

They must be MBAs.

Oh no, the TLAs are coming!  Quick, get out your Allan Sherman
song books and sing along:

    Harvey's a CPA
    He works for IBM
    He went to MIT
    And got his Ph.D...

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 11 Dec 00 11:47:36 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
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In article <910k7b$ijt$1@pc.tampabay.rr.com>,
   eben@pc.tampabay.rr.com (Hactar) wrote:
<snip>

>An employee put a CD + caddy (the ordinary caddy type, not the weird ones
>described elsewhere in this thread) into a CD drive _backward_.  (On these
>caddies, there are two overlapping pieces of plastic that catch on 
something
>within the drive when in that orientation.)  I had to dismantle the drive
>to get the caddy out.
>
Well, we were old farts and brought up to fear for our lives if
we didn't remove all casings before inserting mountable devices.
When JMF decided he had to have a CD drive on this system, it
took us a good long time to figure out that the damn caddy was
a necessary piece of equipment.  RTFM?  Hah!  WFM?

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
Organization: Daedalus Consulting
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test72 (19 April 1999)
From: don@news.daedalus.co.nz (Don Stokes)
Message-ID: <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz>
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<The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com> wrote:
>I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
>actually witnessed.

I think the claim that tech support stories are urban legends is itself
a legend.

For example, a book I have about urban legends claims as false a story
about a someone calling tech support because their computer not working
and when asked to check if it was plugged in getting a flashlight to
check something because the power was off.  But a few years ago I took a
report from one of our a remote sites that all their terminals were
down, found that the comms appeared from our end to have failed and got
our comms tech to report the fault to the phone co. 

Later on I checked up on what was happening. "The phone co says there's
no power," he said. "What," I asked, "to the NTU?".  "Nah, to the
building."

*Everyone* who has done tech support at any level for long enough and
with a sufficiently large and non-techie user base has a little stock of
"stupid user" stories that they've witnessed first hand.  The story
about the power is just the one I found funniest; I have plenty more,
and that doesn't include reports from colleagues that I have no reason
to doubt.

There are so many people out there being asked to deal with technology
that they find complex and unfamiliar that it's inevitable that many
will react in ways that that even slightly technically adept people will
find surprising, irritating or just plain funny. 

So sure, the phrasing of some of these stories may have been embellished
a little over time for comic effect, but I doubt that many of these are
not essentially true.  

-- don

######

From: "John Seeliger" <jseelige1@prodigy.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 10 Dec 2000 02:50:07 GMT
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Don Stokes <don@news.daedalus.co.nz> wrote in article
<976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz>...
> <The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com> wrote:
> >I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
> >actually witnessed.
> 
> I think the claim that tech support stories are urban legends is itself
> a legend.

One of my favorites is the guy who tried to fax something by putting it up
to his screen and pressing the send button.  But I have to wonder how many
of the classics actually happened, unless they happened as the result of a
"stupid" user playing a joke on a tech support person, perhaps as a copycat
for a story they previously heard.

######

From: Tony Lima <TonyLima@ms.spacebbs.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: Tony Lima Associates
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On Sat, 09 Dec 2000 20:02:30 GMT,
The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com () wrote:

>
>I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
>actually witnessed.
>
>The popular one I can think of is mistaking the CDROM disk tray for a coffee
>cupholder.
>
>My favorite one is the moron stuffing a 5.25" drive with install disks
>cumulatively instead of removing the prior disk:  "I put the first disk in like
>it said.... I put the second one in like it said... I had trouble with the third
>one... and I couldn't get the fourth disk in the drive."

A company I once worked for had a client in Florida. The
client's office was struck by lightning.  The customer made
the following comment: "But I had the system plugged into a
surge protector." - Tony

######

From: jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 10 Dec 2000 05:35:49 -0500
Organization: Jeff's House of Electronic Parts
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>My favorite one is the moron stuffing a 5.25" drive with install disks
>cumulatively instead of removing the prior disk:  "I put the first disk in like
>it said.... I put the second one in like it said... I had trouble with the third
>one... and I couldn't get the fourth disk in the drive."

*blush* I personally suffered a similar instance,
but due to lack of help and a poorly designed CD-ROM drive.

It was around 1990 and I had never used a Mac's CD drive before.
This was the design where the caddy had an alternating action:
- insert the caddy with CD
The cd with inner holder clicked into the drive,
the now empty outer sleeve was pulled out.
- insert the empty sleeve in the drive.
The CD with inner holder would engage into the sleeve and get pulled out.
[I'd give an analogy if I could think of anything that uses such an
alternate action.  Pressing a pen cap does not fully convey the
capture/release action of this CD drive]

Well, nobody was in the library to help me, there were no notes about this
peculiar CD holder.  CDs were on the table in the usual jewel cases,
some with no cases, and some in these strange caddies.
There was no "eject" button since ejecting the CD ment
inserting an empty sleeve to pull out the CD.

Well, I wound up inserting a bare CD with one already in the drive,
and had to use an index card to slide it back out.



I've pulled apart several PCs with floppies stuck inside to attest to
people inserting floppies in the slot under or between drives!
-- 
Jeffrey Jonas
jeffj@panix(dot)com
The original Dr. JCL and Mr .hide

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 10 Dec 2000 11:12:37 -0000
Organization: The Linux Emporium
Message-ID: <90vof5$736$1@polo.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70397

In article <90vma5$opl$1@panix3.panix.com>, Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com> wrote:
[snip]
>I've pulled apart several PCs with floppies stuck inside to attest to
>people inserting floppies in the slot under or between drives!

A certain UK bank (which shall be nameless) used to have IBM XTs in front
of the bandit screen.  Most of the time these were unattended and ran
a password-protected attract screen advertising bank services.  A regular
field service activity was opening them up to remove all the coins from
the motherboard.

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 10 Dec 2000 12:22:13 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <90vshl$1u7$1@teabag.cbhnet>
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In article <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@c298344-a.arvada1.co.home.com>,
	The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com () writes:
> I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
> actually witnessed.

This one's true: at a former employer, one of our engineers was called
out to fix a problem at one of the main admin sites; one of the secretaries
was unable to use her terminal and had some urgent correspondance to sort
out.  So the engineer zoomed over there on a high-priority call only to
find that the comms cable had been unplugged.  Upon quesioning said
secretary, she said she'd removed it because it was in the way and didn't
look too important.

DUH!!

The same jinxed engineer's also been called out for such technical
jiggery-pokery as turning up the brightness control on the front of
people's screen and other similarly mundane things.

Chris.

######

From: eben@pc.tampabay.rr.com (Hactar)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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In article <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>,
 <The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com> wrote:
>
>I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
>actually witnessed.

Some that really happened to me were:

Some customer put a CD into a 5.25" floppy drive.  Either that or the
extraction scratched the CD, and may have damaged the head (but I don't
know) on the drive.

An employee put a CD + caddy (the ordinary caddy type, not the weird ones
described elsewhere in this thread) into a CD drive _backward_.  (On these
caddies, there are two overlapping pieces of plastic that catch on something
within the drive when in that orientation.)  I had to dismantle the drive
to get the caddy out.

-- 
-eben             eben@gate.net           http://home.tampabay.rr.com/hactar/
CAPRICORN:  The stars say you're an exciting and wonderful person... but you
know they're lying.  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never
never never leave my house again.  -- Weird Al, _Your Horoscope for Today_

######

From: goughtr@email.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2000 19:58:54 +0000
Organization: Customer of Energis Squared
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<snip>
> *Everyone* who has done tech support at any level for long enough and
> with a sufficiently large and non-techie user base has a little stock of
> "stupid user" stories that they've witnessed first hand.  The story
> about the power is just the one I found funniest; I have plenty more,
> and that doesn't include reports from colleagues that I have no reason
> to doubt.
> 

My favorite embellishment on the power story is the tech support guy who
informs the user that the computer needs to be sent back to
manufacturer.  The customer asks, "Is it that serious then?", and gets
the answer, "No, but you're too f***ing stupid to use a computer!".  The
story continues with the techie getting sacked.
-- 
http://www.guild.bham.ac.uk/chess-club

######

From: goughtr@email.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2000 20:03:26 +0000
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> I've pulled apart several PCs with floppies stuck inside to attest to
> people inserting floppies in the slot under or between drives!

One that I had to do recently (I don't think it was the user's fault,
but who knows?) was remove the metal portion of a 3.5 inch diskette from
a drive!

-- 
http://www.guild.bham.ac.uk/chess-club

######

From: djim55@datasync.com (D.J.)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2000 22:40:07 GMT
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  I worked for a university as tech support for 7 years. I had calls
from PhDs who did things like edit command.com with edlin, put 3.5
inch floppies in upside down, or put 5.25 inch floppies in sideways.
Or the one who told us he was a computer expert, and tried to install
Mac software, this was in 1992, on an IBM AT compatible because they
both had 3.5 inch floppy drives.

One of the other guys had three students who, he posted about this in
here about 1991 when it happened, put 5.25 inch floppies into 3.5 inch
drives. The first one folded it. After he finished explaining to that
one just how bad of an idea that was, the next two used scissors to
trim theirs to fit. All three filed a complaint against him. After my
boss finished laughing at their errors he pointed out it was their
mistake, nodody else's. Their hmework and term papers were gone, that
was their fault.

I presently work as helpdesk/telephone support for another employer
with various locations calling in with quesitons about their dumb
terminals and computers. Just this past September and October, three
people called in who couldn't log in. One of them felt that if the
square box/round lights up on the walls were on, the battery powered
emergency lights, they should be able to log in. There was no power in
that building... The other two tried to log into terminals that were
turned off. The sad ones are the users who can't spell their own name,
and the as/400 shuts off their login after the third login failure.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 7, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: "Jack Peacock" <peacock@simconv.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
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<The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com> wrote in message
news:slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.c
o.home.com...
>
> I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a
phonetechie
> actually witnessed.
>
This may not be particularly dumb but it was highly unusual.  And true,
since I was the guy that answered the call.  Several years ago I got an
emergency call on Jan. 1st from a major casino in Las Vegas.  Their cage
system (cashier terminals to track money and chips to/from table games)
had crashed and had to be repaired immediately due to some legal
requirements.

I headed downtown with images of a smoking ruin, since every terminal
was down including the redundant computers.  As soon as I get into the
casino cage the problem was all too obvious.  This particular year Jan
1st, the busiest day of the year in Las Vegas, fell on a Sunday, when
armored car services are closed.  The casino literally had so much cash
their vault wouldn't hold it, so they were storing bags of $20 and $100
bills inside the cage until the banks opened.  You guessed it, the
computers were completely buried under bags of money, blocking all
ventilation.  They had shut down from overheating.  After moving about
half a million dollars to the other side of the cage operation was
restored.  It had to be one of the most "expensive" user problems I ever
encountered.
    Jack Peacock

######

Sender: root@fdn.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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goughtr@email.com writes:

> One that I had to do recently (I don't think it was the user's fault, but
> who knows?) was remove the metal portion of a 3.5 inch diskette from a
> drive!

Well, if you think of it as the user's fault being buying cheap crappy
floppies.  

I've had experience with quite a few floppies with the metal shutter
spreading with use until it gets stuck in a drive, and yeah, I was the guy
who had to come around and commence surgery on the drive.  Seeing as I now
have an expensive digital camera where it would be $$$ to get fixed if the
floppy drive went west, these are banned around me and I only use the
floppies with the plastic shutters.  I've also noticed less read faults
with these floppies.  Anybody else notice this?

It's fun to try to explain this to a Radio Shack type, though.  Sort of.

-gc

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 01:57:45 GMT
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gcash <gcash@fdn.com> wrote:
>goughtr@email.com writes:

>> One that I had to do recently (I don't think it was the user's fault, but
>> who knows?) was remove the metal portion of a 3.5 inch diskette from a
>> drive!

>Well, if you think of it as the user's fault being buying cheap crappy
>floppies.  

>I've had experience with quite a few floppies with the metal shutter
>spreading with use until it gets stuck in a drive, and yeah, I was the guy
>who had to come around and commence surgery on the drive.  Seeing as I now
>have an expensive digital camera where it would be $$$ to get fixed if the
>floppy drive went west, these are banned around me and I only use the
>floppies with the plastic shutters.  I've also noticed less read faults
>with these floppies.  Anybody else notice this?

I don't think that's right.

After playing hunt the formattable floppy for around an hour (I have
a stock of floppy disks, about the newest of which is OS2/warp, and going
back to when windows 386 was new) I've come to the conclusion that these
are at the end of their life. A new box formats fine.
The primary cause of disk drive stickage IME is disks that have been 
stooden on, or rolled over on a chair.
If you notice this before you insert the floppy, it's trivial to rip off
the cover, and then copy the disk, but otherwise, it needs either a fine
screwdriver to push the cover against the disk, while pulling slightly on it, 
or dissasembly.

-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
"Give a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set him on fire, and he's warm
for the rest of his life"                           -- Terry Pratchett-Jingo

######

From: Dick Perron <dperr@gw.total-web.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2000 22:32:14 -0500
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How about the old saw of " I can't find the ANY key!!"

Another was, tech supports ask user to  "Put floppy in the A: drive and close the
door (of the drive)." Customer response was to load a floppy then cross the room and
tech hears a door slam.

The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com wrote:

> I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
> actually witnessed.
>
> The popular one I can think of is mistaking the CDROM disk tray for a coffee
> cupholder.
>
> My favorite one is the moron stuffing a 5.25" drive with install disks
> cumulatively instead of removing the prior disk:  "I put the first disk in like
> it said.... I put the second one in like it said... I had trouble with the third
> one... and I couldn't get the fourth disk in the drive."
>
> --
>
> Remove 'wakawaka' and 'invalid' to e-mail me.  You can thank spammers for this
> inconvenience.
>
> I didn't do it!  Nobody saw anything!  You can't prove anything! -- bart

--

Dick Perron   dperr@gw.total-web.net
http://www.gw.total-web.net/~dperr/pc_hdwe.htm

Bless the beasts and children for they have no voice and they have no choice....

######

From: Bruce Tomlin <bruceNS+usenet3@fanboy.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2000 23:16:17 -0600
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In article <976499865.15279.0.nnrp-12.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>, Ian 
Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am> wrote:

> If you notice this before you insert the floppy, it's trivial to rip off
> the cover, and then copy the disk, but otherwise, it needs either a fine
> screwdriver to push the cover against the disk, while pulling slightly on 

I've had a bit of experience in mailing 3.5" floppies, and I learned the hard 
way that you do NOT simply put one in an envelope and seal it shut.  The 
automated postal equipment may very likely crush the end of the metal shutter 
to the point where it will stick.

######

From: Bruce Tomlin <bruceNS+usenet3@fanboy.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2000 23:17:42 -0600
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In article <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>, djim55@boingdatasync.com 
wrote:

>   I worked for a university as tech support for 7 years. I had calls
> from PhDs who did things like edit command.com with edlin, put 3.5
       ^^^^

Obviously related to PHBs.  And both probably got that way from too much 
exposure to PCBs.

######

From: xarph+usenet@blueneptune.com (Lord Xarph and his Orchestra)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 07:31:35 GMT
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On 10 Dec 2000 05:35:49 -0500, jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
>It was around 1990 and I had never used a Mac's CD drive before.
>This was the design where the caddy had an alternating action:
>- insert the caddy with CD
>The cd with inner holder clicked into the drive,
>the now empty outer sleeve was pulled out.
>- insert the empty sleeve in the drive.

<delurk>
Sounds more like an RCA selectavision CED player than a CD-ROM drive.
</delurk>

-Lx?

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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'68 M Y++ L++ KQ C c- B p- Sh-- S(York City) R(HG4)
<goughtr@email.com> wrote in message news:3A33E18E.8F517A3A@email.com...
>
> > I've pulled apart several PCs with floppies stuck inside to attest to
> > people inserting floppies in the slot under or between drives!
>
> One that I had to do recently (I don't think it was the user's fault,
> but who knows?) was remove the metal portion of a 3.5 inch diskette from
> a drive!
>

I once had a collegue who was not to bright - not the sort of person cut out
to work in first line support. We only employed him for 3 weeks.

He was once asked to lable some DAT tapes for the weekly backups, and insert
the tape into the drive. The following day I had to dismantle the tape
drive - he had somehow managed to fasten the label across the shutter of the
DAT tape, causing it to jam when inserted. He'd done that to the whole batch
of tapes.

He also was asked to insert a pair of SIMMs into a workstation. Whilst doing
this he somehow managed to expose the silicon of one of the support ICs on
the motherboard. I didn't want to know how he did that.

######

From: Chris Baird <abuse@brushtail.apana.org.au>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Chris Hedley,
 > The same jinxed engineer's also been called out for such technical
 > jiggery-pokery as turning up the brightness control on the front of
 > people's screen and other similarly mundane things.

I've seen my share of companies that gleefully charge $100 p/h with a
2-hour minimum for these calls...

-- 
Chris,,

######

From: hj@pp.htv.fi (Herbie Jurvanen)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70592

In <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>, D.J. wrote:

>The sad ones are the users who can't spell their own name, and the as/400
>shuts off their login after the third login failure.

Forgive me for being dense, but if they can't spell their name right (and
are thus presumably misspelling their login), then how does the machine know
which account to suspend?


Herbie J.
Recklessly Provocative

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 11 Dec 2000 23:19:41 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <913ned$jgo$1@teabag.cbhnet>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
    <90vqot$84s$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>
    <slrn93akis.mga.hj@claire.two-wugs.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70475

In article <slrn93akis.mga.hj@claire.two-wugs.net>,
	hj@pp.htv.fi (Herbie Jurvanen) writes:
> Forgive me for being dense, but if they can't spell their name right (and
> are thus presumably misspelling their login), then how does the machine know
> which account to suspend?

ISTR it'll be quite happy to suspend the terminal if an account's not
available...

Chris.

######

From: "The Night Stalker" <seeking_a_cert@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <arUY5.242$Ci5.21672@news1.primary.net>
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70594

Now *thats* a cool story!

Stalker Steve, MCP

######

From: djim55@cheesydatasync.com (D.J.)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 04:16:18 GMT
Organization: Tycho Crater Ice Cream Parlour
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hj@pp.htv.fi (Herbie Jurvanen) wrote:
[]In <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>, D.J. wrote:
[]
[]>The sad ones are the users who can't spell their own name, and the as/400
[]>shuts off their login after the third login failure.
[]
[]Forgive me for being dense, but if they can't spell their name right (and
[]are thus presumably misspelling their login), then how does the machine know
[]which account to suspend?

  It shuts off that specific terminal not the login. Sorry, I
misworded that.

If they actually do have access, their manager has to call me to
vary the terminal back on.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 3, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: john@ucc.gu.uwa.edu.au (John "West" McKenna)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 13 Dec 2000 02:32:05 +0800
Organization: University Computer Club
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70582

Chris Baird <abuse@brushtail.apana.org.au> writes:

> > The same jinxed engineer's also been called out for such technical
> > jiggery-pokery as turning up the brightness control on the front of
> > people's screen and other similarly mundane things.

>I've seen my share of companies that gleefully charge $100 p/h with a
>2-hour minimum for these calls...

And quite rightly so.  If a customer reports a problem, you have to send an
engineer out.  This engineer needs to be paid, be supplied with a car or
van, petrol, test equipment, insurance, and so on.  There's travel time,
paperwork, invoicing, chasing up customers who are a bit slow to pay...
whether the actual work is 30 seconds of changing a fuse or 2 hours
replacing chips or whatever really doesn't make much difference.

John

######

Message-ID: <3A36E4E5.3ABC29F4@ev1.net>
Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 18:54:28 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Charlie Gibbs wrote:
> 
> In article <bruceNS+usenet3-58E279.23174210122000@news.jump.net>
> bruceNS+usenet3@fanboy.net (Bruce Tomlin) writes:
> 
> >In article <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>,
> >djim55@boingdatasync.com wrote:
> >
> >>   I worked for a university as tech support for 7 years. I had calls
> >> from PhDs who did things like edit command.com with edlin, put 3.5
> >       ^^^^
> >
> >Obviously related to PHBs.  And both probably got that way from too
> >much exposure to PCBs.
> 
> They must be MBAs.
> 
> Oh no, the TLAs are coming!  Quick, get out your Allan Sherman
> song books and sing along:
> 
>     Harvey's a CPA
>     He works for IBM
>     He went to MIT
>     And got his Ph.D...
> 
Yeah, yeah...and they joined the PTA and the GOP, etc.

"Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila..."

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: Brian Inglis <Brian.dot.Inglis@SystematicSw.ab.ca>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 21:51:39 -0700
Organization: Systematic Software
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On Sat, 09 Dec 2000 20:02:30 GMT,
The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com () wrote:

>I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
>actually witnessed.

Geophysical tech had a SUN SPARCstation with internal 1/2GB boot
drive and a couple of 9GB drives mirrored in an external
enclosure with its own power supply and fans. The tech calls
complaining he's trying to finish an important project and can't
access his seismic data. 

Field support guy comes out to investigate and finds guy didn't
like the noise of the fans, so he tucked it away on the shelf
under his desk with layers of foam around it as sound insulation.
Power supplies and hard drives are fried. Replacement hardware
took about an hour. But it then took about 36 hours to reload his
9GB drive from a weeks worth of DLT tapes in a jukebox with four
drives. 

We changed the backup streams after that to keep each client
workstation's data together on the same tape volumes, instead of
written on whichever volume was least busy, to reduce the restore
times at the expense of somewhat longer backup times. 

Thanks. Take care, Brian Inglis 	Calgary, Alberta, Canada
-- 
Brian_Inglis@CSi.com 	(Brian dot Inglis at SystematicSw dot ab dot ca)
				use address above to reply

######

From: gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 16:53:33 GMT
Organization: Deja.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70643

In article <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz>,
  don@news.daedalus.co.nz (Don Stokes) wrote:
> <The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com> wrote:
> >I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
> >actually witnessed.
>
> I think the claim that tech support stories are urban legends is itself
> a legend.

You're forgetting that some urban legends are true.

In order to be an UL, a story may be true or false, but it must have
something in it that resignates with our times and causes it to be told and
retold and faxxed and emailed over and over.

Did I ever tell you the one about the cup holder?


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

######

From: Jim Esler <James.E.Esler@cdc.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 11:43:28 -0600
Organization: Syntegra (USA) Inc.
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gnohmon8715@my-deja.com wrote:
> 
> In article <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz>,
>   don@news.daedalus.co.nz (Don Stokes) wrote:
> > <The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@invalid.pobox.com> wrote:
> > >I wonder how many dumb user stories are folklore and which a phonetechie
> > >actually witnessed.
> >
> > I think the claim that tech support stories are urban legends is itself
> > a legend.
> 
> You're forgetting that some urban legends are true.
> 
> In order to be an UL, a story may be true or false, but it must have
> something in it that resignates with our times and causes it to be told and
> retold and faxxed and emailed over and over.

Not sure what the word "resignates" means.  "resignation", "resign" and
"resigned" are listed in the dictionary as noun, verb and adjective
forms of a similar root, but don't help in decoding your meaning.  With
a bit of a stretch, I would guess you intended to use "resonates"
metaphorically.

> Did I ever tell you the one about the cup holder?

Like in today's Sally Forth comic strip?
-- 
Jim Esler
P.S. Standard Disclaimer: I work for them, but I don't speak for them.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 14 Dec 00 10:54:13 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
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 <90vma5$opl$1@panix3.panix.com>
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In article <918qa3$7fk$1@teabag.cbhnet>,
   cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley) wrote:
>In article <24nf3tcikcpbt642sqaor29cet7c65m0tp@4ax.com>,
>	Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu> writes:
>> Actually, most oldish external DEC (Sony) CD drives were like that.
>
>I hated those things.  It was almost impossible to push in both of the
>clips (extremely badly designed for fingers) to release the CD carrier
>from the caddy in order to change the CD.

Wow!  You can do it with your fingers?

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: andyl@azaal.dircon.co.uk (Andy Leighton)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 12 Dec 2000 21:36:39 GMT
Organization: Andy Leighton
Message-ID: <slrn93d6j7.dbt.andyl@azaal.dircon.co.uk>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>    <90vqot$84s$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>    <slrn93akis.mga.hj@claire.two-wugs.net> <913ned$jgo$1@teabag.cbhnet>
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On 11 Dec 2000 23:19:41 GMT, 
     Chris Hedley <cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <slrn93akis.mga.hj@claire.two-wugs.net>,
>	hj@pp.htv.fi (Herbie Jurvanen) writes:
>> Forgive me for being dense, but if they can't spell their name right (and
>> are thus presumably misspelling their login), then how does the machine know
>> which account to suspend?
>
>ISTR it'll be quite happy to suspend the terminal if an account's not
>available...

Then presumably the poor luser moves to the terminal next door.
Repeat until bored.

-- 
Andy Leighton => andyl@azaal.dircon.co.uk
"... January is your third most common month for madness" - _Sarah Canary_

######

From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: Rockefeller University Hospital (GCRC), New York
Message-ID: <24nf3tcikcpbt642sqaor29cet7c65m0tp@4ax.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <90vma5$opl$1@panix3.panix.com> <3a348296.26931405@news.blueneptune.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70773

On Mon, 11 Dec 2000 07:31:35 GMT, xarph+usenet@blueneptune.com (Lord Xarph and
his Orchestra) wrote:

>On 10 Dec 2000 05:35:49 -0500, jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
>>It was around 1990 and I had never used a Mac's CD drive before.
>>This was the design where the caddy had an alternating action:
>>- insert the caddy with CD
>>The cd with inner holder clicked into the drive,
>>the now empty outer sleeve was pulled out.
>>- insert the empty sleeve in the drive.
>
><delurk>
>Sounds more like an RCA selectavision CED player than a CD-ROM drive.
></delurk>

Actually, most oldish external DEC (Sony) CD drives were like that.

-- 
[ When replying, remove *'s from address ]
Alexandre Pechtchanski, Systems Manager, RUH, NY

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 13 Dec 2000 21:39:15 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <918qa3$7fk$1@teabag.cbhnet>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70722

In article <24nf3tcikcpbt642sqaor29cet7c65m0tp@4ax.com>,
	Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu> writes:
> Actually, most oldish external DEC (Sony) CD drives were like that.

I hated those things.  It was almost impossible to push in both of the
clips (extremely badly designed for fingers) to release the CD carrier
from the caddy in order to change the CD.

Chris.

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 14 Dec 2000 12:09:24 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <91ad9k$2h7$2@teabag.cbhnet>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70721

In article <91acpi$9fo$1@bob.news.rcn.net>,
	jmfbahciv@aol.com writes:
> Wow!  You can do it with your fingers?

Yes, but I tended to have clip-shaped imprints on them for ages afterwards...

Chris.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 00 12:50:05 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 24
Message-ID: <91d7v2$n8j$5@bob.news.rcn.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI> <3A39FC3B.E51F468C@planet.nl> <91cvnd$8eu$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70844

In article <91cvnd$8eu$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>,
   "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> > > Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
>> > > and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
>> > > almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a legendary
>> > > story, whether or not it ever happened.
>> >
>> > FWIW, I have seen that happen.
>> >
>>
>> We (Dutch) saw it happen on a TV newsflash some two years ago, when our
>> Prime Minister Wim Kok tried to demonstrate his computer literacy.
>>
>> He failed to mention inventing the internet, though
>
>I once saw a catalogue for office supplies. On the front was a shot of
>someone's hand, holding a mouse. They were holding it back-to-front, with
>the mouse buttons under the palm.

That is the only sane way to use the User Device From Hell.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 00 12:49:08 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 15
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70845

In article <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI>,
   Janne Rinta-Manty <jrm@iki.fi> wrote:
>gnohmon8715 2000-12-14T19:15:39Z:
>> Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
>> and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
>> almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a legendary
>> story, whether or not it ever happened.
>
>FWIW, I have seen that happen.
>
It's in a lot of TV commercials.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 00 12:47:02 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 21
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70851

In article <91ad9k$2h7$2@teabag.cbhnet>,
   cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley) wrote:
>In article <91acpi$9fo$1@bob.news.rcn.net>,
>	jmfbahciv@aol.com writes:
>> Wow!  You can do it with your fingers?
>
>Yes, but I tended to have clip-shaped imprints 
>on them for ages afterwards...

That must be why I never manage without coloring my
sky blue.  I find it painful just to press my fingers
against a flat surface.  

There's got to be a really good joke in this similar
to the one about a happy motorcyclist (he's got bugs
in his teeth).

/BAH


Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 00 11:36:46 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 35
Message-ID: <91fo1t$2hk$5@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70852

In article <91dd1c$q7$1@polo.demon.co.uk>,
   john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters) wrote:
>In article <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com>,  <gnohmon8715@my-deja.com> 
wrote:
>>In article <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com>,
>>  James.E.Esler@cdc.com wrote:
>>> Not sure what the word "resignates" means
>>
>>Sorry, I was trying to sound Presidential.
>>
>>These stupid user stories are so repetitive in their way, but I always 
enjoy
>>lurking and reading the thread.
>>
>>Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse and 
pointed
>>it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it almost seems like I 
saw
>>it myself -- and that makes it a legendary story, whether or not it ever
>>happened.
>
>I've had a user who couldn't move the mouse.  She'd put her hand on it
>and then sit there saying, "I can't move it" in a desperate sort of way.
>It took her quite a while for her to learn to translate the desired
>motion of the mouse pointer on the screen into physical motion of the
>mouse on the desk.  So much for intuitive.

Now that's really interesting.  I wonder if she was allowed to
play with blocks or balls when she was really little.  ISTR
that hand-eye coordination is really difficult to teach 
and learn after age 5 or so.  

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 00 12:48:09 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 28
Message-ID: <91d7rd$n8j$3@bob.news.rcn.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70853

In article <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com>, gnohmon8715@my-deja.com wrote:
>In article <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com>,
>  James.E.Esler@cdc.com wrote:
>> Not sure what the word "resignates" means
>
>Sorry, I was trying to sound Presidential.
>
>These stupid user stories are so repetitive in their way, but I always 
enjoy
>lurking and reading the thread.
>
>Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse and 
pointed
>it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it almost seems like I 
saw
>it myself -- and that makes it a legendary story, whether or not it ever
>happened.
>

It was in a Star Trek movie.

/BAH

>
>Sent via Deja.com
>http://www.deja.com/

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 00 11:25:22 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 23
Message-ID: <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70859

In article <1b4s0563zh.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>,
   Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> wrote:
>jmfbahciv@aol.com writes:
>> 
>> It was in a Star Trek movie.
>
>No, he tried to use it for a microphone. 

Right.  That was step one.  Then didn't he try pointing
at the screen for step two?

> It was when he started
>typing that the scene got *really* funny.

Hmmm...I don't remember that being *really* funny, though I do
remember laughing.  Did I miss something?  I do remember that
Scotty acted like an engineer.  Note that most of the
movie is a haze behind a curtain in my brain.

/BAH


Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 00 11:33:26 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 32
Message-ID: <91fnrl$2hk$4@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70860

In article <3A3ACA14.E1879D11@ev1.net>,
   Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:
>> In article <91cvnd$8eu$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>,
>>    "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> >> > > Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
>> >> > > and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
>> >> > > almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a 
legendary
>> >> > > story, whether or not it ever happened.
>> >> >
>> >> > FWIW, I have seen that happen.
>> >> >
>> >>
>> >> We (Dutch) saw it happen on a TV newsflash some two years ago, when 
our
>> >> Prime Minister Wim Kok tried to demonstrate his computer literacy.
>> >>
>> >> He failed to mention inventing the internet, though
>> >
>> >I once saw a catalogue for office supplies. On the front was a shot of
>> >someone's hand, holding a mouse. They were holding it back-to-front, 
with
>> >the mouse buttons under the palm.
>> 
>I have heard of a woman that thought the mouse was a foot pedal, like a 
>sewing machine has. 

I never thought to use my foot.  What a good idea.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 00 11:31:58 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 38
Message-ID: <91fnot$2hk$3@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70862

In article <3a3b0bf9.302612@news.shuswap.net>,
   genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) wrote:
>Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke)
>wrote:
>
>>On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 16:34:54 GMT, John Ferrell
>><johnferrell@sprintmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>I have a trackball on my machine. It is always fun to watch a guest try
>>>to push it around on the desk...
>>
>>I have a trackball that I use with my left hand, and so I've reversed
>>the functions of the buttons.  That really drives people nuts.  They
>>reach across the keyboard to use their right hand, and even though
>>they know the buttons are reversed, the right-click menus keep popping
>>up.  
>>
>>Of course, when I use someone else' computer, the shoe is on the other
>>hand.
>>
>>I'm not left-handed, by the way.  I just use my trackball that way.
>>It leaves my right hand free for the keypad and writing.
>
>     Whatever works.
>
>     I *am* left-handed.  I use a right-handed mouse.  That lets me
>mouse with my right hand and jot notes with my left.  What do you
>right-handers do?

Create a blue atmosphere.  One of these days, I'm going to
get kicked out of the library :-).  Their systems have mice,
Windows, and very short mouse pads.  Just those three 
cause webbitting to be a traumatic experience.  I only
do it every three weeks or so.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2000 19:15:39 GMT
Organization: Deja.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70801

In article <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com>,
  James.E.Esler@cdc.com wrote:
> Not sure what the word "resignates" means

Sorry, I was trying to sound Presidential.

These stupid user stories are so repetitive in their way, but I always enjoy
lurking and reading the thread.

Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse and pointed
it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it almost seems like I saw
it myself -- and that makes it a legendary story, whether or not it ever
happened.


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

######

Message-ID: <3A3962CF.D146C427@ev1.net>
Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2000 16:16:14 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70941

Charlie Gibbs wrote:
> 
> In article <bruceNS+usenet3-58E279.23174210122000@news.jump.net>
> bruceNS+usenet3@fanboy.net (Bruce Tomlin) writes:
> 
> >In article <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>,
> >djim55@boingdatasync.com wrote:
> >
> >>   I worked for a university as tech support for 7 years. I had calls
> >> from PhDs who did things like edit command.com with edlin, put 3.5
> >       ^^^^
> >
> >Obviously related to PHBs.  And both probably got that way from too
> >much exposure to PCBs.
> 
> They must be MBAs.
> 
> Oh no, the TLAs are coming!  Quick, get out your Allan Sherman
> song books and sing along:
> 
>     Harvey's a CPA
>     He works for IBM
>     He went to MIT
>     And got his Ph.D...
> 

Harvey And Sheila 

(Parody of "Hava Nagila") 

Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila,
Oh, the day they met.
Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila,
No one will forget.
Harvey's a CPA.
He works for IBM.
He went to MIT and got his PhD.
Sheila's a girl I know,
At B.B.D.& O.
She works the PBX,
And makes out the checks. 

Then came one great day when
Harvey took the elevator,
Sheila got in two floors later,
Soon they both felt they were falling,
Everyone heard Sheila calling,
"Ring the bell,"
But they fell.
Harv and Sheila fell in love. 

Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila,
Chose a wedding ring.
Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila,
Married in the spring.
She shopped at A & P.
He bought a used MG.
They sat and watched TV
On their RCA.
Borrowed from HFC,
Bought some AT&T,
And on election day, worked for JFK. 

Then they went and got a
Charge-A-Plate from R.H. Macy,
Bought a layette, pink and lacy,
Then they had twin baby girls,
Both with dimples, both with curls,
One named Bea,
One named Kay,
Soon they joined the PTA. 

Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila,
Moved to West LA.
Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila,
Flew TWA.
They bought a house one day,
Financed by FHA.
It had a swimming pool, full of H2O.
Traded their used MG
For a new XKE.
Switched to the GOP,
That's the way things go. 

Oh that Harvey he was
Really smart, he used his noodle.
Sheila bought a white French poodle,
Went to Europe with a visa,
Henry's rich, they say that he's a
VIP!
This could be,
Only in the USA! 


Check out the Allan Sherman info page at:
  <http://www.bestweb.net/~foosie/sherman.htm>

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: Maarten van Tilburg <mtilburg@planet.nl>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 12:10:51 +0100
Organization: Planet Internet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70788

Janne Rinta-Manty wrote:
> 
> gnohmon8715 2000-12-14T19:15:39Z:
> > Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
> > and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
> > almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a legendary
> > story, whether or not it ever happened.
> 
> FWIW, I have seen that happen.
> 

We (Dutch) saw it happen on a TV newsflash some two years ago, when our
Prime Minister Wim Kok tried to demonstrate his computer literacy.

He failed to mention inventing the internet, though

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 11:39:07 -0000
Organization: Customer of Energis Squared
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70794

> > > Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
> > > and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
> > > almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a legendary
> > > story, whether or not it ever happened.
> >
> > FWIW, I have seen that happen.
> >
>
> We (Dutch) saw it happen on a TV newsflash some two years ago, when our
> Prime Minister Wim Kok tried to demonstrate his computer literacy.
>
> He failed to mention inventing the internet, though

I once saw a catalogue for office supplies. On the front was a shot of
someone's hand, holding a mouse. They were holding it back-to-front, with
the mouse buttons under the palm.

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 14:17:13 -0000
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70792

> >> We (Dutch) saw it happen on a TV newsflash some two years ago, when our
> >> Prime Minister Wim Kok tried to demonstrate his computer literacy.
> >>
> >> He failed to mention inventing the internet, though
> >
> >I once saw a catalogue for office supplies. On the front was a shot of
> >someone's hand, holding a mouse. They were holding it back-to-front, with
> >the mouse buttons under the palm.
>
> That is the only sane way to use the User Device From Hell.
>

I hate it as well. I waste too much time moving from the keyboard to the
mouse and back again. I need some means of being able to move the mouse
pointer accurratly whilst typing - foot controlled, toungue controlled,
anything that doesn't disrupt typing.

At home I mainly use console mode applications.

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 15 Dec 2000 15:23:24 -0000
Organization: The Linux Emporium
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70838

In article <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com>,  <gnohmon8715@my-deja.com> wrote:
>In article <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com>,
>  James.E.Esler@cdc.com wrote:
>> Not sure what the word "resignates" means
>
>Sorry, I was trying to sound Presidential.
>
>These stupid user stories are so repetitive in their way, but I always enjoy
>lurking and reading the thread.
>
>Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse and pointed
>it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it almost seems like I saw
>it myself -- and that makes it a legendary story, whether or not it ever
>happened.

I've had a user who couldn't move the mouse.  She'd put her hand on it
and then sit there saying, "I can't move it" in a desperate sort of way.
It took her quite a while for her to learn to translate the desired
motion of the mouse pointer on the screen into physical motion of the
mouse on the desk.  So much for intuitive.

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

From: gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 15:32:38 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70820

In article <3A39FC3B.E51F468C@planet.nl>,
  Maarten van Tilburg <mtilburg@planet.nl> wrote:
> He failed to mention inventing the internet, though

Al Gore said he "took the initiative in creating the internet", and from a
legislator's point of view, that's what he did. He did *not* ever say that he
invented the internet.

Did I ever tell you the one about the "any" key?


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

######

From: wiss@eelwing.arda (Jonas Wissting)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 17:14:08 +0100
Organization: Utfors AB
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70802

In article <91dd1c$q7$1@polo.demon.co.uk>,
	john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters) writes:
...
> I've had a user who couldn't move the mouse.  She'd put her hand on it
> and then sit there saying, "I can't move it" in a desperate sort of way.
> It took her quite a while for her to learn to translate the desired
> motion of the mouse pointer on the screen into physical motion of the
> mouse on the desk.  So much for intuitive.

My mother did this.

	Jonas

-- 
http://wiss.unx.nu
http://linux.unx.nu

   Another Glitch in the Call

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Did you leave the lists alone?

        Hey!  Hacker!  Leave those lists alone!

Chorus:
        All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.
        All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.


######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 15 Dec 2000 09:31:14 -0700
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
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jmfbahciv@aol.com writes:
> 
> It was in a Star Trek movie.

No, he tried to use it for a microphone.  It was when he started
typing that the scene got *really* funny.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

Message-ID: <3A3A4829.2C3D572E@sprintmail.com>
From: John Ferrell <johnferrell@sprintmail.com>
Reply-To: johnferrell@sprintmail.com
Organization: Dixie Competition Products
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70854

I have a trackball on my machine. It is always fun to watch a guest try
to push it around on the desk...

Janne Rinta-Manty wrote:

> gnohmon8715 2000-12-14T19:15:39Z:
> > Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
> > and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
> > almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a legendary
> > story, whether or not it ever happened.
>
> FWIW, I have seen that happen.
>
> --
> Janne Rinta-Mänty

--
John Ferrell in Julian NC, de W8CCW
  Dixie Competition Products
   6241 Phillippi Rd
    Julian NC 27283
Phone: (336)685-9606  Fax: (336)685-9771
NSRCA 479         AMA 4190
"My Competition is Not My Enemy"

######

From: roggblake@inamme.com (Roger Blake)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI> <3A39FC3B.E51F468C@planet.nl> <91ddin$mu$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
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On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 15:32:38 GMT, gnohmon8715@my-deja.com <gnohmon8715@my-deja.com> wrote:
>Al Gore said he "took the initiative in creating the internet", and from a
>legislator's point of view, that's what he did. He did *not* ever say that he

The Internet existed well before algore got involved in funding
its expansion. Of course, the kind of twisted thinking that
equates "funding expansion of" and "creation" is SOP inside the
beltway.

>Did I ever tell you the one about the "any" key?

I've certainly had users ask me where it was!

-- 
  Roger Blake
  (remove second "g" and second "m" from address for email)

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 15 Dec 2000 18:19:51 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <91dnc7$c0h$1@teabag.cbhnet>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
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    <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com>
    <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
    <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI>
    <3A39FC3B.E51F468C@planet.nl> <91ddin$mu$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
    <slrn93klai.30k.roggblake@linux1.linux.bogus>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70809

In article <slrn93klai.30k.roggblake@linux1.linux.bogus>,
	roggblake@inamme.com (Roger Blake) writes:
> On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 15:32:38 GMT, gnohmon8715@my-deja.com <gnohmon8715@my-deja.com> wrote:
>>Al Gore said he "took the initiative in creating the internet", and from a
>>legislator's point of view, that's what he did. He did *not* ever say that he
> 
> The Internet existed well before algore got involved in funding
> its expansion. Of course, the kind of twisted thinking that
> equates "funding expansion of" and "creation" is SOP inside the
> beltway.

Oh, please, please, please can we nip this one in the bud?  I *really*
can't bear another fscking discussion of Al Bloody Gore.

Chris.

######

From: gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 20:49:42 GMT
Organization: Deja.com
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Message-ID: <91e053$i56$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70797

In article <91dnc7$c0h$1@teabag.cbhnet>,
  cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley) wrote:
> I *really*  can't bear another fscking discussion of Al Bloody Gore.

No discussion is necessary. I *really* can't bear another luser spreading the
invented-the-internet lie, and I *will* post a correction to every single
fscking one I happen to see. The sin is theirs, not mine. When they stop
doing it, I will have no need to correct them.


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

######

From: Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 00:12:18 GMT
Organization: CompuServe Interactive Services
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70893

On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 16:34:54 GMT, John Ferrell
<johnferrell@sprintmail.com> wrote:

>I have a trackball on my machine. It is always fun to watch a guest try
>to push it around on the desk...

I have a trackball that I use with my left hand, and so I've reversed
the functions of the buttons.  That really drives people nuts.  They
reach across the keyboard to use their right hand, and even though
they know the buttons are reversed, the right-click menus keep popping
up.  

Of course, when I use someone else' computer, the shoe is on the other
hand.

I'm not left-handed, by the way.  I just use my trackball that way.
It leaves my right hand free for the keypad and writing.

Dav Vandenbroucke
dav_and_frances_vandenbroucke@compuserve.com

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
From: "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com>
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
X-Nntp-Posting-Host: shex112626.shrv.bna.boeing.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70829

Howdy!

Dav Vandenbroucke <Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com> wrote in
message news:3a3aa676.8410296@news.compuserve.com...
> On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 16:34:54 GMT, John Ferrell
> <johnferrell@sprintmail.com> wrote:
>
> >I have a trackball on my machine. It is always fun to watch a guest try
> >to push it around on the desk...
>
> I have a trackball that I use with my left hand, and so I've reversed
> the functions of the buttons.  That really drives people nuts.  They
> reach across the keyboard to use their right hand, and even though
> they know the buttons are reversed, the right-click menus keep popping
> up.

        You want to REALLY mess with my head?  Put your mouse or trackball
on the LEFT and DON'T swap the buttons!

        Dunno how I did it, but I have managed to train myself to use the
mouse either way.  'Course, being righthanded, I'm faster mouse-on-right and
standard-button, but hey ...

        RwP

######

Message-ID: <3A3ACA14.E1879D11@ev1.net>
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 17:49:08 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.7C-CCK-MCD {C-UDP; EBM-APPLE} (Macintosh; I; PPC)
X-Accept-Language: en
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI> <3A39FC3B.E51F468C@planet.nl> <91cvnd$8eu$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70942

> In article <91cvnd$8eu$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>,
>    "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >> > > Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
> >> > > and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
> >> > > almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a legendary
> >> > > story, whether or not it ever happened.
> >> >
> >> > FWIW, I have seen that happen.
> >> >
> >>
> >> We (Dutch) saw it happen on a TV newsflash some two years ago, when our
> >> Prime Minister Wim Kok tried to demonstrate his computer literacy.
> >>
> >> He failed to mention inventing the internet, though
> >
> >I once saw a catalogue for office supplies. On the front was a shot of
> >someone's hand, holding a mouse. They were holding it back-to-front, with
> >the mouse buttons under the palm.
> 
I have heard of a woman that thought the mouse was a foot pedal, like a 
sewing machine has. 

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A3ACA94.1BE3B9E6@ev1.net>
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 17:51:17 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.7C-CCK-MCD {C-UDP; EBM-APPLE} (Macintosh; I; PPC)
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70949

Paul Grayson wrote:
> 
> > >> We (Dutch) saw it happen on a TV newsflash some two years ago, when our
> > >> Prime Minister Wim Kok tried to demonstrate his computer literacy.
> > >>
> > >> He failed to mention inventing the internet, though
> > >
> > >I once saw a catalogue for office supplies. On the front was a shot of
> > >someone's hand, holding a mouse. They were holding it back-to-front, with
> > >the mouse buttons under the palm.
> >
> > That is the only sane way to use the User Device From Hell.
> >
> 
> I hate it as well. I waste too much time moving from the keyboard to the
> mouse and back again. I need some means of being able to move the mouse
> pointer accurratly whilst typing - foot controlled, toungue controlled,
> anything that doesn't disrupt typing.
> 
What you need is the ASCII mouse...a mouse with a *full* ascii keyboard
on top of it. BYTE magazine featured one of these in an April issue many
years ago...for April Fool.

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A3ACB1A.EC4EE319@ev1.net>
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 17:53:30 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
	    <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70952

Chris Hedley wrote:
> 
> In article <slrn93klai.30k.roggblake@linux1.linux.bogus>,
>         roggblake@inamme.com (Roger Blake) writes:
> > On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 15:32:38 GMT, gnohmon8715@my-deja.com <gnohmon8715@my-deja.com> wrote:
> >>Al Gore said he "took the initiative in creating the internet", and from a
> >>legislator's point of view, that's what he did. He did *not* ever say that he
> >
> > The Internet existed well before algore got involved in funding
> > its expansion. Of course, the kind of twisted thinking that
> > equates "funding expansion of" and "creation" is SOP inside the
> > beltway.
> 
> Oh, please, please, please can we nip this one in the bud?  I *really*
> can't bear another fscking discussion of Al Bloody Gore.
> 
Amen!!! If I wanted messages about politics, I would subscribe to
<alt.fuckhead>!!!

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: Ariel Scolnicov <ariels@compugen.co.il>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 16 Dec 2000 10:58:48 +0200
Organization: Compugen, Ltd.
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Janne Rinta-Manty <jrm@iki.fi> writes:

> gnohmon8715 2000-12-14T19:15:39Z:
> > Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse
> > and pointed it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it
> > almost seems like I saw it myself -- and that makes it a legendary
> > story, whether or not it ever happened.
> 
> FWIW, I have seen that happen.

I saw a guy pick up a Mac's mouse and *talk* into it, expecting the
computer to respond.  Oh wait, that was in _The Search for Spock_.
-- 
Ariel Scolnicov

######

From: D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 03:39:41 -0600
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70935


andyl@azaal.dircon.co.uk (Andy Leighton) wrote:
[]Then presumably the poor luser moves to the terminal next door.
[]Repeat until bored.

They do just that. Fortunately each floor section of the building
has, at most, 4 terminals. We require that a supervisor call us
before we vary them back on in such instances.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 3, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 10:16:16 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70867

Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke)
wrote:

>On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 16:34:54 GMT, John Ferrell
><johnferrell@sprintmail.com> wrote:
>
>>I have a trackball on my machine. It is always fun to watch a guest try
>>to push it around on the desk...
>
>I have a trackball that I use with my left hand, and so I've reversed
>the functions of the buttons.  That really drives people nuts.  They
>reach across the keyboard to use their right hand, and even though
>they know the buttons are reversed, the right-click menus keep popping
>up.  
>
>Of course, when I use someone else' computer, the shoe is on the other
>hand.
>
>I'm not left-handed, by the way.  I just use my trackball that way.
>It leaves my right hand free for the keypad and writing.

     Whatever works.

     I *am* left-handed.  I use a right-handed mouse.  That lets me
mouse with my right hand and jot notes with my left.  What do you
right-handers do?

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko

Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation:
     I have preferences.
     You have biases.
     He/She has prejudices.

######

From: "Jacqui or (maybe) Pete" <prs@gol.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Reply-To: prs@gol.com
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On Sat, 16 Dec 2000 00:12:18 GMT,
Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke)
wrote:
...
>I have a trackball that I use with my left hand, and so I've reversed
>the functions of the buttons.  That really drives people nuts.  They
>reach across the keyboard to use their right hand, and even though
>they know the buttons are reversed, the right-click menus keep popping
>up.  
...
Un-mapping the vi arrow keys  is another good way to teach people to
stop leaning across you.

######

From: Howard S Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 10:51:23 -0500
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In article <91fnrl$2hk$4@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:

>I never thought to use my foot.  What a good idea.

IIRC, such a mouse was actually made.  It used to be possible to buy them.  I 
forget what they called it (FootMouse?).
-- 
Howard S Shubs
"Run in circles, scream and shout!"  "I hope you have good backups!"

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 16 Dec 2000 10:37:17 -0700
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genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
> 
>      I *am* left-handed.  I use a right-handed mouse.  That lets me
> mouse with my right hand and jot notes with my left.  What do you
> right-handers do?

I suspect some of this depends on just *how* left- or right- handed
you are.  My dad used to say the only thing his left hand was good for
was holding the fork when he was cutting a steak, and that's about
where I am.  I wouldn't be able to use a mouse left-handed....  so I
write right-handed, and I mouse right-handed.  And it's
inconvenient...
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 16 Dec 2000 10:42:45 -0700
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
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jmfbahciv@aol.com writes:
> 
> Right.  That was step one.  Then didn't he try pointing
> at the screen for step two?

I don't remember that....

> > It was when he started
> >typing that the scene got *really* funny.
> 
> Hmmm...I don't remember that being *really* funny, though I do
> remember laughing.  Did I miss something?  I do remember that
> Scotty acted like an engineer.  Note that most of the
> movie is a haze behind a curtain in my brain.

He started typing with two fingers at what looked like 200 WPM, while
a series of incredibly detailed 3D engineering drawings went flashing
by on the Mac's screen.  It isn't often that a movie puts in a joke
for the benefit of people who know what they're talking about (and it
was clearly deliberate, not a screwup -- his typing went tap.....
tap.... tap... tap... tap.. tap.. taptaptaptaptaptaptap).
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: Pete Fenelon <pete@fenelon.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 20:18:38 -0000
Organization: Posted via Supernews, http://www.supernews.com
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> genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
>> 
>>      I *am* left-handed.  I use a right-handed mouse.  That lets me
>> mouse with my right hand and jot notes with my left.  What do you
>> right-handers do?

Likewise. I'm left-handed and use a mouse (reluctantly) right-handed. 
I much prefer keyboard shortcuts, even to control GUIs when I have to use 
them. After all, I can dedicate ten digits to the keyboard, and achieve a much
higher bandwidth than I can with a mouse.

(I don't draw pictures on computers. If I need a diagram I'll sketch it in 
pencil and scan it in. So I don't find mice, tablets, lightpens, etc. useful.
I was almost a convert to trackballs, but they still mean you end up too far
from the home keys.)

pete

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3a3aa676.8410296@news.compuserve.com> <3a3b0bf9.302612@news.shuswap.net> <1bvgskqnci.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
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Joe Pfeiffer  <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> wrote:
>I suspect some of this depends on just *how* left- or right- handed
>you are.  My dad used to say the only thing his left hand was good for
>was holding the fork when he was cutting a steak, and that's about
>where I am.  I wouldn't be able to use a mouse left-handed....  so I
>write right-handed, and I mouse right-handed.  And it's
>inconvenient...

You might be surprised -- I'm pretty right handed to, but some years
ago I found myself with a "left handed" office -- the combination of
the location of the power & network points, the window and the direction
of the morning sun (and therefore reflections and glare on screens), the
shape of the room and the fact I was trying to squeeze two screens onto
one computer table made any arrangement with the mouse mat on the 
right hand side very inconvenient.  So I swapped the buttons around 
and put it on the left, and just got used to it.

I think it's actually better for the hands to give the left hand some
of the work, since the right gets to handle things like arrow keys.  

-- don

######

From: X@Y.Z.net (Jynx)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI> <3A3A4829.2C3D572E@sprintmail.com> <3a3aa676.8410296@news.compuserve.com> <3a3b0bf9.302612@news.shuswap.net> <1bvgskqnci.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70926

On 16 Dec 2000 10:37:17 -0700, Joe Pfeiffer scribbled:
>genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
>> 
>>      I *am* left-handed.  I use a right-handed mouse.  That lets me
>> mouse with my right hand and jot notes with my left.  What do you
>> right-handers do?
>
>I suspect some of this depends on just *how* left- or right- handed
>you are.  My dad used to say the only thing his left hand was good for
>was holding the fork when he was cutting a steak, and that's about
>where I am.  I wouldn't be able to use a mouse left-handed....  so I
>write right-handed, and I mouse right-handed.  And it's inconvenient...

I am right-handed and my dad was left-handed.
Because he taught me how to do so many things in my 'formative' years,
I do many things left-handed.  I play cards, tie my tie, tie my
shoes, and pee left-handed for example.

Jonesy
-- 
Marvin L Jones         |  jonz             |  W3DHJ     |  OS/2
 Gunnison, Colorado    |   @               |  Jonesy    |  linux    __
  7,703' -- 2,345m     |    frontier.net   |  DM68mn                SK

######

From: swaim@nol.net
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI> <3A3A4829.2C3D572E@sprintmail.com> <3a3aa676.8410296@news.compuserve.com> <3a3b0bf9.302612@news.shuswap.net> <1bvgskqnci.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70901

Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> wrote:
> I suspect some of this depends on just *how* left- or right- handed
> you are.  My dad used to say the only thing his left hand was good for
> was holding the fork when he was cutting a steak, and that's about
> where I am.  I wouldn't be able to use a mouse left-handed....  so I
> write right-handed, and I mouse right-handed.  And it's
> inconvenient...

  At least you could learn. My right hand can barely hold a mouse, much
less, press the buttons. Mice on the right drive me nuts. (I do type two
handed, using the thumb and pinky on my right hand.)

-- 
Mike Swaim, Avatar of Chaos: Disclaimer:I sometimes lie.
Home: swaim at nol * net Quote: "Boingie"^4 Y,W&D

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 00 12:56:58 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70999

In article <hnsngr-ya023180001712002346170001@news.flash.net>,
   hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger) wrote:
>In article <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:
>
>> Hmmm...I don't remember that being *really* funny, though I do
>> remember laughing.  Did I miss something?  I do remember that
>> Scotty acted like an engineer.
>
>The only thing I recall that was funny there was that, although
>demonstrably unschooled in the UI, once he started typing the machine
>started producing images at a rate and of a complexity that the current
>hardware simply could not do, nor could they be done with software that
>could possibly fit on that machine. (Remember, he's from the future, but
>that machine was not. We *knew* what that hardware 
>was capable of. IIRC, it
>was a Mac Plus that was suddenly generating amazing color graphics. Man oh
>man, could that guy type!)

Ermmm...we had a typist that could type that fast in 1971.
When she was finally transferred and trained to type on
a keyboard, she could finally go at top speed and _our_
computer kept up with her.

>
>>  Note that most of the
>> movie is a haze behind a curtain in my brain.
>
>Probably due to all that LDS.

Sigh!  Unfortunately, no.  It's officially called CFS.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 17 Dec 2000 20:21:28 -0700
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71006

zs@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Zoltan Somogyi) writes:
> 
> And the first of those incredibly detailed 3D engineering drawings came up
> after about five keystrokes. Apparently, by the 23rd centry mankind has
> not only gotten around the lightspeed barrier with warp drives, they have
> also gotten around the Shannon limit on how much information can be encoded
> in five keystrokes on a Mac keyboard. (The information was clearly not in the
> Mac to begin with; even if it had been, Scotty could not have known about it,
> if he was clueless enough to use the mouse as a microphone.)

Exactly -- and, as opposed to all the unintentionally funny computer
scenes down through the decades, this time it was an in-joke for all
us geeks.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <hnsngr-ya023180001712002346170001@news.flash.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <91d7rd$n8j$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <1b4s0563zh.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71015

In article <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:

> Hmmm...I don't remember that being *really* funny, though I do
> remember laughing.  Did I miss something?  I do remember that
> Scotty acted like an engineer.

The only thing I recall that was funny there was that, although
demonstrably unschooled in the UI, once he started typing the machine
started producing images at a rate and of a complexity that the current
hardware simply could not do, nor could they be done with software that
could possibly fit on that machine. (Remember, he's from the future, but
that machine was not. We *knew* what that hardware was capable of. IIRC, it
was a Mac Plus that was suddenly generating amazing color graphics. Man oh
man, could that guy type!)

>  Note that most of the
> movie is a haze behind a curtain in my brain.

Probably due to all that LDS.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <hnsngr-ya023180001812000002200001@news.flash.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71014

In article <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com>, gnohmon8715@my-deja.com wrote:

> Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who picked up the mouse and pointed
> it at the screen? I've run into it so often that it almost seems like I saw
> it myself -- and that makes it a legendary story, whether or not it ever
> happened.

I was in the videoelectronics store the other day, shopping for a new VCR.
I told the salesman I was interested in the UI, and wanted to see all the
VCRs in action, programming and searching and so forth.

So, he managed to get the output from one of the VCRs routed to a TV set
somewhere else in the store, and started fumbling through the interface.
(Why don't salesmen ever seem to have used the equipment they're selling
and recommending?)

At one point, he seemed stymied. He was pressing buttons on the remote
control, but nothing was happening. I suggested gently that maybe it was
because he was pointing the remote at the TV instead of at the VCR.

He grinned sheepishly, changed his aim, and things started working better.
Now, I didn't think even for a moment that he didn't know any better. It's
just really easy to forget. I know. I've done it myself.

(And the conclusion of the story was that I finally told him "look, I'm not
going to get the information I need fumbling around like this. Get me the
manuals, and I'll sit there and read them." He did, and I did. RTFM. What a
concept! It really works.)

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 11:12:26 -0000
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70966

> > I hate it as well. I waste too much time moving from the keyboard to the
> > mouse and back again. I need some means of being able to move the mouse
> > pointer accurratly whilst typing - foot controlled, toungue controlled,
> > anything that doesn't disrupt typing.
> >
> What you need is the ASCII mouse...a mouse with a *full* ascii keyboard
> on top of it. BYTE magazine featured one of these in an April issue many
> years ago...for April Fool.
>

I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 years
ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.

######

Message-ID: <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net>
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 03:25:31 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71018

Joe Pfeiffer wrote:
> 
> zs@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Zoltan Somogyi) writes:
> >
> > And the first of those incredibly detailed 3D engineering drawings came up
> > after about five keystrokes. Apparently, by the 23rd centry mankind has
> > not only gotten around the lightspeed barrier with warp drives, they have
> > also gotten around the Shannon limit on how much information can be encoded
> > in five keystrokes on a Mac keyboard. (The information was clearly not in the
> > Mac to begin with; even if it had been, Scotty could not have known about it,
> > if he was clueless enough to use the mouse as a microphone.)
> 
> Exactly -- and, as opposed to all the unintentionally funny computer
> scenes down through the decades, this time it was an in-joke for all
> us geeks.
>
It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
They send
a page or two of message by tapping out enough on the key for about 20
or 30
characters. Also, I have seen print-outs from dot matrix printers in old movies
come out suspiciously fast. I guess they just can *not* afford the
screen time
for the actual number of keystrokes or telegraph key taps...

In the opposite direction...the U.S. TV comedy show "Seinfeld" spent several
seconds waiting for a cassette tape recorder to rewind the tape. It was funny
because George and Jerry went into their own little nether-worlds while
the 
tape was rewinding..then immediately came back to the present when the tape
was ready.

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 11:26:52 -0000
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> > genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
> >>
> >>      I *am* left-handed.  I use a right-handed mouse.  That lets me
> >> mouse with my right hand and jot notes with my left.  What do you
> >> right-handers do?
>
> Likewise. I'm left-handed and use a mouse (reluctantly) right-handed.
> I much prefer keyboard shortcuts, even to control GUIs when I have to use
> them. After all, I can dedicate ten digits to the keyboard, and achieve a
much
> higher bandwidth than I can with a mouse.

The first PC I used was an old Amstrad. Due to the nature of the case and
location of the cables I could only set it up with the mouse on the left,
and so I used the mouse left handed for around a year.

> (I don't draw pictures on computers. If I need a diagram I'll sketch it in
> pencil and scan it in. So I don't find mice, tablets, lightpens, etc.
useful.
> I was almost a convert to trackballs, but they still mean you end up too
far
> from the home keys.)
>

I curse those newly fangled right-handed ergonomic mice. They force me to
use it right handed. How can I take notes whilst working?

######

Message-ID: <3A3E1D0B.254ADB88@antlimited.com>
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 14:19:55 +0000
From: Richard Heathfield <richard@antlimited.com>
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Paul Grayson wrote:
> 

<snip>

> I curse those newly fangled right-handed ergonomic mice. They force me to
> use it right handed. How can I take notes whilst working?


IIRC Microsoft said, at the time these mice were first let out of their
cages, that they were just as ergonomic for left-handed use as for
right-handed use. I didn't believe it then, and I don't believe it now.


-- 
Richard Heathfield
"Usenet is a strange place." - Dennis M Ritchie, 29 July 1999.
C FAQ: http://www.eskimo.com/~scs/C-faq/top.html
K&R Answers: http://users.powernet.co.uk/eton/kandr2/index.html

######

Sender: lynn@LYNNPC
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI> <3A39FC3B.E51F468C@planet.nl> <91cvnd$8eu$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net> <91d7v2$n8j$5@bob.news.rcn.net> <91d8vq$cpb$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net> <3A3ACA94.1BE3B9E6@ev1.net> <91kral$1ic$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>
Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
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"Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> writes:
> I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 years
> ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.

around '80 one of the corporate human factors groups had built a
"cord-keyboard" half-spherical palm-size device where the fingers fit
into indentions ... at the finger tips were rocker sensors/keys with
four(?) possible "down" positions. it could be moved around on a flat
surface as well as typing with the finger-tip sensors. some people
claimed well in excess of 80 "words"/minutes

most of the other cord keyboards i've seen look more like flat piano
keys and the device isn't designed to move. It has been a while
... but I believe that I remember seeing ("flat") cord keyboard used
with the engelbart/augment system at tymshare (I would have to go back
and leaf thru the documentation).

-- 
Anne & Lynn Wheeler   | lynn@garlic.com -  http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ 

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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> > I curse those newly fangled right-handed ergonomic mice. They force me
to
> > use it right handed. How can I take notes whilst working?
>
>
> IIRC Microsoft said, at the time these mice were first let out of their
> cages, that they were just as ergonomic for left-handed use as for
> right-handed use. I didn't believe it then, and I don't believe it now.
>

Using it left-handed is even more uncomfortable that the very cheap
3-buttoned mouse I picked up 5-6 years ago for a few pounds, and that was
horrible either handed.

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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> > I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10
years
> > ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.
>
> around '80 one of the corporate human factors groups had built a
> "cord-keyboard" half-spherical palm-size device where the fingers fit
> into indentions ... at the finger tips were rocker sensors/keys with
> four(?) possible "down" positions. it could be moved around on a flat
> surface as well as typing with the finger-tip sensors. some people
> claimed well in excess of 80 "words"/minutes
>

There was a UK developed 6-key keyboard called the microwriter. Characters
could be typed by pressing a combination of the keys simultaneously.

A former collegue of mine helped test this device. IIRC one of the less
successful 8-bit machines had one of these fitted as standard.

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 15:10:05 +0000
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70970

On 15 Dec 2000 15:23:24 -0000, John Winters <john@polo.demon.co.uk> wrote:

>I've had a user who couldn't move the mouse.  She'd put her hand on it
>and then sit there saying, "I can't move it" in a desperate sort of way.
>It took her quite a while for her to learn to translate the desired
>motion of the mouse pointer on the screen into physical motion of the
>mouse on the desk.  So much for intuitive.

I have quite often run into people who run out of mouse mat and are then 
stuffed because they can't access half of the screen :-(

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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On Sat, 16 Dec 00 11:25:22 GMT, jmfbahciv@aol.com <jmfbahciv@aol.com> wrote:

>>> It was in a Star Trek movie.
>>
>>No, he tried to use it for a microphone. 
>
>Right.  That was step one.  Then didn't he try pointing
>at the screen for step two?

No no no, he tried talking to the computer without using any microphone 
first. Step 2 was when they gave him the mouse to use and he talked into
that.

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 15:16:33 +0000
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On Sat, 16 Dec 2000 01:11:14 GMT, 
Ralph Wade Phillips <ralphp@techie.com> wrote:

>        Dunno how I did it, but I have managed to train myself to use the
>mouse either way.  'Course, being righthanded, I'm faster mouse-on-right and
>standard-button, but hey ...

Supporting a pool of secretaries, I have learned three mouse configurations:

Right-handed

Left-handed - buttons reversed [from the people who said they were left handed
and got the buttons switched over]

Left-handed - buttons not reversed [from the people who just moved the mouse
to the other side of the keyboard and learned how to use it]

You learn pretty quickly a) how to use both kinds of left handed configuration
and b) to check which way round they are when you first sit down in front
of the machine.

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 15:28:54 +0000
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On Sat, 16 Dec 00 11:33:26 GMT, jmfbahciv@aol.com <jmfbahciv@aol.com> wrote:

>>I have heard of a woman that thought the mouse was a foot pedal, like a 
>>sewing machine has. 
>I never thought to use my foot.  What a good idea.

One of my "projects that I will do one day but never get round to"
consists of wiring up a foot pedal to some input on my PC and hooking it
into the OS to do something meaningful - toggling between virtual
consoles maybe... thats what I used to do with my windows buttons before
that keyboard broke and I had to go back to an older model.

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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In article <G5MzBB.3Dv@news.boeing.com>,
  "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com> wrote:
> You want to REALLY mess with my head?  Put your mouse or trackball
> on the LEFT and DON'T swap the buttons!

That's what I do.

"Button 1", the most-used button, can be pushed with several fingers quite
easily this way, and I find that it is considerably less stressful doing it
thus than using the index finger all the time.

That's why I do it. Not to mess with your head.


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

######

From: Joshua Hesse <00093182@bigred.unl.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 18 Dec 2000 16:40:34 GMT
Organization: People Eating Tasty Animals, UNL chapter
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:70991

Paul Grayson <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:

 :I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 years
 :ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.

I only saw it in a catalog and never got a chance to use one, but 
IIRC, the extra buttons were programmable short-cuts.  This was ~1990.

-Josh

-- 

    "I have also mastered pomposity, even if I do say so myself." -Kryten 

                 UNL Anime Club:  http://www.unl.edu/otaku

######

Message-ID: <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu>
From: Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
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Charles Richmond wrote:
> 
> It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
> They send
> a page or two of message by tapping out enough on the key for about 20
> or 30 characters. 

...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
sentence is out, in clear text.
 
--
Simon Allaway          |  "Computer games don't affect kids, if Pac Man 
University of Chicago  |   affected us as kids, we'd all be running 
Anthropology           |   around in darkened rooms, munching pills 
5-4390  Haskell Hall   |   and listening to repetitive music."

######

From: Lars Duening <lars@bearnip.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 12:04:03 -0700
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71042

In article <3a3b0bf9.302612@news.shuswap.net>, genew@shuswap.net says...

>      I *am* left-handed.  I use a right-handed mouse.  That lets me
> mouse with my right hand and jot notes with my left.  What do you
> right-handers do?

Use a right-handed mouse with the left so that my right hand is free to 
use the Return/Space/Arrow keys, jot notes, etc.
-- 
Lars Duening; lars@bearnip.com
              http://www.bearnip.com/

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
From: "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com>
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Howdy!

<gnohmon8715@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:91lbot$po0$1@nnrp1.deja.com...
> In article <G5MzBB.3Dv@news.boeing.com>,
>   "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com> wrote:
> > You want to REALLY mess with my head?  Put your mouse or trackball
> > on the LEFT and DON'T swap the buttons!
>
> That's what I do.
>
> "Button 1", the most-used button, can be pushed with several fingers quite
> easily this way, and I find that it is considerably less stressful doing
it
> thus than using the index finger all the time.
>
> That's why I do it. Not to mess with your head.

        The reason why that messes with my head (when I have to work on a
system like that) is because my left hand is trained to operate a mouse
left-handedly (albeit slower than my right hand), and my right hand operates
one right-handedly.  But DON'T swap the buttons but DO move the mouse to the
left, and my finger macros are ALL screwed up.

        Excepting on Macintoshes, of course ... <grins>

        RwP

######

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Simon Allaway wrote:

> Charles Richmond wrote:
> >
> > It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
> > They send
> > a page or two of message by tapping out enough on the key for about 20
> > or 30 characters.
>
> ...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
> sentence is out, in clear text.

Yea, this always irritates me.  I collect telegraph instruments and I have a

couple of circuits of several "stations" each set up on the "shelf" in the
family room.  When I have visitors, the sometimes ask me about it and
I usually send something like "HELLO <their name>".  They of course
ask what I sent and they all seem shocked when I tell time.  Comments
like "that's all?".  One of the "better" PBS shows "American Experience"
sometime in the last year or so had a show where a telegram was being
sent.  All they showed was the sounder and it was clicking about once
a second.  To get a job as a telegraph operator one usually had to
demonstrate at least 25 words per minute.  At five letters a word and
average three elements a character, that's six to seven "clicks" (actually
click-clacks) a second.  Anyway, pissed me off...................Note that
25 to 30 WPM is only about 2 to 3 cps.

Chris
AN GETTO$;DUMP;RUN,ALGOL,TAPE
$$

######

From: Sam Yorko <JOATnospamMON@compuserve.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Simon Allaway wrote:
> 
> Charles Richmond wrote:
> >
> > It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
> > They send
> > a page or two of message by tapping out enough on the key for about 20
> > or 30 characters.
> 
> ...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
> sentence is out, in clear text.
> 
OTOH, Stan Freberg in his "History of the United States" albums, made
sure the morse code sequences were accurate and relevant, even though
very few people would get it.

######

Message-ID: <3A3E7FAE.11999507@uchicago.edu>
From: Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
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jchausler wrote:
> 
> Simon Allaway wrote:
> > ...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
> > sentence is out, in clear text.
> 
> Yea, this always irritates me.  
> To get a job as a telegraph operator one usually had to
> demonstrate at least 25 words per minute. 

A colleague here at the university is a Ham user. He showed me a device
that has two positions on a horizontal axis. Dit in one direction and
dah in the other. With this device he told me he could do 50-60. He did
point out that this was quick. I couldn't honestly comprehend it until
he demostrated. Amazing density of information.

I wonder what it feels like to think in morse.

Simon

######

From: bhk@dsl.co.uk (Brian {Hamilton Kelly})
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 22:18:50 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71085

In article <G5MzBB.3Dv@news.boeing.com>
           ralphp@techie.com "Ralph Wade Phillips" writes:

> Dav Vandenbroucke <Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com> wrote in
> message news:3a3aa676.8410296@news.compuserve.com...
> >
> > I have a trackball that I use with my left hand, and so I've reversed
> > the functions of the buttons.  That really drives people nuts.  They
> > reach across the keyboard to use their right hand, and even though
> > they know the buttons are reversed, the right-click menus keep popping
> > up.
> 
>         You want to REALLY mess with my head?  Put your mouse or trackball
> on the LEFT and DON'T swap the buttons!

I've used a mouse in my left hand since first having one.  Under OS/2
(which has used right-clicking for a lot longer than a certain M$
product), I'd never felt the need to swap the left- and right-buttons; so
I click the left-button with my middle finger, and the right- with my
index finger.

What's the problem with that?  (Especially since it leaves my dominant
hand free for the keyboard.)

>         Dunno how I did it, but I have managed to train myself to use the
> mouse either way.  'Course, being righthanded, I'm faster mouse-on-right and
> standard-button, but hey ...

AT work, OTOH (!), the mice in the lab are arranged to the right-hand
side of the workstations, so I use them in my right-hand, and don't have
any problem with making the transition.  To my mind, left-click and
right-click are of more import than button-1-click and button-2-click.

On the third hand, back in the days when I used to use Suns, I always
used to reprogram the three buttons into the reverse order.

-- 
Brian {Hamilton Kelly}                                          bhk@dsl.co.uk
    "We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of
    distributed ignorance.  And we know and understand less while being incr-
    easingly capable."                          Prof. Peter Cochrane, BT Labs

######

From: bhk@dsl.co.uk (Brian {Hamilton Kelly})
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 22:31:03 GMT
Organization: Dragonhill Systems Ltd
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In article <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> lynn@garlic.com  writes:

> "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> writes:
> > I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 years
> > ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.
> 
> around '80 one of the corporate human factors groups had built a
> "cord-keyboard" half-spherical palm-size device where the fingers fit
> into indentions ... at the finger tips were rocker sensors/keys with
> four(?) possible "down" positions. it could be moved around on a flat
> surface as well as typing with the finger-tip sensors. some people
> claimed well in excess of 80 "words"/minutes
> 
> most of the other cord keyboards i've seen look more like flat piano
> keys and the device isn't designed to move. It has been a while
> ... but I believe that I remember seeing ("flat") cord keyboard used
> with the engelbart/augment system at tymshare (I would have to go back
> and leaf thru the documentation).

Ahem; this is not a spelling flame (because they are generally counter-
productive).  However, I believe you should be referring to a chord
keyboard (which may, or may not, be cord-less:-)

[Fx: mutter, mutter; I saw a newspaper report the other day where a
supposedly scientific reporter referred to a "spinal chord".  WTF do they
teach journalists nowadays, because it certainly isn't spelling or
grammar?]

-- 
Brian {Hamilton Kelly}                                          bhk@dsl.co.uk
    "We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of
    distributed ignorance.  And we know and understand less while being incr-
    easingly capable."                          Prof. Peter Cochrane, BT Labs

######

From: X@Y.Z.net (Jynx)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <91d7rd$n8j$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <1b4s0563zh.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <1bsnnoqn3e.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91jpkc$v90$1@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <1b8zpee7nr.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <3A3E6EEE.E8B338B6@earthlink.net> <3A3E7FAE.11999507@uchicago.edu>
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On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 15:20:46 -0600, Simon Allaway scribbled:
>
>A colleague here at the university is a Ham user. 

An Amateur Radio Operator -- or a "Ham".  Not a 'ham user/luser',
since amateur radio operators are required to demonstrate, by test, 
certain levels of proficiency for one of 3 classes of license 
obtained from the FCC.

Whereas, computer (l)users receive little, if any, (poor)
training, and need not demonstrate *any* degree of proficiency --
before delighting all of 'us' with outrageous conduct.

>He showed me a device
>that has two positions on a horizontal axis. Dit in one direction and
>dah in the other. 

Called "paddles" -- used to 'drive' an electronic keyer.

>With this device he told me he could do 50-60. 

"...he could do 50-60" WPM (Words Per Minute), I'm sure.

>He did point out that this was quick. 

Quick, yes.  *Very, Very, Very Fast* is over 100 WPM.
'Normal', everday over-the-air operations are in the 15-20 WPM range.

>I couldn't honestly comprehend it until
>he demostrated. Amazing density of information.

The Very Good operators can send & receive morse code, whilst
carrying on a conversation with a visitor in the radio "shack".
(Not me...)

>I wonder what it feels like to think in morse.

Well, you have to -- in a way -- to send it.

73,
Jonesy
-- 
Marvin L Jones         |  jonz             |  W3DHJ     |  OS/2
 Gunnison, Colorado    |   @               |  Jonesy    |  linux    __
  7,703' -- 2,345m     |    frontier.net   |  DM68mn                SK

######

Message-ID: <3A3EC564.3932FCED@uchicago.edu>
From: Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Sam Yorko wrote:
> 
> Simon Allaway wrote:

> > ...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
> > sentence is out, in clear text.
> >
> OTOH, Stan Freberg in his "History of the United States" albums, made
> sure the morse code sequences were accurate and relevant, even though
> very few people would get it.

I admire that kind of attention to detail....it makes or breaks movies
for me. Perhaps I am too much of a geek though.

Simon

######

From: Richard Edwards <rockinricky@WHAMMY.home.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 11:34:46 -0600, Simon Allaway
<simona@uchicago.edu> wrote:

>Charles Richmond wrote:
>> 
>> It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
>> They send
>> a page or two of message by tapping out enough on the key for about 20
>> or 30 characters. 
>
>...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
>sentence is out, in clear text.
> 

I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of a
laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.


Rick

######

From: "Michael N. LeVine" <mlevine@ridgecrest.ca.us>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 20:29:01 -0800
Organization: RidgeNet
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In article <91kral$1ic$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>, "Paul 
Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:

> > > I hate it as well. I waste too much time moving from the keyboard to 
> > > the
> > > mouse and back again. I need some means of being able to move the 
> > > mouse
> > > pointer accurratly whilst typing - foot controlled, toungue 
> > > controlled,
> > > anything that doesn't disrupt typing.
> > >
> > What you need is the ASCII mouse...a mouse with a *full* ascii keyboard
> > on top of it. BYTE magazine featured one of these in an April issue 
> > many
> > years ago...for April Fool.
> >
> 
> I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 
> years
> ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.
> 
> 

Actually there was a true ASCII mouse like product on the market in the 
70's IIRC. It had 6 or 7 buttons and the user held down buttons 
corresponding to the ASCII code of the character he wanted to input then 
strobed it in  to the serial port by pushing the thumb button.
All you had to do was memorize the ASCII code and what button 
corresponded to what bit. I don't recall it being on hte market very 
long.
-- 
Michael LeVine -  mlevine@ridgecrest.ca.us
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee 
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 18 Dec 2000 23:54:28 -0700
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Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu> writes:
> > >
> > OTOH, Stan Freberg in his "History of the United States" albums, made
> > sure the morse code sequences were accurate and relevant, even though
> > very few people would get it.
> 
> I admire that kind of attention to detail....it makes or breaks movies
> for me. Perhaps I am too much of a geek though.

I admire attention to detail, and movies that get things obviously
wrong irritate me to death.  All the same, sitting there while
somebody actually keys out a long Morse Code message would be really,
really deadly...  the sort of thing that works is to have the
telegraph operator send a dozen or so characters correctly, then have
something else happen while he's keying away in the background, and
then come back to him when he's done.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: AndyC <a962115@uea.ac.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 09:27:47 +0000
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On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 gnohmon8715@my-deja.com wrote:

> In article <G5MzBB.3Dv@news.boeing.com>,
>   "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com> wrote:
> > You want to REALLY mess with my head?  Put your mouse or trackball
> > on the LEFT and DON'T swap the buttons!
> 
> That's what I do.
> 
> "Button 1", the most-used button, can be pushed with several fingers quite
> easily this way, and I find that it is considerably less stressful doing it
> thus than using the index finger all the time.

Yes, I've found this too. Unfortunately the layout of my current desk has
forced me to move it back to the right hand side, which is nowhere near as
comfortable IMO.

AndyC

######

From: gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 16:28:12 GMT
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In article <Pine.OSF.4.05.10012190926370.7289-100000@cpca7.uea.ac.uk>,
  AndyC <a962115@uea.ac.uk> wrote:
>
>
> On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 gnohmon8715@my-deja.com wrote:
>
> > In article <G5MzBB.3Dv@news.boeing.com>,
> >   "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com> wrote:
> > > You want to REALLY mess with my head?  Put your mouse or trackball
> > > on the LEFT and DON'T swap the buttons!
> >
> > That's what I do.
> >
> > "Button 1", the most-used button, can be pushed with several fingers quite
> > easily this way, and I find that it is considerably less stressful doing it
> > thus than using the index finger all the time.
>
> Yes, I've found this too. Unfortunately the layout of my current desk has
> forced me to move it back to the right hand side, which is nowhere near as
> comfortable IMO.

I've never dared, but it seems logical to me when I'm forced to use the mouse
right-handed, I really really ought to map the buttons lefty!


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

######

From: genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 17:28:34 GMT
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"Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> > I hate it as well. I waste too much time moving from the keyboard to the
>> > mouse and back again. I need some means of being able to move the mouse
>> > pointer accurratly whilst typing - foot controlled, toungue controlled,
>> > anything that doesn't disrupt typing.
>> >
>> What you need is the ASCII mouse...a mouse with a *full* ascii keyboard
>> on top of it. BYTE magazine featured one of these in an April issue many
>> years ago...for April Fool.
>>
>
>I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 years
>ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.

     No joke.  I knew someone who used one.  He did alot of CAD work.

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko

Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation:
     I have preferences.
     You have biases.
     He/She has prejudices.

######

From: genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 17:28:35 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71064

"Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:

[snip]

>I curse those newly fangled right-handed ergonomic mice. They force me to
>use it right handed. How can I take notes whilst working?

     Switch to the One True Handedness!

     Why is it that right-handed mice are best used by left-handers
and v.v.?

Sincerely,

Gene "Lefty" Wirchenko

Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation:
     I have preferences.
     You have biases.
     He/She has prejudices.

######

Message-ID: <3A3FAA5C.A475847@uchicago.edu>
From: Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
Organization: University of Chicago
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.76 [en] (Windows NT 5.0; U)
X-Accept-Language: en
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71051

Gene Wirchenko wrote:
> 

> >I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 years
> >ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.
> 
> No joke.  I knew someone who used one.  He did alot of CAD work.

In our lab we have a 5 foot by 4 foot digitising tablet. It ships with
two mouse-like devices (they like to call them 'pucks'). Each is
wireless with a coil device so it knows where it is on the tablet. One
puck has 4 buttons, the other 16.


--
Simon Allaway          |  "Computer games don't affect kids, if Pac Man 
University of Chicago  |   affected us as kids, we'd all be running 
Anthropology           |   around in darkened rooms, munching pills 
5-4390  Haskell Hall   |   and listening to repetitive music."

######

Message-ID: <3a3fd293@newsserver1.intergate.ca>
From: russmann_N_O_S_P_A_M_@intergate.ca
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>   <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <xknd7euc9p4.fsf@lepoluoto.cs.Helsinki.FI> <3A39FC3B.E51F468C@planet.nl> <91cvnd$8eu$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net> <91d7v2$n8j$5@bob.news.rcn.net> <91d8vq$cpb$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net> <3A3ACA94.1BE3B9E6@ev1.net> <91kral$1ic$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net> <3a3f9a87.157322@news.shuswap.net> <3A3FAA5C.A475847@uchicago.edu>
User-Agent: tin/1.4.4-20000803 ("Vet for the Insane") (UNIX) (Linux/2.2.17-21mdk (i586))
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71098

Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu> wrote:

> In our lab we have a 5 foot by 4 foot digitising tablet.

<delurk>
At first glance I parsed this as "digesting tablet".  How you would swallow
a 5x4 foot digesting tablet is beyond me...
</delurk

--c

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carl Russmann   russmann@N_O_S_P_A_M.intergate.ca  (you know what to do)
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
   PGP/GPG Key info: http://www.intergate.ca/personal/russmann/key
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
:wq

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 19 Dec 00 10:49:23 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71115

In article <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com>
rockinricky@WHAMMY.home.com (Richard Edwards) writes:

>I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of
>a laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.

Near the end of the movie _Tron_ we heard the sound of a dot-matrix
printer, and then the camera did a close-up of the printout - with
the daisy-wheel printhead still visible.

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 19 Dec 00 16:13:47 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71116

In article <3a3fd293@newsserver1.intergate.ca>
russmann_N_O_S_P_A_M_@intergate.ca (russmann_N_O_S_P_A_M_) writes:

>Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu> wrote:
>
>> In our lab we have a 5 foot by 4 foot digitising tablet.
>
><delurk>
>At first glance I parsed this as "digesting tablet".  How you would
>swallow a 5x4 foot digesting tablet is beyond me...
></delurk

Let alone how you'd digest it.  However, given a size like that,
a "digesting tablet" might wind up digesting you.

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: Ariel Scolnicov <ariels@compugen.co.il>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 19 Dec 2000 15:38:05 +0200
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71131

"Michael N. LeVine" <mlevine@ridgecrest.ca.us> writes:

> In article <91kral$1ic$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>, "Paul 
> Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
> 
> > > > I hate it as well. I waste too much time moving from the keyboard to 
> > > > the
> > > > mouse and back again. I need some means of being able to move the 
> > > > mouse
> > > > pointer accurratly whilst typing - foot controlled, toungue 
> > > > controlled,
> > > > anything that doesn't disrupt typing.
> > > >
> > > What you need is the ASCII mouse...a mouse with a *full* ascii keyboard
> > > on top of it. BYTE magazine featured one of these in an April issue 
> > > many
> > > years ago...for April Fool.
> > >
> > 
> > I do recall seing a photo of a mouse with around 20 buttons around 10 
> > years
> > ago. I've no idea if this was a joke.
> 
> Actually there was a true ASCII mouse like product on the market in the 
> 70's IIRC. It had 6 or 7 buttons and the user held down buttons 
> corresponding to the ASCII code of the character he wanted to input then 
> strobed it in  to the serial port by pushing the thumb button.
> All you had to do was memorize the ASCII code and what button 
> corresponded to what bit. I don't recall it being on hte market very 
> long.

There was a "Quinkey" keyboard on the market in England during the
1980's.  It was offered as an add-on to some home computers (BBC micro
among others), and also in a portable computer called something like
the "MicroWriter".  That had one (short!) line of text display, along
with full word-processing capabilities.

I never saw a real one, only read the ads and reviews.  I think it
used "chording" (release several keys to form your character), with
vaguely mnemonic finger patterns.  It did *not* require you to compose 
the ASCII bit codes.

We have had this discussion on afc before, I am sure.

-- 
Ariel Scolnicov

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
From: "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com>
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71118

Howdy!

Brian {Hamilton Kelly} <bhk@dsl.co.uk> wrote in message
news:977178663snz@dsl.co.uk...

> [Fx: mutter, mutter; I saw a newspaper report the other day where a
> supposedly scientific reporter referred to a "spinal chord".  WTF do they
> teach journalists nowadays, because it certainly isn't spelling or
> grammar?]

        Butt - it passed the spelling chequer write proper, didn't it?

        RwP

######

From: John Ahlstrom <jahlstrom@cisco.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 15:45:12 -0800
Organization: Cisco Systems Inc.
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71148

"chord" as in "spinal chord" is
an acceptable variation of "cord".
Some, including me, think it preferable -
e.g. the order "chordata" for animals with
spinal c(h)ords.



Ralph Wade Phillips wrote:

> Howdy!
>
> Brian {Hamilton Kelly} <bhk@dsl.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:977178663snz@dsl.co.uk...
>
> > [Fx: mutter, mutter; I saw a newspaper report the other day where a
> > supposedly scientific reporter referred to a "spinal chord".  WTF do they
> > teach journalists nowadays, because it certainly isn't spelling or
> > grammar?]
>
>         Butt - it passed the spelling chequer write proper, didn't it?
>
>         RwP

--
Is Simon & Schuster crazy?
Hillary wouldn't tell the people
of New York how she would vote
on highway bills.

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <91d7rd$n8j$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <1b4s0563zh.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <1bsnnoqn3e.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91jpkc$v90$1@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <1b8zpee7nr.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <3A3E7D44.3B26@compuserve.com> <3A3EC564.3932FCED@uchicago.edu> <1bn1dsyk7v.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
From: merlyn@stonehenge.com (Randal L. Schwartz)
Message-ID: <m11yv453jx.fsf@halfdome.holdit.com>
Organization: Stonehenge Consulting Services; Portland, Oregon, USA
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71137

>>>>> "Joe" == Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> writes:

Joe> I admire attention to detail, and movies that get things obviously
Joe> wrong irritate me to death.  All the same, sitting there while
Joe> somebody actually keys out a long Morse Code message would be really,
Joe> really deadly...  the sort of thing that works is to have the
Joe> telegraph operator send a dozen or so characters correctly, then have
Joe> something else happen while he's keying away in the background, and
Joe> then come back to him when he's done.

Yeah, that'd be a reasonable cinematic device.

It irritated me to see "The Net" (Sandra Bullock) use octet numbers
over 255 for some of the IPs.  Why didn't they just use a net-10
address? :)

-- 
Randal L. Schwartz - Stonehenge Consulting Services, Inc. - +1 503 777 0095
<merlyn@stonehenge.com> <URL:http://www.stonehenge.com/merlyn/>
Perl/Unix/security consulting, Technical writing, Comedy, etc. etc.
See PerlTraining.Stonehenge.com for onsite and open-enrollment Perl training!

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 20 Dec 2000 01:08:39 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <91p0qn$781$1@teabag.cbhnet>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71105

In article <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com>,
	Richard Edwards <rockinricky@WHAMMY.home.com> writes:
> I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of a
> laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.

Reminds me of the Not The Nine O'Clock News skit, with the picture of a
space-shuttle taking off accompanied by the sounds of a knackered old
Transit van starting up... (it was actually done quite well, with the
sound of the engine [eventually] starting synced with the shuttle's
engines firing, then first gear engaging as it moved off the launchpad)

Chris.

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3A3EC564.3932FCED@uchicago.edu> <1bn1dsyk7v.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <m11yv453jx.fsf@halfdome.holdit.com>
Organization: Plethora . Net - More Net, Less Spam!
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From: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach)
Date: 20 Dec 2000 02:35:21 GMT
Lines: 20
Message-ID: <3a401ae8$0$89531$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71139

In article <m11yv453jx.fsf@halfdome.holdit.com>,
Randal L. Schwartz <merlyn@stonehenge.com> wrote:
>It irritated me to see "The Net" (Sandra Bullock)

I love the way the movie is identified by the member of the cast whose
private parts are most often compressed using image-compression algorithms.

>use octet numbers
>over 255 for some of the IPs.  Why didn't they just use a net-10
>address? :)

I dunno.  I wouldn't mind seeing
	$ ping 555.12.12.xx
used for bogus addresses.

-s
-- 
Copyright 2000, All rights reserved.  Peter Seebach / seebs@plethora.net
C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter.  Boycott Spamazon!
Consulting & Computers: http://www.plethora.net/

######

From: Howard S Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 23:23:01 -0500
Organization: Denim Software
Lines: 10
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71145

In article <3a3fd293@newsserver1.intergate.ca>, 
russmann_N_O_S_P_A_M_@intergate.ca wrote:

>At first glance I parsed this as "digesting tablet".  How you would swallow
>a 5x4 foot digesting tablet is beyond me...

sounds positively disgusting.

-- 
"...run in circles, scream and shout!"    I hope you have good backups.

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 19 Dec 2000 23:33:05 -0700
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Lines: 12
Message-ID: <1bhf3zbo0u.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71132

"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:
> 
> Near the end of the movie _Tron_ we heard the sound of a dot-matrix
> printer, and then the camera did a close-up of the printout - with
> the daisy-wheel printhead still visible.

Tron is very nearly a textbook on technological cluelessness.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 19 Dec 2000 23:36:38 -0700
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71135

merlyn@stonehenge.com (Randal L. Schwartz) writes:
> 
> It irritated me to see "The Net" (Sandra Bullock) use octet numbers
> over 255 for some of the IPs.  Why didn't they just use a net-10
> address? :)

I'm afraid that one went off into tech never-never-land early enough
that I barely remember the movie...  but that's the sort of detail
that, if I'm still conscious, drives me nuts.  the ones where it
wouldn't have been any harder -- wouldn't have even required a
throwaway line to patch over a plot hole -- and yet they still screw
it up.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 19 Dec 2000 23:37:37 -0700
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Lines: 12
Message-ID: <1bbsu7bnta.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3A3EC564.3932FCED@uchicago.edu> <1bn1dsyk7v.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <m11yv453jx.fsf@halfdome.holdit.com> <3a401ae8$0$89531$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net>
NNTP-Posting-Host: viper.cs.nmsu.edu
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71134

seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) writes:
> 
> I dunno.  I wouldn't mind seeing
> 	$ ping 555.12.12.xx
> used for bogus addresses.

That would move it back into the STIV in-joke league.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 09:35:56 -0000
Organization: Customer of Energis Squared
Lines: 17
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References: <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <521.388T1181T6494030@sky.bus.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71102

> In article <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com>
> rockinricky@WHAMMY.home.com (Richard Edwards) writes:
>
> >I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of
> >a laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.
>
> Near the end of the movie _Tron_ we heard the sound of a dot-matrix
> printer, and then the camera did a close-up of the printout - with
> the daisy-wheel printhead still visible.
>

I recall one UK television programme around 1981 having an episode where a
pub acquired a video game. It was one of the less popular ones, possibly
called Astro Wars (it is over 18 years since I last saw one). The sound they
overdubbed whilst the game was being played came from Missile Command.

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 03:54:29 -0600
Organization: Arargh!!
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71146

On 20 Dec 2000 02:35:21 GMT, seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) wrote:

>In article <m11yv453jx.fsf@halfdome.holdit.com>,
>Randal L. Schwartz <merlyn@stonehenge.com> wrote:
>>It irritated me to see "The Net" (Sandra Bullock)
>
>I love the way the movie is identified by the member of the cast whose
>private parts are most often compressed using image-compression algorithms.
>
>>use octet numbers
>>over 255 for some of the IPs.  Why didn't they just use a net-10
>>address? :)
>
>I dunno.  I wouldn't mind seeing
>	$ ping 555.12.12.xx
>used for bogus addresses.
Nice idea, but doesn't work very well: 
(tested with win98, but I bet the same problem exists elsewhere)

C:\>ping 555.12.12.12

Pinging 555.12.12.12 [43.12.12.12] with 32 bytes of data:

Reply from 207.229.129.243: Destination host unreachable.
Reply from 207.229.129.243: Destination host unreachable.

 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 13:22:29 -0000
Organization: Customer of Energis Squared
Lines: 20
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NNTP-Posting-Host: host94.bjss.co.uk
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71147

>
> There was a "Quinkey" keyboard on the market in England during the
> 1980's.  It was offered as an add-on to some home computers (BBC micro
> among others), and also in a portable computer called something like
> the "MicroWriter".  That had one (short!) line of text display, along
> with full word-processing capabilities.
>
> I never saw a real one, only read the ads and reviews.  I think it
> used "chording" (release several keys to form your character), with
> vaguely mnemonic finger patterns.  It did *not* require you to compose
> the ASCII bit codes.
>
> We have had this discussion on afc before, I am sure.
>

That's the one I mentioned elsewhere. I thought that 'MicroWriter' was the
actual name of the keyboard. ISTR it used 6 keys, one for each finger plus
two for the thumb. I knew someone who tested the pre-production models.

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 20 Dec 2000 16:52:27 -0000
Organization: The Linux Emporium
Message-ID: <91qo4b$j2d$1@polo.demon.co.uk>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91kral$1ic$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net> <mlevine-160F04.2029011812 <91qbm2$2f7$1@newsreaderg1.core.theplanet.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71124

In article <91qbm2$2f7$1@newsreaderg1.core.theplanet.net>,
Paul Grayson <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> There was a "Quinkey" keyboard on the market in England during the
>> 1980's.  It was offered as an add-on to some home computers (BBC micro
>> among others), and also in a portable computer called something like
>> the "MicroWriter".  That had one (short!) line of text display, along
>> with full word-processing capabilities.
>>
>> I never saw a real one, only read the ads and reviews.  I think it
>> used "chording" (release several keys to form your character), with
>> vaguely mnemonic finger patterns.  It did *not* require you to compose
>> the ASCII bit codes.
>>
>> We have had this discussion on afc before, I am sure.
>>
>
>That's the one I mentioned elsewhere. I thought that 'MicroWriter' was the
>actual name of the keyboard. ISTR it used 6 keys, one for each finger plus
>two for the thumb. I knew someone who tested the pre-production models.

I have in front of me an AgendA from MicroWriter Systems plc.  It has one
moulded key for each finger (including the thumb) then two more keys which
the thumb can reach labelled DIARY and CAPS.  ISTR you could get the whole
alphabet and some punctuation with just the basic 5 keys.

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 20 Dec 2000 16:53:24 -0000
Organization: The Linux Emporium
Message-ID: <91qo64$j33$1@polo.demon.co.uk>
References: <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <521.388T1181T6494030@sky.bus.com> <91pud9$dmj$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>
NNTP-Posting-Host: unseen.linuxemporium.co.uk
X-NNTP-Posting-Host: unseen.linuxemporium.co.uk:194.70.1.33
X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 977331788 nnrp-12:309 NO-IDENT unseen.linuxemporium.co.uk:194.70.1.33
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71123

In article <91pud9$dmj$1@newsreaderm1.core.theplanet.net>,
Paul Grayson <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> In article <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com>
>> rockinricky@WHAMMY.home.com (Richard Edwards) writes:
>>
>> >I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of
>> >a laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.
>>
>> Near the end of the movie _Tron_ we heard the sound of a dot-matrix
>> printer, and then the camera did a close-up of the printout - with
>> the daisy-wheel printhead still visible.
>>
>
>I recall one UK television programme around 1981 having an episode where a
>pub acquired a video game. It was one of the less popular ones, possibly
>called Astro Wars (it is over 18 years since I last saw one). The sound they
>overdubbed whilst the game was being played came from Missile Command.

You're laying yourself open to the sort of abuse I get for remembering
postcodes.  :-)

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

Message-ID: <3A40EC44.37CC2A6A@uchicago.edu>
From: Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
Organization: University of Chicago
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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russmann_N_O_S_P_A_M_@intergate.ca wrote:
> 
> Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu> wrote:
> 
> > In our lab we have a 5 foot by 4 foot digitising tablet.
> 
> <delurk>
> At first glance I parsed this as "digesting tablet".  How you would swallow
> a 5x4 foot digesting tablet is beyond me...
> </delurk

--- End All Eating Related Blues ---
"The Digesting Table(tm)" converts whatever foodstuffs you place on it
into a greeny-brown mush. Simply scoop up said mush into glass and
drink. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.

--
Simon Allaway          |  "Computer games don't affect kids, if Pac Man 
University of Chicago  |   affected us as kids, we'd all be running 
Anthropology           |   around in darkened rooms, munching pills 
5-4390  Haskell Hall   |   and listening to repetitive music."

######

From: gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 18:30:46 GMT
Organization: Deja.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71120

In article <3a3f9a8c.162787@news.shuswap.net>,
  genew@shuswap.net wrote:
> "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
> >I curse those newly fangled right-handed ergonomic mice. They force me to
> >use it right handed. How can I take notes whilst working?
>
>      Switch to the One True Handedness!
>
>      Why is it that right-handed mice are best used by left-handers
> and v.v.?

Because mice are poorly designed ill-thought malformed accursed primitive
pointing devices.

Many mice can be used with a fair degree of ease and comfort if you are lucky
enough to discover exactly the right grip for that mouse; but it's different
for every design. I have no trouble using right-handed ergomice in the left
hand, keeping the right-hand button mapping. The reason I have no trouble is
that I have learned to try many different grips on each new mouse. For the
typical RH ergomouse, it's just a bit more difficult to find the right grip,
that's all.

Why do they call them ergonomic, when they're so uncomfortable? They simply
design the mice with bigger tailfins and more chrome on the front grilles,
that's all. It pleases the uninformed public, and that's what it's for.

I cannot believe that any of these ergomice have been scientifically tested
for comfort or usability. They are uncomfortable and nearly unusable.
Somebody made it up out of whole cloth, the marketing director said that
looks cool let's call it ergonomic. Pfaugh!

Pardon me while I wipe the spittle off my screen.


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 20 Dec 00 12:11:13 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71160

In article <1bhf3zbo0u.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu
(Joe Pfeiffer) writes:

>"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:
>
>> Near the end of the movie _Tron_ we heard the sound of a dot-matrix
>> printer, and then the camera did a close-up of the printout - with
>> the daisy-wheel printhead still visible.
>
>Tron is very nearly a textbook on technological cluelessness.

Yes, but it was fun fantasy.

BTW did anyone else wonder about the Burroughs tie-in with MCP?

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 00 14:28:14 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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In article <luq44t8peud8tgk0ulqvagrkekqbu5o3b4@4ax.com>
elrondhOBFUSCATED@yahoo.com (Elrond Hubbard) writes:

>When I grow up, I want to be a movie producer. Then I'll make a movie
>in which the following things happen:

>- The hero sits down at a computer screen and beings typing. The
>words on the screen look like actual words on a real computer screen,
>complete with blinking cursor, not like anti-aliased animation created
>by an art-school graduate. Furthermore, the words will say something
>like "cat /home/zurg/secretplan", not "ACCESS ZURG'S SECRET PLAN".

And his typing won't be accompanied by ridiculous beeps - or,
even worse, by the klunk-klunk-klunk of a Teletype.  And the
displayed response won't have any noises at all.

This sounds like that essay that appeared a while ago, by someone
who enumerated all of the stupid movie mistakes that he wouldn't
make if he were an Evil Overlord.

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 00 14:33:49 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71185

In article <ilq44tks825bs0omb6f5dcc2sfjr2st042@4ax.com>
elrondhOBFUSCATED@yahoo.com (Elrond Hubbard) writes:

>On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 20:18:12 -0600, Simon Allaway
><simona@uchicago.edu> wrote:
>
>>Sam Yorko wrote:
>>
>>> OTOH, Stan Freberg in his "History of the United States" albums,
>>> made sure the morse code sequences were accurate and relevant,
>>> even though very few people would get it.
>>
>>I admire that kind of attention to detail....it makes or breaks
>>movies for me. Perhaps I am too much of a geek though.
>
>In "Wolfenstein 3D", one of the MIDI tunes included some Morse code
>(for that genuine WW2 flavour), which actually spelled out a message.

At the end of the song "I'm Losing You" on John Lennon's "Double
Fantasy" there's some Morse code in the background.  I can't hear
all of it, but I can make out the words LOVE YOU.

On one episode of Max Headroom someone flips very rapidly
through screenfuls of code.  Using my VCR's freeze-frame I
was able to make out C code, but all it did was convert an
ASCII string to integer.

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 00 10:50:09 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
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In article 
<2086319F80ABCA07.90A1EC6AC5A5F6F8.FCBB232D214B442B@lp.airnews.net>,
   jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard) wrote:
>On 11 Dec 2000 23:19:41 GMT, Chris Hedley
><cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>>In article <slrn93akis.mga.hj@claire.two-wugs.net>,
>>	hj@pp.htv.fi (Herbie Jurvanen) writes:
>>> Forgive me for being dense, but if they can't spell their name right 
(and
>>> are thus presumably misspelling their login), then how does the machine 
know
>>> which account to suspend?
>>ISTR it'll be quite happy to suspend the terminal if an account's not
>>available...
>
>....which can make life really interesting if you do it on the system
>console. The first time I installed OS/400 on my machine, I did that...

You've got to be kidding.  Did these systems do the same thing
with a dial-in slot?

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 00 10:51:59 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 21
Message-ID: <91srba$df3$6@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71207

In article <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com>,
   jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
>>>> It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
>
>>>...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
>>>sentence is out, in clear text.
>
>>I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of a
>>laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.
>
>Gaaaaaaaaaaah!  Yet another part of the "Hollywood" special effects
>where dish antennas go "deedle deedle" and all communication lines
>give modem tones to prove that data is flowing!
<snip>

I just love the way you guys manage to convey sound with
spelling....deedle, indeed :-).

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: Pete Fenelon <pete@fenelon.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 19:14:30 -0000
Organization: Posted via Supernews, http://www.supernews.com
Message-ID: <t4218m4git2vac@corp.supernews.com>
Sender: Pete Fenelon <pete@omega.lovett.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71242

Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> wrote:
> 
> "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:
>> 
>> Near the end of the movie _Tron_ we heard the sound of a dot-matrix
>> printer, and then the camera did a close-up of the printout - with
>> the daisy-wheel printhead still visible.
> 
> Tron is very nearly a textbook on technological cluelessness.


Aaaah, but the marvellous band Man Or Astroman use it as backing
visuals when they're playing. :) (Actually, their live show is
phenomenal. As well as absolutely bloody marvellous twangtastic
surfpunk, often including theremins!!!, they have conjured up
amazing backing tapes that seem to be a mix of old documentaries
about the space programme, civil defence films, old TV shows and
ads about computers, and cheesy sci-fi from the 50s to the 80s --
including Tron!)

If you ever get the chance, go and see them.

pete

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 20:56:37 GMT
Message-ID: <977345797.9231.0.nnrp-13.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>
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John Winters <john@polo.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <91qbm2$2f7$1@newsreaderg1.core.theplanet.net>,
>Paul Grayson <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> There was a "Quinkey" keyboard on the market in England during the
>>> 1980's.  It was offered as an add-on to some home computers (BBC micro
>>> among others), and also in a portable computer called something like
>>> the "MicroWriter".  That had one (short!) line of text display, along
>>> with full word-processing capabilities.
<snip>
>>
>>That's the one I mentioned elsewhere. I thought that 'MicroWriter' was the
>>actual name of the keyboard. ISTR it used 6 keys, one for each finger plus
>>two for the thumb. I knew someone who tested the pre-production models.

>I have in front of me an AgendA from MicroWriter Systems plc.  It has one
>moulded key for each finger (including the thumb) then two more keys which
>the thumb can reach labelled DIARY and CAPS.  ISTR you could get the whole
>alphabet and some punctuation with just the basic 5 keys.

I've got one in front of me too, (well, on a shelf in front of me)
I found it to be hard to use, the keys were very sensitive.
I think I'd have been significantly faster if the keys took twice the force
to depress.

Diary+keys got you numbers, Caps+diary+keys IIRC got you extended punctuation
and command keys.

-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
Two fish in a tank: one says to the other, "you know how to drive this thing??"

######

From: jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 2000 02:11:37 GMT
Organization: Neosoft (using Airnews.net!)
Lines: 12
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On Fri, 15 Dec 2000 20:49:42 GMT, gnohmon8715@my-deja.com
<gnohmon8715@my-deja.com> wrote:
>No discussion is necessary. I *really* can't bear another luser spreading the
>invented-the-internet lie, and I *will* post a correction to every single
>fscking one I happen to see. The sin is theirs, not mine. When they stop
>doing it, I will have no need to correct them.

I can't bear another luser spreading the spin controlled version.

"During my service in Congress, I took the initiative in creating the
Internet." Those were his exact words. To someone outside the Beltway, they
mean that he's taking credit for creating the Internet.

######

From: jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 2000 02:34:02 GMT
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On 11 Dec 2000 23:19:41 GMT, Chris Hedley
<cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <slrn93akis.mga.hj@claire.two-wugs.net>,
>	hj@pp.htv.fi (Herbie Jurvanen) writes:
>> Forgive me for being dense, but if they can't spell their name right (and
>> are thus presumably misspelling their login), then how does the machine know
>> which account to suspend?
>ISTR it'll be quite happy to suspend the terminal if an account's not
>available...

...which can make life really interesting if you do it on the system
console. The first time I installed OS/400 on my machine, I did that...

######

From: jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 2000 03:53:00 -0500
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>>> It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.

>>...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
>>sentence is out, in clear text.

>I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of a
>laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.

Gaaaaaaaaaaah!  Yet another part of the "Hollywood" special effects
where dish antennas go "deedle deedle" and all communication lines
give modem tones to prove that data is flowing!


in movies: a car hitting a hydrant results in water spewing everywhere
in reality: the valve is deep in the ground and no water leaks out

in movies: cars burst into flames when falling off roads or in severe accidents
in reality: the car endures, the people inside don't.

etc etc etc ad. nausium
-- 
Jeffrey Jonas
jeffj@panix(dot)com
The original Dr. JCL and Mr .hide

######

From: Dave Roberts <DaveRoberts@southam2000.screaming.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 09:58:37 +0000
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I used to have one of these  .. don't know when it got thrown out.  It was easy
to use except for two things:

    the interconnect with the PC was not at all reliable so I rarely got data
back on my PC

    the keys were not that positive in their feel so it was sometimes a bit
difficult to tell what you were pressing.

It was very easy to learn because they had good mnemonics for the key patterns
for letters.

I got a chord keyboard for my PC a while later but that was a) not reliable
when plugged in to a running machine (I use a laptop) and b) hard to learn
because there no good mnemonics for the key patterns.

John Winters wrote:

> In article <91qbm2$2f7$1@newsreaderg1.core.theplanet.net>,
> Paul Grayson <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> There was a "Quinkey" keyboard on the market in England during the
> >> 1980's.  It was offered as an add-on to some home computers (BBC micro
> >> among others), and also in a portable computer called something like
> >> the "MicroWriter".  That had one (short!) line of text display, along
> >> with full word-processing capabilities.
> >>
> >> I never saw a real one, only read the ads and reviews.  I think it
> >> used "chording" (release several keys to form your character), with
> >> vaguely mnemonic finger patterns.  It did *not* require you to compose
> >> the ASCII bit codes.
> >>
> >> We have had this discussion on afc before, I am sure.
> >>
> >
> >That's the one I mentioned elsewhere. I thought that 'MicroWriter' was the
> >actual name of the keyboard. ISTR it used 6 keys, one for each finger plus
> >two for the thumb. I knew someone who tested the pre-production models.
>
> I have in front of me an AgendA from MicroWriter Systems plc.  It has one
> moulded key for each finger (including the thumb) then two more keys which
> the thumb can reach labelled DIARY and CAPS.  ISTR you could get the whole
> alphabet and some punctuation with just the basic 5 keys.
>
> John
> --
> John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.
>
> The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
> See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

From: D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 04:04:00 -0600
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jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
[]Gaaaaaaaaaaah!  Yet another part of the "Hollywood" special effects
[]where dish antennas go "deedle deedle" and all communication lines
[]give modem tones to prove that data is flowing!

I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
your examples.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 3, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 2000 14:36:31 GMT
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"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:

>Joe Pfeiffer writes:

>>"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:

>>Tron is very nearly a textbook on technological cluelessness.

>Yes, but it was fun fantasy.

>BTW did anyone else wonder about the Burroughs tie-in with MCP?

Well...for anyone exposed to a Burroughs mainframe it was a little
hard *not* to notice it and wonder what (if anything) was behind
the reference...and also wonder what the reaction at Burroughs'
PR firm was if they hadn't been contacted by the studio.

Of course, that assumes that Burroughs *had* a PR firm.  One the more
printable nicknames for Burroughs was "the secret computer company"
because of its lack of advertising.

Joe Morris

######

From: Elrond Hubbard <elrondhOBFUSCATED@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 15:42:22 -0500
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On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 20:18:12 -0600, Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
wrote:

>Sam Yorko wrote:
>
>> OTOH, Stan Freberg in his "History of the United States" albums, made
>> sure the morse code sequences were accurate and relevant, even though
>> very few people would get it.
>
>I admire that kind of attention to detail....it makes or breaks movies
>for me. Perhaps I am too much of a geek though.

In "Wolfenstein 3D", one of the MIDI tunes included some Morse code (for
that genuine WW2 flavour), which actually spelled out a message.


Elrond Hubbard
elrondh [at] yahoo [dot] com

######

From: Elrond Hubbard <elrondhOBFUSCATED@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 16:04:27 -0500
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On Thu, 21 Dec 2000 04:04:00 -0600, D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com> wrote:

>
>jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
>[]Gaaaaaaaaaaah!  Yet another part of the "Hollywood" special effects
>[]where dish antennas go "deedle deedle" and all communication lines
>[]give modem tones to prove that data is flowing!
>
>I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
>of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
>your examples.

When I grow up, I want to be a movie producer. Then I'll make a movie in
which the following things happen:

- The hero sits down at a computer screen and beings typing. The words on
the screen look like actual words on a real computer screen, complete with
blinking cursor, not like anti-aliased animation created by an art-school
graduate. Furthermore, the words will say something like "cat
/home/zurg/secretplan", not "ACCESS ZURG'S SECRET PLAN".

- The hero needs to create a diversion while he plans his escape from the
villain's lair, so he puts a match to a ceiling sprinkler. The fire alarm
fails to go off and the hero gets soaked. The villain then enters the
hero's cell and shoots him in the nuts; then, as the hero lies writhing in
pain, the villain calmly explains that fire alarm circuits are separate
from sprinklers.

- The hero, at the wheel of a runaway bus, tries to jump the vehicle across
a twenty-metre gap in the elevated highway. However, since the road at
other side of the jump is at exactly the same height as the road at this
side, the bus smashes into the lip of the roadway and tumbles to its fiery
destruction.


Elrond Hubbard
elrondh [at] yahoo [dot] com

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 2000 21:13:41 GMT
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In article <2086319F80ABCA07.90A1EC6AC5A5F6F8.FCBB232D214B442B@lp.airnews.net>,
	jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard) writes:
> ...which can make life really interesting if you do it on the system
> console. The first time I installed OS/400 on my machine, I did that...

I've managed to do that on a Unix (SVR3.0) system once as well... I think
we had to boot the thing from tape to get it back again.

Chris.

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 2000 21:17:47 GMT
Organization: teabag
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In article <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com>,
	D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com> writes:
> I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
> of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
> your examples.

You'd have thought they'd have stopped doing it now that computers are
more commonplace, but even now you still see films where the computer
goes "beep beep" etc when things are being displayed on the screen.  My
other favourite is seeing a terminal with "ACCESS DENIED" in big flashing
letters where in reality you get the more dull, normal-font "Login
incorrect" or "User authentication failed" message.

Chris.

######

Message-ID: <3A42764B.B7023B8A@uchicago.edu>
From: Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
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Elrond Hubbard wrote:
> 
>
> >I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
> >of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
> >your examples.
> 
> When I grow up, I want to be a movie producer. Then I'll make a movie in
> which the following things happen:
> <snip real behaviour>

... or when the forensic scientist captures some security camera footage
and displays it on the screen, the detective points to a small detail on
a freeze-frame and asks "Can you enhance that?". Sadly the computer
fails to produce a green outline of a rectangle that goes
"feep..feep..feep" as it homes in on the spot with cross-hairs. The
scientist says, "Sorry mate, this is video. We can't get something from
nothing."

Please excuse the atrocious script. You get the idea.

Simon

######

From: "donald tees" <donald@willmack.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Elrond Hubbard wrote in message ...
>On Thu, 21 Dec 2000 04:04:00 -0600, D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com> wrote:

>- The hero needs to create a diversion while he plans his escape from the
>villain's lair, so he puts a match to a ceiling sprinkler. The fire alarm
>fails to go off and the hero gets soaked. The villain then enters the
>hero's cell and shoots him in the nuts; then, as the hero lies writhing in
>pain, the villain calmly explains that fire alarm circuits are separate
>from sprinklers.

Well, you would be as wrong as the films on that one.  Not only will
any variation in water pressure set off the fire alarm, but it will do it
without electricity for good systems.  In this building, the "water gong"
is loud enough to be heard a block or two away, and it is rung by the
simple flow of water through the sprinkler system.  I have a five inch
main entering my loft.  When you knock off a sprinkler head, it gets
quite exciting, not to mention wet.  The system was designed in 1942,
so this is not new technology.  The room was originally designed for
bomb construction, so the technology was probably state of the art
at the time.  It is definitely enough to wake you, even when close to
dead.

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
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      <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> 
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From: jata@aepiax.net (Julian Thomas)
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <3a428404$2$wg$mr2ice@news.epix.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71230

In <91lbot$po0$1@nnrp1.deja.com>, on 12/18/00 
   at 03:50 PM, gnohmon8715@my-deja.com said:

>> You want to REALLY mess with my head?  Put your mouse or trackball
>> on the LEFT and DON'T swap the buttons!

>That's what I do.

My wife is lefthanded, so the mouse is on the left side of her keyboard. 
However the buttons have not been swapped - she doesn't mind and if they
were, I wouldn't be able to do anything on her machine.
 
--
 Julian Thomas: jt . epix @ net  http://home.epix.net/~jt
 remove letter a for email (or switch . and @)
 In the beautiful Finger Lakes Wine Country of New York State!
 Boardmember of POSSI.org - Phoenix OS/2 Society, Inc 
http://www.possi.org
 -- --
 One man's Windows are another man's walls.

######

From: gorilla@elaine.furryape.com (Alan Barclay)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 21 Dec 2000 23:33:29 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71231

In article <1000.390T712T8684453@sky.bus.com>,
Charlie Gibbs <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> wrote:
>This sounds like that essay that appeared a while ago, by someone
>who enumerated all of the stupid movie mistakes that he wouldn't
>make if he were an Evil Overlord.

http://www.eviloverlord.com

######

From: Malcolm Purvis <malcolm.purvis@alcatel.com.au>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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>>>>> "Jeff" == Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com> writes:

Jeff> in movies: cars burst into flames when falling off roads or in severe
Jeff> accidents in reality: the car endures, the people inside don't.

As an Australian, I suffered culture shock while watching Mission Impossible 2
where the locally made cars where exploding at the slightest provocation.  My
first thought was: "Hey!  Our cars are made just as poorly as the American
ones!"

Malcolm
-- 
	Tools Administrator, SRD Tools & Technology, Alcatel Australia
			malcolm.purvis@alcatel.com.au

######

From: bhk@dsl.co.uk (Brian {Hamilton Kelly})
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 01:12:15 GMT
Organization: Dragonhill Systems Ltd
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In article <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com>
           djim55@boingydatasync.com "D.J." writes:

> jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
> []Gaaaaaaaaaaah!  Yet another part of the "Hollywood" special effects
> []where dish antennas go "deedle deedle" and all communication lines
> []give modem tones to prove that data is flowing!
> 
> I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
> of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
> your examples.

The same way that they all believe that sound travels as fast as light; I
think that I've only ever seen ONE film in which a distant gun was heard
AFTER the flash is seen.  Even a couple of hundred metres is noticeable
to the human observer (but not, apparently, to the camera).

-- 
Brian {Hamilton Kelly}                                          bhk@dsl.co.uk
    "We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of
    distributed ignorance.  And we know and understand less while being incr-
    easingly capable."                          Prof. Peter Cochrane, BT Labs

######

From: "David C. Barber" <dbarber@cts.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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"Elrond Hubbard" <elrondhOBFUSCATED@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:luq44t8peud8tgk0ulqvagrkekqbu5o3b4@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 21 Dec 2000 04:04:00 -0600, D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
wrote:
>
> >
>
> When I grow up, I want to be a movie producer. Then I'll make a movie in
> which the following things happen:
>
Add the following:

After the villain -- living in the old, moldy castle at the top of the hill
reached by the one lane road cut into the steep cliffside -- has his
henchman disable the brakes on the hero's car, the hero calmly pulls the
transmission into low gear.  If this is not enough braking, he turns off the
engine -- being easily strong enough to steer his small sports car without
the power steering boost.

    *David Barber*

######

From: Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:01:23 +0000
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Sam Yorko wrote:
 ...
> OTOH, Stan Freberg in his "History of the United States" albums, made
> sure the morse code sequences were accurate and relevant, even though
> very few people would get it.

In a similar vein: the old National Lampoon magazine did a parody
of Mad magazine (the sophomoric parodying the adolescent, but still
treasured).  It included its own rendition of the "Spy vs. Spy" cartoon
panel, done in Mad by Antonio Phohias, a Cuban immigrant. This
cartoon traditionally had some Morse characters at the top.

The NL version's Morse read

  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...

	Dennis

######

From: Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:06:56 +0000
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71181



Malcolm Purvis wrote:
 ...
> As an Australian, I suffered culture shock while watching Mission Impossible 2 ...

What was your reaction when you learned that Mel Gibson's voice in Max Max
was dubbed from Australian for the US market?

	Dennis

######

From: jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 03:32:36 GMT
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On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:01:23 +0000, Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
>The NL version's Morse read
>  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...

Gusanos?

######

Message-ID: <3A42CBCA.CE2E808D@ev1.net>
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 19:34:34 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Brian {Hamilton Kelly} wrote:
> 
>      [snip...]     [snip...]      [snip...]
> 
> [Fx: mutter, mutter; I saw a newspaper report the other day where a
> supposedly scientific reporter referred to a "spinal chord".  WTF do they
> teach journalists nowadays, because it certainly isn't spelling or
> grammar?]
> 
It has been my experience that reports and journalists will say damn near
anything!!!  When advertising the newscast, I heard a newscaster say
that progress had been made on curing multiple sclerosis...and in the
newscast it turned out they were talking about muscular distrophy. Now
these are two very different diseases, but IMHO the news people do *not* 
give a fat rat's ass as long as they have a story. The facts be damned!!!

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: "GerardS" <gerardS@prairietech.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
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| Jay Maynard wrote: 
|> Dennis Ritchie wrote:
|>The NL version's Morse read
|>  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...
| 
| Gusanos?


---- it must lose something in the translation, or somebody doesn't
know Morse code very well.

Gerard S.

######

Message-ID: <3A42D27F.D4F309B8@ev1.net>
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 20:03:12 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <91d7rd$n8j$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <1b4s0563zh.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <1bsnnoqn3e.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91jpkc$v90$1@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <1b8zpee7nr.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com>
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Richard Edwards wrote:
> 
> On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 11:34:46 -0600, Simon Allaway
> <simona@uchicago.edu> wrote:
> 
> >Charles Richmond wrote:
> >>
> >> It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
> >> They send
> >> a page or two of message by tapping out enough on the key for about 20
> >> or 30 characters.
> >
> >...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
> >sentence is out, in clear text.
> >
> 
> I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of a
> laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.
> 
And if you listen to the theme music from any major TV newscast in the U.S.,
you will hear styalized sounds of a teletype. Somehow the teletype (actually
teleprinter) got identified with "hot" breaking news, and although this is
now quite archaic, I suppose subconsciously people can still get a rush from
hearing the teleprinter sounds...

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: Eric Fischer <enf@pobox.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 04:27:37 GMT
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Charles Richmond  <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:

> Somehow the teletype (actually teleprinter) got identified with "hot"
> breaking news, and although this is now quite archaic...

What's the distinction you're making between teletype and teleprinter?
Just that not all teleprinters were manufactured by Teletype?

eric

######

From: Eric Fischer <enf@pobox.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 04:32:48 GMT
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Dave Roberts  <DaveRoberts@southam2000.screaming.net> wrote:

> I got a chord keyboard for my PC a while later but that was a) not reliable
> when plugged in to a running machine (I use a laptop) and b) hard to learn
> because there no good mnemonics for the key patterns.

When the Baudot printing telegraph first appeared, it was claimed to
require much less training than the earlier Hughes printing telegraph.
It's hard to imagine how that could be, since Baudot operators had to
memorize the system's five-bit code to use its chorded keyboard, while
the Hughes had a key for each character.

eric

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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In article <1142.390T2495T8735780@sky.bus.com>, "Charlie Gibbs"
<cgibbs@sky.bus.com> wrote:

> On one episode of Max Headroom someone flips very rapidly
> through screenfuls of code.  Using my VCR's freeze-frame I
> was able to make out C code, but all it did was convert an
> ASCII string to integer.

On one episode of (the TV version of) Dilbert, Wally is called upon to fix
the old, non-Y2K-compliant COBOL code. We see a glimpse of it onscreen.

Oddly, I don't remember COBOL permitting the construct

    cout << lotsOfOtherStuff << etCetera;

-Ron Hunsinger

######

Message-ID: <3A42DA8F.8F94B476@ev1.net>
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 20:37:35 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
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Jeff Jonas wrote:
> 
> >>> It's like some of the movies where telegraph messages are being sent.
> 
> >>...or morse code in war movies. A couple of dit-dahs and a whole
> >>sentence is out, in clear text.
> 
> >I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of a
> >laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.
> 
> Gaaaaaaaaaaah!  Yet another part of the "Hollywood" special effects
> where dish antennas go "deedle deedle" and all communication lines
> give modem tones to prove that data is flowing!
> 
> in movies: a car hitting a hydrant results in water spewing everywhere
> in reality: the valve is deep in the ground and no water leaks out
> 
> in movies: cars burst into flames when falling off roads or in severe accidents
> in reality: the car endures, the people inside don't.
> 
Well, sometimes cars *do* burst into flames, unfortunately. The Pinto is
a prime
example. The Ford Pinto (sold in the U.S.) had a gas tank in the rear
that tended
to explode if the car was hit from behind at approximately 30 miles per
hour. 
Ford got sued over this defect. I also remember seeing on TV that the
Ford Mustang
of the 1960's had a problem. It seems that if the car hit something, the
gas tank
would break open in the rear of the car, spilling gasoline on all the occupants.
Often this caught fire, and people were burned severely. (The reason for
the present
concern is that the 1960's Ford Mustang is a car that people like to
restore and
drive around *now*.)

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A42DBBC.B717EF05@ev1.net>
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 20:42:36 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
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	    <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu>
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Chris Hedley wrote:
> 
> In article <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com>,
>         D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com> writes:
> > I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
> > of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
> > your examples.
> 
> You'd have thought they'd have stopped doing it now that computers are
> more commonplace, but even now you still see films where the computer
> goes "beep beep" etc when things are being displayed on the screen.  My
> other favourite is seeing a terminal with "ACCESS DENIED" in big flashing
> letters where in reality you get the more dull, normal-font "Login
> incorrect" or "User authentication failed" message.
> 
Science fiction movies still like to represent computers with tape drives
and large panels of blinkenlights. Only since this is futuristic, the 
blinkenlights are in several different colors.

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: Eric Fischer <enf@pobox.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 05:01:22 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71198

Ron Hunsinger <hnsngr@sirius.com> quotes Charlie Gibbs:

> > On one episode of Max Headroom someone flips very rapidly through
> > screenfuls of code.  Using my VCR's freeze-frame I was able to make
> > out C code, but all it did was convert an ASCII string to integer.
> 
> On one episode of (the TV version of) Dilbert, Wally is called upon to fix
> the old, non-Y2K-compliant COBOL code. We see a glimpse of it onscreen.
> Oddly, I don't remember COBOL permitting the construct
> 
>     cout << lotsOfOtherStuff << etCetera;

If I'm remembering right, in the movie Terminator 2 when you see code
scrolling by inside the mind of the Terminator, it's a genuine COBOL
program.  (And in the first Terminator movie, a disassembly of some
6502 machine language, reputedly a routine to relocate Apple DOS into
the Language Card.)

eric

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <hnsngr-ya023180002112002111010001@news.flash.net>
References: <3A42C403.7AB55CE1@bell-labs.com> <D8839E59A958E290.1ED63A515FF70DFE.6FBFA2CAC3D891B6@lp.airnews.net>
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In article
<D8839E59A958E290.1ED63A515FF70DFE.6FBFA2CAC3D891B6@lp.airnews.net>,
jmaynard@conmicro.cx wrote:

> On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:01:23 +0000, Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
> >The NL version's Morse read
> >  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...
> 
> Gusanos?

Spanish for worms (including grubs and maggots). Not sure exactly what is
intended.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 23:18:10 -0600
Organization: Arargh!!
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71282

On 21 Dec 2000 03:53:00 -0500, jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:

<snip>
>in movies: a car hitting a hydrant results in water spewing everywhere
>in reality: the valve is deep in the ground and no water leaks out
<snip>
Depends upon what part of the country you live in.  In places where it
gets cccccold, like, say, Chicago, what you said is quite true.
However, in some warmer places, the valve actually is at the top, and
you get the spewing everywhere bit.

 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <hnsngr-ya023180002112002136170001@news.flash.net>
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In article <luq44t8peud8tgk0ulqvagrkekqbu5o3b4@4ax.com>, Elrond Hubbard
<elrondhOBFUSCATED@yahoo.com> wrote:

> When I grow up, I want to be a movie producer. Then I'll make a movie in
> which the following things happen:

Somebody gets rained on, and does *not* die of pneumonia as a result.
(Pasteur's germ theory of disease is only over a century old. You'd think
by now *someone* would get the concept.)

Somebody gets knocked out by a blow to the head, and does not wake up a
little later as if from normal sleep. (A concussion is a non-trivial brain
injury. It takes a long time to get normal brain function back, comparable
to the time it takes for a bruise to go away. Assuming you do get full
brain function back, something which is not assured. Which leads us to...)

The hero says "Knock me out, so the bad guys will believe we're not in
cahoots." You do, and the hero spends the rest of his life in a coma.

An amnesia victim gets hit on the head, and does not regain full memory.
(Amnesia caused by physical trauma is permanent.)

Somebody shoots somebody else, and it's the shooter who feels the recoil,
not the shootee.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: "Jack Gavin" <jackgavinSPAMLESS@home.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
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Arargh! wrote in message <9un54tgmh7rm75p0gms2quik26evqlhkt7@4ax.com>...
>On 21 Dec 2000 03:53:00 -0500, jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
>
><snip>
>>in movies: a car hitting a hydrant results in water spewing everywhere
>>in reality: the valve is deep in the ground and no water leaks out
><snip>
>Depends upon what part of the country you live in.  In places where it
>gets cccccold, like, say, Chicago, what you said is quite true.
>However, in some warmer places, the valve actually is at the top, and
>you get the spewing everywhere bit.

I sorta remember that happening during the police chase of a tank in San
Diego.

Unfortunately, even though I've found a link to the video, my browser will
not cooperate.  Maybe some else will have beter technical luck, and will
report any hydrant encounters.

Go to <http://www.apbonline.com/videocenter/chases/index.html> and try
"Stolen Tank on the Loose".

--
Jack Gavin

######

From: "Hannu Helminen" <Hannu.Helminen@no.sp.am.lifechart.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 08:28:16 +0200
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> At the end of the song "I'm Losing You" on John Lennon's "Double
> Fantasy" there's some Morse code in the background.  I can't hear
> all of it, but I can make out the words LOVE YOU.

By the way, have you noticed that the default short signal for incoming SMS
messages in Nokia cellular phones is actually a message in Morse code. Many
people have listened to it hundrends of times and then suddenly they realize
this...

Your mileage may wary, not all operators have SMS messages (especially in
the US?)

--dm

Was "topic drift" originally invented in alt.folklore.computers?

######

From: jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 01:52:43 -0500
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>[]Gaaaaaaaaaaah!  Yet another part of the "Hollywood" special effects
>[]where dish antennas go "deedle deedle" and all communication lines
>[]give modem tones to prove that data is flowing!

>I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
>of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
>your examples.

Well, to play devil's advocate, the foley / sound effects folks
are good at creating MOODS and convey things via sound.
I recall an NPR interview with the guy who creats sound effects for
movies lika "Apocalypse Now" where the sounds were not TECHNICALLY correct
(ex: helocopter sounds were not used for the helicopter)
but created the proper mood or conveyed the information correctly.

I'm hard put to find some visual or aural way to convey data communication
other than the "traditional" hokey sound effects.

Like cartoon sound effects, it's a shorthand for conveying information.

My pet peeve: scenes like the bridge of the Star Trek Enterprise during
a fight.  The cap't ought to be giving commands using some shorthand notation
direct to the others, not shouting them out.
[Klingon is far superior to English for battle commands,
using one short word for what requires long sentences in English]
BUT - how are we a viewers to follow the action since it's TV?
[subtitling is fine by me but too many folks frown upon that,
thus the preferance for dubbed films]
In a comic or book, time can be dilated with narrative,
detailed drawings, expansions, etc.
ON TV, it's usually 1:1 time.
If the cap't were telepathic and holding a dozen separate conversations
at once, how is the mere human audience to follow?

So it's kinda like the comment:
it's the worst possible form of xxx, except for all the others we've tried.



In a way, I lament the way all the current technology has no real sound.
Daisy wheel, dot matrix, chain, drum printers were loud and annoying to be near,
but at a distance, you could tell what they were doing and how well.
Laser printers barely make a click while paper feeding
and sound about the same for a blank page of a page full of print or graphics.
Fax machines give a hint as to the page's density by the
speed of the hum of the paper advancing.
-- 
Jeffrey Jonas
jeffj@panix(dot)com
The original Dr. JCL and Mr .hide

######

From: bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> writes:

>It has been my experience that reports and journalists will say damn near
>anything!!!  When advertising the newscast, I heard a newscaster say
>that progress had been made on curing multiple sclerosis...and in the
>newscast it turned out they were talking about muscular distrophy. Now
>these are two very different diseases, but IMHO the news people do *not* 
>give a fat rat's ass as long as they have a story. The facts be damned!!!

Over here down under, the valiant newscasters recently alerted us to the
fact that there had been a "chemical spill" in a road tunnel, but that
the emergency services had "contained" it. The chemical in question? Well,
liquid nitrogen ;-). I still wonder how they "contained" a spill of liquid
nitrogen....

Bernie
-- 
The coulour of the cat doesn't matter, as long as it catches the mice
Deng Xiaoping
Paramount leader of China since the late 1970s
Financial Times, 18 December 1986

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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> > I've even seen TV commercials where a document is seen coming out of a
> > laser printer - accompanied by the sounds of a dot-matrix printer.
> >
> And if you listen to the theme music from any major TV newscast in the
U.S.,
> you will hear styalized sounds of a teletype. Somehow the teletype
(actually
> teleprinter) got identified with "hot" breaking news, and although this is
> now quite archaic, I suppose subconsciously people can still get a rush
from
> hearing the teleprinter sounds...
>

BBC television at around 4.45pm on a Saturday afternoon shows the national
football results as they come in from the news agency. They used to place a
camera directly in front of a teletype/teleprinter (they referred to it as a
teleprinter at the time). Around 20 years ago they replaced it with what
they referred to as a videoprinter, but still dubbed on the teleprinter
sounds. They may still do so.

######

From: "Paul Grayson" <mu0yc3@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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> It has been my experience that reports and journalists will say damn near
> anything!!!  When advertising the newscast, I heard a newscaster say
> that progress had been made on curing multiple sclerosis...and in the
> newscast it turned out they were talking about muscular distrophy. Now
> these are two very different diseases, but IMHO the news people do *not*
> give a fat rat's ass as long as they have a story. The facts be damned!!!
>

I listen to BBC radio on the way into work, and often I hear simillar
things, usually on a subject that requires some knowledge. Often this is due
to an inaccuracy in the report compiled by the Press Association, a UK news
agency.

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 09:42:03 -0000
Organization: The Linux Emporium
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In article <91v6co$csp$1@newsreaderg1.core.theplanet.net>,
Paul Grayson <mu0yc3@hotmail.com> wrote:
[snip]
>
>BBC television at around 4.45pm on a Saturday afternoon shows the national
>football results as they come in from the news agency. They used to place a
>camera directly in front of a teletype/teleprinter (they referred to it as a
>teleprinter at the time). Around 20 years ago they replaced it with what
>they referred to as a videoprinter, but still dubbed on the teleprinter
>sounds. They may still do so.

The last time I looked the characters still appeared on the videoprinter
at the speed of a teleprinter as well.

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

From: tietze@mac.com (=?ISO-8859-1?Q?J=F8rgen_Tietze?=)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:


> Well, sometimes cars *do* burst into flames, unfortunately. The Pinto is
> a prime
> example. The Ford Pinto (sold in the U.S.) had a gas tank in the rear
> that tended
> to explode if the car was hit from behind at approximately 30 miles per
> hour. 

I can't stop thinking about "Fight Club" when you mention that kind of
accident ;o)

~ Jørgen

######

Sender: lynn@LYNNPC
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
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Eric Fischer <enf@pobox.com> writes:
> If I'm remembering right, in the movie Terminator 2 when you see code
> scrolling by inside the mind of the Terminator, it's a genuine COBOL
> program.  (And in the first Terminator movie, a disassembly of some
> 6502 machine language, reputedly a routine to relocate Apple DOS into
> the Language Card.)

in the mid-80s on a visit to the madrid science center ... they were
doing a project with the university ... digitizing a lot of stuff as
part of getting ready for 1492 anniversity

while there I went to a movie in downtown madrid, in a addition to the
movie they had a 15 minute short ... produced at the univerisity ... a
very surrelistic thing that I didn't completely follow ... but
prominate was a wall of tv sets which were all scrolling the same text
at 1200 baud. imagine my astonisment when i recognized a vm/370 kernel
"load map" ... what's worse I could tell the year & month of the
kernel build.

-- 
Anne & Lynn Wheeler   | lynn@garlic.com -  http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ 

######

Sender: lynn@LYNNPC
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <91jpkc$v90$1@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <ilq44tks825bs0omb6f5dcc2sfjr2st042@4ax.com> <1142.390T2495T8735780@sky.bus.com> <hnsngr-ya023180002112002037470001@news.flash.net> <91un72$3eu$1@bob.news.rcn.net> <uu27wk4lr.fsf@earthlink.net>
Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
From: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71229

Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:

> "load map" ... what's worse I could tell the year & month of the
> kernel build.

... based on the list of what fixes were present

-- 
Anne & Lynn Wheeler   | lynn@garlic.com -  http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ 

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 14:15:27 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71192

cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley) writes:

>D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com> writes:
>> I've come to the conclusion its because the directors and producers
>> of movies think this is what actually happens. And I do mean all of
>> your examples.

>You'd have thought they'd have stopped doing it now that computers are
>more commonplace, but even now you still see films where the computer
>goes "beep beep" etc when things are being displayed on the screen.  My
>other favourite is seeing a terminal with "ACCESS DENIED" in big flashing
>letters where in reality you get the more dull, normal-font "Login
>incorrect" or "User authentication failed" message.

...or you get a message box saying "WINLOGON.EXE has executed an
illegal instruction and will be terminated..."

And how many movie/TV shows have computer login scenes where the
password is echoed in cleartext?  The last time I saw that in real
life was in the early 1970s when mainframe systems started to get
half-duplex ASCII video terminals attached, and the old Teletype
password-obscuring trick of overtyping the printout *before* the
user entered the password would no longer work.

For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
login challenge as you might expect:

    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
    ENTER PASSWORD:
    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
    <user enters password here>

The three lines terminated by only <CR> are printed over each other,
leaving a mess on the paper into which the user would type the password,
making it difficult (but not impossible) to read the user's password
from the printout.  With the "glass TTY" terminals, each charcter written
to the screen replaced whatever was in that position, so the password
cleartext characters replaced the "X"s from the last overtype line.

Joe Morris

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 14:22:19 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71167

"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:

>On one episode of Max Headroom someone flips very rapidly
>through screenfuls of code.  Using my VCR's freeze-frame I
>was able to make out C code, but all it did was convert an
>ASCII string to integer.

Next time _2001_ is on TV, watch the console displays in the lunar
shuttle as it approaches the landing site.  The graphics I found
to be quite good as a cockpit display, but there is also a totally
idiotic display of code that repeatedly appears and disappears
(too quickly to be read) that has no business there.

Joe Morris

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 14:34:04 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71194

tietze@mac.com (=?ISO-8859-1?Q?J=F8rgen_Tietze?=) writes:

>Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:

>> Well, sometimes cars *do* burst into flames, unfortunately. The Pinto is
>> a prime example. The Ford Pinto (sold in the U.S.) had a gas tank in
>> the rear that tended to explode if the car was hit from behind at
>> approximately 30 miles per hour. 

>I can't stop thinking about "Fight Club" when you mention that kind of
>accident ;o)

...or the scene near the end of the parody movie _Top Secret_ where a
Pinto is rear-ended at what looks like a speed of about one inch/minute
and immediately explodes upon contact...

Joe Morris

######

From: bernie@innovative.iinet.net.au (Bernd Felsche)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 22:38:36 +0800
Organization: Innovative Reckoning
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71153

Malcolm Purvis <malcolm.purvis@alcatel.com.au> writes:

>>>>>> "Jeff" == Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com> writes:

>Jeff> in movies: cars burst into flames when falling off roads or in severe
>Jeff> accidents in reality: the car endures, the people inside don't.

>As an Australian, I suffered culture shock while watching Mission
>Impossible 2 where the locally made cars where exploding at the
>slightest provocation.  My first thought was: "Hey!  Our cars are
>made just as poorly as the American ones!"

I hope there was a 38 Minutes crew standing by.
-- 
 /"\  Bernd Felsche - Innovative Reckoning, Perth, Western Australia
 \ /      ASCII ribbon campaign | I'm a .signature virus!       |
  X       against HTML mail     | Copy me into your ~/.signature|
 / \      and postings          | to help me spread!            |

######

From: bernie@innovative.iinet.net.au (Bernd Felsche)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 22:40:28 +0800
Organization: Innovative Reckoning
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References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977178663snz@dsl.co.uk> <3A42CBCA.CE2E808D@ev1.net> <91v0j3$4ai$1@wombat.cs.monash.edu.au>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71154

bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au writes:

>Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> writes:

>>It has been my experience that reports and journalists will say damn near
>>anything!!!  When advertising the newscast, I heard a newscaster say
>>that progress had been made on curing multiple sclerosis...and in the
>>newscast it turned out they were talking about muscular distrophy. Now
>>these are two very different diseases, but IMHO the news people do *not* 
>>give a fat rat's ass as long as they have a story. The facts be damned!!!

>Over here down under, the valiant newscasters recently alerted us to the
>fact that there had been a "chemical spill" in a road tunnel, but that
>the emergency services had "contained" it. The chemical in question? Well,
>liquid nitrogen ;-). I still wonder how they "contained" a spill of liquid
>nitrogen....

Gingerly. :-)

I guess they put on the breathing aparatus and sat it out.
-- 
 /"\  Bernd Felsche - Innovative Reckoning, Perth, Western Australia
 \ /      ASCII ribbon campaign | I'm a .signature virus!       |
  X       against HTML mail     | Copy me into your ~/.signature|
 / \      and postings          | to help me spread!            |

######

From: eal@etek.chalmers.se (Andreas Långström)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 15:02:00 GMT
Organization: Chalmers University of Technology
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71236

Elrond Hubbard  <elrondhOBFUSCATED@yahoo.com> wrote:
>When I grow up, I want to be a movie producer. Then I'll make a movie in
>which the following things happen:
>
<znip>
>
>- The hero, at the wheel of a runaway bus, tries to jump the vehicle across
>a twenty-metre gap in the elevated highway. However, since the road at
>other side of the jump is at exactly the same height as the road at this
>side, the bus smashes into the lip of the roadway and tumbles to its fiery
>destruction.

Or it drives at least 250 km/h to be able to make it.

/Andreas

######

From: Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 15:24:47 GMT
Organization: IDT Internet Services
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71217

Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
[...]
: In a similar vein: the old National Lampoon magazine did a parody
: of Mad magazine (the sophomoric parodying the adolescent, but still
: treasured).  It included its own rendition of the "Spy vs. Spy" cartoon
: panel, done in Mad by Antonio Phohias, a Cuban immigrant. This
: cartoon traditionally had some Morse characters at the top.

: The NL version's Morse read

:   ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...

Is that last word spanish for "worms?" As in Mezcal having a "gusano" in
the bottle?

Please someone enlighten me to the "worm" reference.

BTW, the translator I used was:
http://www.soton.ac.uk/~scp93ch/morse/index.html?http://www.soton.ac.uk/~scp93ch/morse/trans.html

Eric

: 	Dennis

######

From: Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 15:26:56 GMT
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Jay Maynard <jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx> wrote:
: On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:01:23 +0000, Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
: >The NL version's Morse read
: >  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...

: Gusanos?

Spanish for "worms" as in the bottom of a Mezcal bottle. I'm as puzzled as
you are.  
 
Eric

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
From: "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ralphp@techie.com>
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71290

Howdy!

Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote in message
news:3A42DA8F.8F94B476@ev1.net...

> Well, sometimes cars *do* burst into flames, unfortunately. The Pinto is
> a prime
> example. The Ford Pinto (sold in the U.S.) had a gas tank in the rear
> that tended
> to explode if the car was hit from behind at approximately 30 miles per
> hour.
> Ford got sued over this defect. I also remember seeing on TV that the
> Ford Mustang
> of the 1960's had a problem. It seems that if the car hit something, the
> gas tank
> would break open in the rear of the car, spilling gasoline on all the
occupants.
> Often this caught fire, and people were burned severely. (The reason for
> the present
> concern is that the 1960's Ford Mustang is a car that people like to
> restore and
> drive around *now*.)

        The Mustang is the only vehicle I know of that the TOP of the gas
tank is the BOTTOM of the trunk (boot to UK readers).

        Not the best design possible.

        RwP

######

From: ddotpowell@netnospamscapeonline.co.uk (David Powell)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 20:20:24 GMT
Reply-To: ddotpowell@netscapeonline.co.uk
Message-ID: <3a43b65b.97564@newshost.netscapeonline.co.uk>
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On 19 Dec 2000 00:05:07 GMT, X@Y.Z.net (Jynx) wrote:

>On Mon, 18 Dec 2000 15:20:46 -0600, Simon Allaway scribbled:
>
>
>>He showed me a device
>>that has two positions on a horizontal axis. Dit in one direction and
>>dah in the other. 
>
>Called "paddles" -- used to 'drive' an electronic keyer.
>
>>With this device he told me he could do 50-60. 
>
>"...he could do 50-60" WPM (Words Per Minute), I'm sure.
>
>>He did point out that this was quick. 
>
Faster than many people can type with all ten digits in use.
Will someone please market a mouse with a morse key instead of the
centre button (and software support for it), O.K. I'm not going to get
50wpm, but at a steady15, that's  better than I get with one hand on
the mouse, the other on the keyboard - and I get one hand free for a
pencil. Whilst I'm redesigning the mouse, I'd also like a "ball lock"
widget, please.

>>I couldn't honestly comprehend it until
>>he demostrated. Amazing density of information.
>
>The Very Good operators can send & receive morse code, whilst
>carrying on a conversation with a visitor in the radio "shack".
>(Not me...)
Nor me, but when receiving, I can usually manage a bit of soldering at
the same time.

>>I wonder what it feels like to think in morse.
>
>Well, you have to -- in a way -- to send it.

It's like riding a bike, if you think too deeply about what you're
doing, you fall off.

>73,
73 de

David P

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 20:57:40 GMT
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bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au wrote:
>Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> writes:

>>It has been my experience that reports and journalists will say damn near
>>anything!!!  When advertising the newscast, I heard a newscaster say
<snip>

>Over here down under, the valiant newscasters recently alerted us to the
>fact that there had been a "chemical spill" in a road tunnel, but that
>the emergency services had "contained" it. The chemical in question? Well,
>liquid nitrogen ;-). I still wonder how they "contained" a spill of liquid
>nitrogen....

Isn't it a suffocation hazard, if you have enough of it?

-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
If God hadn't intended us to eat animals, 
He wouldn't have made them out of MEAT!                           - John Cleese

######

From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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On 22 Dec 2000 03:32:36 GMT, jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard) wrote:

>On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:01:23 +0000, Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
>>The NL version's Morse read
>>  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...
>
>Gusanos?

Yep.  Derogatory term for Cuban immigrants, AFAIK.

-- 
[ When replying, remove *'s from address ]
Alexandre Pechtchanski, Systems Manager, RUH, NY

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 22 Dec 2000 21:33:44 -0000
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In article <G5zJLw.5rs@news.boeing.com>,
Ralph Wade Phillips <ralphp@techie.com> wrote:
[snip]
>        The Mustang is the only vehicle I know of that the TOP of the gas
>tank is the BOTTOM of the trunk (boot to UK readers).

Volkswagen Fastback?  (albeit at the other end).

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Ian Stirling (Inquisitor@I.am) writes:
> 
> Isn't it a suffocation hazard, if you have enough of it?

  In a confined space? Don't be silly.  In the future, they'll
  thaw you out and you'll be AOK.  Expired drivers license, big
  credit card bills, no house to return to, but otherwise OK.

######

From: <william.hamblen@nashville.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 16:58:47 -0600
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Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:

> Science fiction movies still like to represent computers with tape drives
> and large panels of blinkenlights. Only since this is futuristic, the 
> blinkenlights are in several different colors.

Colossus, of the Forbin Project, had speech recognition but not speech
synthesis, although the former is thousands of times harder than the
latter.  I guess being made from 1620s was the difference.

######

From: <william.hamblen@nashville.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:

> What was your reaction when you learned that Mel Gibson's voice in Max Max
> was dubbed from Australian for the US market?

Gibson's father took the family to Australia when Mel was, what, 12?
I guess Gibson could have done his own voice overs.

######

From: <william.hamblen@nashville.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Arargh! <Arargh@enteract.com> wrote:

> Depends upon what part of the country you live in.  In places where it
> gets cccccold, like, say, Chicago, what you said is quite true.
> However, in some warmer places, the valve actually is at the top, and
> you get the spewing everywhere bit.

If you hit a Chicago hydrant your car definitely would come off second
best.  They use hydrants with two 4 inch outlets up there and those
things are BIG.

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 06:04:57 GMT, "Jack Gavin"
<jackgavinSPAMLESS@home.com> wrote:

>Arargh! wrote in message <9un54tgmh7rm75p0gms2quik26evqlhkt7@4ax.com>...
>>On 21 Dec 2000 03:53:00 -0500, jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) wrote:
<snip>
>I sorta remember that happening during the police chase of a tank in San
>Diego.
>
>Unfortunately, even though I've found a link to the video, my browser will
>not cooperate.  Maybe some else will have beter technical luck, and will
>report any hydrant encounters.
>
>Go to <http://www.apbonline.com/videocenter/chases/index.html> and try
>"Stolen Tank on the Loose".

Well, I tried, but that site is *strange*.  It wants java or
javascript or something, and I don't permit such like from an unknown
site.  Besides, the file is .rm, and I got sick of them and blew them
off the system a couple of weeks ago.

Perhaps someone who has an isolated system, and who is willing to take
the risk can view it.

I won't.


 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 02:20:57 +0000
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Alexandre Pechtchanski wrote (quoting Maynard):

> >On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:01:23 +0000, Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
> >>The NL version's Morse read
> >>  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...
> >
> >Gusanos?
> 
> Yep.  Derogatory term for Cuban immigrants, AFAIK.

We have the winner.  Literally it is indeed "worms" in Spanish.
See my first posting for why doing this in Morse was interestingly
subtle in a parody of a Prohias cartoon.

	Dennis

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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In article <7bm029.h4.ln@nashville.com>, <william.hamblen@nashville.com> wrote:

> Colossus, of the Forbin Project, had speech recognition but not speech
> synthesis, although the former is thousands of times harder than the
> latter.  I guess being made from 1620s was the difference.

Multivac had the same design. Asimov has one of his characters explain that
they could only afford the circuitry to do one or the other, so they did
the "easy" one.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: Brian Inglis <Brian.dot.Inglis@SystematicSw.ab.ca>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 20:16:58 -0700
Organization: Systematic Software
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On 22 Dec 2000 04:27:37 GMT, Eric Fischer <enf@pobox.com> wrote:

>Charles Richmond  <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:
>
>> Somehow the teletype (actually teleprinter) got identified with "hot"
>> breaking news, and although this is now quite archaic...
>
>What's the distinction you're making between teletype and teleprinter?
>Just that not all teleprinters were manufactured by Teletype?
>
>eric

ISTM no kbd == no type! R(cv)O mechanism. 

Thanks. Take care, Brian Inglis 	Calgary, Alberta, Canada
-- 
Brian_Inglis@CSi.com 	(Brian dot Inglis at SystematicSw dot ab dot ca)
				use address above to reply

######

From: Howard S Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 22:50:25 -0500
Organization: MindSpring Enterprises
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71335

In article <91v0j3$4ai$1@wombat.cs.monash.edu.au>, bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au 
wrote:

>I still wonder how they "contained" a spill of liquid nitrogen....

Maybe they used the atmosphere to damp it out? <grin>
-- 
Howard S Shubs
"Run in circles, scream and shout!"  "I hope you have good backups!"

######

From: bmarcum@iglou.com (Bill Marcum)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 07:27:51 GMT
Organization: Pope-Wino-Hybrid Party
Message-ID: <3a44535a.7636332@news.iglou.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <3A37B540.314D1D39@cdc.com> <91b68l$8o7$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <91d7rd$n8j$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <1b4s0563zh.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91fnch$2hk$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <1bsnnoqn3e.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <91jpkc$v90$1@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <1b8zpee7nr.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu> <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <3A3E6EEE.E8B338B6@earthlink.net> <3A3E7FAE.11999507@uchicago.edu> <slrn93t9hi.j54.X@animas.frontier.net> <3a43b65b.97564@newshost.netscapeonline.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71310

ddotpowell@netnospamscapeonline.co.uk (David Powell) wrote:

>Faster than many people can type with all ten digits in use.
>Will someone please market a mouse with a morse key instead of the
>centre button (and software support for it), O.K. I'm not going to get
>50wpm, but at a steady15, that's  better than I get with one hand on
>the mouse, the other on the keyboard - and I get one hand free for a
>pencil. Whilst I'm redesigning the mouse, I'd also like a "ball lock"
>widget, please.
With Morse input and output, the mouse could _be_ the PC, or it could
be wearable without an expensive heads-up display...

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 2000 07:51:59 -0000
Organization: The Linux Emporium
Message-ID: <921liv$f3k$1@polo.demon.co.uk>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91ts1r$3im$3@teabag.cbhnet> <3A42DBBC.B717EF05@ev1.net> <7bm029.h4.ln@nashville.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71311

In article <7bm029.h4.ln@nashville.com>,
 <william.hamblen@nashville.com> wrote:
>Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:
>
>> Science fiction movies still like to represent computers with tape drives
>> and large panels of blinkenlights. Only since this is futuristic, the 
>> blinkenlights are in several different colors.
>
>Colossus, of the Forbin Project, had speech recognition but not speech
>synthesis, although the former is thousands of times harder than the
>latter.  I guess being made from 1620s was the difference.

The same is true of R2D2.

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

Message-ID: <3A447D4E.206F5A97@ev1.net>
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 02:24:13 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71329

Bernd Felsche wrote:
> 
> bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au writes:
> 
> >Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> writes:
> 
> >>It has been my experience that reports and journalists will say damn near
> >>anything!!!  When advertising the newscast, I heard a newscaster say
> >>that progress had been made on curing multiple sclerosis...and in the
> >>newscast it turned out they were talking about muscular distrophy. Now
> >>these are two very different diseases, but IMHO the news people do *not*
> >>give a fat rat's ass as long as they have a story. The facts be damned!!!
> 
> >Over here down under, the valiant newscasters recently alerted us to the
> >fact that there had been a "chemical spill" in a road tunnel, but that
> >the emergency services had "contained" it. The chemical in question? Well,
> >liquid nitrogen ;-). I still wonder how they "contained" a spill of liquid
> >nitrogen....
> 
> Gingerly. :-)
> 
> I guess they put on the breathing aparatus and sat it out.
>
I have always been amazed that the trucks carrying liquid nitrogen have little
green signs on the back that say "NON-FLAMABLE". Well, of course, it
*is* 
non-flamable...but if it spilled on you, it would *not* matter much. It would
do great damage anyway...but there is *no* indication of the danger, only
the words "NON-FLAMABLE"...

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Reply-To: spalding@iol.ie
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Eric Fischer wrote, in <91ul7p$ilq$1@bob.news.rcn.net>:

> Charles Richmond  <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:
> 
> > Somehow the teletype (actually teleprinter) got identified with "hot"
> > breaking news, and although this is now quite archaic...
> 
> What's the distinction you're making between teletype and teleprinter?
> Just that not all teleprinters were manufactured by Teletype?

I think Teleprinter was once a trademark of the Creed company but became
generic just as teletype did; in my early days in the telecom business
in the 1950s in the UK all such devices were known as teleprinters and
most were made by Creed.
-- 
Nick Spalding

######

Message-ID: <3A44B184.C3972AFF@ev1.net>
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 06:06:59 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71331

Anne & Lynn Wheeler wrote:
> 
> Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:
> 
> > "load map" ... what's worse I could tell the year & month of the
> > kernel build.
> 
> ... based on the list of what fixes were present
> 
>
Truly, truly...IBM has *warped* your very soul!!!

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A44B18C.C843DB5A@ev1.net>
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 06:07:07 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71332

Ron Hunsinger wrote:
> 
> In article <1142.390T2495T8735780@sky.bus.com>, "Charlie Gibbs"
> <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> wrote:
> 
> > On one episode of Max Headroom someone flips very rapidly
> > through screenfuls of code.  Using my VCR's freeze-frame I
> > was able to make out C code, but all it did was convert an
> > ASCII string to integer.
> 
> On one episode of (the TV version of) Dilbert, Wally is called upon to fix
> the old, non-Y2K-compliant COBOL code. We see a glimpse of it onscreen.
> 
> Oddly, I don't remember COBOL permitting the construct
> 
>     cout << lotsOfOtherStuff << etCetera;
> 
Must be COBOL '85...   ;-)

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net>
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 06:07:16 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71327

"Heinz W. Wiggeshoff" wrote:
> 
> Ian Stirling (Inquisitor@I.am) writes:
> >
> > Isn't it a suffocation hazard, if you have enough of it?
> 
>   In a confined space? Don't be silly.  In the future, they'll
>   thaw you out and you'll be AOK.  Expired drivers license, big
>   credit card bills, no house to return to, but otherwise OK.
>
But if you take some thongs, and dip a rubber ball (or a banana)
in liquid nitrogen...then throw it on the floor...it will shatter
like glass!!! I suppose if *you* were frozen in liquid nitrogen,
and happened to fall over...*you* would shatter like glass too!!!

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A44B1A1.7649BB59@ev1.net>
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 06:07:29 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977178663snz@dsl.co.uk> <3A42CBCA.CE2E808D@ev1.net> <91v0j3$4ai$1@wombat.cs.monash.edu.au> <91vp4s$ffe$1@flywheel.innovative.iinet.net.au>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71326

Bernd Felsche wrote:
> 
> bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au writes:
> 
> >Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> writes:
> 
> >>It has been my experience that reports and journalists will say damn near
> >>anything!!!  When advertising the newscast, I heard a newscaster say
> >>that progress had been made on curing multiple sclerosis...and in the
> >>newscast it turned out they were talking about muscular distrophy. Now
> >>these are two very different diseases, but IMHO the news people do *not*
> >>give a fat rat's ass as long as they have a story. The facts be damned!!!
> 
> >Over here down under, the valiant newscasters recently alerted us to the
> >fact that there had been a "chemical spill" in a road tunnel, but that
> >the emergency services had "contained" it. The chemical in question? Well,
> >liquid nitrogen ;-). I still wonder how they "contained" a spill of liquid
> >nitrogen....
> 
> Gingerly. :-)
> 
> I guess they put on the breathing aparatus and sat it out.
>
I have always been amazed that the trucks carrying liquid nitrogen have little
green signs on the back that say "NON-FLAMABLE". Well, of course, it
*is* 
non-flamable...but if it spilled on you, it would *not* matter much. It would
do great damage anyway...but there is *no* indication of the danger, only
the words "NON-FLAMABLE"...

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A44B1AD.8F59B8AC@ev1.net>
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 06:07:40 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.7C-CCK-MCD {C-UDP; EBM-APPLE} (Macintosh; I; PPC)
X-Accept-Language: en
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4 <3A42D27F.D4F309B8@ev1.net> <91ul7p$ilq$1@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Eric Fischer wrote:
> 
> Charles Richmond  <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:
> 
> > Somehow the teletype (actually teleprinter) got identified with "hot"
> > breaking news, and although this is now quite archaic...
> 
> What's the distinction you're making between teletype and teleprinter?
> Just that not all teleprinters were manufactured by Teletype?
> 
I know that Teletype is a company, but I usually *think* of a Teletype as
being a slow, mechanically driven printing terminal. Teleprinters can 
also be made by the Teletype company, but the teleprinters have *no*
keyboard. They only print what comes in over the news wire...

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 15:17:43 +0000
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On Thu, 21 Dec 2000 20:03:12 -0800, Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:

>And if you listen to the theme music from any major TV newscast in the U.S.,
>you will hear styalized sounds of a teletype. Somehow the teletype (actually
>teleprinter) got identified with "hot" breaking news, and although this is
>now quite archaic, I suppose subconsciously people can still get a rush from
>hearing the teleprinter sounds...

The football results in this country are broadcast on ?BBC with a "teleprinter
emulator" - they used to be done with a real teleprinter. Now they have a
computer generated display which makes the results appear and then move up
the screen, with a little warble-warble as the chars are printed at not
very many per second.

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 2000 16:43:18 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> writes:

>I have always been amazed that the trucks carrying liquid nitrogen have little
>green signs on the back that say "NON-FLAMABLE". Well, of course, it
>*is* 
>non-flamable...but if it spilled on you, it would *not* matter much. It would
>do great damage anyway...but there is *no* indication of the danger, only
>the words "NON-FLAMABLE"...

The distinction is critical to HAZMAT and FD responders.  If the truck's
contents are properly identified they'll know which procedures are
appropriate for the situation, and which aren't.  At the trivial level
*any* liquid is hazardous (insert scene of victim drowning in a washbucket)
but knowing that a tanker's contents are non-flamable allows the responders
to worry about other characteristics of an incident rather than concentrate
on preventing an explosion of the cargo.

It's not the only identification mechanism, of course; tankers have 
signs giving the ID for the type of liquid, but having the flamable
status prominently displayed makes it easier for the responders to spot,
and much easier for civilian observers who don't know the ID codes
to recognize a fire/explosion hazard.

You can legitimately argue that flamability has a better PR agent than
other highly hazardous characteristics (acid carriers, anyone?) but with
the bomb-like potential inherent in flamable liquid tanker accidents,
it's not unreasonable to want the flamability status of a cargo to be
prominently displayed.  (And doing this makes it easier to enforce some
of the no-hazardous-cargo restrictions in places like tunnels.)

Joe Morris

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 2000 16:45:02 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford) writes:

>On 22 Dec 2000 14:15:27 GMT, Joe Morris <jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG> wrote:

>>For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
>>login challenge as you might expect:
>>
>>    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
>>    ENTER PASSWORD:
>>    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
>>    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
>>    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
>>    <user enters password here>

>I think you could make a BBC Micro do that in most of its video modes.

I'll assume you're correct (I don't know the unit) but that's possible
only if the system was designed to use it.  Systems designed for use
with hardcopy terminals only were the problem here.

Joe Morris

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 10:53:58 -0600
Organization: Arargh!!
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On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 17:11:43 -0600, <william.hamblen@nashville.com>
wrote:

>Arargh! <Arargh@enteract.com> wrote:
>
>> Depends upon what part of the country you live in.  In places where it
>> gets cccccold, like, say, Chicago, what you said is quite true.
>> However, in some warmer places, the valve actually is at the top, and
>> you get the spewing everywhere bit.
>
>If you hit a Chicago hydrant your car definitely would come off second
>best.  They use hydrants with two 4 inch outlets up there and those
>things are BIG.
That reminds me, I did hit one once.  Not Chicago, but a suburban one,
in a 62 chevy wagon.  Didn't bother the hydrant, but put a big dimple
in my bumper, and in those days bumpers were pretty hefty.

 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: cmadams@HiWAAY.net (Chris Adams)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 17:05:21 -0000
Organization: HiWAAY Information Services
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Once upon a time, Charles Richmond  <richmond@ev1.net> said:
>But if you take some thongs, and dip a rubber ball (or a banana)
>in liquid nitrogen...then throw it on the floor...it will shatter
>like glass!!! I suppose if *you* were frozen in liquid nitrogen,
>and happened to fall over...*you* would shatter like glass too!!!

That's what happened in "Terminator 2", so it _must_ be true. :-)
-- 
Chris Adams <cmadams@hiwaay.net>
Systems and Network Administrator - HiWAAY Internet Services
I don't speak for anybody but myself - that's enough trouble.

######

Date: 23 Dec 2000 17:39:21 +0000
From: "Adam Atkinson" <ghira@mistral.co.uk>
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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On 23-Dec-00 17:05:21, Chris Adams said:

>>But if you take some thongs, and dip a rubber ball (or a banana)
>>in liquid nitrogen...then throw it on the floor...it will shatter
>>like glass!!! I suppose if *you* were frozen in liquid nitrogen,
>>and happened to fall over...*you* would shatter like glass too!!!

>That's what happened in "Terminator 2", so it _must_ be true. :-)

Well, I've seen it done in real life with flowers and rubber tubing.
I've also seen it done on TV with chocolate. Shattering like glass
would be about right.

I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?

-- 
Adam Atkinson (ghira@mistral.co.uk)
ZOOGE

######

Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!not-for-mail
From: Neil Franklin <neil@franklin.ch.remove>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 2000 20:56:33 +0100
Organization: My own Private Self
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"Adam Atkinson" <ghira@mistral.co.uk> writes:

> On 23-Dec-00 17:05:21, Chris Adams said:
>
> >>But if you take some thongs, and dip a rubber ball (or a banana)
> >>in liquid nitrogen...then throw it on the floor...it will shatter
> >>like glass!!! I suppose if *you* were frozen in liquid nitrogen,
> >>and happened to fall over...*you* would shatter like glass too!!!
>
> >That's what happened in "Terminator 2", so it _must_ be true. :-)
>
> Well, I've seen it done in real life with flowers and rubber tubing.
> I've also seen it done on TV with chocolate. Shattering like glass
> would be about right.

Yes. That description fits.


> I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
> have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?

I have seen it done with sausage, frankfurters to be exact.

And the left over big part eaten, after it getting back to room
temperature. That prof war a great fan of spectacular displays, made
his course (chemistry) interesting.


--
Neil Franklin, neil@franklin.ch.remove http://neil.franklin.ch/
Nerd, Geek, Hacker, Unix Guru, Sysadmin, Roleplayer, LARPer, Mystic

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 00 00:14:10 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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In article <91un72$3eu$1@bob.news.rcn.net> enf@pobox.com (Eric Fischer)
writes:

>If I'm remembering right, in the movie Terminator 2 when you see code
>scrolling by inside the mind of the Terminator, it's a genuine COBOL
>program.  (And in the first Terminator movie, a disassembly of some
>6502 machine language, reputedly a routine to relocate Apple DOS into
>the Language Card.)

When Robocop was booted up for the first time, there was a reference
to COMMAND.COM.  Poor guy - no wonder he had problems.  He was running
MS-DOS!

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 00 00:18:19 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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In article <91vnlv$ean$1@top.mitre.org> jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG
(Joe Morris) writes:

>For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
>login challenge as you might expect:
>
>    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
>    ENTER PASSWORD:
>    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
>    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
>    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
>    <user enters password here>
>
>The three lines terminated by only <CR> are printed over each other,
>leaving a mess on the paper into which the user would type the
>password,

MTS used rows of W, M, B, and I.

>making it difficult (but not impossible) to read the user's
>password from the printout.

The way to make it impossible was to hold a card between the
typeball and the paper as you typed your password.  (Of course,
then you had to treat the card as secure waste, but it was much
more convenient to dispose of it than your printout.)

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 00 00:20:35 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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In article <3A42D27F.D4F309B8@ev1.net> richmond@ev1.net
(Charles Richmond) writes:

>And if you listen to the theme music from any major TV newscast in
>the U.S., you will hear styalized sounds of a teletype.

A local radio station plays Teletype sounds in the background during
newscasts.  And not a model 33 or 35.  Oh no - they use a good old
45-baud Baudot machine, like a 19 or something.

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 24 Dec 00 10:07:07 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 19
Message-ID: <924ls0$nv7$3@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71355

In article <487.392T1756T205493@sky.bus.com>,
   "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> wrote:
>In article <3A42D27F.D4F309B8@ev1.net> richmond@ev1.net
>(Charles Richmond) writes:
>
>>And if you listen to the theme music from any major TV newscast in
>>the U.S., you will hear styalized sounds of a teletype.
>
>A local radio station plays Teletype sounds in the background during
>newscasts.  And not a model 33 or 35.  Oh no - they use a good old
>45-baud Baudot machine, like a 19 or something.
>
I don't think I ever met one of those.  At least it's realistic.
Much better than showing a sorter (damn, can't remember its name)
or a magtape drive to pretend that a computer was working.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 24 Dec 00 10:09:09 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
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In article <922kqe$bh7$1@top.mitre.org>,
   jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) wrote:
>benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford) writes:
>
>>On 22 Dec 2000 14:15:27 GMT, Joe Morris <jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG> 
wrote:
>
>>>For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
>>>login challenge as you might expect:
>>>
>>>    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
>>>    ENTER PASSWORD:
>>>    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
>>>    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
>>>    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
>>>    <user enters password here>
>
>>I think you could make a BBC Micro do that in most of its video modes.
>
>I'll assume you're correct (I don't know the unit) but that's possible
>only if the system was designed to use it.  Systems designed for use
>with hardcopy terminals only were the problem here.

Or no echo supression available.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: X@Y.Z.net (Jynx)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977178663snz@dsl.co.uk> <3A42CBCA.CE2E808D@ev1.net> <91v0j3$4ai$1@wombat.cs.monash.edu.au> <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net>
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On Sat, 23 Dec 2000 06:07:16 -0800, Charles Richmond scribbled:

>But if you take some thongs, and dip a rubber ball (or a banana)
>in liquid nitrogen...

Well, maybe your girl friend doesn't mind how you treat her thong(s).
As for me -- I use tongs around cryogenic materials.

Jonesy
-- 
Marvin L Jones         |  jonz             |  W3DHJ     |  OS/2
 Gunnison, Colorado    |   @               |  Jonesy    |  linux    __
  7,703' -- 2,345m     |    frontier.net   |  DM68mn                SK

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 2000 18:54:52 GMT
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71368

"Adam Atkinson" (ghira@mistral.co.uk) writes:
>
... 
> I've not seen it done with flesh or bones.

  Is there a doctor in the group?  I'm pretty sure it's used to freeze
  warts or tumours or whatever.

> I guess someone here must
> have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?

  Leaves a really bad taste behind!

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 2000 20:24:46 GMT
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Neil Franklin (neil@franklin.ch.remove) writes:
> 
> I have seen it done with sausage, frankfurters to be exact.
> 
> And the left over big part eaten, after it getting back to room
> temperature. That prof war a great fan of spectacular displays, made
> his course (chemistry) interesting.

  Lemme guess: he's the same guy who can light a charcoal BBQ in four
  seconds using liquid oxygen?  Yummy!

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 20:44:21 +0000
Organization: benZone
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On 23 Dec 2000 17:39:21 +0000, Adam Atkinson <ghira@mistral.co.uk> wrote:

>Well, I've seen it done in real life with flowers and rubber tubing.
>I've also seen it done on TV with chocolate. Shattering like glass
>would be about right.
>
>I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
>have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?

I have seen a tomato frozen in this manner, and then passed around an
audience of several hundred 15 year olds. By the time it got round to
me it had thawed and was utterly utterly knackered - it had very little
"structural integrity" any more, it was like it had been stamped on and
mushed up.

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: X@Y.Z.net (Jynx)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net> <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com> <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk> <slrn94a3l5.l5.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk>
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On Sat, 23 Dec 2000 20:44:21 +0000, Ben Clifford scribbled:
>
>I have seen a tomato frozen in this manner, and then passed around an
>audience of several hundred 15 year olds. By the time it got round to
>me it had thawed and was utterly utterly knackered - it had very little
>"structural integrity" any more, it was like it had been stamped on and
>mushed up.

Well, that would happen to *anything* handled by "...several hundred 
15-year olds"!!!

Yes , such freezing of vegetable items should be more damaging than
freezing flesh -- I think the cell structure is weaker and the
expansion due to freezing would have a more ddeleterious effect.

We used to freeze snakes when purging the (smallish) liquid nitrogen 
service tanks at the edge of the flight line wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
back in the mid-60's when I was in the U.S.A.F.  Yes, they shattered 
when they were whacked by the handle of a B.F.S.

Jonesy
-- 
Marvin L Jones         |  jonz             |  W3DHJ     |  OS/2
 Gunnison, Colorado    |   @               |  Jonesy    |  linux    __
  7,703' -- 2,345m     |    frontier.net   |  DM68mn                SK

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 23:40:32 GMT
Message-ID: <977614832.5483.0.nnrp-13.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71386

Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:
<snip>
>I have always been amazed that the trucks carrying liquid nitrogen have little
>green signs on the back that say "NON-FLAMABLE". Well, of course, it
>*is* 
>non-flamable...but if it spilled on you, it would *not* matter much. It would
>do great damage anyway...but there is *no* indication of the danger, only
>the words "NON-FLAMABLE"...

Also, if a large amount is spilled on a surface, so it won't boil off 
instantly, due to it's lower boiling point, it condenses the oxygen in the
atmosphere, which make a liquid with a lot of oxygen in it, which is of
course a serious fire risk, with many normally non-flammable substances.
(Such as for example tarmac)

-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
If God hadn't intended us to eat animals, 
He wouldn't have made them out of MEAT!                           - John Cleese

######

From: himself@esands.com (him self)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 24 Dec 2000 00:17:49 GMT
Organization: Customer of Connect.com.au Pty. Ltd.
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71384

On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:06:56 +0000, Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
> 
> 
> What was your reaction when you learned that Mel Gibson's voice in Max Max
> was dubbed from Australian for the US market?
> 

Either that or subtitles. Spoken Australian is
difficult to comprehend. We omit consonants and 
run words together. Arnie gets away with it
because there is little room for miscomprehension 
when your vocabulary comprises of monosyllabic 
grunts. Scandanavians speak a good version of 
international English.

######

From: djim55@boingydatasync.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 24 Dec 2000 01:06:46 GMT
Organization: Datasync
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Herbie Jurvanen <hj@pp.htv.fi> wrote:
[]In <3a33fd77.395554@news.datasync.com>, D.J. wrote:

[]>The sad ones are the users who can't spell their own name, and the as/400
[]>shuts off their login after the third login failure.

[]Forgive me for being dense, but if they can't spell their name right (and
[]are thus presumably misspelling their login), then how does the machine know
[]which account to suspend?

The keyboard knows all... :-)

JimP.
-- 
Spammers and junk emailers in jail !
djim55 at the datasync dotty com Disclaimer: Standard.
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html updated Dec 10

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 23 Dec 2000 18:50:42 -0700
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71370

Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net> writes:
> > 
> Science fiction movies still like to represent computers with tape drives
> and large panels of blinkenlights. Only since this is futuristic, the 
> blinkenlights are in several different colors.

But that *should* be accurate.  The idea that my Ethernet hub has more
impressive flashing lights than my computer is offensive.  Running
xosview just isn't the same.

In the St. Nick of time department:  I finally gave up trying to find
a Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer with an LED nose, and found a stuffed
plush reindeer.  Stopped be Radio Shack on the way home; by tomorrow,
my computer's disk activity light will be Rudolf The LED Nosed
Reindeer.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 19:55:48 -0600
Organization: Arargh!!
Lines: 20
Message-ID: <tit94t0p4vs32o43pghqbl3a322d4rpntg@4ax.com>
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977178663snz@dsl.co.uk> <3A42CBCA.CE2E808D@ev1.net> <91v0j3$4ai$1@wombat.cs.monash.edu.au> <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net>
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X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com
NNTP-Posting-Date: 24 Dec 2000 01:52:06 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71387

On Sat, 23 Dec 2000 06:07:16 -0800, Charles Richmond
<richmond@ev1.net> wrote:

>"Heinz W. Wiggeshoff" wrote:
>> 
>> Ian Stirling (Inquisitor@I.am) writes:
>> >
>> > Isn't it a suffocation hazard, if you have enough of it?
>> 
>>   In a confined space? Don't be silly.  In the future, they'll
>>   thaw you out and you'll be AOK.  Expired drivers license, big
>>   credit card bills, no house to return to, but otherwise OK.
>>
>But if you take some thongs, and dip a rubber ball (or a banana)
>in liquid nitrogen...then throw it on the floor...it will shatter
>like glass!!! I suppose if *you* were frozen in liquid nitrogen,
>and happened to fall over...*you* would shatter like glass too!!!
Is it time to mention 'Terminator 2' yet?   :-)
 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 19:55:49 -0600
Organization: Arargh!!
Lines: 27
Message-ID: <krt94t0nk93cluiiompqu25ielr2f66j4j@4ax.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>     <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu>     <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com>     <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com>     <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91ts1r$3im$3@teabag.cbhnet> <91vnlv$ean$1@top.mitre.org> <slrn949eac.tp9.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk> <922kqe$bh7$1@top.mitre.org>
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NNTP-Posting-Date: 24 Dec 2000 01:52:07 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71396

On 23 Dec 2000 16:45:02 GMT, jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe
Morris) wrote:

>benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford) writes:
>
>>On 22 Dec 2000 14:15:27 GMT, Joe Morris <jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG> wrote:
>
>>>For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
>>>login challenge as you might expect:
>>>
>>>    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
>>>    ENTER PASSWORD:
>>>    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
>>>    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
>>>    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
>>>    <user enters password here>
>
>>I think you could make a BBC Micro do that in most of its video modes.
>
>I'll assume you're correct (I don't know the unit) but that's possible
>only if the system was designed to use it.  Systems designed for use
>with hardcopy terminals only were the problem here.
Wouldn't that be a problem for half-duplex systems only?


 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: X@Y.Z.net (Jynx)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91ts1r$3im$3@teabag.cbhnet> <3A42DBBC.B717EF05@ev1.net> <1bvgsawpsd.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
Reply-To: If You Reply <use_the_adr_in_my_sig@the.bottom>
Message-ID: <slrn94aq4d.ak6.X@animas.frontier.net>
User-Agent: slrn/0.9.6.2 (Linux)
Date: 24 Dec 2000 03:07:59 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71380

On 23 Dec 2000 18:50:42 -0700, Joe Pfeiffer scribbled:
>
>In the St. Nick of time department:  I finally gave up trying to find
>a Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer with an LED nose, and found a stuffed
>plush reindeer.  Stopped be Radio Shack on the way home; by tomorrow,
>my computer's disk activity light will be Rudolf The LED Nosed
>Reindeer.

Couldn't you just convert your CueCat?

Jonesy
-- 
Marvin L Jones         |  jonz             |  W3DHJ     |  OS/2
 Gunnison, Colorado    |   @               |  Jonesy    |  linux    __
  7,703' -- 2,345m     |    frontier.net   |  DM68mn                SK

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <m11yv453jx.fsf@halfdome.holdit.com> <3a401ae8$0$89531$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net> <dpm04ts0fdubq14m915ro4nd2olfsurlit@4ax.com>
Organization: Plethora . Net - More Net, Less Spam!
X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test72 (19 April 1999)
From: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach)
Date: 24 Dec 2000 04:00:22 GMT
Lines: 19
Message-ID: <3a4574d6$0$89526$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net>
NNTP-Posting-Host: df403ae7.news.plethora.net
X-Trace: 977630422 gemini.plethora.net 89526 seebs@205.166.146.8
X-Complaints-To: abuse@plethora.net
Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!tungurahua!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!gemini-int.visi.com.MISMATCH!gemini.plethora.net.POSTED!not-for-mail
Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71377

In article <dpm04ts0fdubq14m915ro4nd2olfsurlit@4ax.com>,
Arargh!  <Arargh@Enteract.com> wrote:
>Pinging 555.12.12.12 [43.12.12.12] with 32 bytes of data:
>Reply from 207.229.129.243: Destination host unreachable.

NO!

Now you've revealed the trick to spammers.  Any day now, you'll see
that used in "URL obfuscation".

I love the idea that you can buy commercial products, the function of which is
to hide the identity of the company selling a product.  Talk about brand
loyalty!

-s
-- 
Copyright 2000, All rights reserved.  Peter Seebach / seebs@plethora.net
C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter.  Boycott Spamazon!
Consulting & Computers: http://www.plethora.net/

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <91jpkc$v90$1@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <3A3EC564.3932FCED@uchicago.edu> <ilq44tks825bs0omb6f5dcc2sfjr2st042@4ax.com> <1142.390T2495T8735780@sky.bus.com>
Organization: Plethora . Net - More Net, Less Spam!
X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test72 (19 April 1999)
From: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach)
Date: 24 Dec 2000 04:02:40 GMT
Lines: 14
Message-ID: <3a457560$0$89522$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net>
NNTP-Posting-Host: df403ae7.news.plethora.net
X-Trace: 977630560 gemini.plethora.net 89522 seebs@205.166.146.8
X-Complaints-To: abuse@plethora.net
Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!tungurahua!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!gemini-int.visi.com.MISMATCH!gemini.plethora.net.POSTED!not-for-mail
Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71375

In article <1142.390T2495T8735780@sky.bus.com>,
Charlie Gibbs <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> wrote:
>On one episode of Max Headroom someone flips very rapidly
>through screenfuls of code.  Using my VCR's freeze-frame I
>was able to make out C code, but all it did was convert an
>ASCII string to integer.

Damn them!  I was going to patent that.

-s
-- 
Copyright 2000, All rights reserved.  Peter Seebach / seebs@plethora.net
C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter.  Boycott Spamazon!
Consulting & Computers: http://www.plethora.net/

######

From: andrew@cucumber.demon.co.uk (Andrew Gabriel)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 24 Dec 2000 09:06:59 GMT
Organization: home
Message-ID: <924ebj$5he@cucumber.demon.co.uk>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@c298344-a.arvada1.co.home.com>
  <91ts1r$3im$3@teabag.cbhnet> <91vnlv$ean$1@top.mitre.org>
NNTP-Posting-Host: cucumber
X-NNTP-Posting-Host: cucumber.demon.co.uk:158.152.58.86
X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 977649118 nnrp-13:12257 NO-IDENT cucumber.demon.co.uk:158.152.58.86
X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net
X-Newsreader: knews 0.9.6
Lines: 40
Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!newsfeed1.online.no!nextra.com!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!newsfeed.icl.net!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!news.demon.co.uk!demon!cucumber.demon.co.uk!usenet
Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71366

In article <91vnlv$ean$1@top.mitre.org>,
	jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) writes:
>
>For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
>login challenge as you might expect:
>
>    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
>    ENTER PASSWORD:
>    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
>    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
>    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
>    <user enters password here>
>
>The three lines terminated by only <CR> are printed over each other,
>leaving a mess on the paper into which the user would type the password,
>making it difficult (but not impossible) to read the user's password
>from the printout.  With the "glass TTY" terminals, each charcter written
>to the screen replaced whatever was in that position, so the password
>cleartext characters replaced the "X"s from the last overtype line.

This got me curious, because I remember something similar on OS4000,
so I just booted a system and tried setting a tty port to believe it
was talking to a half-duplex terminal (VDU, not printing  terminal),
and it did this:

OS4000 Rel 6.5 A034 on A7 SUN 24 DEC 2000 08:51:16
Logging in
user <user enters userid here>
password
AN1EO8ICT0SRL6DP2M4HB3FQW5GXJ7UV9ZYE1NACI8ORS0TPD6LH4M2QF3BXG5WVU7JYZ9ICN<CR>
<user enters password here>
AN1EO8ICT0SRL6DP2M4HB3FQW5GXJ7UV9ZYE1NACI8ORS0TPD6LH4M2QF3BXG5WVU7JYZ9ICA<CRLF>

This seemed quite effective, the 3 bottom lines all being overprinted
on the VDU (only the last remaining visible).

-- 
Andrew Gabriel
Consultant Software Engineer

######

From: andrew@cucumber.demon.co.uk (Andrew Gabriel)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 24 Dec 2000 09:19:30 GMT
Organization: home
Message-ID: <924f32$5he@cucumber.demon.co.uk>
References: <m11yv453jx.fsf@halfdome.holdit.com> <3a401ae8$0$89531$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net> <dpm04ts0fdubq14m915ro4nd2olfsurlit@4ax.com> <3a4574d6$0$89526$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net>
NNTP-Posting-Host: cucumber
X-NNTP-Posting-Host: cucumber.demon.co.uk:158.152.58.86
X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 977649734 nnrp-12:12774 NO-IDENT cucumber.demon.co.uk:158.152.58.86
X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net
X-Newsreader: knews 0.9.6
Lines: 19
Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.tesion.net!news.belwue.de!news.uni-stuttgart.de!rz.uni-karlsruhe.de!schlund.de!newsfeed01.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!fr.clara.net!heighliner.fr.clara.net!grolier!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!news.demon.co.uk!demon!cucumber.demon.co.uk!usenet
Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71363

In article <3a4574d6$0$89526$3c090ad1@news.plethora.net>,
	seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) writes:
>In article <dpm04ts0fdubq14m915ro4nd2olfsurlit@4ax.com>,
>Arargh!  <Arargh@Enteract.com> wrote:
>>Pinging 555.12.12.12 [43.12.12.12] with 32 bytes of data:
>>Reply from 207.229.129.243: Destination host unreachable.
>
>NO!
>
>Now you've revealed the trick to spammers.  Any day now, you'll see
>that used in "URL obfuscation".

Have you read RFC 1924, A Compact Representation of IPv6 Addresses?
;-)

-- 
Andrew Gabriel
Consultant Software Engineer

######

From: Dave Daniels <a__fake__address@127.0.0.1>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 24 Dec 2000 11:38:05 +0000 (GMT)
Organization: None
Lines: 19
Message-ID: <4a31e4f5ada__fake__address@argonet.co.uk>
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net> <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: usercp01.uk.uudial.com
X-Trace: lure.pipex.net 977659128 14103 62.188.156.30 (24 Dec 2000 11:58:48 GMT)
X-Complaints-To: abuse@uk.uu.net
NNTP-Posting-Date: 24 Dec 2000 11:58:48 GMT
User-Agent: Pluto/1.14i  (RISC-OS/4.03)
Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.nextra.ch!newsfeed1.online.no!nextra.com!news.algonet.se!algonet!news.tele.dk!158.43.192.22!join.news.pipex.net!pipex!grot.news.pipex.net!pipex!tube.news.pipex.net!pipex!argonet.co.uk!argbq79
Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71392

In article <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com>,
   Chris Adams <cmadams@HiWAAY.net> wrote:
> That's what happened in "Terminator 2", so it _must_ be true. :-)

And in the film "Demolition Man" that is shown on TV in the UK every
few months.

Dave

-- 
ANTISPAM: Please note that the email address above is false. My
correct address is:

    dave_daniels<at>argonet<dot>co<dot>uk

Please replace the <at> and <dot>s with @ and . respectively when
replying - Thanks!

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 24 Dec 2000 14:41:45 +0000
Organization: benZone
Lines: 19
Message-ID: <slrn94c2op.5ti.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk>
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net> <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com> <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk> <slrn94a3l5.l5.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk> <slrn94a91g.e01.X@animas.frontier.net>
Reply-To: benc@benzone.freeserve.co.uk
NNTP-Posting-Host: modem-223.new-jersey.dialup.pol.co.uk
X-Trace: news6.svr.pol.co.uk 977669110 13787 62.137.81.223 (24 Dec 2000 14:45:10 GMT)
NNTP-Posting-Date: 24 Dec 2000 14:45:10 GMT
X-Complaints-To: abuse@theplanet.net
X-Newsreader: slrn (0.9.4.3 UNIX)
Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!tungurahua!news-ge.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!news1.ebone.net!news.ebone.net!diablo.theplanet.net!news.theplanet.net!newspost.theplanet.net!benc
Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71340

On 23 Dec 2000 22:16:18 GMT, Jynx <X@Y.Z.net> wrote:

>Yes , such freezing of vegetable items should be more damaging than
>freezing flesh -- I think the cell structure is weaker and the
>expansion due to freezing would have a more ddeleterious effect.

My understanding, from GCSE Biology, is that plant cells have a hardened
cell wall which animal cells do not have. This cell wall, which makes them
under normal conditions stronger[1] in some way, gets burst when the water
in the cell is frozen (because it expands). So when you defrost the 
cell, it does not have that strength.

[1] I don't know what the definition of strength here is

Animal cells don't have a cell wall so don't suffer from this effect.

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: This is innd taking over...
Lines: 21
Sender: bmeyer@bruce.cs.monash.edu.au
Message-ID: <92535d$epi$1@wombat.cs.monash.edu.au>
References: <91jpkc$v90$1@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <ilq44tks825bs0omb6f5dcc2sfjr2st042@4ax.com> <1142.390T2495T8735780@sky.bus.com> <hnsngr-ya023180002112002037470001@news.flash.net> <91un72$3eu$1@bob.news.rcn.net> <625.392T514T143779@sky.bus.com>
Reply-To: bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au
Date: 25 Dec 2000 02:02:05 +1100
NNTP-Posting-Host: 130.194.226.114
X-Trace: news0.optus.net.au 977673221 130.194.226.114 (Mon, 25 Dec 2000 02:53:41 EST)
NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 25 Dec 2000 02:53:41 EST
Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.tesion.net!news.belwue.de!news-stu1.dfn.de!news-koe1.dfn.de!RRZ.Uni-Koeln.DE!news.netcologne.de!fr.clara.net!heighliner.fr.clara.net!xfer10.netnews.com!netnews.com!newshub2.rdc1.sfba.home.com!news.home.com!sjc1.nntp.concentric.net!newsfeed.concentric.net!newsfeed.ozemail.com.au!news1.optus.net.au!optus!news0.optus.net.au!wombat.cs.monash.edu.au!not-for-mail
Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71421

"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:

>When Robocop was booted up for the first time, there was a reference
>to COMMAND.COM.  Poor guy - no wonder he had problems.  He was running
>MS-DOS!

In the Japanese Manga series "Neongenesis Evangelion", at one point a giant
robot goes berzerk, is chased and eventually stopped.... yeah, sounds kind
of stereotypical, but it's actually a good show.

Anyway, at one point, the robot's "bootscreen" is visible --- and it is
quite clearly an MS-DOS boot screen (including, IIRC, the word "DOS", prefixed
by some company name that is very suggestive of the MS part). However,
the producers (or graphic artists) are aware of current trends.... instead
of 640kB, the screen mentioned 640GB of base memory ;-)

Bernie

-- 
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety
Isaac Asimov

######

From: Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 24 Dec 2000 21:08:50 GMT
Organization: CompuServe Interactive Services
Lines: 26
Message-ID: <3a465ce3.24821245@news.compuserve.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <976413396.416734@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <9189i9$qri$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71419

This popped up on Compuserve's hardware forum.  I think it's made up,
but it's a funny story.

=======================================================================

"For some reason my computer violently caught fire when I attempted to
install Windows 2000.  I was about half-way through the process when
flames began to spew from my powersupply.  My roomate is convinced it
is my computers setup.  Recently, I ran out of those damned 3-hole
power outlets and decided to plug an 8-outlet powerstrip into the
outlet on the back of my PC (where you are supposed to plug in the
monitor) and plugged my monitor into the 2-holed outlet on the wall.
I had several appliances (e.g. 1 microwave, 1 christmas tree, and a
blender) plugged into the powerstrip. The problem did seem to occur
right around the time my roommate decided to thaw a ham.  Microsoft
should seriously consider posting this information on their website.
Something like : "IT IS UNSAFE TO INSTALL Windows 2000 WHILE KITCHEN
APPLIANCES ARE PLUGGED INTO YOUR COMPUTER".  Is this really the case
or is Microsoft's stupid software to blame. My roomate says I might
need some type of special driver for Windows to handle this
configuaration. I just spent $2200 on this 1000Mhz PIII..

========================================================================

Dav Vandenbroucke
dav_and_frances_vandenbroucke@compuserve.com

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 00 13:42:42 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 17
Message-ID: <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net> <926uji$ngi$1@news.datasync.com> <927jh2$60b$1@saltmine.radix.net> <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71483

In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
   "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
>
>> Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
>> could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
>> direction between each one?)
>
>He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
>each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.

<GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 24 Dec 2000 23:24:04 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <9260ik$5bo$6@teabag.cbhnet>
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net>
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    <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com>
    <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk>
    <slrn94a3l5.l5.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk>
    <slrn94a91g.e01.X@animas.frontier.net>
    <slrn94c2op.5ti.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71452

In article <slrn94c2op.5ti.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk>,
	benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford) writes:
> My understanding, from GCSE Biology, is that plant cells have a hardened
> cell wall which animal cells do not have. This cell wall, which makes them
> under normal conditions stronger[1] in some way, gets burst when the water
> in the cell is frozen (because it expands). So when you defrost the 
> cell, it does not have that strength.

GCSE?  Pah!  I recall from GCE biology that those funny-looking rectangular
cells have a cellulose[1] wall that strengthens them.  No idea how well it
stands up to unforseen temperature fluctuations, though, although my memory
seems to suggest the word "badly."

[1] Or something like that.

Chris.

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 00:14:16 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
Lines: 13
Message-ID: <926l38$988$1@saltmine.radix.net>
References: <3A42C403.7AB55CE1@bell-labs.com> <D8839E59A958E290.1ED63A515FF70DFE.6FBFA2CAC3D891B6@lp.airnews.net> <b5g74tg3lt93q7h9tqcie3ra760k97u03d@4ax.com> <3A440C09.8D10427B@bell-labs.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71497

In article <3A440C09.8D10427B@bell-labs.com>,
Dennis Ritchie  <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
> See my first posting for why doing this in Morse was interestingly
> subtle in a parody of a Prohias cartoon.

What I don't understand is why the Morse in those things *still* says
BY PROHIAS.  Or am I confused about his being dead?  Are they re-using
old ones?
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 00:33:12 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
Lines: 24
Message-ID: <926m6o$ai9$1@saltmine.radix.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91ts1r$3im$3@teabag.cbhnet> <3A42DBBC.B717EF05@ev1.net> <1bvgsawpsd.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71510

In article <1bvgsawpsd.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>,
Joe Pfeiffer  <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu> wrote:
> The idea that my Ethernet hub has more impressive flashing lights
> than my computer is offensive.

The most impressive blinkenlights I've ever seen were on a Micom
terminal multiplexer.  Several thousand blinking red LEDs in a
rectangular array.

With the room lights turned off, it was a thing of great beauty.
Christmas in a box.

The only thing that could have made it better would be if they were
multiple colors.

I'd like to cover my ceiling with a dense array of red, green, and
blue LEDs.  It would serve as room lights, and would double as a TV
screen and computer screen which I could view with a small mirror from
anywhere in the room.
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

From: ktakki@artcrime.com (Karlo X)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 24 Dec 2000 23:44:19 -0600
Organization: Artcrime
Lines: 20
Message-ID: <9015A278ktakki@63.209.170.206>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71607

enf@pobox.com (Eric Fischer) wrote in <91un72$3eu$1@bob.news.rcn.net>:

>If I'm remembering right, in the movie Terminator 2 when you see code
>scrolling by inside the mind of the Terminator, it's a genuine COBOL
>program.  (And in the first Terminator movie, a disassembly of some
>6502 machine language, reputedly a routine to relocate Apple DOS into
>the Language Card.)

I recall seeing COMMAND.COM flash by when Robocop booted up in
the first movie of that series.  And in the second movie, shots
from the POV of the evil cyborg built around Cain's nuke-addicted
CNS showed a Macintosh-like GUI ([apple] File Edit View Label Special)
with a little [skull] in place of the [apple].



k.
-- 
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
 really good at heart."  - Anne Frank

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 00:52:04 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
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Message-ID: <926na4$bgp$1@saltmine.radix.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71515

In article <3A44B1A1.7649BB59@ev1.net>,
Charles Richmond  <richmond@ev1.net> wrote:
> I have always been amazed that the trucks carrying liquid nitrogen
> have little green signs on the back that say "NON-FLAMABLE".  Well,
> of course, it *is* non-flamable...but if it spilled on you, it would
> *not* matter much.  It would do great damage anyway...

The danger is greatly exaggerated.  I've dipped my hands into liquid
nitrogen and splashed it around.  I've run my fingers through a stream
of the stuff being poured.  I've put it in my drink (which it cools
less than the same volume of ice would).  I've put it in my mouth
and blown "steam" out my nose (though not since getting expensive
bridgework).  Some of my best friends have paid a lot of money for
the privilege of someday being cryopreserved in the stuff.

Liquid nitrogen can kill you, but only if you really work at it.  It's
less dangerous than boiling water, and enormously less dangerous than
gasoline.  Ice water will cool you off faster, due to its greater
specific heat, greater conductivity, and absence of leidenfrost
effect.  Liquid nitrogen won't burn or support combustion (except in
the presence of weird stuff like fluorine or elemental potassium), and
is completely non-toxic and non-corrosive.
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 00:58:17 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
Lines: 12
Message-ID: <926nlp$bqk$1@saltmine.radix.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91ts1r$3im$3@teabag.cbhnet> <91vnlv$ean$1@top.mitre.org>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71527

In article <91vnlv$ean$1@top.mitre.org>,
Joe Morris <jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG> wrote:
> And how many movie/TV shows have computer login scenes where the
> password is echoed in cleartext?

Or where the text is projected onto the typist's face.  Invariably in
ALL CAPS.  Slowly.  Accompanied by warbling sounds.
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 01:02:38 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
Lines: 13
Message-ID: <926ntu$c2m$1@saltmine.radix.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71522

In article <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com>, Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com> wrote:
> in movies: cars burst into flames when falling off roads or in
> severe accidents ...

In the TV show The Simpsons, anything that gets bumped or knocked over
will instantly burst into flames.  For instance a teacher's desk being
tipped on its side by unruly students.  I like how the show spoofs
Hollywood's tiresome tropes.
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 01:32:44 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
Lines: 48
Message-ID: <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71526

In article <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com>, Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com> wrote:
> In a way, I lament the way all the current technology has no real
> sound.  Daisy wheel, dot matrix, chain, drum printers were loud and
> annoying to be near, but at a distance, you could tell what they
> were doing and how well.

Similarly with modem signals.  With Bell 103 (300 baud and down)
it was easy to tell whether something was being transmitted.  When
something was going to take a while, I could go read a book and
listen for when I got my prompt back.

And while I was never quite able to tell by ear exactly what ASCII
characters were being sent, I was able to write a program to convey
output in morse code using NULs and DELs.  (Yes, they were distorted
by the start and stop bits, but were still readable with a little
practice.)

In fact, I once built a completely non-electronic terminal and modem
as a hack.  Eight switches were set by hand for each character, which
was scanned by a rapidly rotating turntable divided into ten pie
slices.  I used a record player turntable directly driven by a 1800
RPM vacuum cleaner motor.  The pie slices were made from aluminum foil
and duct tape.  (Unfortunately, it had a nasty tendency to sometimes
suddenly explode into a cloud of confetti.  300 baud is FAST!)

The two "originate" modem tones (1025 and 1225 Hz) were produced by a
telephone earpiece fastened by rubber bands to a telephone microphone,
driven by a 9 volt battery (which Radio Shack used to give away for
free).  The frequency was changed by switching the series resistance.
That's how the transmit end worked.  The receive end, I did entirely
by ear, using morse code.

I was inspired by Reginald Fessenden, who, 94 years ago today,
broadcast Handel's Largo on the first continuous wave radio
transmitter.  How did he do this when transistors and even triode
vacuum tubes hadn't been invented yet?  (Actually, the triode had been
invented a few weeks earlier, but he didn't know it.)  He simply built
an ordinary rotating generator, like those used to produce 60 Hz
current.  Only he made it with LOTS of poles, and set it to spinning
at just below the speed it would fly to pieces.  The result was radio
frequency current!  What a hack!  (Similarly, you can create coherent
light without a laser simply by spinning a magnet about a million
billion times per second.)
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

From: djim55@boingydatasync.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 07:56:34 GMT
Organization: Datasync
Lines: 13
Message-ID: <926uji$ngi$1@news.datasync.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71512

Keith F. Lynch wrote:
[]frequency current!  What a hack!  (Similarly, you can create coherent
[]light without a laser simply by spinning a magnet about a million
[]billion times per second.)

Oh, which billions ? American or European ?
:-)

JimP.
-- 
Spammers and junk emailers in jail !
djim55 at the datasync dotty com Disclaimer: Standard.
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html updated Dec 10

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 08:53:38 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
Lines: 26
Message-ID: <927jh2$60b$1@saltmine.radix.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net> <926uji$ngi$1@news.datasync.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71503

I wrote:
> (Similarly, you can create coherent light without a laser simply by
> spinning a magnet about a million billion times per second.)

djim55@boingydatasync.com wrote:
> Oh, which billions ? American or European ?

UK != Europe.  The US and the French use the same billion.

Try it both ways.  One way you'll get coherent light.  The other way
you'll get coherent x-rays.  Report back, if you survive.

Also report back which is more dangerous.  A strong beam of coherent
x-rays, or the magnet flying to pieces due to trillions of Gs of
centrifugal force.

Now I suppose you'll ask which trillions.

Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
direction between each one?)
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

Sender: prep@k9.prep.synonet.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977178663snz@dsl.co.uk> <3A42CBCA.CE2E808D@ev1.net> <91v0j3$4ai$1@wombat.cs.monash.edu.au>
From: Paul Repacholi <prep@prep.synonet.com>
Date: 26 Dec 2000 01:51:49 +0800
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71549

bmeyer@cs.monash.edu.au writes:

> the emergency services had "contained" it. The chemical in question? Well,
> liquid nitrogen ;-). I still wonder how they "contained" a spill of liquid
> nitrogen....

Special use term. Means the situation is stable. ( or going to
hell a a pretty predictable rate! )

Like FIXED in gateshit service packs.

-- 
Paul Repacholi                               1 Crescent Rd.,
+61 (08) 9257-1001                           Kalamunda.
                                             West Australia 6076
Raw, Cooked or Well-done, it's all half baked.

######

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From: Paul Repacholi <prep@prep.synonet.com>
Date: 26 Dec 2000 01:54:26 +0800
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71550

Neil Franklin <neil@franklin.ch.remove> writes:

> > I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
> > have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?
> 
> I have seen it done with sausage, frankfurters to be exact.

Works with fingers. Don't ask, OK.

-- 
Paul Repacholi                               1 Crescent Rd.,
+61 (08) 9257-1001                           Kalamunda.
                                             West Australia 6076
Raw, Cooked or Well-done, it's all half baked.

######

From: Bruce Bergman <blCHURRObergman@earthlink.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: A clean desk is a sure sign of a sick mind.
Reply-To: blCHURRObergman@earthlink.net
Message-ID: <175f4t007q4i6j40m77pvdqmqhhnh9m40q@4ax.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71570

On Mon, 25 Dec 2000 16:54:58 GMT, javnews@earthlink.net (John Varela)
wrote:

>On Mon, 25 Dec 2000 05:52:04, "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net> wrote:
>
>> Liquid nitrogen won't burn or support combustion (except in
>> the presence of weird stuff like fluorine or elemental potassium), and
>> is completely non-toxic and non-corrosive.
>
>It's been a long time since I had a wart "burned" off, but my recollection is 
>the Dr. did it by dipping a cotton swab into a dewar of liquid N2 and then 
>applying it to the wart.  In a day or so there was a blister that took the 
>wart with it when it fell off.

  The cotton swab just held the cold LN2 there long enough to do the
work of freezing the wart.  And with the wart killed, your body can
make some new fresh skin underneath to replace it.  There isn't
anything corrosive about it, just the concentrated cold.

      --<< Bruce >>--
-- 
Bruce L. Bergman blCHURRObergman@ NOearthSPAMlink.netEVER  Remove the caps.
Troubleshooter - Electrician, Phones, HVAC, Plumbing,... 
'Current'ly with Westend Electric (#726700) Agoura, CA 818/889-9545

WARNING:  No Unsolicited Commercial E-mail is EVER accepted.

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 25 Dec 2000 19:13:02 GMT
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71524

Bruce Bergman (blCHURRObergman@earthlink.net) writes:
> 
>   The cotton swab just held the cold LN2 there long enough to do the
> work of freezing the wart.  And with the wart killed, your body can
> make some new fresh skin underneath to replace it.  There isn't
> anything corrosive about it, just the concentrated cold.
> -- 
> Bruce L. Bergman blCHURRObergman@ NOearthSPAMlink.netEVER  Remove the caps.
> Troubleshooter - Electrician, Phones, HVAC, Plumbing,... 

  So you'll appreciate this story.  At the start of the 90's, a repair guy
  was working on the machine room subfloor cooler - a unit somewhat more
  substantial than my home fridge.  There were two units which were installed
  in the mid 70's to cool a medium sized IBM 360 installation, then the
  later 370s and possibly a pair of Xerox 9700 printers.

  The man must have had very warty hand(s), because the escaping Freon
  caused him extreme agony.  I never found out what the aftermath was,
  but until that shop was closed in 93 he never showed up again. 

######

From: D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 25 Dec 2000 16:59:44 -0600
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71572


"Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net> wrote:
[]I wrote:
[]> (Similarly, you can create coherent light without a laser simply by
[]> spinning a magnet about a million billion times per second.)
[]
[]djim55@boingydatasync.com wrote:
[]> Oh, which billions ? American or European ?
[]
[]UK != Europe.  The US and the French use the same billion.

I was being silly. Monty Python.  "African or European swallow ?"

Has something to do with coconuts.

And I've known of the difference in counting systems for some
decades now.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 22, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 02:06:21 GMT
Message-ID: <977796381.18690.0.nnrp-12.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>
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Heinz W. Wiggeshoff <ab528@freenet.carleton.ca> wrote:
>Bruce Bergman (blCHURRObergman@earthlink.net) writes:
>> 
>>   The cotton swab just held the cold LN2 there long enough to do the
>> work of freezing the wart.  And with the wart killed, your body can
>> make some new fresh skin underneath to replace it.  There isn't
>> anything corrosive about it, just the concentrated cold.

>  So you'll appreciate this story.  At the start of the 90's, a repair guy
>  was working on the machine room subfloor cooler - a unit somewhat more
>  substantial than my home fridge.  
<snip what computer it was cooling>
>  The man must have had very warty hand(s), because the escaping Freon
>  caused him extreme agony.  I never found out what the aftermath was,
>  but until that shop was closed in 93 he never showed up again. 

Different case.
The fact that it's rapidly flowing makes it take away heat MUCH more
efficiantly.

-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
"Looks like his brainwaves crash a little short of the beach..."    - Duckman.

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 02:08:28 GMT
Message-ID: <977796508.17348.0.nnrp-09.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>
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John Varela <javnews@earthlink.net> wrote:
>On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 14:15:27, jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) 
>wrote:

>> And how many movie/TV shows have computer login scenes where the
>> password is echoed in cleartext?

>Or the whizkids solve a password one character at a time.

Depressingly, with windows, this is sometimes possible.

Take a dialup connection.
The password is *'d out, so that casual snoopers can't see it.
But, as it can be edited, you just replace the last letter, till it works,
and then go backwards.

-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
"Looks like his brainwaves crash a little short of the beach..."    - Duckman.

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 26 Dec 2000 12:36:24 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <92a3c8$21m$1@teabag.cbhnet>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71447

In article <vd2NzVOTNb7v-pn2-Y9HzDXdwmRdm@dialup-209.244.210.95.washington2.level3.net>,
	javnews@earthlink.net (John Varela) writes:
> Or the whizkids solve a password one character at a time.

Wasn't this possible on TENEX, by putting the password data across a
page boundary?  Or is that UL?

Chris.

######

Lines: 12
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From: bbreynolds@aol.comskipthis (Bruce B. Reynolds)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Date: 26 Dec 2000 18:06:32 GMT
References: <927jh2$60b$1@saltmine.radix.net>
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
X-Newsreader: Session Scheduler
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71529

In article <927jh2$60b$1@saltmine.radix.net>, "Keith F. Lynch"
<kfl@KeithLynch.net> writes:

>Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
>could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
>direction between each one?)

Reindeer with high momentum toward the axis???
--
Bruce B. Reynolds, Independent/Legacy Systems Consultant: Trailing Edge
Technologies, Glenside PA---Sweeping Up Behind Data Processing Dinosaurs

######

From: "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 21:55:36 +0000
Message-ID: <3A4913D8.E144C927@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71537

"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:

> I'd like to cover my ceiling with a dense array of red, green, and
> blue LEDs.  It would serve as room lights, and would double as a TV

Curious you should say that. I recently started working out the
parameters of such an array for use as a planetarium.

-- 
I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal
lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N.  http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/
"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book as a woman
is with child." CS Lewis - Till we have faces, Ch 21.

######

From: "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 21:59:29 +0000
Message-ID: <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71536

"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:

> Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
> could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
> direction between each one?)

He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.

-- 
I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal
lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N.  http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/
"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book as a woman
is with child." CS Lewis - Till we have faces, Ch 21.

######

From: genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 22:30:32 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71508

"Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net> wrote:

>In article <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com>, Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com> wrote:
>> in movies: cars burst into flames when falling off roads or in
>> severe accidents ...
>
>In the TV show The Simpsons, anything that gets bumped or knocked over
>will instantly burst into flames.  For instance a teacher's desk being
>tipped on its side by unruly students.  I like how the show spoofs
>Hollywood's tiresome tropes.

     About five years ago, I found a site that had the cartoon laws of
physics and another that debunked superhero events.  Unfortunately, I
don't have the links, but of the second, my favourite was:

     The dam has burst and there's a building right in the path of the
water.  Superman flies, picks up the building, and . . .

     DEBUNK: The corner breaks off in his hands.  After all, most
buildings aren't engineered to be picked up by one corner.

     If either of these sites are familiar to you, please E-mail me
with the URL.  TIA.

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko

Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation:
     I have preferences.
     You have biases.
     He/She has prejudices.

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 26 Dec 2000 22:40:32 GMT
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71528

"Bob Billing " (unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk) writes:

  Well, look who's back!

> "Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
> 
>> I'd like to cover my ceiling with a dense array of red, green, and
>> blue LEDs.  It would serve as room lights, and would double as a TV
> 
> Curious you should say that. I recently started working out the
> parameters of such an array for use as a planetarium.

  Just this past month or so, one of Popular [Science | Mechanics] had
  an item about the large screen ads in New York's Times Square.

  Thousands of LEDS embedded in a black rubber matrix, and a massive
  control system.  Typical 'murrican excess for advertising.

  The success of this system awaited the development of the blue LED.

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 18:43:20 -0600
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71592

On Tue, 26 Dec 2000 22:30:32 GMT, genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko)
wrote:

>"Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net> wrote:
<snip>
>     About five years ago, I found a site that had the cartoon laws of
>physics and another that debunked superhero events.  Unfortunately, I
>don't have the links, but of the second, my favourite was:
>
>     The dam has burst and there's a building right in the path of the
>water.  Superman flies, picks up the building, and . . .
>
>     DEBUNK: The corner breaks off in his hands.  After all, most
>buildings aren't engineered to be picked up by one corner.
>
>     If either of these sites are familiar to you, please E-mail me
>with the URL.  TIA.

go to Google.com and search for "Cartoon Laws of Physics"
you get all kinds of hits

 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 19:05:42 -0600
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71577


Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com> wrote:
[]go to Google.com and search for "Cartoon Laws of Physics"
[]you get all kinds of hits

  The game 'Toon by Steve Jackson Games is based on the 1930s-1950s
cartoons and the things you can do/get away with using cartoon
physics.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 22, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: Lionel <nop@alt.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 12:52:02 +1100
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71582

Word has it that on 26 Dec 2000 01:54:26 +0800, in this august forum,
Paul Repacholi <prep@prep.synonet.com> said:

>Neil Franklin <neil@franklin.ch.remove> writes:
>
>> > I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
>> > have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?
>> 
>> I have seen it done with sausage, frankfurters to be exact.
>
>Works with fingers. Don't ask, OK.

Let me guess, you're referring to a number of, uh, 'incidents' in Japan
during WWII, right?


-- 
   W          
 . | ,. w ,   "Some people are alive only because
  \|/  \|/     it is illegal to kill them."    Perna condita delenda est
---^----^---------------------------------------------------------------

######

Message-ID: <3A495A48.AA3F5FE@ev1.net>
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 18:56:09 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71587

"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
> 
> In article <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com>, Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com> wrote:
> > In a way, I lament the way all the current technology has no real
> > sound.  Daisy wheel, dot matrix, chain, drum printers were loud and
> > annoying to be near, but at a distance, you could tell what they
> > were doing and how well.
> 
> Similarly with modem signals.  With Bell 103 (300 baud and down)
> it was easy to tell whether something was being transmitted.  When
> something was going to take a while, I could go read a book and
> listen for when I got my prompt back.
> 
> And while I was never quite able to tell by ear exactly what ASCII
> characters were being sent, I was able to write a program to convey
> output in morse code using NULs and DELs.  (Yes, they were distorted
> by the start and stop bits, but were still readable with a little
> practice.)
> 
> In fact, I once built a completely non-electronic terminal and modem
> as a hack.  Eight switches were set by hand for each character, which
> was scanned by a rapidly rotating turntable divided into ten pie
> slices.  I used a record player turntable directly driven by a 1800
> RPM vacuum cleaner motor.  The pie slices were made from aluminum foil
> and duct tape.  (Unfortunately, it had a nasty tendency to sometimes
> suddenly explode into a cloud of confetti.  300 baud is FAST!)
> 
Reminds me of the mechanical television design that was put forward by
General Electric, IIRC. The U.S. standardized on the RCA design for
electronic television, though. But the mechanical TV involved some sort
of spinning disk... Maybe someone can post details???

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Message-ID: <3A495B1D.4AA5DB56@ev1.net>
Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 18:59:42 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71593

"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
> 
>      [snip...]     [sip...]     [snip...]
> 
> Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
> could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
> direction between each one?)
>
That's easy...Santa just pops in and out of subspace...the same way that
the Star Trek starships exceed the speed of light in our universe by
popping in and out of subspace, which exists in a parallel dimension.

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

Sender: prep@k9.prep.synonet.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3A3DF42A.92E156E1@ev1.net> <3A3E4AB6.DF2D9183@uchicago.edu> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91ts1r$3im$3@teabag.cbhnet> <91vnlv$ean$1@top.mitre.org> <vd2NzVOTNb7v-pn2-Y9HzDXdwmRdm@dialup-209.244.210.95.Washington2.Level3.net> <92a3c8$21m$1@teabag.cbhnet>
From: Paul Repacholi <prep@prep.synonet.com>
Date: 27 Dec 2000 11:40:37 +0800
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71545

cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley) writes:

> In article <vd2NzVOTNb7v-pn2-Y9HzDXdwmRdm@dialup-209.244.210.95.washington2.level3.net>,
> 	javnews@earthlink.net (John Varela) writes:
> > Or the whizkids solve a password one character at a time.
> 
> Wasn't this possible on TENEX, by putting the password data across a
> page boundary?  Or is that UL?

No, it was real. TENEX delayed the return by 3(?) seconds if the password
failed. Alas, I checked char at a time from the user space string...
So fill your VA space, put A at the end of the last page, and feed
the exec. When you got the PAgeFault error, you had char 1, shift left
and repeat... Bust a password in average of 30 sec.

Not that you needed that when you had an Oper with a username of
Zaphod. No prizes, sorry!

-- 
Paul Repacholi                               1 Crescent Rd.,
+61 (08) 9257-1001                           Kalamunda.
                                             West Australia 6076
Raw, Cooked or Well-done, it's all half baked.

######

Message-ID: <3A497B83.CC618A36@uchicago.edu>
From: Simon Allaway <simona@uchicago.edu>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71455

"Heinz W. Wiggeshoff" wrote:
> 
> "Bob Billing " (unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk) writes:
> 
>   Well, look who's back!

Indeed. How's the book coming along Uncle Bob?

Simon

######

From: Joe Pfeiffer <pfeiffer@cs.nmsu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 26 Dec 2000 23:06:15 -0700
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71544

genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
> 
>      The dam has burst and there's a building right in the path of the
> water.  Superman flies, picks up the building, and . . .
> 
>      DEBUNK: The corner breaks off in his hands.  After all, most
> buildings aren't engineered to be picked up by one corner.

I'm sorry to have to admit that I know this...  a few years ago, they
actually put some thought into making Superman's powers be not so
obviously ludicrous.  The best conclusion was that his powers are
actually psychic, and the physical stuff he does is just for focus.
So when he picks up the corner of the house, the force isn't really
applied there.  That's also the reason why nobody recognizes him when
he puts on glasses.
-- 
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D.       Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science       FAX   -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University          http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
VL 2000 Homepage:  http://www.cs.orst.edu/~burnett/vl2000/

######

From: Charles Eicher <ceicher@inav.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 26 Dec 2000 22:55:39 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71492

In article <1bsnnabdpk.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>, Joe says...
>
>genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
>> 
>>      The dam has burst and there's a building right in the path of the
>> water.  Superman flies, picks up the building, and . . .
>> 
>>      DEBUNK: The corner breaks off in his hands.  After all, most
>> buildings aren't engineered to be picked up by one corner.
>
>I'm sorry to have to admit that I know this...  a few years ago, they
>actually put some thought into making Superman's powers be not so
>obviously ludicrous.  The best conclusion was that his powers are
>actually psychic, and the physical stuff he does is just for focus.
>So when he picks up the corner of the house, the force isn't really
>applied there.  That's also the reason why nobody recognizes him when
>he puts on glasses.

You guys aren't keeping up with postmodernist literary theory. Superman does not
exist, he is merely the fantasy of the impotent Clark Kent, who is unable to do
anything other than fantasize about impressing Lois with feats of daring.
I think this whole revisionist trend was started by Harlan Ellison, who wrote a
satire that asked pesky questions like "would contraceptives work against
SuperSperm?"

######

From: Howard S Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 08:23:11 -0500
Organization: MindSpring Enterprises
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71596

In article <92c3pb017fr@edrn.newsguy.com>, Charles Eicher <ceicher@inav.net> 
wrote:

>I think this whole revisionist trend was started by Harlan Ellison, who 
>wrote a
>satire that asked pesky questions like "would contraceptives work against
>SuperSperm?"

"Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex", by Niven (IIRC), would say that it doesn't 
matter.
-- 
Howard S Shubs
"Run in circles, scream and shout!"  "I hope you have good backups!"

######

From: john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 27 Dec 2000 15:11:17 -0000
Organization: The Linux Emporium
Message-ID: <92d0ql$2im$1@polo.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71484

In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>,  <jmfbahciv@aol.com> wrote:
>In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>   "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
>>
>>> Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
>>> could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
>>> direction between each one?)
>>
>>He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>>constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
>>each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
>
><GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?

To understand this you have to appreciate the wave nature of cookie crumbs.

John
-- 
John Winters.  Wallingford, Oxon, England.

The Linux Emporium - the source for Linux CDs in the UK
See http://www.linuxemporium.co.uk/

######

From: Jim Stewart <jstewart@jkmicro.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 09:16:14 -0800
Organization: http://www.jkmicro.com
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71462

John Winters wrote:
> 
> In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>,  <jmfbahciv@aol.com> wrote:
> >In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
> >   "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> >>"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
> >>
> >>> Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
> >>> could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
> >>> direction between each one?)
> >>
> >>He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
> >>constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
> >>each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
> >
> ><GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?
> 
> To understand this you have to appreciate the wave nature of cookie crumbs.

And the relationship between quarks and milk.

######

From: "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 09:11:03 +0000
Message-ID: <3A49B227.CC2B23B0@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
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Simon Allaway wrote:

> Indeed. How's the book coming along Uncle Bob?

 The Great Rewrite has now passed the three-quarters point. From here on
it's fairly straightforward and I'm hoping to have a submission MS early
in the new year. I'm not really back on usenet, but it is Christmas.

-- 
I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal
lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N.  http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/
"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book as a woman
is with child." CS Lewis - Till we have faces, Ch 21.

######

From: ddotpowell@netnospamscapeonline.co.uk (David Powell)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 20:14:36 GMT
Reply-To: ddotpowell@netscapeonline.co.uk
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71619

On 25 Dec 2000 01:32:44 -0500, "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
wrote:

>I was inspired by Reginald Fessenden, who, 94 years ago today,
>broadcast Handel's Largo on the first continuous wave radio
>transmitter.  How did he do this when transistors and even triode
>vacuum tubes hadn't been invented yet?  (Actually, the triode had been
>invented a few weeks earlier, but he didn't know it.)  He simply built
>an ordinary rotating generator, like those used to produce 60 Hz
>current.  Only he made it with LOTS of poles, and set it to spinning
>at just below the speed it would fly to pieces.  The result was radio
>frequency current!

Yes, used for CW when the only alternative was spark gap transmitters.
AIUI, the output was keyed between a dummy load and the aerial.
They were invariably heteropolar induction alternators, quite
different to the synchronous alternator. Both the field and the output
windings were in the stator, and the rotor was simply slotted  iron.
With one cycle of ouput per slot (not per pole-pair) then at 3000rpm,
2000slots, 100kHz output - it's quite practicable. Right now, I'm
listening to BBC R4, on 198kHz, they use tetrodes, but it would be
possible to use an induction alternator at that frequency. The
difficulty is how to modulate the carrier. How did Fessenden do that 
with Largo? Any ideas? Very large carbon microphone as a field
regulator? <g>

Regards,

David P.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 00 11:45:59 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
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Message-ID: <92fd6h$8tq$3@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71636

In article <3a4a6656.56919395@news.compuserve.com>,
   Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke) wrote:
>On Wed, 27 Dec 00 13:42:42 GMT, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:
>
>
>My family always left scotch and cookies. 

My Dad always had a fire going so we wouldn't get any 
presents.  But I never thought that the presents had
burnt up.

> It never seemed odd to me.
>After all, Santa was a grownup.  Why would he drink milk?

To dunk the cookies in.  He was old and had to gum food.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 00 12:09:50 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 27
Message-ID: <92fej7$8tq$6@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71639

In article <92d0ql$2im$1@polo.demon.co.uk>,
   john@polo.demon.co.uk (John Winters) wrote:
>In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>,  <jmfbahciv@aol.com> wrote:
>>In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>>   "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>>"Keith F. Lynch" wrote:
>>>
>>>> Fortunately, centrifugal force is a fictional force.  (Otherwise how
>>>> could Santa Claus have visited billions of homes last night, changing
>>>> direction between each one?)
>>>
>>>He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>>>constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
>>>each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
>>
>><GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?
>
>To understand this you have to appreciate the wave 
>nature of cookie crumbs.

Ah, I never heard of that.  The only cookies that had 
waves on them were peanut butter cookies...but I used
a fork to do that.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 00 11:46:45 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 15
Message-ID: <92fd7u$8tq$4@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71642

In article <3A49B227.CC2B23B0@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
   "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>Simon Allaway wrote:
>
>> Indeed. How's the book coming along Uncle Bob?
>
> The Great Rewrite has now passed the three-quarters point. From here on
>it's fairly straightforward and I'm hoping to have a submission MS early
>in the new year. I'm not really back on usenet, but it is Christmas.

And seeing a post from you was a fine Christmas present.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: bhk@dsl.co.uk (Brian {Hamilton Kelly})
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 18:54:43 GMT
Organization: Dragonhill Systems Ltd
Message-ID: <977943283snz@dsl.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71672

In article <B4C5B4AC67116D21.AD4FAE54D62AB7BE.25C052A813F63D2B@lp.airnews.net>
           jstewart@jkmicro.com "Jim Stewart" writes:

> John Winters wrote:
> > 
> > 
> > To understand this you have to appreciate the wave nature of cookie crumbs.
> 
> And the relationship between quarks and milk.

Sorry, all milk must henceforth be supplied in litres.

-- 
Brian {Hamilton Kelly}                                          bhk@dsl.co.uk
    "We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of
    distributed ignorance.  And we know and understand less while being incr-
    easingly capable."                          Prof. Peter Cochrane, BT Labs

######

From: jsavard@ecn.ab.SBLOK.ca.nowhere (John Savard)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <3a4a687f.7828577@news.powersurfr.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71661

On 18 Dec 2000 12:35:08 +1100, zs@ender.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Zoltan Somogyi)
wrote, in part:

>Apparently, by the 23rd centry mankind has
>not only gotten around the lightspeed barrier with warp drives, they have
>also gotten around the Shannon limit on how much information can be encoded
>in five keystrokes on a Mac keyboard.

And remember, if Scotty thought the mouse was a microphone, it's
unlikely he would know about Mac keyboard shortcuts.

Obviously, that computer only _looked_ like a Mac, but had some hybrid
GUI/natural language command line interface. Maybe it was running some
software that was still used in the 23rd century.

Mathematica?

To me, the scene made absolutely _no_ sense; if it had made some
sense, it could have been an in-joke.

John Savard
http://home.ecn.ab.ca/~jsavard/crypto.htm

######

From: Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 22:14:05 GMT
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On Wed, 27 Dec 00 13:42:42 GMT, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:


My family always left scotch and cookies.  It never seemed odd to me.
After all, Santa was a grownup.  Why would he drink milk?

Dav Vandenbroucke
dav_and_frances_vandenbroucke@compuserve.com

######

From: jsavard@ecn.ab.SBLOK.ca.nowhere (John Savard)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <3a4a696b.8064488@news.powersurfr.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net> <3A495A48.AA3F5FE@ev1.net>
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On Tue, 26 Dec 2000 18:56:09 -0800, Charles Richmond
<richmond@ev1.net> wrote, in part:

>Reminds me of the mechanical television design that was put forward by
>General Electric, IIRC. The U.S. standardized on the RCA design for
>electronic television, though. But the mechanical TV involved some sort
>of spinning disk... Maybe someone can post details???

The first color television standard approved by the FCC in 1951 was
the field sequential system proposed by CBS. This system used a color
wheel with red, green, and blue filters rotating in front of a black
and white set to give a color picture.

Instead of 60 fields a second, to make, after interlace, 30 frames per
second, the CBS system used 144 fields a second. It was still double
interlaced, so dividing by 6 (3 colors, 2 interlaced fields) one got
24 frames per second, with every part of the screen accessed in both
colors.

Resolution was lowered from 525 lines vertically to 405 lines
vertically (the same as used for early British black-and-white
television!).

Much interesting information is at:

http://www.novia.net/~ereitan/Color_Sys_CBS.html

John Savard
http://home.ecn.ab.ca/~jsavard/crypto.htm

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <3a4a6656.56919395@news.compuserve.com>
Organization: paradise.net.nz customer
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71662

Dav Vandenbroucke <Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com> wrote:
>My family always left scotch and cookies.  It never seemed odd to me.
>After all, Santa was a grownup.  Why would he drink milk?

Civil aviation authorities tend to take a dim view of people, bearded or
not, being drunk in charge of an aircraft.

-- don

######

From: genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2000 22:40:41 GMT
Organization: Okanagan Internet Junction
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Charles Eicher <ceicher@inav.net> wrote:

>In article <1bsnnabdpk.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>, Joe says...
>>
>>genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
>>> 
>>>      The dam has burst and there's a building right in the path of the
>>> water.  Superman flies, picks up the building, and . . .
>>> 
>>>      DEBUNK: The corner breaks off in his hands.  After all, most
>>> buildings aren't engineered to be picked up by one corner.
>>
>>I'm sorry to have to admit that I know this...  a few years ago, they
>>actually put some thought into making Superman's powers be not so
>>obviously ludicrous.  The best conclusion was that his powers are
>>actually psychic, and the physical stuff he does is just for focus.
>>So when he picks up the corner of the house, the force isn't really
>>applied there.  That's also the reason why nobody recognizes him when
>>he puts on glasses.
>
>You guys aren't keeping up with postmodernist literary theory. Superman does not
>exist, he is merely the fantasy of the impotent Clark Kent, who is unable to do
>anything other than fantasize about impressing Lois with feats of daring.
>I think this whole revisionist trend was started by Harlan Ellison, who wrote a
>satire that asked pesky questions like "would contraceptives work against
>SuperSperm?"

     Are you thinking of Larry Niven's "Man of Steel, Woman of
Kleenex"?

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko

Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation:
     I have preferences.
     You have biases.
     He/She has prejudices.

######

From: Simon Lyall <simon@darkmere.gen.nz>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 27 Dec 2000 23:52:29 GMT
Organization: Darkmere Private Access Internet, Auckland, NZ.
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John Savard <jsavard@ecn.ab.sblok.ca.nowhere> wrote:
>Obviously, that computer only _looked_ like a Mac, but had some hybrid
>GUI/natural language command line interface. Maybe it was running some
>software that was still used in the 23rd century.
>To me, the scene made absolutely _no_ sense; if it had made some
>sense, it could have been an in-joke.

Well being a techie from the 23rd Century, Scotty would have course have 
powerful nano-computers implanted into his body. As soon as he realized 
that this machine wasn't very smart he just upload the plans directly to a 
file (via beaming it directly to the memory) and then started up a file 
viewer to show the locals each page.

-- 
Simon J. Lyall | Very Busy | Web: http://www.darkmere.gen.nz/
"Inside me Im Screaming, Nobody pays any attention."  |  eMT.

Due to impending global destruction and the extinction of all life,
access to international sites may be interrupted. 

We apologize for the inconvenience.

######

From: jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 27 Dec 2000 19:46:42 -0500
Organization: Jeff's House of Electronic Parts
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>>For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
>>login challenge as you might expect:
>>
>>    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
>>    ENTER PASSWORD:
>>    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
>>    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
>>    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
>>    <user enters password here>
>>
>>The three lines terminated by only <CR> are printed over each other,
>>leaving a mess on the paper into which the user would type the
>>password,

Ah, kinda like the squiggles inside the "security" envelopes
so you can't read thru them!

For speed, I cheated and used just "X" and "O" for huge
block lettering programs.
(the Gothic letter program was very popular on 132 column fanfold-paper
line printers for wall-sized banners)

>MTS used rows of W, M, B, and I.
>
>>making it difficult (but not impossible) to read the user's
>>password from the printout.
>
>The way to make it impossible was to hold a card between the
>typeball and the paper as you typed your password.  (Of course,
>then you had to treat the card as secure waste, but it was much
>more convenient to dispose of it than your printout.)

That's logical since back then,
punched cards were just about everywhere with trashed ones-a-plenty.

If only the old old Flexowriters had the STENCIL mode
where the ribbon was turned off completely!

*sniff* I used a Friden Flexowriter for a while:
nothing more than a manual typewriter with solenoids on each key.
The baudot code was a keystroke, including shift-up, shift-down!)

The Diablo daisy wheel printers *used to* support 2 color ribbons
(red/black) but the ribbons were impossible to obtain even in the 1990s
particularly as film ribbons were preferred over cloth.
-- 
Jeffrey Jonas
jeffj@panix(dot)com
The original Dr. JCL and Mr .hide

######

From: Charles Eicher <ceicher@inav.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 27 Dec 2000 17:06:59 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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In article <3a4a496a.9651734@news.shuswap.net>, genew@shuswap.net says...
>
>Charles Eicher <ceicher@inav.net> wrote:
>
>>In article <1bsnnabdpk.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>, Joe says...
>>>
>>>genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:
>>>> 
>>>>      The dam has burst and there's a building right in the path of the
>>>> water.  Superman flies, picks up the building, and . . .
>>>> 
>>>>      DEBUNK: The corner breaks off in his hands.  After all, most
>>>> buildings aren't engineered to be picked up by one corner.
>>>
>>>I'm sorry to have to admit that I know this...  a few years ago, they
>>>actually put some thought into making Superman's powers be not so
>>>obviously ludicrous.  The best conclusion was that his powers are
>>>actually psychic, and the physical stuff he does is just for focus.
>>>So when he picks up the corner of the house, the force isn't really
>>>applied there.  That's also the reason why nobody recognizes him when
>>>he puts on glasses.
>>
>>You guys aren't keeping up with postmodernist literary theory. Superman does not
>>exist, he is merely the fantasy of the impotent Clark Kent, who is unable to do
>>anything other than fantasize about impressing Lois with feats of daring.
>>I think this whole revisionist trend was started by Harlan Ellison, who wrote a
>>satire that asked pesky questions like "would contraceptives work against
>>SuperSperm?"
>
>     Are you thinking of Larry Niven's "Man of Steel, Woman of
>Kleenex"?

I don't think I ever read that, but maybe I misremembered. I read so much SF it
all tends to blend together. ISTR a whole list of pesky questions, it wasn't
just about women and Supersperm. Maybe it was Ellison responding to Niven.
Actually, the funniest Superman parody I ever saw was published many years ago
in the National Lampoon, a story about Superboy's adolesence. He was constantly
aroused since he could see through all the girl's clothing..

######

From: "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 27 Dec 2000 22:53:09 -0500
Organization: United Individualist
Lines: 22
Message-ID: <92edf5$nn6$1@saltmine.radix.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net> <3a4a4c2b.78665@newshost.netscapeonline.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71653

In article <3a4a4c2b.78665@newshost.netscapeonline.co.uk>,
David Powell <ddotpowell@netscapeonline.co.uk> wrote:
> The difficulty is how to modulate the carrier. How did Fessenden do
> that with Largo? Any ideas? Very large carbon microphone as a field
> regulator?

Most likely.  That's how I would have done it.  And that's how it
was still done in the 1920s with the earliest commercial broadcast
stations.  The mike was put in series with the antenna, and the full
RF current went through it.  For all but the smallest stations, the
microphone had to be water cooled.  (I'm sure the running water didn't
do much for the audio quality.)  And woe to anyone who got too close
to it, as they'd get nasty RF burns.

I used to use a CW morse code transmitter which had 700 volts across
the key.  Whenever I got careless and touched a metal part of the key,
it would burn off a few square inches of skin.
-- 
Keith F. Lynch - kfl@keithlynch.net - http://keithlynch.net/
I always welcome replies to my e-mail, postings, and web pages, but
unsolicited bulk e-mail sent to thousands of randomly collected
addresses is not acceptable, and I do complain to the spammer's ISP.

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net> <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com> <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk>
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In article <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk>, "Adam Atkinson"
<ghira@mistral.co.uk> wrote:

> Well, I've seen it done in real life with flowers and rubber tubing.
> I've also seen it done on TV with chocolate. Shattering like glass
> would be about right.
> 
> I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
> have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?

Unless you really work at it, not much of anything. Liquid nitrogen may be
cold, but it has such a low specific heat that it takes a disproportionatly
large amount of liquid nitrogen (LN) to do much cooling to just about
anything else, and even then it doesn't do it quickly.

You've seen them dip a rose into LN. Think back. When they did, it was a
rose with very thin petals in a large flask of LN, right? And they held it
in there for a while, with the LN boiling vigorously the whole time? Sure,
the rose shatters nicely afterward, but it takes more than a couple of
drops of LN to do it.

It takes even longer to freeze rubber tubing and hollow rubber balls, but
I've never seen anyone try it with solid rubber. That would have taken long
enough to take the edge off the trick.

I wouldn't like to spill LN in my eye, but I wouldn't be afraid to have it
touch my skin (as long as it wasn't for an extended period of time). My
biggest concern in the case of a spill in a tunnel would be that the
evaporated nitrogen might have displaced the oxygen, and I wouldn't know
until I keeled over.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <hnsngr-ya023180002712002302510001@news.flash.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71665

In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:

> In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>    "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> >
> >He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
> >constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
> >each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
> 
> <GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?

They fall into the quantum black holes he leaves behind.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: mrr@foo.eunet.no (Morten Reistad)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 28 Dec 2000 10:10:56 GMT
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In article <hnsngr-ya023180002712002301550001@news.flash.net>,
Ron Hunsinger <hnsngr@sirius.com> wrote:
>In article <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk>, "Adam Atkinson"
><ghira@mistral.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> Well, I've seen it done in real life with flowers and rubber tubing.
>> I've also seen it done on TV with chocolate. Shattering like glass
>> would be about right.
>> 
>> I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
>> have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?
>
>Unless you really work at it, not much of anything. Liquid nitrogen may be
>cold, but it has such a low specific heat that it takes a disproportionatly
>large amount of liquid nitrogen (LN) to do much cooling to just about
>anything else, and even then it doesn't do it quickly.

Liquid Nitrogen is also a househould ingredient for the enterprising
people of today.

Makes wonderful, low-fat icecream in a jiffy.

(Yep; i have friends of the type that runs across town with a
thermos full of N2 from some lab, to get home and make icecream.)


-- Morten Reistad <firstname@lastname.priv.no>

######

From: "Roger Johnstone" <rojaws@mac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 2000 00:00:08 +1300
Organization: ihug ( New Zealand )
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----------
In article <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk>, "Adam Atkinson"
<ghira@mistral.co.uk> wrote:

> Well, I've seen it done in real life with flowers and rubber tubing.
> I've also seen it done on TV with chocolate. Shattering like glass
> would be about right.
>
> I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
> have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?

I did see it done with bones, years ago on a TV programme, can't remember
which one. They did two demonstrations with bones. One was placed in a fire,
another in, I assume, liquid nitrogen. The one in the fire became very
brittle, as you would expect. The bone in the cold stuff became like rubber,
it looked and behaved just like a dog's toy rubber bone. Very strange.

--
Roger Johnstone, Invercargill, New Zealand

Apple II - Future Cop:LAPD - Warcraft II
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~rojaws
______________________________________________________________________
the Bishop of Bath and Wells, from the Blackadder II episode "Money"
"You fiend, never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded
perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the church?!"

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 28 Dec 2000 11:40:00 GMT
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71654

Morten Reistad (mrr@foo.eunet.no) writes:
> 
> Liquid Nitrogen is also a househould ingredient for the enterprising
> people of today.
> 
> Makes wonderful, low-fat icecream in a jiffy.
> 
> (Yep; i have friends of the type that runs across town with a
> thermos full of N2 from some lab, to get home and make icecream.)

  Recipe, please!  (Although I won't be making ice cream in Ottawa for
  several months despite all the hype about global warming.)

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 28 Dec 2000 13:46:35 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71626

"Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> writes:

>Joe Morris writes:

[snip "password mask" story]

>>making it difficult (but not impossible) to read the user's
>>password from the printout.

>The way to make it impossible was to hold a card between the
>typeball and the paper as you typed your password.  (Of course,
>then you had to treat the card as secure waste, but it was much
>more convenient to dispose of it than your printout.)

...but that technique was rather hard to implement on a glass TTY. <g>

Yes, I too kept a card in my coat pocket for that purpose, thus
demonstrating yet another non-standard use for punch card stock.

Joe Morris

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2000 08:25:43 +0000
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71683

On Wed, 27 Dec 2000 22:37:58 GMT, Don Stokes <don@news.daedalus.co.nz> wrote:

>>My family always left scotch and cookies.  It never seemed odd to me.
>>After all, Santa was a grownup.  Why would he drink milk?
>
>Civil aviation authorities tend to take a dim view of people, bearded or
>not, being drunk in charge of an aircraft.

Maybe Santa should drive a canal barge instead.

--
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/c0deZ/globeApplet/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 28 Dec 2000 14:01:30 GMT
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javnews@earthlink.net (John Varela) writes:

>We used Teletype machines for online I/O back in the early 60s, but we never 
>called them Teletypes or teleprinters.  They were KSRs, ASRs, and ROs.

That's when they worked.  Other names were used when they didn't. <g>

Joe Morris

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 28 Dec 2000 14:09:12 GMT
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andrew@cucumber.demon.co.uk (Andrew Gabriel) writes:

>This got me curious, because I remember something similar on OS4000,
>so I just booted a system and tried setting a tty port to believe it
>was talking to a half-duplex terminal (VDU, not printing  terminal),
>and it did this:

>OS4000 Rel 6.5 A034 on A7 SUN 24 DEC 2000 08:51:16
>Logging in
>user <user enters userid here>
>password
>AN1EO8ICT0SRL6DP2M4HB3FQW5GXJ7UV9ZYE1NACI8ORS0TPD6LH4M2QF3BXG5WVU7JYZ9ICN<CR>
><user enters password here>
>AN1EO8ICT0SRL6DP2M4HB3FQW5GXJ7UV9ZYE1NACI8ORS0TPD6LH4M2QF3BXG5WVU7JYZ9ICA<CRLF>

>This seemed quite effective, the 3 bottom lines all being overprinted
>on the VDU (only the last remaining visible).

True, but it represents a design which was created with the glass TTY
in mind, rather than the hardcopy TTY where the entire mask would be
typed before the user enters the password.  (It also leaves the
password visible as it is entered until the user hits the CR key and
the final line overtypes the password.)

Joe Morris

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2000 14:12:24 GMT
Message-ID: <978012744.14954.0.nnrp-01.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>
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Ron Hunsinger <hnsngr@sirius.com> wrote:
>In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:

>> In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>>    "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> >
>> >He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>> >constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
>> >each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
>> 
>> <GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?

>They fall into the quantum black holes he leaves behind.

This theory does fail to explain the lack of large explosions as they
subsequently evaporate. (I make it 450Kt/mince pie).

We are most fortunate that santa has a better grasp of sleigh related 
physics than some of the posters in this newsgroup :)


-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
Things a surgeon should never say:
Better save that for the autopsy.

######

Date: 28 Dec 2000 19:55:14 +0000
From: "Adam Atkinson" <ghira@mistral.co.uk>
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net> <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com> <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk> <hnsngr-ya023180002712002301550001@news.flash.net>
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On 28-Dec-00 07:01:15, Ron Hunsinger said:

>You've seen them dip a rose into LN. Think back. When they did, it was a
>rose with very thin petals in a large flask of LN, right?

It was a fairly slender flower in a bowl of LN.

> And they held it
>in there for a while, with the LN boiling vigorously the whole time? Sure,
>the rose shatters nicely afterward, but it takes more than a couple of
>drops of LN to do it.

Oh, sure. It was a big bowl of the stuff. A few drops wouldn't do
anything.

>It takes even longer to freeze rubber tubing and hollow rubber balls, but
>I've never seen anyone try it with solid rubber. That would have taken long
>enough to take the edge off the trick.

The context was a talk about pictures arriving that day from one of
the spacecraft that was just arriving at one of the outer planets. So
the LN was to demonstrate the temperatures involved. So it being quick
or not wasn't an issue.

-- 
Adam Atkinson (ghira@mistral.co.uk)
Poor Impulse Control

######

From: bmarcum@iglou.com (Bill Marcum)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2000 20:50:04 GMT
Organization: Pope-Wino-Hybrid Party
Message-ID: <3a4ba731.24433386@news.iglou.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net> <926uji$ngi$1@news.datasync.com> <927jh2$60b$1@saltmine.radix.net> <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <hnsngr-ya023180002712002302510001@news.flash.net> <978012744.14954.0.nnrp-01.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71730

Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am> wrote:

>Ron Hunsinger <hnsngr@sirius.com> wrote:
>>In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:
>
>>> In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>>>    "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>> >
>>> >He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>>> >constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
>>> >each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
>>> 
>>> <GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?
>
>>They fall into the quantum black holes he leaves behind.
>
>This theory does fail to explain the lack of large explosions as they
>subsequently evaporate. (I make it 450Kt/mince pie).
>
In homes without a chimney he enters through the clothes dryer vent,
which explains the missing socks...


>We are most fortunate that santa has a better grasp of sleigh related 
>physics than some of the posters in this newsgroup :)
>
>
>-- 
>http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
>---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
>Things a surgeon should never say:
>Better save that for the autopsy.

######

From: X@Y.Z.net (Jynx)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net> <926uji$ngi$1@news.datasync.com> <927jh2$60b$1@saltmine.radix.net> <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net> <hnsngr-ya023180002712002302510001@news.flash.net> <978012744.14954.0.nnrp-01.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <3a4ba731.24433386@news.iglou.com>
Message-ID: <slrn94nfd1.d0d.X@animas.frontier.net>
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Date: 28 Dec 2000 22:24:34 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71740

On Thu, 28 Dec 2000 20:50:04 GMT, Bill Marcum scribbled:
>Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am> wrote:
>
>>Ron Hunsinger <hnsngr@sirius.com> wrote:
>>>In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:
>>
>>>> In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>>>>    "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> >He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>>>> >constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
>>>> >each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
>>>> 
>>>> <GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?
>>
>>>They fall into the quantum black holes he leaves behind.
>>
>>This theory does fail to explain the lack of large explosions as they
>>subsequently evaporate. (I make it 450Kt/mince pie).
>>
>In homes without a chimney he enters through the clothes dryer vent,
>which explains the missing socks...

Boy, talk about Thread Drift....

######

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <3a4a6656.56919395@news.compuserve.com> <977956677.290503@shelley.paradise.net.nz> <slrn94lu86.4jb.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk>
Organization: Plethora . Net - More Net, Less Spam!
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From: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach)
Originator: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach)
Date: 29 Dec 2000 01:23:31 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71772

In article <slrn94lu86.4jb.benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk>,
Ben Clifford <benc@benzone.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>Maybe Santa should drive a canal barge instead.

That would be pretty unrealistic; most barges aren't fast enough.

-s
-- 
Copyright 2000, All rights reserved.  Peter Seebach / seebs@plethora.net
C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter.  Boycott Spamazon!
Consulting & Computers: http://www.plethora.net/

######

Message-ID: <3A4C2E64.FC7F28BE@mail.bcpl.net>
From: Ken McMonigal <kmcmonig@mail.bcpl.net>
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.61 [en] (Win98; I)
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <3A42C403.7AB55CE1@bell-labs.com> <D8839E59A958E290.1ED63A515FF70DFE.6FBFA2CAC3D891B6@lp.airnews.net> <b5g74tg3lt93q7h9tqcie3ra760k97u03d@4ax.com> <3A440C09.8D10427B@bell-labs.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71751

Dennis Ritchie wrote:

> Alexandre Pechtchanski wrote (quoting Maynard):
>
> > >On Fri, 22 Dec 2000 03:01:23 +0000, Dennis Ritchie <dmr@bell-labs.com> wrote:
> > >>The NL version's Morse read
> > >>  ..-. ..- -.-. -.- /  .- .-.. .-.. /  --. ..- ... .- -. --- ...
> > >
> > >Gusanos?
> >
> > Yep.  Derogatory term for Cuban immigrants, AFAIK.
>
> We have the winner.  Literally it is indeed "worms" in Spanish.
> See my first posting for why doing this in Morse was interestingly
> subtle in a parody of a Prohias cartoon.
>
>         Dennis

I'll bite (pun intended).

It's a pre-ASCII equivalent of that stuff everybody does as sig files
showing their name or some picture. In this case (no tequila pun
intended), it looks like a worm crawling.

Yes?

######

From: John Robinson <john@thebeard.org>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 2000 08:06:18 +0000
Organization: Number Ten
Message-ID: <qaho4ts5p9mi79j0l1k13j768hvab1811b@news.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71750

On 26 Dec 2000, Charles Eicher <ceicher@inav.net> wrote:
> In article <1bsnnabdpk.fsf@viper.cs.nmsu.edu>, Joe says...
> >genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes:

[Re Superman's abilities]

> You guys aren't keeping up with postmodernist literary theory. Superman does not
> exist, he is merely the fantasy of the impotent Clark Kent, who is unable to do
> anything other than fantasize about impressing Lois with feats of daring.
> I think this whole revisionist trend was started by Harlan Ellison, who wrote a
> satire that asked pesky questions like "would contraceptives work against
> SuperSperm?"

Are you thinking of Larry Niven's essay, MAN OF STEEL, WOMAN OF
KLEENEX[1], or is there another "what-if-Superman-had-sex" essay out
there? (If the latter, do you have any idea of the title?)

[1] See <http://members.tripod.com/~Dan_Donovan/humor/Man_of_Steel.html>


-- 
John Robinson     http://www.thebeard.org/     ICQ# 19852005
 
  "Give a man a fire, and he can be warm for a day. But set a man
   alight and he will be warm for the rest of his life"
                      -- Terry Pratchett, 'Jingo'

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 00 13:24:38 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 16
Message-ID: <92i7bp$9cm$4@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71793

In article <92fh3q$4ed$1@top.mitre.org>,
   jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) wrote:
>javnews@earthlink.net (John Varela) writes:
>
>>We used Teletype machines for online I/O back in the early 60s, but we 
never 
>>called them Teletypes or teleprinters.  They were KSRs, ASRs, and ROs.
>
>That's when they worked.  Other names were used when they didn't. <g>

ROTFLMAO.  I remember those names.  Things even got colorful
when they stepped on your foot.

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 00 13:27:13 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 34
Message-ID: <92i7gk$9cm$5@bob.news.rcn.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71794

In article <978012744.14954.0.nnrp-01.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>,
   Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am> wrote:
>Ron Hunsinger <hnsngr@sirius.com> wrote:
>>In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:
>
>>> In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>>>    "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>> >
>>> >He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>>> >constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode 
in
>>> >each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
>>> 
>>> <GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?
>
>>They fall into the quantum black holes he leaves behind.
>
>This theory does fail to explain the lack of large explosions as they
>subsequently evaporate. (I make it 450Kt/mince pie).

That's a good use for a mince pie.  What's the rate for
fruit cake?

>
>We are most fortunate that santa has a better grasp of sleigh related 
>physics than some of the posters in this newsgroup :)


Are you saying that they're not telling me the truth?

/BAH


Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 2000 18:05:10 GMT
Organization: Okanagan Internet Junction
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71810

bmarcum@iglou.com (Bill Marcum) wrote:

>Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am> wrote:
>
>>Ron Hunsinger <hnsngr@sirius.com> wrote:
>>>In article <92cvl2$bd3$3@bob.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote:
>>
>>>> In article <3A4914C1.DA912673@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
>>>>    "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> >He didn't. He simply uses a device which changes the value of Planck's
>>>> >constant so that the sleigh becomes a standing wave with an antinode in
>>>> >each chimney, then drops the presents all at once.
>>>> 
>>>> <GRIN>  How does he consume the milk and cookies?
>>
>>>They fall into the quantum black holes he leaves behind.
>>
>>This theory does fail to explain the lack of large explosions as they
>>subsequently evaporate. (I make it 450Kt/mince pie).

     Oh, they're there, but who'd notice in the general holiday din?

>In homes without a chimney he enters through the clothes dryer vent,
>which explains the missing socks...

     Genius, sheer genius!  That would also explain lint catching
fire.

>>We are most fortunate that santa has a better grasp of sleigh related 
>>physics than some of the posters in this newsgroup :)

     Huh!  Reality is poor imitation of fantasy.

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko

Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation:
     I have preferences.
     You have biases.
     He/She has prejudices.

######

From: "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 2000 20:25:06 +0000
Message-ID: <3A4CF322.24A7A669@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:71835

Gene Wirchenko wrote:

>      Huh!  Reality is poor imitation of fantasy.

Reality is simply a crutch for people who can't handle science fiction.

Speaking of which I finished editing about half an hour ago. There are
still a lot of purely mechanical spelling and consistency checks to go
through, and another editorial pass. But I think I'm there. Hooray!

-- 
I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal
lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N.  http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/
"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book as a woman
is with child." CS Lewis - Till we have faces, Ch 21.

######

From: Brian Inglis <Brian.dot.Inglis@SystematicSw.ab.ca>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 30 Dec 2000 18:49:28 -0700
Organization: Systematic Software
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On Sun, 24 Dec 2000 21:08:50 GMT,
Dav_and_Frances_Vandenbroucke@compuserve.com (Dav Vandenbroucke)
wrote:

>This popped up on Compuserve's hardware forum.  I think it's made up,
>but it's a funny story.

[snip funny story]

Just bought a book called "Tales from the Tech Line", David Pogue
(ed.), Berkley (Penguin Putnam), NY, 1998, ISBN 0-425-16363-6. It
references the "Tech Support Tales" web zine and site at
<URL:http://www.auricular.com/TST> which looks like it hasn't
been updated since 1996! 

Thanks. Take care, Brian Inglis 	Calgary, Alberta, Canada
-- 
Brian_Inglis@CSi.com 	(Brian dot Inglis at SystematicSw dot ab dot ca)
				use address above to reply

######

From: ddotpowell@netnospamscapeonline.co.uk (David Powell)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 31 Dec 2000 16:57:11 GMT
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On 27 Dec 2000 22:53:09 -0500, "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
wrote:

>I used to use a CW morse code transmitter which had 700 volts across
>the key.  Whenever I got careless and touched a metal part of the key,
>it would burn off a few square inches of skin.

This thread is now back "on topic".

Regards,

David P.

>-- 

######

Message-ID: <3A4F75EB.2156665C@earthlink.net>
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David Powell wrote:

> On 27 Dec 2000 22:53:09 -0500, "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
> wrote:
>
> >I used to use a CW morse code transmitter which had 700 volts across
> >the key.  Whenever I got careless and touched a metal part of the key,
> >it would burn off a few square inches of skin.
>
> This thread is now back "on topic".

This is not that unusual.  "Olde tyme" landline Morse typically had several

hundred volts across the contacts.  The actual voltage depended on the
length of the line and the number of instruments on it. It was not uncommon

for operators to take four of the glass insulators and put them on their
chair legs although this particular practice was more for "lightening
protection".  But better to have even that several hundred volts go
between your fingers than down the trunk of your body to ground :-)
That practice is more a "smart user story" than a stupid one.

In the wireless world there are a number of common ways of
keying a radio transmitter that put high voltage on the key and
if your transmitter uses one of them you'll likely find out about
it, one way or another.......(rtfm)

Chris
AN GETTO$;DUMP;RUN,ALGOL,TAPE
$$

######

From: alan.nospam@glaramara.freeserve.co.uk (Alan J. Wylie)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 01 Jan 2001 20:11:03 +0000
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On Sun, 31 Dec 2000 18:13:09 GMT, jchausler <jchausler@earthlink.net> said:

> In the wireless world there are a number of common ways of keying a
> radio transmitter that put high voltage on the key and if your
> transmitter uses one of them you'll likely find out about it, one
> way or another.......(rtfm)
                        ^^^^
Furrfu. My acronym parser must be context sensitive - it tried
to interpret that as radio telephony frequency modulation.

-- 
Alan J. Wylie                         http://www.glaramara.freeserve.co.uk
"Perfection [in design] is achieved not when there is nothing left to add,
but rather when there is nothing left to take away."
  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

######

From: nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com (barnacle)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 01 Jan 2001 21:49:38 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72006

In article <3a484dd4.1880387@news.shuswap.net>, genew@shuswap.net wrote:
>"Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net> wrote:
>
>>In article <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com>, Jeff Jonas <jeffj@panix.com>
> wrote:
>>> in movies: cars burst into flames when falling off roads or in
>>> severe accidents ...
>>
>>In the TV show The Simpsons, anything that gets bumped or knocked over
>>will instantly burst into flames.  For instance a teacher's desk being
>>tipped on its side by unruly students.  I like how the show spoofs
>>Hollywood's tiresome tropes.
>
>     About five years ago, I found a site that had the cartoon laws of
>physics and another that debunked superhero events.  Unfortunately, I
>don't have the links, but of the second, my favourite was:
>
>     The dam has burst and there's a building right in the path of the
>water.  Superman flies, picks up the building, and . . .
>
>     DEBUNK: The corner breaks off in his hands.  After all, most
>buildings aren't engineered to be picked up by one corner.
>
>     If either of these sites are familiar to you, please E-mail me
>with the URL.  TIA.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Gene Wirchenko
>
>Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation:
>     I have preferences.
>     You have biases.
>     He/She has prejudices.

Gene - I assume from your presence on rec.arts.sf.written that you're familiar 
with Niven's 'Man of steel, woman of kleenex' ?

--
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost...
barnacle
http://www.nailed-barnacle.co.uk

######

From: LBohan@dbc.spam_less..com
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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On 27 Dec 2000 22:53:09 -0500, "Keith F. Lynch" <kfl@KeithLynch.net>
wrote:

>Most likely.  That's how I would have done it.  And that's how it
>was still done in the 1920s with the earliest commercial broadcast
>stations.  The mike was put in series with the antenna, and the full
>RF current went through it.  For all but the smallest stations, the
>microphone had to be water cooled.  (I'm sure the running water didn't
>do much for the audio quality.)  And woe to anyone who got too close
>to it, as they'd get nasty RF burns.

RF burns?  Could somone here elaborate further?  

######

From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: Rockefeller University Hospital (GCRC), New York
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On Fri, 29 Dec 2000 20:25:06 +0000, "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)"
<unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:

>Gene Wirchenko wrote:
>
>>      Huh!  Reality is poor imitation of fantasy.
>
>Reality is simply a crutch for people who can't handle science fiction.
>
>Speaking of which I finished editing about half an hour ago. There are
>still a lot of purely mechanical spelling and consistency checks to go
>through, and another editorial pass. But I think I'm there. Hooray!

Name!  Publisher!  When?

-- 
[ When replying, remove *'s from address ]
Alexandre Pechtchanski, Systems Manager, RUH, NY

######

From: "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 02 Jan 2001 23:31:06 +0000
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72103

Alexandre Pechtchanski wrote:

> Name!  Publisher!  When?

1) The working title is "Run from the Stars". I may be using the
pen-name "Robert Powers".
2) Just beginning the search for one.
3) The publishing business doesn't exactly rush.

-- 
I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal
lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N.  http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/
"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book as a woman
is with child." CS Lewis - Till we have faces, Ch 21.

######

Message-ID: <3A534ED6.40708@evilspammerhotsands.com.au>
Date: Thu, 04 Jan 2001 00:09:58 +0800
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Ron Hunsinger wrote:

> In article <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk>, "Adam Atkinson"
> <ghira@mistral.co.uk> wrote:
> 
> 
>> Well, I've seen it done in real life with flowers and rubber tubing.
>> I've also seen it done on TV with chocolate. Shattering like glass
>> would be about right.
>> 
>> I've not seen it done with flesh or bones. I guess someone here must
>> have seen this done with, say, sausages or something. What happens?
> 
> 
> Unless you really work at it, not much of anything. Liquid nitrogen may be
> cold, but it has such a low specific heat that it takes a disproportionatly
> large amount of liquid nitrogen (LN) to do much cooling to just about
> anything else, and even then it doesn't do it quickly.
> 
> You've seen them dip a rose into LN. Think back. When they did, it was a
> rose with very thin petals in a large flask of LN, right? And they held it
> in there for a while, with the LN boiling vigorously the whole time? Sure,
> the rose shatters nicely afterward, but it takes more than a couple of
> drops of LN to do it.
> 
> It takes even longer to freeze rubber tubing and hollow rubber balls, but
> I've never seen anyone try it with solid rubber. That would have taken long
> enough to take the edge off the trick.
> 
> I wouldn't like to spill LN in my eye, but I wouldn't be afraid to have it
> touch my skin (as long as it wasn't for an extended period of time). My
> biggest concern in the case of a spill in a tunnel would be that the
> evaporated nitrogen might have displaced the oxygen, and I wouldn't know
> until I keeled over.
> 
> -Ron Hunsinger

It might be worth being a little concerned about getting it on your 
skin. I've just had a couple of potential skin cancers removed with a 
cotton bud dipped in LN. It wasn't particularly painful, but the area 
which came in contact with the cotton bud blistered and peeled away 
fairly quickly.


Bob

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 04 Jan 01 09:29:40 -0800
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72205

In article <926uji$ngi$1@news.datasync.com> djim55@boingydatasync.com
(djim55) writes:

>Keith F. Lynch wrote:
>
>[]frequency current!  What a hack!  (Similarly, you can create coherent
>[]light without a laser simply by spinning a magnet about a million
>[]billion times per second.)
>
>Oh, which billions ? American or European ?

I don't know.  Aaaaaaaagggghhhhhh....
[sounds of being hurled into the Gorge of Eternal Peril]

Oh, wait.  You didn't say swallow?

Never mind.

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: "Charlie Gibbs" <cgibbs@sky.bus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 04 Jan 01 16:32:22 -0800
Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
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Message-ID: <1442.404T1101T9924562@sky.bus.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72214

In article <3A534ED6.40708@evilspammerhotsands.com.au>
bob@evilspammerhotsands.com.au (aussie_bob) writes:

>Ron Hunsinger wrote:
>
>> I wouldn't like to spill LN in my eye, but I wouldn't be afraid to
>> have it touch my skin (as long as it wasn't for an extended period
>> of time). My biggest concern in the case of a spill in a tunnel
>> would be that the evaporated nitrogen might have displaced the
>> oxygen, and I wouldn't know until I keeled over.
>
>It might be worth being a little concerned about getting it on your
>skin. I've just had a couple of potential skin cancers removed with a
>cotton bud dipped in LN. It wasn't particularly painful, but the area
>which came in contact with the cotton bud blistered and peeled away
>fairly quickly.

Speak for yourself.  I just got back from the doctor, and he
did the liquid nitrogen treatment on a plantar wart.  My foot
is still sore.

On the other hand, I can quickly dip a finger into liquid nitrogen
with no pain or ill effects.  (The doctor left that cotton swab
against my foot for a while.)  Back in my physics lab days my
favourite trick was to dip a slightly damp paper towel into a
Dewar of liquid nitrogen and pull it out after the vapour cloud
subsided.  The paper towel then resembled a large potato chip,
and you could crumble it quite nicely into a pile of tiny paper
chips.

--
cgibbs@sky.bus.com (Charlie Gibbs)
Remove the first period after the "at" sign to reply.

######

From: D.J. <djim55@cheesydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 04 Jan 2001 21:22:31 -0600
Organization: Tycho Crater Ice Cream Parlour, TychoTown
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72390


Charlie Gibbs <cgibbs@sky.bus.com> wrote:
[](djim55) writes:
[]>Oh, which billions ? American or European ?
[]
[]I don't know.  Aaaaaaaagggghhhhhh....
[][sounds of being hurled into the Gorge of Eternal Peril]
[]
[]Oh, wait.  You didn't say swallow?
[]
[]Never mind.

It was an implied spherical bird. :-)

JimP.
-- 
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 25, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: Howard S Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 05 Jan 2001 00:27:48 -0500
Organization: MindSpring Enterprises
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In article <ntea5to93dmt39rjkn24sf3r00vks8ba3k@4ax.com>, djim55@datasync.com 
wrote:

>It was an implied spherical bird. :-)

Of uniform density.
-- 
Howard S Shubs
"Run in circles, scream and shout!"  "I hope you have good backups!"

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <hnsngr-ya023180000501010456450001@news.flash.net>
References: <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <926pmc$dju$1@saltmine.radix.net> <926uji$ngi$1@news.datasync.com> <570.404T2034T5695079@sky.bus.com> <ntea5to93dmt39rjkn24sf3r00vks8ba3k@4ax.com> <hshubs-EEEA88.00274805012001@news.mindspring.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72378

In article <hshubs-EEEA88.00274805012001@news.mindspring.com>, Howard S
Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com> wrote:

> In article <ntea5to93dmt39rjkn24sf3r00vks8ba3k@4ax.com>, djim55@datasync.com 
> wrote:
> 
> >It was an implied spherical bird. :-)
> 
> Of uniform density.

And unit radius.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: dg@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 5 Jan 2001 15:31:46 +0000
Organization: I do not speak for anyone but myself, and barely that.
Message-ID: <2dp439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72381

In article <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com>,
	jeffj@panix.com (Jeff Jonas) writes:
[...]
> My pet peeve: scenes like the bridge of the Star Trek Enterprise during
> a fight.  The cap't ought to be giving commands using some shorthand notation
> direct to the others, not shouting them out.

Or the Acme Exploding Console(tm). (Q: Why do no Star Trek films ever have
the bridge crew wearing seat belts? A: Would *you* want to be strapped to
one of those consoles during a battle?)

There was an expisode of _Farscape_ where their ship gets hit, and a
bridge console explodes in time-honoured fashion. Crichton, the token
human, leaps back, arm over his face, and bellows, "Haven't you people
ever heard of FUSES?"

-- 
+- David Given ---------------McQ-+ "`Aplysia californica' is your taxonomic
|  Work: dg@tao-group.com         | nomenclature.
|  Play: dgiven@iname.com         | A slug, by any other name, is still a slug
+- http://wired.st-and.ac.uk/~dg -+ by nature." --- drushel on a.f.c           

######

From: dg@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 5 Jan 2001 15:44:01 +0000
Organization: I do not speak for anyone but myself, and barely that.
Message-ID: <14q439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1>
Mime-Version: 1.0
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72376

In article <91voos$eng$1@top.mitre.org>,
	jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) writes:
[...]
> ...or the scene near the end of the parody movie _Top Secret_ where a
> Pinto is rear-ended at what looks like a speed of about one inch/minute
> and immediately explodes upon contact...

Or _The Simpsons_, where a standing joke is that *any* vehicle going off
the road for *any* reason always blows up (including barrels, in one
case).



-- 
+- David Given ---------------McQ-+ "`Aplysia californica' is your taxonomic
|  Work: dg@tao-group.com         | nomenclature.
|  Play: dgiven@iname.com         | A slug, by any other name, is still a slug
+- http://wired.st-and.ac.uk/~dg -+ by nature." --- drushel on a.f.c           

######

From: dg@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 5 Jan 2001 15:45:49 +0000
Organization: I do not speak for anyone but myself, and barely that.
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72382

In article <92284t0ht7a59dt6nl027fh3q4s5stgged@4ax.com>,
	Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com> writes:
[...]
> That reminds me, I did hit one once.  Not Chicago, but a suburban one,
> in a 62 chevy wagon.  Didn't bother the hydrant, but put a big dimple
> in my bumper, and in those days bumpers were pretty hefty.

Modern cars are very flimsy. We have a friend of the family who once hit
and killed a hare. He later bought a bottle of good port to jug it in,
because, as he said, the meal was costing him several hundred pounds for a
new radiator anyway, so he may as well do it properly.

-- 
+- David Given ---------------McQ-+ "`Aplysia californica' is your taxonomic
|  Work: dg@tao-group.com         | nomenclature.
|  Play: dgiven@iname.com         | A slug, by any other name, is still a slug
+- http://wired.st-and.ac.uk/~dg -+ by nature." --- drushel on a.f.c           

######

From: swaim@nol.net
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
References: <u4s01x0nt.fsf@earthlink.net> <977518660.14058.0.nnrp-08.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk> <920hgl$sh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <3A44B195.261DF8E4@ev1.net> <t49mqhnm76qa1a@corp.supernews.com> <814.392T1050T10593267ghira@mistral.co.uk> <hnsngr-ya023180002712002301550001@news.flash.net> <3A534ED6.40708@evilspammerhotsands.com.au>
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aussie_bob <bob@evilspammerhotsands.com.au> wrote:
> It might be worth being a little concerned about getting it on your 
> skin. I've just had a couple of potential skin cancers removed with a 
> cotton bud dipped in LN. It wasn't particularly painful, but the area 
> which came in contact with the cotton bud blistered and peeled away 
> fairly quickly.

  I've had several warts removed this way, and it was always extremely
painful. It also had to be applied multiple times to make them finally go
away. (Incidentally, the reason that they went to freezing from burning is
that burning warts off occasionally leaves bad burns.)


-- 
Mike Swaim, Avatar of Chaos: Disclaimer:I sometimes lie.
Home: swaim at nol * net Quote: "Boingie"^4 Y,W&D

######

From: "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sat, 06 Jan 2001 09:07:36 +0000
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David Given wrote:

> Or the Acme Exploding Console(tm). (Q: Why do no Star Trek films ever have
> the bridge crew wearing seat belts? A: Would *you* want to be strapped to
> one of those consoles during a battle?)

You may find the following, which is pinned up over my desk, amusing.
Particularly rule 10.

The Rules of the Science Fictional Universe

1.	Female characters are Excused Periods for the duration of the plot.
2.	Despite the previous rule the heroine may inflict any desired degree
of PMT on the male lead.
3.	Characters caught and tied up by the bad guys are Excused Bladder
until untied.
4.	Male characters wishing to reach the end of the book with their
anatomy intact are advised to refrain from molesting the heroine.
5.	Any improvised equipment made by the good guys will work perfectly at
the first attempt.
6.	The heroine may indulge in any number of romantic candlelit dinners,
including high calorie desserts, without gaining weight.
7.	When the author has spent several days working out how to get the
heroine out of a sticky situation, he will then type, "At once she
realised that..." and present the solution. This rule still applies even
if the finding the answer has required graph paper, several hours of
computation, and an e-mail exchange with the University of California.
8.	All the really witty one-liners are spoken by the good guys.
9.	The heroine is entitled to walk up to any machine she has never seen
before, and operate it correctly at once. However, on days when the plot
is slow, twenty minutes will be permitted for a study of the instruction
manual.
10.	The four letter F word will be applied to the spaceships' electrical
systems. This word is "fuse." This will prevent minor electrical faults
turning into major explosions. However the fuse does not get a free ride
into the plot, it must work its passage by blowing at precisely
inopportune moments, leaving the characters with an inoperable spaceship
until they can find and fit a spare.
11.	Characters will be provided with seat harnesses to prevent their
being thrown across the interiors of spaceships. They will not be
provided with sufficient time to fasten and adjust their harnesses in an
emergency. In an extreme emergency they will not be given time to find
seats.
12.	The heroine is also permitted to exhibit Post-Mayhem Tension, if she
shoots someone she may then snap at all the male characters for the next
two chapters.



-- 
I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal
lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N.  http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/
"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book as a woman
is with child." CS Lewis - Till we have faces, Ch 21.

######

From: himself@esands.com (him self)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 6 Jan 2001 09:31:42 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72391

On Sat, 06 Jan 2001 09:07:36 +0000, 
    Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob) <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:

> 
> The Rules of the Science Fictional Universe
> 
> 1.	Female characters are Excused Periods for the duration of the plot.

The anorexic types favoured by film makers probably
don't have periods anyway.

> 5.	Any improvised equipment made by the good guys will work perfectly at
> the first attempt.

It makes sense if you accept that what you get
to see is the end result of an evolutionary 
process.

######

From: dpeschel@eskimo.com (Derek Peschel)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 6 Jan 2001 10:39:02 GMT
Organization: Eskimo North (206) For-Ever
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72355

In article <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com>, Jeff Jonas wrote:

>In a way, I lament the way all the current technology has no real sound.
>Daisy wheel, dot matrix, chain, drum printers were loud and annoying to be near,
>but at a distance, you could tell what they were doing and how well.
>Laser printers barely make a click while paper feeding
>and sound about the same for a blank page of a page full of print or graphics.
>Fax machines give a hint as to the page's density by the
>speed of the hum of the paper advancing.

It's more than that.  Some technological sounds go beyond distinctiveness
and reach actual beauty.  Old telephone switches make many wierd rhythmic
clicking noises and have a variety of unusual ringing tones and other
signals, and then of course there are all the bells on the telephones
themselves (and other noisemakers on other things).

When I was in San Jose, CA (4 years ago) I found an ATM, which I think is at
the east end of Stevens Creek near the mall.  It had a REALLY heavy-duty
impact printer, but the housing softened the noise, giving a unique
combination.  The thing also had a gas-plasma display.  Not only that, it
was bizarrely narrow (maybe 4 lines of 80 characters) and was mounted in a
plastic hood that looks vaguely like one of those "flip book" movie
machines, or possibly something from a submarine. :)

-- Derek

######

Sender: lynn@LYNNPC
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <slrn95dte7.noi.dpeschel@eskimo.com>
Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
From: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
Message-ID: <u4rzclgwk.fsf@earthlink.net>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72454


dpeschel@eskimo.com (Derek Peschel) writes:
> When I was in San Jose, CA (4 years ago) I found an ATM, which I think is at
> the east end of Stevens Creek near the mall.  It had a REALLY heavy-duty
> impact printer, but the housing softened the noise, giving a unique
> combination.  The thing also had a gas-plasma display.  Not only that, it
> was bizarrely narrow (maybe 4 lines of 80 characters) and was mounted in a
> plastic hood that looks vaguely like one of those "flip book" movie
> machines, or possibly something from a submarine. :)

the ibm los gatos lab did the ibm atm machine some 25-30(?) years
ago. they had to get a big vault installed in the basement that kept
all the cash that was used for testing ... from lots of different
countries. they also had a number of "stupid user stories" about all
the possible combinations of things that users would do with the first
machines ... which then had to go thru incremental fool-proofing. one
story was one of the first machine being installed across the street
from a mcdonolds and what one of those little ketchup packets can do.

the ibm san jose employee credit union had the small hooded tilt
display ATM machines into at least the early 80s (which isn't all that
bad idea ... i'verun across some atms with the video screens that are
periodically in direct sunlight and nearly impossible to read at that
time of day).

the product line was eventually sold (to diebold?).

the los gatos lab also did some of the airline res terminals which had
heat vent slits in the top.  one of the features that had to be added
was a tray under the slits that was designed to hold a qt of coke.

-- 
Anne & Lynn Wheeler   | lynn@garlic.com -  http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ 

######

From: Erno Palonheimo <esp@vipunen.hut.fi>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 06 Jan 2001 20:18:44 +0200
Organization: Helsinki University of Technology, Finland
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72457

Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:

> the ibm los gatos lab did the ibm atm machine some 25-30(?) years
> ago. they had to get a big vault installed in the basement that kept
> all the cash that was used for testing ... from lots of different
> countries. they also had a number of "stupid user stories" about all
> the possible combinations of things that users would do with the first
> machines ... which then had to go thru incremental fool-proofing. one
> story was one of the first machine being installed across the street
> from a mcdonolds and what one of those little ketchup packets can do.

I saw an IBM ATM machine in Dalian, China just a couple of weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure that the four-number device code was 4382, or at least
it started with 4 :-)

-- 
Erno Palonheimo    | Pajupillintie 15 A 6 | UNIX System Administrator
http://iki.fi/esp/ | 00420 Helsinki       | Helsinki University of Technology
esp@cc.hut.fi      | +358 50 560 4765     | http://www.hut.fi/cc/

######

From: "Roger Johnstone" <rojaws@mac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 18:27:12 +1300
Organization: ihug ( New Zealand )
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----------
In article <2dp439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1>, dg@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given)
wrote:

> Or the Acme Exploding Console(tm). (Q: Why do no Star Trek films ever have
> the bridge crew wearing seat belts? A: Would *you* want to be strapped to
> one of those consoles during a battle?)
>
> There was an expisode of _Farscape_ where their ship gets hit, and a
> bridge console explodes in time-honoured fashion. Crichton, the token
> human, leaps back, arm over his face, and bellows, "Haven't you people
> ever heard of FUSES?"

How about the heavy beams tacked to the ceiling in all the space ships?
Whenever a ship gets hit really hard they fall, crushing one of the crew
members. The silliest thing is that the beams must be purely decorative,
since if they were support beams the ship's hull would rupture long before
the beam fell down.

--
Roger Johnstone, Invercargill, New Zealand

Apple II - Future Cop:LAPD - Warcraft II
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~rojaws
______________________________________________________________________

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard
to understand.

######

From: nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com (barnacle)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 06:33:20 GMT
Organization: BT Internet
Message-ID: <9392hd$5fn$1@uranium.btinternet.com>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <2dp439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1> <3A56E058.F67A1502@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> <slrn95dpfs.vt.himself@snark.esands.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72462

In article <slrn95dpfs.vt.himself@snark.esands.com>, po.box.1@esands.com wrote:
>On Sat, 06 Jan 2001 09:07:36 +0000, 
>    Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob) <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> 
>> The Rules of the Science Fictional Universe
>> 
>> 1.    Female characters are Excused Periods for the duration of the plot.
>
>The anorexic types favoured by film makers probably
>don't have periods anyway.
>
>> 5.    Any improvised equipment made by the good guys will work perfectly at
>> the first attempt.
>
>It makes sense if you accept that what you get
>to see is the end result of an evolutionary 
>process.
>
>
But on the gripping hand it helps if you're a Motie Engineer. (Who, logically, 
would be right at home here!)

--
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost...
barnacle
http://www.nailed-barnacle.co.uk

######

From: nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com (barnacle)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 06:37:24 GMT
Organization: BT Internet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72460

In article <u4rzclgwk.fsf@earthlink.net>, Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> wrote:
>
<snip>
>the possible combinations of things that users would do with the first
>machines ... which then had to go thru incremental fool-proofing. one
>story was one of the first machine being installed across the street
>from a mcdonolds and what one of those little ketchup packets can do.
>

(holds hand up) I discovered the hard way what tomato juice and worcestershire 
sauce - lea and perrins, there is no other - can do to these tiny modern 
tracks and chip legs...I may never buy etching fluid again!

--
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost...
barnacle
http://www.nailed-barnacle.co.uk

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 7 Jan 2001 12:01:46 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <939lra$13o$1@teabag.cbhnet>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72429

In article <2dp439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1>,
	dg@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given) writes:
> Or the Acme Exploding Console(tm). (Q: Why do no Star Trek films ever have

What I want to know is, in a future where the much touted optical iso-
linear chip is king and all the comms systems run over fibre-optic
bundles, why is it necessary to pipe at lease 25,000 volts through the
operator consoles?!

Chris.

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 7 Jan 2001 12:02:51 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <939ltb$13o$2@teabag.cbhnet>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com>
    <2dp439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72431

In article <vd2NzVOTNb7v-pn2-eN3iY5C6HZqK@dialup-166.90.31.170.washington1.level3.net>,
	javnews@earthlink.net (John Varela) writes:
> Sounds like a TARDIS console.

Yes, but at least we know that one's unpredictable because the good Doctor
has spent the last couple of hundred years ineptly tinkering with its
innards.

Chris.

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 7 Jan 2001 12:13:09 GMT
Organization: teabag
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In article <u4rzclgwk.fsf@earthlink.net>,
	Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:
> story was one of the first machine being installed across the street
> from a mcdonolds and what one of those little ketchup packets can do.

I can confirm this: a friend of mine used to work on ATM design, and one
of the most important things in the durability test was the infamous
"tomato sauce sachet soak test."  You could pretty much guarantee that
the first friday night after installation, a crowd of Drunken Bastards TM
would stagger out of the chippy next door and start trying to feed things
to the ATM before being sick on it, finally wandering off to moon at the
police station.

Chris.

######

From: D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 06:55:56 -0600
Organization: Tycho Ice Cream Parlour, Marsport
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72480


Roger Johnstone <rojaws@mac.com> wrote:
[]How about the heavy beams tacked to the ceiling in all the space ships?
[]Whenever a ship gets hit really hard they fall, crushing one of the crew
[]members. The silliest thing is that the beams must be purely decorative,
[]since if they were support beams the ship's hull would rupture long before
[]the beam fell down.

Along with placing much of that room's air outside the ship.

Yeah, thats it. People in the future can breathe vacuum.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 22, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 7 Jan 2001 13:54:52 GMT
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
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References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <939mgl$13o$3@teabag.cbhnet>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72459

Chris Hedley (cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk) writes:
...
> You could pretty much guarantee that
> the first friday night after installation, a crowd of Drunken Bastards TM
> would stagger out of the chippy next door and start trying to feed things
> to the ATM before being sick on it, finally wandering off to moon at the
> police station.

  LOL!!

  Would that be a gang of soccer (aka football east of the pond) fans after
  a game?

  The game, of course, is How many skulls can we crack, and How much 
  pillaging can we do, yet continue to breathe?

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 01 14:58:33 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 21
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 <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com>
 <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com>
 <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com>
 <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <slrn95dte7.noi.dpeschel@eskimo.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72489

In article <939mgl$13o$3@teabag.cbhnet>,
   cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley) wrote:
>In article <u4rzclgwk.fsf@earthlink.net>,
>	Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:
>> story was one of the first machine being installed across the street
>> from a mcdonolds and what one of those little ketchup packets can do.
>
>I can confirm this: a friend of mine used to work on ATM design, and one
>of the most important things in the durability test was the infamous
>"tomato sauce sachet soak test."  You could pretty much guarantee that
>the first friday night after installation, a crowd of Drunken Bastards TM
>would stagger out of the chippy next door and start trying to feed things
>to the ATM before being sick on it, finally wandering off to moon at the
>police station.

I am amazed.  I would have never thought of doing a catsup test.
Do people do similar things with mail boxes?

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

From: Ariel Scolnicov <ariels@compugen.co.il>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 06 Jan 2001 22:06:13 +0200
Organization: Compugen, Ltd.
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himself@esands.com (him self) writes:

> On Sat, 06 Jan 2001 09:07:36 +0000, 
>     Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob) <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:

[...]

> > 5.	Any improvised equipment made by the good guys will work perfectly at
> > the first attempt.
> 
> It makes sense if you accept that what you get
> to see is the end result of an evolutionary 
> process.

Larry Niven has a heroine who is genetically lucky.  The result of
several generations of winning a breeding license lottery on an
overcrowded Earth.

Glad to see SF writers are finally beginning to understand the
mechanisms of realistic SF.

-- 
Ariel Scolnicov

######

From: Howard S Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 10:02:15 -0500
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72505

In article <9392p2$5fn$2@uranium.btinternet.com>, 
nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com (barnacle) wrote:

>(holds hand up) I discovered the hard way what tomato juice and 
>worcestershire 
>sauce - lea and perrins, there is no other - can do to these tiny modern 
>tracks and chip legs...I may never buy etching fluid again!

One thing you should -never- do is use Worcestershire sauce as embalming fluid.
-- 
Howard S Shubs
"Run in circles, scream and shout!"  "I hope you have good backups!"

######

Sender: lynn@LYNNPC
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <slrn95dte7.noi.dpeschel@eskimo.com> <u4rzclgwk.fsf@earthlink.net> <939mgl$13o$3@teabag.cbhnet> <93a4ae$2h3$2@bob.news.rcn.net>
Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
From: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
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jmfbahciv@aol.com writes:

> I am amazed.  I would have never thought of doing a catsup test.
> Do people do similar things with mail boxes?

mail boxes, when a small plastic packet of katsup (or mustard or
whatever) is inserted, doesn't try to automatically pull it in and
flatten it out until it goes pop ... sometimes the point that the
packet goes pop is still outside the machine and sometimes it
isn't. ATMs with standard envelope feeds (more like a mailbox) have
fewer intruder measures ...  but a number of things are done to the
card insert part (since there are a number of mechanical and
electronic parts that would be rendered inoperable).

-- 
Anne & Lynn Wheeler   | lynn@garlic.com -  http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ 

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 7 Jan 2001 16:54:20 GMT
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Reply-To: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
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Anne & Lynn Wheeler (lynn@garlic.com) writes:
> jmfbahciv@aol.com writes:
> 
>> I am amazed.  I would have never thought of doing a catsup test.
>> Do people do similar things with mail boxes?

  It was about 30 years ago that the FLQ (Front de Liberation du Quebec
  sp?) tested mailboxes with bombs in Montreal, and demonstrated that
  they were deficient in containing the blast.
> 
> mail boxes, when a small plastic packet of katsup (or mustard or
> whatever) is inserted, doesn't try to automatically pull it in and
> flatten it out until it goes pop ... sometimes the point that the
> packet goes pop is still outside the machine and sometimes it
> isn't. ATMs with standard envelope feeds (more like a mailbox) have
> fewer intruder measures ...  but a number of things are done to the
> card insert part (since there are a number of mechanical and
> electronic parts that would be rendered inoperable).

  Actually, the prime source of protection is the video camera.  A few
  years ago, some loser stuffed a lit cigarette into an ATM, and the
  resulting fire destroyed much of the money and the machine.  The
  video convicted him.  I guess they need firewalls too. 

######

Sender: lynn@LYNNPC
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <slrn95dte7.noi.dpeschel@eskimo.com> <u4rzclgwk.fsf@earthlink.net> <939mgl$13o$3@teabag.cbhnet> <93a4ae$2h3$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <uvgrriawm.fsf@earthlink.net> <93a6vs$sn2$1@freenet9.carleton.ca>
Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
From: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
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ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) writes:
>   Actually, the prime source of protection is the video camera.  A few
>   years ago, some loser stuffed a lit cigarette into an ATM, and the
>   resulting fire destroyed much of the money and the machine.  The
>   video convicted him.  I guess they need firewalls too. 

the original work predated having video cameras everywhere. having to
add simple check to see if the machine was actually deailing with a
card eliminated some amount of maintenance ... with or w/o cameras

having video cameras are an inhibitor for large number of attacks, i
believe justified as much for attacks on people using the machines as
attacks on the machines themselves.

-- 
Anne & Lynn Wheeler   | lynn@garlic.com -  http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ 

######

Sender: lynn@LYNNPC
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <slrn95dte7.noi.dpeschel@eskimo.com> <u4rzclgwk.fsf@earthlink.net> <939mgl$13o$3@teabag.cbhnet> <93a4ae$2h3$2@bob.news.rcn.net> <uvgrriawm.fsf@earthlink.net> <93a6vs$sn2$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <uofxji9dj.fsf@earthlink.net>
Reply-To: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
From: Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com>
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Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:
> having video cameras are an inhibitor for large number of attacks, i
> believe justified as much for attacks on people using the machines as
> attacks on the machines themselves.

aka ... litigation liability and child-proofing the environment. at
what distance from an ATM machine does an attack on a person have to
occur before the owner of the ATM machine is not liable.

-- 
Anne & Lynn Wheeler   | lynn@garlic.com -  http://www.garlic.com/~lynn/ 

######

From: Dan Bernstein <dan.bernstein@usa.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 22:17:53 +0200
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If it's the model I'm thinking of, then it's an IBM machine, and it has a
very nice BEEP (actually, it's lower - maybe BOP) as a feedback for when you
push a button (I don't think it has keys) which lasts for as long as you
push. It has a sliding plexiglass (sp?) window that only opens and allows
access to the keys after you insert a valid card. Over the past 5 years I've
seen several of those being replaced by newer NCR machines with CRTs.

in article slrn95dte7.noi.dpeschel@eskimo.com, Derek Peschel at
dpeschel@eskimo.com wrote on 6/1/01 12:39 PM:

> When I was in San Jose, CA (4 years ago) I found an ATM, which I think is at
> the east end of Stevens Creek near the mall.  It had a REALLY heavy-duty
> impact printer, but the housing softened the noise, giving a unique
> combination.  The thing also had a gas-plasma display.  Not only that, it
> was bizarrely narrow (maybe 4 lines of 80 characters) and was mounted in a
> plastic hood that looks vaguely like one of those "flip book" movie
> machines, or possibly something from a submarine. :)
> 
> -- Derek

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 20:03:55 -0600
Organization: Arargh!!
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72649

On 06 Jan 2001 22:06:13 +0200, Ariel Scolnicov <ariels@compugen.co.il>
wrote:

>Larry Niven has a heroine who is genetically lucky.  The result of
>several generations of winning a breeding license lottery on an
>overcrowded Earth.
I would not want to get anywhere near Teela!

>
>Glad to see SF writers are finally beginning to understand the
>mechanisms of realistic SF.

 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: bernie@innovative.iinet.net.au (Bernd Felsche)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 8 Jan 2001 10:28:23 +0800
Organization: Innovative Reckoning
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Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:

>Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> writes:
>> having video cameras are an inhibitor for large number of attacks, i
>> believe justified as much for attacks on people using the machines as
>> attacks on the machines themselves.

>aka ... litigation liability and child-proofing the environment. at
>what distance from an ATM machine does an attack on a person have to
>occur before the owner of the ATM machine is not liable.

I don't know. Do you own an ATM and feel like attacking a user? :-)

My guess is that the owner is never held liable. The video camera
serves two purposes; to protect the machine and to provide potential
users with a delusion of greater security. Hmmm... maybe delusion
isn't quite the right word.
-- 
 /"\  Bernd Felsche - Innovative Reckoning, Perth, Western Australia
 \ /      ASCII ribbon campaign | I'm a .signature virus!       |
  X       against HTML mail     | Copy me into your ~/.signature|
 / \      and postings          | to help me spread!            |

######

From: bmarcum@iglou.com (Bill Marcum)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2001 05:02:34 GMT
Organization: Pope-Wino-Hybrid Party
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72581

Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> wrote:

>aka ... litigation liability and child-proofing the environment. at
>what distance from an ATM machine does an attack on a person have to
>occur before the owner of the ATM machine is not liable.
>
IANAL, but I would expect that the liability ends at the property
line.

######

From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Message-ID: <hnsngr-ya023180000801010411160001@news.flash.net>
References: <slrn9353on.104.The.Central.Scrutinizer.wakawaka@C298344-A.arvada1.co.home.com> <allt3tcloqm90g14vk0103vahjigo5l6oj@4ax.com> <91sgdc$2sa$1@panix6.panix.com> <n9l34tsve7afiocj6mchk1ribo2mdgovav@4ax.com> <91utnr$asj$1@panix2.panix.com> <2dp439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1> <939lra$13o$1@teabag.cbhnet>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72639

In article <939lra$13o$1@teabag.cbhnet>, cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk
(Chris Hedley) wrote:

> What I want to know is, in a future where the much touted optical iso-
> linear chip is king and all the comms systems run over fibre-optic
> bundles, why is it necessary to pipe at lease 25,000 volts through the
> operator consoles?!

I've heard of cases where very strong magnetic fields are used to bring
some material to extremely low temperatures. Maybe the 25,000 volts drives
the magnets cooling the superconductors.

-Ron Hunsinger

######

From: nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com (barnacle)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2001 19:11:39 GMT
Organization: BT Internet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72634

In article <yzq8zoo30p6.fsf@compugen.co.il>, Ariel Scolnicov <ariels@compugen.co.il> wrote:
>himself@esands.com (him self) writes:
>
>> On Sat, 06 Jan 2001 09:07:36 +0000, 
>>     Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob) <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>[...]
>
>> > 5.  Any improvised equipment made by the good guys will work perfectly at
>> > the first attempt.
>> 
>> It makes sense if you accept that what you get
>> to see is the end result of an evolutionary 
>> process.
>
>Larry Niven has a heroine who is genetically lucky.  The result of
>several generations of winning a breeding license lottery on an
>overcrowded Earth.
>

But...spoiler space...






































She still ends up dead.


--
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost...
barnacle
http://www.nailed-barnacle.co.uk

######

From: nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com (barnacle)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2001 19:14:58 GMT
Organization: BT Internet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72636

In article <3a5948ec.59290329@news.iglou.com>, bmarcum@iglou.com (Bill Marcum) wrote:
>Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> wrote:
>
>>aka ... litigation liability and child-proofing the environment. at
>>what distance from an ATM machine does an attack on a person have to
>>occur before the owner of the ATM machine is not liable.
>>
>IANAL, but I would expect that the liability ends at the property
>line.
>

Hang on a minute. You're suggesting that if I build an ATM and someone is 
mugged while using it / in the vicinity of it, then *I* am responsible? Surely 
only one person is responsible there - the mugger.

--
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost...
barnacle
http://www.nailed-barnacle.co.uk

######

From: Ian Stirling <Inquisitor@I.am>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2001 20:15:07 GMT
Message-ID: <978984907.5620.0.nnrp-12.9e98d142@news.demon.co.uk>
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him self <himself@esands.com> wrote:
>On Sat, 06 Jan 2001 09:07:36 +0000, 
>    Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob) <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:

>> 
>> The Rules of the Science Fictional Universe
>> 
>> 1.    Female characters are Excused Periods for the duration of the plot.

>The anorexic types favoured by film makers probably
>don't have periods anyway.

Interestingly, this seems to be untrue in fantasy.

Especially multi-generationa epics, set in primitive cultures.

-- 
http://inquisitor.i.am/    |  mailto:inquisitor@i.am |             Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
Q: What do you call a train that doesn't stop at stations?
A: Thomas the Bastard.                                                -- Ben

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 8 Jan 2001 20:55:00 GMT
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72591

barnacle (nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com) writes:
> 
> Hang on a minute. You're suggesting that if I build an ATM and someone is 
> mugged while using it / in the vicinity of it, then *I* am responsible? Surely 
> only one person is responsible there - the mugger.

  Perhaps you're not too familiar with the shar, er, lawyers on the left
  side of the pond.  They got OJ off - anything's possible.

######

From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: Rockefeller University Hospital (GCRC), New York
Message-ID: <t0dk5tsu2k7j6tc49cfl48o4qhr6gijql3@4ax.com>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72658

On Mon, 08 Jan 2001 19:14:58 GMT, nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com (barnacle)
wrote:

>In article <3a5948ec.59290329@news.iglou.com>, bmarcum@iglou.com (Bill Marcum) wrote:
>>Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> wrote:
>>
>>>aka ... litigation liability and child-proofing the environment. at
>>>what distance from an ATM machine does an attack on a person have to
>>>occur before the owner of the ATM machine is not liable.
>>>
>>IANAL, but I would expect that the liability ends at the property
>>line.
>>
>
>Hang on a minute. You're suggesting that if I build an ATM and someone is 
>mugged while using it / in the vicinity of it, then *I* am responsible? 

That's why they call USA "the litigious society".

>Surely only one person is responsible there - the mugger.

Next thing you'll start declaring that it is mugger's fault that he became a
mugger, not oppressive society or childhood trauma.  Our legislature, elected on
the platform of personal responsibility and family values, can't seem to make a
logic leap to that concept ;-)

-- 
[ When replying, remove *'s from address ]
Alexandre Pechtchanski, Systems Manager, RUH, NY

######

Message-ID: <3A5A3674.236AC78C@ev1.net>
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2001 13:51:48 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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barnacle wrote:
> 
> In article <3a5948ec.59290329@news.iglou.com>, bmarcum@iglou.com (Bill Marcum) wrote:
> >Anne & Lynn Wheeler <lynn@garlic.com> wrote:
> >
> >>aka ... litigation liability and child-proofing the environment. at
> >>what distance from an ATM machine does an attack on a person have to
> >>occur before the owner of the ATM machine is not liable.
> >>
> >IANAL, but I would expect that the liability ends at the property
> >line.
> >
> 
> Hang on a minute. You're suggesting that if I build an ATM and someone is
> mugged while using it / in the vicinity of it, then *I* am responsible? Surely
> only one person is responsible there - the mugger.
> 
I believe that *your* responsibility would lie in creating an attractive
environment for the mugger...in California it is called an "attractive
nuisance". Your responsibility would be to take safety measures for the
people using your ATM to protect them from attack. (At least that is the
way the law sees it...)

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: bhk@dsl.co.uk (Brian {Hamilton Kelly})
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2001 23:06:06 GMT
Organization: Dragonhill Systems Ltd
Message-ID: <978995166snz@dsl.co.uk>
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In article <93d3h8$ru8$2@neptunium.btinternet.com>
           nailed_barnacleSPAMFREE@hotmail.com "barnacle" writes:

> Hang on a minute. You're suggesting that if I build an ATM and someone is 
> mugged while using it / in the vicinity of it, then *I* am responsible? Surely 
  ^^^^^^
> only one person is responsible there - the mugger.

YKYBHTLW...
        you read that word as "munged".
        
-- 
Brian {Hamilton Kelly}                                          bhk@dsl.co.uk
    "We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of
    distributed ignorance.  And we know and understand less while being incr-
    easingly capable."                          Prof. Peter Cochrane, BT Labs

######

From: "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2001 00:28:04 +0000
Message-ID: <3A5A5B14.AF3BDBD7@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>
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Charles Richmond wrote:

> I believe that *your* responsibility would lie in creating an attractive
> environment for the mugger...in California it is called an "attractive
> nuisance". Your responsibility would be to take safety measures for the

If I wrote something like that in an SF story I don't see that I'd ever
get it past an editor. Truth is much weirder than fiction.

-- 
I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal
lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N.  http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/
"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book as a woman
is with child." CS Lewis - Till we have faces, Ch 21.

######

From: D.J. <djim55@cheesydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2001 23:39:52 -0600
Organization: Tycho Crater Ice Cream Parlour, TychoTown
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bernie@innovative.iinet.net.au (Bernd Felsche) wrote:
[]My guess is that the owner is never held liable. The video camera
[]serves two purposes; to protect the machine and to provide potential
[]users with a delusion of greater security. Hmmm... maybe delusion
[]isn't quite the right word.

Maybe ATMs in my area have 911 call buttons. You talk directly to
the 911 operator.

JimP.
-- 
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 25, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: D.J. <djim55@cheesydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2001 00:16:38 -0600
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D.J. <djim55@cheesydatasync.com> wrote:
[]Maybe ATMs in my area have 911 call buttons. You talk directly to
[]the 911 operator.

Gee... this 'flu is making me typo... :-)

I meant 'Many ATMS' not 'Maybe ATMs'.

JimP.
-- 
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
My Web pages Updated: December 25, 2000:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: himself@esands.com (him self)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 9 Jan 2001 08:31:23 GMT
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On Mon, 08 Jan 2001 16:45:08 -0500, 
    Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu> wrote:

> 
> Next thing you'll start declaring that it is mugger's fault that he became a
> mugger, not oppressive society or childhood trauma.  Our legislature, elected on
> the platform of personal responsibility and family values, can't seem to make a
> logic leap to that concept ;-)
> 

If the law believes fruitcakes are not responsible
for their actions, then surley it shouldn't allow
them to carry guns.

######

From: jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 9 Jan 2001 13:06:14 GMT
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On Tue, 09 Jan 2001 00:28:04 +0000, Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)
<unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>If I wrote something like that in an SF story I don't see that I'd ever
>get it past an editor. Truth is much weirder than fiction.

Tom Clancy recently posted in alt.books.tom-clancy that he'd never get away
with writing something like the Florida election fiasco...and has said, in
the past, that people who consider his plots implausible should think about
how a B-movie actor became President and won the Cold War.

######

From: Jim Esler <James.E.Esler@cdc.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2001 09:36:06 -0600
Organization: Syntegra (USA) Inc.
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"Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" wrote:
> 
> Charles Richmond wrote:
> 
> > I believe that *your* responsibility would lie in creating an attractive
> > environment for the mugger...in California it is called an "attractive
> > nuisance". Your responsibility would be to take safety measures for the
> 
> If I wrote something like that in an SF story I don't see that I'd ever
> get it past an editor. Truth is much weirder than fiction.

... because fiction has to make sense.  (I forget who said that)
-- 
Jim Esler
P.S. Standard Disclaimer: I work for them, but I don't speak for them.

######

From: cmadams@HiWAAY.net (Chris Adams)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2001 17:23:55 -0000
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72616

Once upon a time, D.J.  <djim55@datasync.com> said:
>Maybe ATMs in my area have 911 call buttons. You talk directly to
>the 911 operator.

The 911 buttons were removed from ATMs around here.  People were hitting
the 911 button when there wasn't a problem (kids doing it for "fun",
other accidentally bumping it or something), and the police starting
billing the ATM owners for false 911 calls.
-- 
Chris Adams <cmadams@hiwaay.net>
Systems and Network Administrator - HiWAAY Internet Services
I don't speak for anybody but myself - that's enough trouble.

######

From: "Andy Stoffel" <acs@fcgnetworks.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
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"him self" <himself@esands.com> wrote 

> If the law believes fruitcakes are not responsible
> for their actions, then surley it shouldn't allow
> them to carry guns.

I would have thought a fruitcake by itself was a
deadly enough projectile without having to arm it. 
 
Of course, I don't recall ever running into a sentient
fruitcake. Most fruitcakes I've run into have slightly
less intelligence than a pocketwatch and have less 
storage capacity than a pane of glass.

-Andy-

######

From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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On 9 Jan 2001 13:06:14 GMT, jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx (Jay Maynard) wrote:

>On Tue, 09 Jan 2001 00:28:04 +0000, Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)
><unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>If I wrote something like that in an SF story I don't see that I'd ever
>>get it past an editor. Truth is much weirder than fiction.
>
>Tom Clancy recently posted in alt.books.tom-clancy that he'd never get away
>with writing something like the Florida election fiasco...and has said, in
>the past, that people who consider his plots implausible should think about
>how a B-movie actor became President and won the Cold War.

And I've just heard on NPR Jimmy Carter saying that if he was invited as an
observer to a foreign country to supervise Florida-type election, he would
refuse to participate as it is evidently flawed process.

-- 
[ When replying, remove *'s from address ]
Alexandre Pechtchanski, Systems Manager, RUH, NY

######

From: "jantheman" <jts@cryogenic.freesegutsrve.co.ugutsk>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 9 Jan 2001 08:59:53 -0000
Organization: Customer of Energis Squared
Lines: 43
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72744

You could display text on most of the Beeb's graphics modes without
clearing the
background of each character cell as it drew them - that's all, no big
deal.

<jmfbahciv@aol.com> wrote in message
news:924lvr$nv7$4@bob.news.rcn.net...
> In article <922kqe$bh7$1@top.mitre.org>,
>    jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) wrote:
> >benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford) writes:
> >
> >>On 22 Dec 2000 14:15:27 GMT, Joe Morris
<jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG>
> wrote:
> >
> >>>For the newer readers here:  the computer system would issue its
> >>>login challenge as you might expect:
> >>>
> >>>    ENTER LOGIN:  <user enters userid here>
> >>>    ENTER PASSWORD:
> >>>    HHHHHHHH <CR without LF>
> >>>    OOOOOOOO <CR without LF>
> >>>    XXXXXXXX <CR without LF>
> >>>    <user enters password here>
> >
> >>I think you could make a BBC Micro do that in most of its video
modes.
> >
> >I'll assume you're correct (I don't know the unit) but that's
possible
> >only if the system was designed to use it.  Systems designed for use
> >with hardcopy terminals only were the problem here.
>
> Or no echo supression available.
>
> /BAH
>
> Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.
--
rip out all 'guts' to reply

######

From: dochawk@psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 9 Jan 2001 21:34:17 GMT
Organization: Penn State University, Center for Academic Computing
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72724

In article <3A5A5B14.AF3BDBD7@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob) <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>Charles Richmond wrote:

>> I believe that *your* responsibility would lie in creating an attractive
>> environment for the mugger...in California it is called an "attractive
>> nuisance". Your responsibility would be to take safety measures for the

>If I wrote something like that in an SF story I don't see that I'd ever
>get it past an editor. Truth is much weirder than fiction.

aw, c'mon, bob.  Stuff like that was an ongoing theme in late
Heinlein novels, and usually in California :)

And Pournelle portrayed a society not all that far from that in the
future histories he wrote in the 70's . . . but then, that was the
period when a San Francisco burgular was awarded damages for the
unsafe skylight he fell through, too . . . I want to point to
_Exiles to Glory_, particularly a story in which someone is on trial
and exiled, but I forget.

hawk

######

From: D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2001 17:10:36 -0600
Organization: Tycho Ice Cream Parlour, Marsport
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72712


cmadams@HiWAAY.net (Chris Adams) wrote:
[]The 911 buttons were removed from ATMs around here.  People were hitting
[]the 911 button when there wasn't a problem (kids doing it for "fun",
[]other accidentally bumping it or something), and the police starting
[]billing the ATM owners for false 911 calls.

Where I live, the person hitting the alarm button gets billed/fined
for turning in a false alarm, if its a false alarm. 

The button has a metal 'collar' the same height as the button. Makes
it a little harder for an accidental pushing. The keypad is about
5-6 inches away from the 911 button.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
Web server upgrades in progress, pages off line.
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 10 Jan 2001 18:05:46 GMT
Organization: IDT Internet Services
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72767

Jay Maynard <jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx> wrote:
: On Tue, 09 Jan 2001 00:28:04 +0000, Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)
: <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
: >If I wrote something like that in an SF story I don't see that I'd ever
: >get it past an editor. Truth is much weirder than fiction.

: Tom Clancy recently posted in alt.books.tom-clancy that he'd never get away
: with writing something like the Florida election fiasco...and has said, in
: the past, that people who consider his plots implausible should think about
: how a B-movie actor became President and won the Cold War.

No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?

Eric

######

From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: Rockefeller University Hospital (GCRC), New York
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72777

On 10 Jan 2001 18:05:46 GMT, Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET> wrote:

>...And what again did we "win" WRT the
>Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?

Well, you got Gorbatchev ;-)

-- 
[ When replying, remove *'s from address ]
Alexandre Pechtchanski, Systems Manager, RUH, NY

######

From: jmfbahciv@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 11 Jan 01 14:14:16 GMT
Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc.
Lines: 29
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72833

In article <3A56E058.F67A1502@tnglwood.demon.co.uk>,
   "Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)" <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>David Given wrote:
>
>> Or the Acme Exploding Console(tm). (Q: Why do no 
>>Star Trek films ever have
>> the bridge crew wearing seat belts? A: Would *you* 
>> want to be strapped to
>> one of those consoles during a battle?)
>
>You may find the following, which is pinned up over my desk, amusing.
>Particularly rule 10.
>
>The Rules of the Science Fictional Universe
>
>1.	Female characters are Excused Periods for the duration of the plot.

Periods of lucidity?

>2.	Despite the previous rule the heroine may inflict 
>any desired degree of PMT on the male lead.

I can't begin to tell you what I thought PMT stood for. <grin>

<snip...it only went downhill from here ;-)>

/BAH

Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail.

######

Message-ID: <3A5B9276.4C06@indyx.net>
From: freddy1X <freddy1X@indyx.net>
Reply-To: freddy1X
Organization: IndyNet
X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.04C-IndyNet  (Win16; I)
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72876

>Derek Peschel wrote:

> It's more than that.  Some technological sounds go beyond distinctiveness
> and reach actual beauty.

You should find someone with an Epson Stylus printer sometime.  This
series seems to carry this notion to an extreme when they are first
powered up and initializing.  For a number of minutes you will hear
something like "Buzzz buzzz.  Click-chunk. Whurr (pause) Whurr (pause)
Whurrrrrr..  Buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz  ... " and so on.  If the actor
Jim Carry were a printer, he would be an Epson Stylus.

-
-- 
no user servicable parts inside
/\>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\/
/\  I may be demented                          \/
/\                      but I'm not crazy!     \/
/\<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<\/
*    SPAyM trap:  there is no X in my address   *
|| attatch FLAME here ||
\/                    \/
X

######

From: dochawk@psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 10 Jan 2001 21:52:48 GMT
Organization: Penn State University, Center for Academic Computing
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Message-ID: <93iljg$tsc@r02n01.cac.psu.edu>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72823

In article <93i89q$gjj@nnrp1.farm.idt.net>,
Eric Chomko  <chomko@IDT.NET> wrote:

>No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
>implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
>Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?

Same as in WWII:  the opportunity to spend massively to
reconstruct the losing side :)

hawk

######

Message-ID: <3A5CF548.351AE811@ev1.net>
Date: Wed, 10 Jan 2001 15:50:33 -0800
From: Charles Richmond <richmond@ev1.net>
Reply-To: richmond@ev1.net
Organization: Cannine Computer Center
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72873

Eric Chomko wrote:
> 
> Jay Maynard <jmaynard@thebrain.conmicro.cx> wrote:
> : On Tue, 09 Jan 2001 00:28:04 +0000, Bob Billing (AKA Uncle Bob)
> : <unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> : >If I wrote something like that in an SF story I don't see that I'd ever
> : >get it past an editor. Truth is much weirder than fiction.
> 
> : Tom Clancy recently posted in alt.books.tom-clancy that he'd never get away
> : with writing something like the Florida election fiasco...and has said, in
> : the past, that people who consider his plots implausible should think about
> : how a B-movie actor became President and won the Cold War.
> 
> No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
> implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
> Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?
> 
The same spoils that the "winners" got after World War II:  we get to *pay*
to clean everything up. First the winners helped West Germany and Japan to
rebuild...and now after the Cold War, we get to help the rest of Germany and
also Russia to rebuild... I am *not* sure if we can afford to "win" again!!!

-- 
+-------------------------------------------------------------+
|     Charles and Francis Richmond     <richmond@plano.net>   |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

######

From: Marco S Hyman <marc@snafu.org>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 10 Jan 2001 16:29:42 -0800
Organization: S.N.A.F.U. -- http://www.snafu.org/
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72843

dochawk@psu.edu writes:

> >Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?
> 
> Same as in WWII:  the opportunity to spend massively to
> reconstruct the losing side :)

The WW II win gave us the '50s and the cold war win gave us the '90s.

// marc

######

From: D.J. <djim55@cheesydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 11 Jan 2001 01:17:26 -0800
Organization: Tycho Crater Ice Cream Parlour
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72820


In article <3A5CF548.351AE811@ev1.net>, Charles says...
>Eric Chomko wrote:
>> No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
>> implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
>> Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?
>> 
>The same spoils that the "winners" got after World War II:  we get to *pay*
>to clean everything up. First the winners helped West Germany and Japan to
>rebuild...and now after the Cold War, we get to help the rest of Germany and
>also Russia to rebuild... I am *not* sure if we can afford to "win" again!!!

  Shrug. I think all of glowing in the dark would be worse.

JimP.

--
djim55 atty datasync dotty com Disclaimer: Standard
http://www.datasync.com/~djim55/
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/ offline for upgrades

######

From: Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 11 Jan 2001 16:49:33 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72819

Joshua Hesse <00093182@bigred.unl.edu> wrote:
: Eric Chomko <chomko@idt.net> wrote:

:  :No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
:  :implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
:  :Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?

: Ideological bragging rights.

We always had that even during the Cold War. Well, maybe not between
Sputnik and Apollo, but certainly afterward. JFK's commitment to go to the
moon was much more powerful than the scripted, "Mr. Gorbychev, tear down
that wall!"

I ain't a big fan of Socialism but Capitalism is hell on the environment.

Eric

######

From: Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 11 Jan 2001 16:57:37 GMT
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dochawk@psu.edu wrote:
: In article <93i89q$gjj@nnrp1.farm.idt.net>,
: Eric Chomko  <chomko@IDT.NET> wrote:

: >No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
: >implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
: >Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?

: Same as in WWII:  the opportunity to spend massively to
: reconstruct the losing side :)

I don't know as far as I can tell there is not a Marshall Plan equivalent
in store for the former USSR. It looks like gangland over there. The next
30 years are key, as they have loads of world resources that are yet
untapped.

Eric

: hawk

######

Message-ID: <3A5DEA64.B50B1401@earthlink.net>
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Charles Richmond wrote:

> The same spoils that the "winners" got after World War II:  we get to *pay*
> to clean everything up. First the winners helped West Germany and Japan to
> rebuild...and now after the Cold War, we get to help the rest of Germany and
> also Russia to rebuild... I am *not* sure if we can afford to "win" again!!!

Don't forget the old joke, small third world country is having financial
problems so it declares war on "first world" country with the expectation
of losing the war (by immediately surrendering) and receiving a massive
"reconstruction" aid package.

Chris
AN GETTO$;DUMP;RUN,ALGOL,TAPE
$$

######

From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 11 Jan 2001 17:34:45 GMT
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72848

jchausler (jchausler@earthlink.net) writes:
> 
> Don't forget the old joke, small third world country is having financial
> problems so it declares war on "first world" country with the expectation
> of losing the war (by immediately surrendering) and receiving a massive
> "reconstruction" aid package.

  The Mouse That Roared ? Circa 60, with Peter Sellars (sp?)

######

From: Juergen Nickelsen <jnickelsen@acm.org>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 11 Jan 2001 18:36:20 +0100
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72883

dpeschel@eskimo.com (Derek Peschel) writes:

> Some technological sounds go beyond distinctiveness and reach
> actual beauty. Old telephone switches make many wierd rhythmic
> clicking noises and have a variety of unusual ringing tones and
> other signals, and then of course there are all the bells on the
> telephones themselves (and other noisemakers on other things).

Definitely, yes, although I have only a private switch ever seen
open, one for 6 or so telephones, containing perhaps something in
the order of a hundred relays. It also made the most amazing noises
when the telephones were operated.

And telephones themselves: the german W48 model (from 1948) is just
great. It is made of black (or white) bakelite and emits nothing but
trustworthy sounds, beginning from the clack of the hook mechanism
over that reassuring whirr of the dial ending at the *commanding*
tone of the bell.

I also found Linotypes extremely fascinating, by their sound as well
as by their look when in action. The whirrs and the
clickety-clackety were the perfect background music for a sight
where it seemed that *everywhere* over all the machine something was
in motion. Espcially the flow of letters from all diferent places to
the line being assembled put me in awe.

-- 
Juergen Nickelsen

######

From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Organization: Rockefeller University Hospital (GCRC), New York
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72882

On 11 Jan 2001 16:49:33 GMT, Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET> wrote:

>Joshua Hesse <00093182@bigred.unl.edu> wrote:
>: Eric Chomko <chomko@idt.net> wrote:
>
>:  :No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
>:  :implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
>:  :Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?
>
>: Ideological bragging rights.
>
>We always had that even during the Cold War. Well, maybe not between
>Sputnik and Apollo, but certainly afterward. JFK's commitment to go to the
>moon was much more powerful than the scripted, "Mr. Gorbychev, tear down
>that wall!"
>
>I ain't a big fan of Socialism but Capitalism is hell on the environment.
>
>Eric

Just be happy you don't know what is _real_ hell on environment.  Ever heard of
mother's milk being poisonous to children?  A _sea_ disappearing (drying out)?

Capitalism is positively benign to environment comparing to Soviet Socialism.

-- 
[ When replying, remove *'s from address ]
Alexandre Pechtchanski, Systems Manager, RUH, NY

######

From: Arargh! <Arargh@Enteract.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Thu, 11 Jan 2001 21:33:57 -0600
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72975

On Thu, 11 Jan 2001 17:22:01 GMT, jchausler <jchausler@earthlink.net>
wrote:

>Charles Richmond wrote:
>
>> The same spoils that the "winners" got after World War II:  we get to *pay*
>> to clean everything up. First the winners helped West Germany and Japan to
>> rebuild...and now after the Cold War, we get to help the rest of Germany and
>> also Russia to rebuild... I am *not* sure if we can afford to "win" again!!!
>
>Don't forget the old joke, small third world country is having financial
>problems so it declares war on "first world" country with the expectation
>of losing the war (by immediately surrendering) and receiving a massive
>"reconstruction" aid package.

_The Mouse that Roared_ ?

 --
Arargh (at enteract dot com)    http://www.arargh.com

######

From: D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2001 08:46:25 -0600
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72972


ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) wrote:
[]jchausler (jchausler@earthlink.net) writes:
[]> 
[]> Don't forget the old joke, small third world country is having financial
[]> problems so it declares war on "first world" country with the expectation
[]> of losing the war (by immediately surrendering) and receiving a massive
[]> "reconstruction" aid package.
[]
[]  The Mouse That Roared ? Circa 60, with Peter Sellars (sp?)

One of at least two, possibly three books. One of the books was made
into that movie. That country didn't qualify as a third world...
They sent a sergeant, a Lt, and about 15 bowmen to 'capture' New
York City. They had to rent a small boat to get across the Atlantic
Ocean, they didn't have a Navy.

JimP.
--
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
Web server upgrades in progress, pages off line.
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:72916



Juergen Nickelsen wrote:

> dpeschel@eskimo.com (Derek Peschel) writes:
>
> > Some technological sounds go beyond distinctiveness and reach
> > actual beauty. Old telephone switches make many wierd rhythmic
> > clicking noises and have a variety of unusual ringing tones and
> > other signals, and then of course there are all the bells on the
> > telephones themselves (and other noisemakers on other things).
>
> Definitely, yes, although I have only a private switch ever seen
> open, one for 6 or so telephones, containing perhaps something in
> the order of a hundred relays. It also made the most amazing noises
> when the telephones were operated.

Almost any electromechanical device operating at any speed will make
interesting sounds.  Railroad interlocking plants, particularly those
with
relay based telemetry systems ("code" systems in railroad parlance)
make interesting sounds.  Alas, as one who replaces such and
related systems with computers, this is all disappearing into "fan
noise".
The same is rapidly happening (if it already hasn't) with most such
systems, phone or otherwise.

Chris
AN GETTO$;DUMP;RUN,ALGOL,TAPE
$$

######

From: Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 12 Jan 2001 16:33:16 GMT
Organization: IDT Internet Services
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Alexandre Pechtchanski <alex*@*rockvax.rockefeller.edu> wrote:
: On 11 Jan 2001 16:49:33 GMT, Eric Chomko <chomko@IDT.NET> wrote:

: >Joshua Hesse <00093182@bigred.unl.edu> wrote:
: >: Eric Chomko <chomko@idt.net> wrote:
: >
: >:  :No,No, the "single bullet theory" of JFK assassination fame is much more
: >:  :implausible than anything Reagan did. And what again did we "win" WRT the
: >:  :Cold War? "To the victors belongs the spoils." What spoils?
: >
: >: Ideological bragging rights.
: >
: >We always had that even during the Cold War. Well, maybe not between
: >Sputnik and Apollo, but certainly afterward. JFK's commitment to go to the
: >moon was much more powerful than the scripted, "Mr. Gorbychev, tear down
: >that wall!"
: >
: >I ain't a big fan of Socialism but Capitalism is hell on the environment.
: >

: Just be happy you don't know what is _real_ hell on environment.  Ever heard of
: mother's milk being poisonous to children?  A _sea_ disappearing (drying out)?

: Capitalism is positively benign to environment comparing to Soviet Socialism.

Soviet Socialism means Capitalism for all those fortuante to be in the "Party" and to
hell with the rest of the population.

And just because the Soviet Union was terrible, that and that alone does not make the
US great. That belief has too many Americans sitting on their asses.

Eric

######

From: dg@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2001 15:27:14 +0000
Organization: I do not speak for anyone but myself, and barely that.
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In article <3A5DEA64.B50B1401@earthlink.net>,
	jchausler <jchausler@earthlink.net> writes:
[...]
> Don't forget the old joke, small third world country is having financial
> problems so it declares war on "first world" country with the expectation
> of losing the war (by immediately surrendering) and receiving a massive
> "reconstruction" aid package.

_The Mouse That Roared_, where Grand Fenwick declares war on the US.
Unfortunately, Grand Fenwick wins.

-- 
+- David Given ---------------McQ-+ "I have a mind like a steel trap. It's
|  Work: dg@tao-group.com         | rusty and full of dead mice." ---
|  Play: dgiven@iname.com         | Anonymous, on rasfc                        
+- http://wired.st-and.ac.uk/~dg -+ 

######

From: linley@megami.org (Bruce Linley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 12 Jan 2001 11:33:09 -0800
Organization: Megami no Belldandy-sama no deshi
Message-ID: <93nm5l$md6$1@megami.org>
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In ye olden post "Roger Johnstone" <rojaws@mac.com> spake...
>----------
>In article <2dp439.nem.ln@127.0.0.1>, dg@pearl.tao.co.uk (David Given)
>wrote:
>
>> Or the Acme Exploding Console(tm). (Q: Why do no Star Trek films ever have
>> the bridge crew wearing seat belts? A: Would *you* want to be strapped to
>> one of those consoles during a battle?)
>>
>> There was an expisode of _Farscape_ where their ship gets hit, and a
>> bridge console explodes in time-honoured fashion. Crichton, the token
>> human, leaps back, arm over his face, and bellows, "Haven't you people
>> ever heard of FUSES?"
>
>How about the heavy beams tacked to the ceiling in all the space ships?
>Whenever a ship gets hit really hard they fall, crushing one of the crew
>members. The silliest thing is that the beams must be purely decorative,
>since if they were support beams the ship's hull would rupture long before
>the beam fell down.


Guess they abandoned the use of relays. Just run warp power directly
through the bridge console.

I sure am glad when I turn the key to start my car that 100 A current
isn't flowing through the key switch. Long live our primitive tech!


-- 
Bruce James Robert Linley | +---+---+--_ | "Ocha tte nigai demo... hito no chi
linley at megami dot org  | |   |NV | UT |  wa atatakakute tottemo amai no"
Programmer, Fortunet Inc. | \ CA \  |___ | "Tea is always bitter... but blood 
Las Vegas, Nevada, USA ---------> \*| AZ |  is warm and sweet"     - Miyu

######

From: cbh@REMOVE_THIS.teabag.fsnet.co.uk (Chris Hedley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 14 Jan 2001 01:05:32 GMT
Organization: teabag
Message-ID: <93qu0s$l2n$1@teabag.cbhnet>
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In article <93iljg$tsc@r02n01.cac.psu.edu>,
	dochawk@psu.edu writes:
> Same as in WWII:  the opportunity to spend massively to
> reconstruct the losing side :)

And allies on the winning side, as well: lend-lease for supplies to the
UK was quite a profitable venture, as was transfer of rights to technological
innovations for military services rendered.

Chris.

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 14 Jan 2001 03:12:23 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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Juergen Nickelsen <jnickelsen@acm.org> writes:

>I also found Linotypes extremely fascinating, by their sound as well
>as by their look when in action. The whirrs and the
>clickety-clackety were the perfect background music for a sight
>where it seemed that *everywhere* over all the machine something was
>in motion. Espcially the flow of letters from all diferent places to
>the line being assembled put me in awe.


...or the sound of the slugs as they were resorted back into the magazines
after the line that they represented had been cast.  (For that matter, the
long arm that raised them up to the top of the magazine always made me
think that Morgenthaler had used Rube Goldberg as his inspiration.)

Joe Morris

######

From: benc@krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk (Ben Clifford)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 18:49:18 +0000
Organization: benZone
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On Tue, 09 Jan 2001 17:23:55 -0000, Chris Adams <cmadams@HiWAAY.net> wrote:

>>Maybe ATMs in my area have 911 call buttons. You talk directly to
>>the 911 operator.

New BT touch screen phone/internet kiosks round here have a yellow
button marked "for emergency use only".

It doesn't seem entirely clear to me that pressing it would put you
straight through to the emergency operator, at least not without a little
bit of thought. So it fails in that respect.

Plus it is just a single button to press without (I assume) any confirmation.

I am not impressed, but I suppose they had to have such a button as it is
rather awkward to navigate the touch screen menu system to try to make
a telephone call.

I just use them for free access to news.bbc.co.uk... anybody know how
to get a free domain under bbc.co.uk so I can put my web stuff there? :-)

-- 
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/travel/ for my rotating world map applet
http://www.hawaga.org.uk/benc_key.txt PGP / GPG key 0x30F06950 - please use it!
Telnet to krustbustr.hawaga.org.uk for interactive chat.

######

From: Howard S Shubs <hshubs@mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 20:35:51 -0500
Organization: Denim Software
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In article <93qmae$s9k$1@mamenchi.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE>, 
wolfaefg@w350zrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Wolfgang Schwanke) wrote:

>Are the US govt. putting money into East Germany or Russia? 

Does West Berlin count?  How about grain shipments?

-- 
"...run in circles, scream and shout!"    I hope you have good backups.

######

From: yngvar.folling@hl.telia.no (Yngvar Folling)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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In article <e16u5t8ssg0358k1s7fmj19to9h2oaq1hv@4ax.com>,
D.J. <djim55@boingydatasync.com> wrote:

> []  The Mouse That Roared ? Circa 60, with Peter Sellars (sp?)

> One of at least two, possibly three books. One of the books was made
> into that movie.

There were *two* movies, in fact.  A film was made of "Mouse on the
Moon" as well.  Not with Peter Sellers, though.  The Duchess was played
by Margaret Rutherford (better known as Miss Marple).

Yngvar

######

From: D.J. <djim55@cheesydatasync.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 17:04:17 -0600
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yngvar.folling@hl.telia.no (Yngvar Folling) wrote:
[]There were *two* movies, in fact.  A film was made of "Mouse on the
[]Moon" as well.  Not with Peter Sellers, though.  The Duchess was played
[]by Margaret Rutherford (better known as Miss Marple).

  Thanks for the info. I had only seen the one.

JimP.
-- 
djim55 at tyhe datasync dot com. Disclaimer: Standard.
Web page server upgrades in progress, pages offline
http://www.crosswinds.net/~djim51/updated.html
Registered Linux user#185746

######

From: bhk@dsl.co.uk (Brian {Hamilton Kelly})
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 23:39:30 GMT
Organization: Dragonhill Systems Ltd
Message-ID: <979601970snz@dsl.co.uk>
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Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.folklore.computers:73374

In article <93r5en$9cp$1@top.mitre.org>
           jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG "Joe Morris" writes:

> Juergen Nickelsen <jnickelsen@acm.org> writes:
> 
> >I also found Linotypes extremely fascinating, by their sound as well
> >as by their look when in action. The whirrs and the
> >clickety-clackety were the perfect background music for a sight
> >where it seemed that *everywhere* over all the machine something was
> >in motion. Espcially the flow of letters from all diferent places to
> >the line being assembled put me in awe.
> 
> 
> ...or the sound of the slugs as they were resorted back into the magazines
> after the line that they represented had been cast.  (For that matter, the
> long arm that raised them up to the top of the magazine always made me
> think that Morgenthaler had used Rube Goldberg as his inspiration.)

Surely, the bits that dropped back into the magazines were known as
matrices?  Slugs were the name for the cast line of type, which went on
into page composition, stereotyping (with a flong) and were then melted
down again ready for the next day's paper.

-- 
Brian {Hamilton Kelly}                                          bhk@dsl.co.uk
    "We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of
    distributed ignorance.  And we know and understand less while being incr-
    easingly capable."                          Prof. Peter Cochrane, BT Labs

######

From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
Date: 16 Jan 2001 03:17:55 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
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bhk@dsl.co.uk (Brian {Hamilton Kelly}) writes:

>   jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG "Joe Morris" writes:

>> ...or the sound of the slugs as they were resorted back into the magazines
>> after the line that they represented had been cast.  (For that matter, the
>> long arm that raised them up to the top of the magazine always made me
>> think that Morgenthaler had used Rube Goldberg as his inspiration.)

>Surely, the bits that dropped back into the magazines were known as
>matrices?  Slugs were the name for the cast line of type, which went on
>into page composition, stereotyping (with a flong) and were then melted
>down again ready for the next day's paper.

Oops...you're absolutely right.  The matrices were what came out of
the magazine and were eventually resorted...clickliclicclicklic  clicklik.

By whatever name the components might be called, however, the machine was
still something that Rube Goldberg certainly loved.

Joe Morris

######

From: Jim Stewart <jstewart@jkmicro.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: stupid user stories
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Brian {Hamilton Kelly} wrote:
> 
> In article <93r5en$9cp$1@top.mitre.org>
>            jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG "Joe Morris" writes:
> 
> > Juergen Nickelsen <jnickelsen@acm.org> writes:
> >
> > >I also found Linotypes extremely fascinating, by their sound as well
> > >as by their look when in action. The whirrs and the
> > >clickety-clackety were the perfect background music for a sight
> > >where it seemed that *everywhere* over all the machine something was
> > >in motion. Espcially the flow of letters from all diferent places to
> > >the line being assembled put me in awe.
> >
> >
> > ...or the sound of the slugs as they were resorted back into the magazines
> > after the line that they represented had been cast.  (For that matter, the
> > long arm that raised them up to the top of the magazine always made me
> > think that Morgenthaler had used Rube Goldberg as his inspiration.)
> 
> Surely, the bits that dropped back into the magazines were known as
> matrices?  Slugs were the name for the cast line of type, which went on
> into page composition, stereotyping (with a flong) and were then melted
> down again ready for the next day's paper.

They were properly known as matrices, although all the
typesetters/printers that I've talked to called them matrixes (:

BTW, for all the mechanical complexity of a linotype, the one feature
that strikes me as brilliant was the space bars.  The character matrices
were of the width of the character plus a little on each side.  Where
spaces between words were to appear, a wedge shaped "matrix" was dropped
with no character face.  At the end of a line, all the space bars were
evenly pushed until all the extra white space in the line was evenly
distributed between each word space in the line and the line was
justified right and left with the column.