Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) From: kevin@vailstar.com (Kevin Michael Vail) Date: Sat, 2 Oct 1999 20:49:36 -0400 Message-ID: <1dz29fn.5ma7kpxwafzuN@[192.168.0.4]> References: <7qjlnv$r1l$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <37ced3ff@195.34.192.13> <37CF1B3C.3BB0@xpert.net> <37d7cf96.175975182@mindmeld.idcomm.com> <37da20ae.15732201@news.netcomuk.co.uk> <938077627.22137.0.nnrp-13.c2de7f0d@news.demon.co.uk> <+JrqN2BSco0Y8OoWtpgs0D0lIq5u@4ax.com> <37F0970C.FFE37EDA@inthan.be> <7squt8$10e@news2.newsguy.com> <7ssht4$c3j$1@gondor.sdsu.edu> <7sstc2$rvf$3@winter.news.rcn.net> <7stf1a$26t0@news1.newsguy.com> <7svhhi$ske$4@winter.news.rcn.net> Organization: The Vail-Starn Family X-Face: 5!tfUy?b,\Mh8up",rDEyx`86g9e1r2U^R4.E User-Agent: MacSOUP/2.4 NNTP-Posting-Host: vailstar.his.com Lines: 26 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!news0.de.colt.net!blackbush.xlink.net!newsfeed.tli.de!nntp.frontiernet.net!nntp.gctr.net!news4.his.com!kevin Alexandre Pechtchanski wrote: > On Thu, 30 Sep 99 09:19:21 GMT, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote: > > >In article > >, > > Jim Stewart wrote: > >> > >>When you see the comment "There Be Dragons", you know you're in trouble. > > > >Nah, the better one is, "This'll never happen". > > I know I am in trouble when I see _error message_ "This'll never happen" > appear in the running program ;-) When I worked at Tandy, some friends of mine in the system programming department ran into a case that really shouldn't ever happen, so they gave it a really bizarre error message. It turned out that the error could happen under very special cases. It was probably pretty awkward for the customer service rep who had to try to explain to the customer why their computer was giving the message "Shut her down, Scotty, she's sucking mud again!" -- Kevin Michael Vail | When people are going to a mountain, they should kevin@vailstar.com | forget the molehills. --Tenzing Norgay ###### From: autismuk@aol.com (AutismUK) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re Lines: 7 NNTP-Posting-Host: ladder05.news.aol.com X-Admin: news@aol.com Date: 03 Oct 1999 07:44:26 GMT References: <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Organization: AOL, http://www.aol.co.uk X-Newsreader: Session Scheduler Message-ID: <19991003034426.16104.00000451@ngol08.aol.com> Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!howland.erols.net!peerfeed.news.psi.net!portc01.blue.aol.com!audrey01.news.aol.com!not-for-mail For a good laugh, visit : www.iarchitect.com/msoft.htm. It's a site for an interface design company, but it has several pages of sent-in and discovered "how not to" designs, including error messages. It's a hoot. PSR ###### Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re References: <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <19991003034426.16104.00000451@ngol08.aol.com> Organization: Clark Internet Services, Inc., Ellicott City, MD USA From: gamma@clark.net (Gamma) Lines: 19 Message-ID: Date: Sun, 03 Oct 1999 15:22:15 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 168.143.0.8 X-Complaints-To: abuse@verio.net X-Trace: dfw-read.news.verio.net 938964135 168.143.0.8 (Sun, 03 Oct 1999 15:22:15 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sun, 03 Oct 1999 15:22:15 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!iad-peer.news.verio.net!news.verio.net!iad-artgen.news.verio.net!dfw-read.news.verio.net.POSTED!gamma In article <19991003034426.16104.00000451@ngol08.aol.com>, AutismUK wrote: >For a good laugh, visit : www.iarchitect.com/msoft.htm. It's a site >for an interface design company, but it has several pages of >sent-in and discovered "how not to" designs, including error messages. >It's a hoot. So far, I've only gotten as far as their (long) review of the Quicktime 4.0 beta interface, and I must say, this is GREAT stuff. Thanks for the tip! -- Paul Brinkley gamma@clark.net ###### From: tjb@starbase.neosoft.com (Timothy J. Bogart) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re Date: 3 Oct 1999 15:35:55 GMT Organization: NeoSoft, Inc. +1 713 968 5800 Lines: 13 Message-ID: <5F4DFD7832CE056A.78D0B7569A4E17B2.83E83CE8E683BCB3@lp.airnews.net> X-Orig-Message-ID: <7t7t4r$en8@library2.airnews.net> References: <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <19991003034426.16104.00000451@ngol08.aol.com> Abuse-Reports-To: abuse at airmail.net to report improper postings NNTP-Proxy-Relay: library2.airnews.net NNTP-Posting-Time: Sun Oct 3 10:35:55 1999 NNTP-Posting-Host: !]oNj1k-WZ+/]$) (Encoded at Airnews!) X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test60 (5 October 1997) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!news0.de.colt.net!colt.net!newsfeed.icl.net!newspump.monmouth.com!newspeer.monmouth.com!nntp2.giganews.com!news.airnews.net!cabal10.airnews.net!cabal1.airnews.net!news-f.iadfw.net!not-for-mail In article <19991003034426.16104.00000451@ngol08.aol.com>, AutismUK wrote: >For a good laugh, visit : www.iarchitect.com/msoft.htm. It's a site >for an interface design company, but it has several pages of >sent-in and discovered "how not to" designs, including error messages. >It's a hoot. > >PSR > A definate hoot! ###### From: tjb@starbase.neosoft.com (Timothy J. Bogart) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 3 Oct 1999 01:05:07 GMT Organization: NeoSoft, Inc. +1 713 968 5800 Lines: 37 Message-ID: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> X-Orig-Message-ID: <7t6a43$e40@library2.airnews.net> References: <7sstc2$rvf$3@winter.news.rcn.net> <7stf1a$26t0@news1.newsguy. <1dz29fn.5ma7kpxwafzuN@[192.168.0.4]> Abuse-Reports-To: abuse at airmail.net to report improper postings NNTP-Proxy-Relay: library2.airnews.net NNTP-Posting-Time: Sat Oct 2 20:05:07 1999 NNTP-Posting-Host: !]Y]U1k-VW*R=SZ (Encoded at Airnews!) X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test60 (5 October 1997) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!howland.erols.net!firehose.mindspring.net!news.airnews.net!cabal10.airnews.net!cabal1.airnews.net!news-f.iadfw.net!not-for-mail In article <1dz29fn.5ma7kpxwafzuN@[192.168.0.4]>, Kevin Michael Vail wrote: >Alexandre Pechtchanski wrote: > >> On Thu, 30 Sep 99 09:19:21 GMT, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote: >> >> >In article >> >, >> > Jim Stewart wrote: >> >> >> >>When you see the comment "There Be Dragons", you know you're in trouble. >> > >> >Nah, the better one is, "This'll never happen". >> >> I know I am in trouble when I see _error message_ "This'll never happen" >> appear in the running program ;-) > >When I worked at Tandy, some friends of mine in the system programming >department ran into a case that really shouldn't ever happen, so they >gave it a really bizarre error message. > >It turned out that the error could happen under very special cases. It >was probably pretty awkward for the customer service rep who had to try >to explain to the customer why their computer was giving the message >"Shut her down, Scotty, she's sucking mud again!" >-- >Kevin Michael Vail | When people are going to a mountain, they should >kevin@vailstar.com | forget the molehills. --Tenzing Norgay AIX has been known to spout "Danger Will Robinson"! Took awhile before I realized the person reporting the error was _not_ pulling my leg. 8-) ###### From: jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu (John G Dobnick) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 3 Oct 1999 06:22:04 GMT Organization: University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee Lines: 32 Message-ID: <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> Reply-To: jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.203 Originator: jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!uunet!chi.uu.net!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!newspeer.monmouth.com!howland.erols.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!alpha3.csd.uwm.edu!jgd From article <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net>, by tjb@starbase.neosoft.com (Timothy J. Bogart): > > AIX has been known to spout "Danger Will Robinson"! > And what triggered _that_? (He said, since he has an AIX system on site.) Not really a _bizarre_ error message, but certainly amusing... 1) The old FORTRAN V optimizing compiler for the venerable UNIVAC 1108 once spit out an _interesting_ diagnostic. A card reader hiccuped and transmitted the same card image twice -- a rather complex arithmetic statement. The compiler flagged the second occurrence with the note: The following assignment is redundant and has been deleted. 2) The old, old, _old_ DOD COBOL compiler, for the same system, once produced the following: The reference to xxxxx is nugatory. That's the only time a compiler ever sent me to the dictionary. -- John G Dobnick "Knowing how things work is the basis Information & Media Technologies for appreciation, and is thus a University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee source of civilized delight." jgd@uwm.edu ATTnet: (414) 229-5727 -- William Safire ###### From: pbennett@volta.ee.calpoly.edu (Paul Curtis Bennett) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 4 Oct 1999 03:11:34 GMT Organization: Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo Lines: 11 Message-ID: <7t95t6$g3c$1@cscnews.csc.calpoly.edu> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: volta.ee.calpoly.edu X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!HSNX.callatg.com!cscnews.csc.calpoly.edu!volta.ee.calpoly.edu!pbennett John G Dobnick (jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu) wrote: : From article <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net>, by tjb@starbase.neosoft.com (Timothy J. Bogart): : > : > AIX has been known to spout "Danger Will Robinson"! : > On one of our systems, when the program gets too confused, it enters "Panic" mode, and attemps to repair as much damage as possible before exiting. Seems reasonable. However, the department head gave us a stern talking to after several users misunderstood the flashing red messages that said "Begin PANIC!". ###### From: Victor Eijkhout Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 04 Oct 1999 10:07:28 -0400 Organization: University of Tennessee Lines: 12 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: prancer.cs.utk.edu X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.5/Emacs 20.2 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news-peer1.sprintlink.net!news-in-central.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!utk.edu!not-for-mail jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu (John G Dobnick) writes: > The reference to xxxxx is nugatory. > > That's the only time a compiler ever sent me to the dictionary. So what was that msg again that Bernie Greenbaum put in some kernel? "And onto the root a child was born"? Or something like that, but then _in_latin_ ... -- Victor Eijkhout ###### From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Organization: ErsteSoft Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: 8bit X-Newsreader: Yet Another NewsWatcher 2.3.1 Lines: 120 Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 11:38:05 -0700 NNTP-Posting-Host: 216.103.86.8 X-Complaints-To: abuse@swbell.net X-Trace: typhoon01.swbell.net 939062210 216.103.86.8 (Mon, 04 Oct 1999 11:36:50 PDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 11:36:50 PDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!cyclone.swbell.net!typhoon01.swbell.net.POSTED!not-for-mail In article , Victor Eijkhout wrote: > jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu (John G Dobnick) writes: > > > The reference to xxxxx is nugatory. > > > > That's the only time a compiler ever sent me to the dictionary. > > So what was that msg again that Bernie Greenbaum put in some kernel? > "And onto the root a child was born"? Or something like that, > but then _in_latin_ ... When I finally got around to reading _Through_the_Looking_Glass_, and came to the poem that Humpty Dumpty recites to Alice: In winter, when the fields are white I sing this song for your delight. In spring, when woods are getting green I'll try and tell you what I mean. In summer, when the days are long Perhaps you'll understand the song. In autumn, when the leaves are brown Take pen and ink and write it down. I sent a message to the fish; I told them, "This is what I wish." The little fishes of the sea, They sent an answer back to me. The little fishes' answer was, "We cannot do it, sir, because--" I sent again to them to say It will be better to obey. The fishes answered, with a grin, "Why, what a temper you are in!" I told them once, I told them twice; They would not listen to advice. I took a kettle large and new, Fit for the deed I had to do. My heart went hop, my heart when thump; I filled the kettle at the pump. Then someone came to me and said, The little fishes are in bed. I said to him, I said it plain, "Then you must wake them up again." I said it very loud and clear; I went and shouted in his ear. But he was very stiff and proud; He said you needn't shout so loud! And he was very proud and stiff; He said, "I'd go and wake them, if--" I took a corkscrew from the shelf; I went to wake them up myself. And when I found the door was locked, I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked. And when I found the door was shut, I tried to turn the handle, but-- I just knew I had to incorporate that poem into the comments of a program. I had just finished writing a quick-and-dirty MCS (Message Control System), and a complete rewrite, from the bottom up beginning with a new design, was in the works. On a Burroughs Large System computer, an MCS routes messages between terminals and applications, launching and shutting down applications as needed, and dealing with various error conditions, both relating to the terminals and lines as well as with things like unexpected program quits. The couplets of the poem seemed almost as if they had been designed to describe the various parts of an MCS. "I sent a message...", "...we cannot do it sir, because", "I sent again...", "Then someone came to me and said...", "I went to wake them up myself". My thought was to place each couplet at the beginning of whatever section of the program it fit best with: message queueing, error handling, retransmission, process startup/shutdown, etc. In looking again at the poem, I notice that both Alice and Humpty Dumpty keep interrupting the recital. Some of the interruptions might make interesting comments in their own right: "I'm afraid I don't quite understand," said Alice. "It gets easier farther on," Humpty Dumpty replied. or "I will, if I can remember it so long," said Alice. "You needn't go on making remarks like that," Humpty Dumpty said, "They're not sensible, and they put me out." and of course the final exchange between them, after the poem comes to its abrupt end: "Is that all?" Alice timidly asked. "That's all," said Humpty Dumpty. "Good-bye." which of course goes on the program termination routine. Unfortunately, the project I intended to use it in never got written. I've always regretted that. -Ron Hunsinger ###### From: hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Organization: ErsteSoft Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: 8bit X-Newsreader: Yet Another NewsWatcher 2.3.1 Lines: 14 Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 13:14:14 -0700 NNTP-Posting-Host: 216.103.86.8 X-Complaints-To: abuse@swbell.net X-Trace: typhoon01.swbell.net 939067978 216.103.86.8 (Mon, 04 Oct 1999 13:12:58 PDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 13:12:58 PDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news.he.net!cyclone.pbi.net!151.164.30.35!cyclone.swbell.net!typhoon01.swbell.net.POSTED!not-for-mail In article , seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) wrote: > I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous > error messages, e.g. > "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only > requires 509)" > (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) My favorite was: "Too many errors. Make fewer!" -Ron Hunsinger ###### Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Organization: Plethora . Net - More net, less spam! X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) Lines: 55 Message-ID: Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 15:37:12 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 205.166.146.8 X-Complaints-To: abuse@plethora.net X-Trace: ptah.visi.com 939051432 205.166.146.8 (Mon, 04 Oct 1999 10:37:12 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 10:37:12 CDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!ptah.visi.com!not-for-mail In article <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu>, John G Dobnick wrote: > 2) The old, old, _old_ DOD COBOL compiler, for the same system, > once produced the following: > > The reference to xxxxx is nugatory. > > That's the only time a compiler ever sent me to the dictionary. My first encounter with that word was in a bit of old gas (GNU assembler) code. A friend of mine (Hi, Mike!) was mentoring me in hacking, and he had a great bug sitting around; 'gas' would ignore .org instructions. Quick background: .org N means "emit sufficient junk that the next thing assembled starts no earlier than byte N of output". So, I was reading the code and trying to debug it. (Remember, I *still* don't know any assembly, and I really don't grok assemblers.) So, we found two things to look at: 1. A comment "assume .org is nugatory for now", which caused us to look the word up. (Conveniently, one of the machines available was a NeXT, and we had on-line dictionary.) 2. The chain of logic the program thought it should follow. I decided to go ahead and read through the logic. I guessed right; when we actually tried to process '.org', there was a line of the form skip - orgvalue - current_location; which meant to be skip = orgvalue - current_location; Amusingly, gcc *does* have a feature to identify lines of code which do nothing (although it shies away from calling them "nugatory"), but it couldn't be used on gas because the code was to hairy to pass through it at all. It turned out that the FSF had already fixed this in the "current" version at the time, but I was pretty happy, I successfully debugged a program I didn't understand at all. :) Anyway, that's my story about the use of the word "nugatory" in programs. I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous error messages, e.g. "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only requires 509)" (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) -s -- Copyright 1999, All rights reserved. Peter Seebach / seebs@plethora.net C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter. Boycott Spamazon! Will work for interesting hardware. http://www.plethora.net/~seebs/ Visit my new ISP --- More Net, Less Spam! ###### From: don@news.daedalus.co.nz (Don Stokes) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 4 Oct 1999 23:21:05 GMT Organization: Daedalus Consulting Lines: 44 Message-ID: <939118809.882801@shelley.paradise.net.nz> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: shelley.paradise.net.nz X-Trace: titan.xtra.co.nz 939079265 9237427 203.96.152.26 (4 Oct 1999 23:21:05 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@xtra.co.nz NNTP-Posting-Date: 4 Oct 1999 23:21:05 GMT Cache-Post-Path: shelley.paradise.net.nz!unknown@203-96-144-16.cable.paradise.net.nz X-Cache: nntpcache 2.3.3b4 (see http://www.nntpcache.org/) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!news.datacomm.ch!newscore.gigabell.net!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!su-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!lsanca1-snf1!news.gtei.net!news.netgate.net.nz!news.xtra.co.nz!don Peter Seebach wrote: >Quick background: > .org N >means "emit sufficient junk that the next thing assembled starts no earlier >than byte N of output". Dunno about gas, but .org, ORG or whatever doesn't do anything of the sort in any assembler I've used. Rather, it sets the origin of the code, ie the address the code is going to be loaded onto the target system and therefore base address when computing absolute addresses within the assembled code. Normally you put an ORG statement before anything in your assembler source that would actually emit something. Multiple ORGs may output junk if placed between bits of emitted code, and if the object format is too stupid (eg a straight memory image) to handle gaps in the image. So if I say: ORG 1000 JMP FOO ; Absolute jump ... FOO: then my code image had better be loaded at 1000 or the JMP is not going to land on FOO. Maybe the object file contains enough information to load it in the correct place, maybe I have to do it manually, but there isn't 1000 bytes/words/whatever of junk to do the alignment. After all, if I had the OS jump table or interrupt vectors down there, I'd hardly want them stomped on by useless garbage, would I? Assemblers intended for proper relocating linkers usually arrange code blocks in ways that make ORG largely irrelevant, but any assembler that emits a raw code image with absolute references needs ORG or its equivalent to specify the target load address. >So, I was reading the code and trying to debug it. (Remember, I *still* >don't know any assembly, and I really don't grok assemblers.) -- don ###### From: slavins.at.hearsay.demon.co.uk@localhost (Simon Slavin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Mon, 04 Oct 1999 23:39:25 +0100 Organization: First Sirian Bank Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: hearsay.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: hearsay.demon.co.uk:194.222.24.177 X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 939076748 nnrp-13:5052 NO-IDENT hearsay.demon.co.uk:194.222.24.177 X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net Lines: 26 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!news.demon.co.uk!demon!hearsay.demon.co.uk!user In article <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu>, jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu (John G Dobnick) wrote: > Not really a _bizarre_ error message, but certainly amusing... This too. I admin a security-system at work. It has a problem: the system it controls access to doesn't realise that someone stuck a login/privilage system on top of it. Occasionally the two interact in ... erm ... interesting ways. One of my favourite is during shutdown: the main system knows it's going to be shutdown and stops maintaining things like colour palettes (because the monitor is about to be turned-off anyway). Then the security message puts up a dialog asking "Are you sure you want to log off ?". Because the colour palettes are no longer being maintained, this message is displayed in the last two colours which the system used. In practise, this means that around 50% of the time the message shows up written in black on a black background. This is not a good piece of user-interface design. Simon. -- http://www.hearsay.demon.co.uk | John Peel: No junk email please. | [My daughter] has modelled herself on you. | Courtney Love: | Oh, I'm so sorry. ###### From: hshubs@mindspring.com (Howard S Shubs) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 00:19:32 -0500 Organization: MindSpring Enterprises Lines: 12 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: c7.ae.37.e4 X-Server-Date: 5 Oct 1999 05:19:33 GMT Mail-Copies-To: never X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.4 X-Face: "S"r{U%bs].&Ud}Pc~~~0a]M:t5l>>EN\1Faw10M9NK1Xq59wo7-"s0S+[{etQorO /Nf-Ci"i9v'MT!R8)J]N[4|2&x1r^Iq&{SB"6dknr0=+6UFb.>+{zMn_1=rw&/V+"d@* ZS5\LoW_ Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!feed2.news.luth.se!luth.se!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!firehose.mindspring.com!hshubs In article , hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger) wrote: >Unfortunately, the project I intended to use it in never got written. I've >always regretted that. If you, or anyone else, could ever manage something like that in minimal code, it might be worth publishing. -- Howard S Shubs hshubs@mindspring.com hshubs@bix.com The Denim Adept Is this the right room for an argument? SPAM: uce@ftc.gov postmaster@[127.0.0.1] abuse@[127.0.0.1] ###### From: "donald tees" Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 08:11:49 -0400 Organization: IGS - Information Gateway Services Lines: 23 Message-ID: <7tcq1d$nfl$1@news.igs.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: ttya0e.kw.igs.net X-Trace: news.igs.net 939125613 24053 216.58.99.46 (5 Oct 1999 12:13:33 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@igs.net NNTP-Posting-Date: 5 Oct 1999 12:13:33 GMT X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.1 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!howland.erols.net!torn!nott!nntp.igs.net!news.igs.net!not-for-mail My favourite was: Catastrophic error: Error table overflow. Ron Hunsinger wrote in message ... >In article , seebs@plethora.net (Peter >Seebach) wrote: > >> I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous >> error messages, e.g. >> "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only >> requires 509)" >> (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) > >My favorite was: > > "Too many errors. Make fewer!" > >-Ron Hunsinger ###### From: jmfbahciv@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 05 Oct 99 09:36:24 GMT Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc. Lines: 54 Message-ID: <7tcof0$br2$6@autumn.news.rcn.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> X-Trace: OJfMiA314oXO/Dspk4kknxziLAa9yrrMJjiNLbt5mJM= X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 5 Oct 1999 11:46:40 GMT X-Newsreader: News Xpress Version 1.0 Beta #4 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!netnews.com!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!d15 In article , seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) wrote: >In article <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu>, >John G Dobnick wrote: >> 2) The old, old, _old_ DOD COBOL compiler, for the same system, >> once produced the following: >> >> The reference to xxxxx is nugatory. >> >> That's the only time a compiler ever sent me to the dictionary. > >My first encounter with that word was in a bit of old gas (GNU assembler) >code. A friend of mine (Hi, Mike!) was mentoring me in hacking, and he had >a great bug sitting around; 'gas' would ignore > .org >instructions. > >Quick background: > .org N >means "emit sufficient junk that the next thing assembled starts no earlier >than byte N of output". > >So, I was reading the code and trying to debug it. (Remember, I *still* >don't know any assembly, and I really don't grok assemblers.) So, we found >two things to look at: > 1. A comment "assume .org is nugatory for now", which caused us to > look the word up. (Conveniently, one of the machines available was > a NeXT, and we had on-line dictionary.) > 2. The chain of logic the program thought it should follow. >I decided to go ahead and read through the logic. I guessed right; when >we actually tried to process '.org', there was a line of the form > skip - orgvalue - current_location; >which meant to be > skip = orgvalue - current_location; > >Amusingly, gcc *does* have a feature to identify lines of code which do >nothing (although it shies away from calling them "nugatory"), but it couldn't >be used on gas because the code was to hairy to pass through it at all. > >It turned out that the FSF had already fixed this in the "current" version at >the time, but I was pretty happy, I successfully debugged a program I didn't >understand at all. :) That's a sign of a true pro :-). /BAH Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail. ###### From: jmfbahciv@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 05 Oct 99 09:38:26 GMT Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc. Message-ID: <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> X-Trace: OJfMiA314oWQOD+Gi0UNifHHmn8n04Ka8caxj8OwISU= X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 5 Oct 1999 11:48:41 GMT X-Newsreader: News Xpress Version 1.0 Beta #4 Lines: 30 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!colt.net!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!d15 In article , hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger) wrote: >In article , seebs@plethora.net (Peter >Seebach) wrote: > >> I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous >> error messages, e.g. >> "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only >> requires 509)" >> (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) > >My favorite was: > > "Too many errors. Make fewer!" I like that one :-). The message that always made JMF chuckle was the one put out by MACRO-10. After a successful assembly, it would say No errors detected I was always surprised at the number of people who didn't understand what that implied. /BAH Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail. ###### From: bhahn@spam-spam.go-away.com (Brendan Hahn) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Organization: Transoft Corp Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: 8bit Reply-To: bhahn@transoft.mangle.net (unmangle address to reply) X-Newsreader: Yet Another NewsWatcher 2.4.0 Lines: 19 Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 11:26:47 -0700 NNTP-Posting-Host: 205.180.87.35 X-Complaints-To: abuse@verio.net X-Trace: nuq-read.news.verio.net 939147782 205.180.87.35 (Tue, 05 Oct 1999 18:23:02 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 18:23:02 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!howland.erols.net!newshub.northeast.verio.net!iad-peer.news.verio.net!news.verio.net!dfw-artgen.news.verio.net!nuq-read.news.verio.net.POSTED!bhahn brucehoult@pobox.com (Bruce Hoult) wrote: >(Peter Seebach) wrote: > >> I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous >> error messages, e.g. >> "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only >> requires 509)" >> (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) > >I posted a list of those on comp.sys.mac.programmer back in 1991 or so and >it's *still* today turning up afresh on web sites and mailing lists. >Sometimes even with attribution... One message not on that list that was the favorite thing I ever saw out of the MPW C compiler came from a pre-beta release of a new revision in development (92--don't remember the version #). It would crash with the diagnostic "Code generator out of control!" bhahn@transoft.mangle.net <-- unmangle to reply ###### From: greg@apple2.com Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Organization: II Infinitum X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.4 X-Face: &@UA7$)=n9C7!qu%-5s},3tR@NEy+B>8PW"^,8?A>%."0{J2c1Yr]NKw';5/( J\r@/{UADjCdE~iRnOEOfbre(/1Y=$TS3Wt7B`a4sz,, brucehoult@pobox.com (Bruce Hoult) wrote: >seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) wrote: >> I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous >> error messages, e.g. >> "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only >> requires 509)" >> (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) > I posted a list of those on comp.sys.mac.programmer back in 1991 or so and > it's *still* today turning up afresh on web sites and mailing lists. > Sometimes even with attribution... Here's one now: And another page which bills itself as "The Canonical List of Error Messages": -- Nine quadrillion, nine hundred ninety-nine trillion, nine hundred ninety-nine billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, one hundred nine bottles of beer. You take one down, pass it around, nine quadrillion, nine hundred ninety-nine trillion, nine hundred ninety-nine ###### From: Victor Eijkhout Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 05 Oct 1999 12:40:30 -0400 Organization: University of Tennessee Lines: 12 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: prancer.cs.utk.edu X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.5/Emacs 20.2 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newscore.univie.ac.at!howland.erols.net!nntp.abs.net!remarQ-easT!supernews.com!remarQ.com!newsfeed.usit.net!utk.edu!not-for-mail jmfbahciv@aol.com writes: > I like that one :-). The message that always made JMF chuckle > was the one put out by MACRO-10. After a successful assembly, > it would say > > No errors detected The IBM Fortran G (or H?) compiler would state "none of the errors found". -- Victor Eijkhout ###### From: jmfbahciv@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 05 Oct 99 12:44:55 GMT Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc. Lines: 30 Message-ID: <7td3ge$k25$1@autumn.news.rcn.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> X-Trace: IVktMsIsLjNlXa6mYIIESJI7x8QLjeX0l2DPdveR1Hc= X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 5 Oct 1999 14:55:10 GMT X-Newsreader: News Xpress Version 1.0 Beta #4 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!howland.erols.net!outgoing.news.rcn.net.MISMATCH!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!d14 In article , slavins.at.hearsay.demon.co.uk@localhost (Simon Slavin) wrote: >In article <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu>, >jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu (John G Dobnick) wrote: > >> Not really a _bizarre_ error message, but certainly amusing... > >This too. I admin a security-system at work. It has a problem: >the system it controls access to doesn't realise that someone >stuck a login/privilage system on top of it. Occasionally the two >interact in ... erm ... interesting ways. > >One of my favourite is during shutdown: the main system knows >it's going to be shutdown and stops maintaining things like colour >palettes (because the monitor is about to be turned-off anyway). >Then the security message puts up a dialog asking "Are you sure >you want to log off ?". Because the colour palettes are no longer >being maintained, this message is displayed in the last two colours >which the system used. In practise, this means that around 50% of >the time the message shows up written in black on a black >background. This is not a good piece of user-interface design. Black on black. I would have never thought of this :-). My main bitch is, even though software might report its problems, I never get to read it because the exit after the report causes the screen to drop down to the next level. I hate menus. /BAH Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail. ###### From: brucehoult@pobox.com (Bruce Hoult) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 15:09:44 +1300 Organization: The Internet Group Ltd Lines: 14 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: macinnat.static.star.net.nz X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.4 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!news-fra.pop.de!uunet!ams.uu.net!newsfeed2.news.nl.uu.net!sun4nl!ihug.co.nz!brucehoult In article , seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) wrote: > I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous > error messages, e.g. > "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only > requires 509)" > (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) I posted a list of those on comp.sys.mac.programmer back in 1991 or so and it's *still* today turning up afresh on web sites and mailing lists. Sometimes even with attribution... -- Bruce ###### From: brucehoult@pobox.com (Bruce Hoult) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 15:12:24 +1300 Organization: The Internet Group Ltd Lines: 19 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: macinnat.static.star.net.nz X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.4 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!ihug.co.nz!brucehoult In article , hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger) wrote: > My favorite was: > > "Too many errors. Make fewer!" Too many errors on one line (make fewer) I myself thought the best were: "This label is the target of a goto from outside of the block containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message" "Call me paranoid but finding '/*' inside this comment makes me suspicious" -- Bruce ###### From: genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 16:08:21 GMT Organization: Okanagan Internet Junction Lines: 33 Message-ID: <37f9727c.41326636@news.shuswap.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Reply-To: genew@shuswap.net NNTP-Posting-Host: salmonarm3-20.shuswap.net X-Trace: news.junction.net 939139675 7816 206.87.124.102 (5 Oct 1999 16:07:55 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@junction.net NNTP-Posting-Date: 5 Oct 1999 16:07:55 GMT X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.1/32.230 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!cyclone.bc.net!news.junction.net!not-for-mail brucehoult@pobox.com (Bruce Hoult) wrote: >In article , >hnsngr@sirius.com (Ron Hunsinger) wrote: > >> My favorite was: >> >> "Too many errors. Make fewer!" > >Too many errors on one line (make fewer) > > >I myself thought the best were: > >"This label is the target of a goto from outside of the block containing >this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer >AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message" > >"Call me paranoid but finding '/*' inside this comment makes me suspicious" Radio Shack's Level II BASIC for the TRS-80 didn't have full error messages but only a two letter code. For a subscript out of range, the message was ?BS ERROR Sincerely, Gene Wirchenko Computerese Irregular Verb Conjugation: I have preferences. You have biases. He/She has prejudices. ###### Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <939118809.882801@shelley.paradise.net.nz> Organization: Plethora . Net - More net, less spam! X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) Lines: 28 Message-ID: <4BpK3.4039$L85.305077@ptah.visi.com> Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 16:22:24 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 205.166.146.8 X-Complaints-To: abuse@plethora.net X-Trace: ptah.visi.com 939140544 205.166.146.8 (Tue, 05 Oct 1999 11:22:24 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 11:22:24 CDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!ptah.visi.com!not-for-mail In article <939118809.882801@shelley.paradise.net.nz>, Don Stokes wrote: >Peter Seebach wrote: >>Quick background: >> .org N >>means "emit sufficient junk that the next thing assembled starts no earlier >>than byte N of output". >Dunno about gas, but .org, ORG or whatever doesn't do anything of the >sort in any assembler I've used. >Rather, it sets the origin of the code, ie the address the code is going >to be loaded onto the target system and therefore base address when >computing absolute addresses within the assembled code. Normally you >put an ORG statement before anything in your assembler source that would >actually emit something. I think they generalized it; it functioned by emitting enough dummy bytes to make sure that the next thing was on byte N. Same effect, different method. -s -- Copyright 1999, All rights reserved. Peter Seebach / seebs@plethora.net C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter. Boycott Spamazon! Will work for interesting hardware. http://www.plethora.net/~seebs/ Visit my new ISP --- More Net, Less Spam! ###### From: Tommi Syrjanen Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 05 Oct 1999 20:41:21 +0300 Organization: Helsinki University of Technology, CS lab Lines: 18 Message-ID: <7jln9hso1q.fsf@filter.tcs.hut.fi> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: filter.tcs.hut.fi X-Trace: midnight.cs.hut.fi 939145281 201856 130.233.215.58 (5 Oct 1999 17:41:21 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@niksula.cs.hut.fi NNTP-Posting-Date: 5 Oct 1999 17:41:21 GMT X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.6.45/Emacs 20.3 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!newsfeed1.funet.fi!news.cs.hut.fi!not-for-mail greg@apple2.com writes: > Here's one now: > > > And another page which bills itself as "The Canonical List of Error > Messages": A couple of years ago when I was learning C programming I got fed up with segmentation faults and bus errors, so I wrote a library that would catch those signals and display a random insult instead. I don't have the sources at hand right now, but there were at least: "Your fault" "You ain't gonna finish this program tonight" "Bus error. Call taxi" -Tommi ###### Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!usenet From: Neil Franklin Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 06 Oct 1999 00:48:31 +0200 Organization: My own Private Self Lines: 17 Sender: neil@chonsp.franklin.ch Message-ID: <6u4sg5whj4.fsf@chonsp.franklin.ch> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <37f9727c.41326636@news.shuswap.net> X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.3/Emacs 19.34 genew@shuswap.net (Gene Wirchenko) writes: > > Radio Shack's Level II BASIC for the TRS-80 didn't have full > error messages but only a two letter code. For a subscript out of > range, the message was > ?BS ERROR Bad Subscript -> ?BS ERROR (file) Not Open -> ?NO ERROR That one was really hilarious. Both seen on my Dragon 32 (TRS CoCo Clone). -- Neil Franklin, neil@franklin.ch.remove http://neil.franklin.ch/ ###### Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 05:58:47 -0700 From: "Bill Becker" Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews. net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcq1d$nfl$1@news.igs.net> Organization: Kinda Organized X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express Macintosh Edition - 4.5 (0410) Mime-version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.239.201.110 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.239.201.110 Message-ID: <37f9f56f@news1.jps.net> X-Trace: 5 Oct 1999 05:56:15 -0700, 209.239.201.110 Lines: 48 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.63.224.240 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!remarQ-easT!supernews.com!remarQ.com!attmtf!ip.att.net!nntp2.cerf.net!nuq-peer.news.verio.net!news.verio.net!easynews!news-west.eli.net!news1.jps.net!209.239.201.110 I had a couple that were pretty good. In a disk controller development group, we had a device which plugged into the thing and became a kind of dumb ascii terminal. You used your thumbs to work the keyboard doing shifts, and escapes and all kinds of other hideous things to it. We had one guy (his name was Lou) who was so bad at it, we finally put in an error message that read "Is that you, Lou?" after three successive input errors. I write a crude and simple flat file search program once that was generally meant as a simple data extractor and report writer. There was an error message that appeared after five input errors that read "Seek employment elsewhere," or "Don't give up your day job." My favorite within program code is "Die, yuppy scum" when something as simple as a sysin or sysprint file doesn't open. I once saw some VM internal comments that read: "Uh oh, trouble in River City," and then CP died with a PIC004. ---------- In article <7tcq1d$nfl$1@news.igs.net>, "donald tees" wrote: > My favourite was: > > Catastrophic error: Error table overflow. > > Ron Hunsinger wrote in message ... >>In article , seebs@plethora.net (Peter >>Seebach) wrote: >> >>> I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously > humorous >>> error messages, e.g. >>> "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI > only >>> requires 509)" >>> (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) >> >>My favorite was: >> >> "Too many errors. Make fewer!" >> >>-Ron Hunsinger > > ###### From: Mike Swaim Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers References: <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcq1d$nfl$1@news.igs.net> <37f9f56f@news1.jps.net> Organization: PointeCom User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-980818 ("Laura") (UNIX) (FreeBSD/2.2.8-RELEASE (i386)) Lines: 12 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 05 Oct 1999 22:08:37 CDT X-Trace: sv1-HPuqG9uYcOkbrdPjPhNe6bjxdOwGz+R1b1dj6LPT2XwAY1s0AWsX7d/WzFcc58GaXQRD1Qd/i4tb5pw!uwuJ3EB2w2s= X-Complaints-To: abuse@GigaNews.Com X-Abuse-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers X-Abuse-Info: Otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999 03:08:37 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!newsfeed.cwix.com!nntp2.giganews.com!news4.giganews.com.POSTED!gemini.c-com.net!swaim A friend who used to work at Compaq told me of a really sophisticated remote control card they used to make. It had battery backup, and could dial out and report errors to another machine if the machine crashed or the power went out. In it's little mind, taking it out of a computer was the worst possible thing that could happen, and it'd franticly try to dial out to tell someone that something REALLY BAD had happened to the system bus. -- Mike Swaim, Avatar of Chaos: Disclaimer:I sometimes lie. Home: swaim@c-com.net Alum: swaim@alumni.rice.edu Quote: "Boingie"^4 Y,W&D ###### From: tjb@starbase.neosoft.com (Timothy J. Bogart) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 5 Oct 1999 22:57:26 GMT Organization: NeoSoft, Inc. +1 713 968 5800 Lines: 45 Message-ID: <900DA7BCD8E00C67.FCB7DBAD812D012D.14A8A71EEFF29D28@lp.airnews.net> X-Orig-Message-ID: <7tdvom$lbm@library2.airnews.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Abuse-Reports-To: abuse at airmail.net to report improper postings NNTP-Proxy-Relay: library2.airnews.net NNTP-Posting-Time: Tue Oct 5 17:57:26 1999 NNTP-Posting-Host: !`aCh1k-YFE&a!T (Encoded at Airnews!) X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test60 (5 October 1997) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!nntp2.giganews.com!news.airnews.net!cabal10.airnews.net!cabal1.airnews.net!news-f.iadfw.net!not-for-mail In article <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu>, John G Dobnick wrote: >From article <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net>, by tjb@starbase.neosoft.com (Timothy J. Bogart): >> >> AIX has been known to spout "Danger Will Robinson"! >> > > And what triggered _that_? (He said, since he has an AIX system > on site.) Got some replies from my, er, collective memory. 8-) Most likely something odd happening in a sysback boot process, twice on 830s and probably once on a 220. Hmmm, strings on the sysback tree or the OS? > > > Not really a _bizarre_ error message, but certainly amusing... > > 1) The old FORTRAN V optimizing compiler for the venerable > UNIVAC 1108 once spit out an _interesting_ diagnostic. > A card reader hiccuped and transmitted the same card image > twice -- a rather complex arithmetic statement. The compiler > flagged the second occurrence with the note: > > The following assignment is redundant and has been deleted. > > 2) The old, old, _old_ DOD COBOL compiler, for the same system, > once produced the following: > > The reference to xxxxx is nugatory. > > That's the only time a compiler ever sent me to the dictionary. > >-- >John G Dobnick "Knowing how things work is the basis >Information & Media Technologies for appreciation, and is thus a >University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee source of civilized delight." >jgd@uwm.edu ATTnet: (414) 229-5727 -- William Safire > ###### From: jcmorris@jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG (Joe Morris) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 6 Oct 1999 13:14:55 GMT Organization: The MITRE Corporation Lines: 13 Message-ID: <7tfi0f$eo1$1@top.mitre.org> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <900DA7BCD8E00C67.FCB7DBAD812D012D.14A8A71EEFF29D28@lp.airnews.net> Reply-To: jcmorris@linus.mitre.org NNTP-Posting-Host: jmorris-pc.mitre.org X-Trace: top.mitre.org 939215695 15105 128.29.251.13 (6 Oct 1999 13:14:55 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@news.mitre.org NNTP-Posting-Date: 6 Oct 1999 13:14:55 GMT X-Newsreader: NN version 6.5.0 (NOV) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!newsfeed.cwix.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!denver-news-feed1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!coop.net!world!blanket.mitre.org!news.mitre.org!jmorris-pc.MITRE.ORG!jcmorris Back in the '60s I implemented some rather extensive enhancements to the IBFTC (IBM FORTRAN) compiler in my shop, adding to it many of the language features that other vendors had put into their compilers such as multiple statements per line, quoted literals in FORMAT statements, ENCODE/DECODE, and such. For some of these features I had to keep internal state tables, and the code that looked up data in these tables had sanity checks to make sure that they weren't corrupt. If the sanity check failed, the compiler would issue the diagnostic message: ERROR 1164 HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE Joe Morris ###### Message-ID: <37FC062B.5A9553BA@loudoun.com> Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999 22:32:12 -0400 From: Robert & Debbie Fetter X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.7 [en] (Win98; U) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit NNTP-Posting-Host: 204.188.45.23 X-Trace: 6 Oct 1999 22:33:53 -0500, 204.188.45.23 Lines: 27 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!news-fra.pop.de!newsfeed.eurocyber.net!newspeer1.nac.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!pullfeed!vangogh.loudoun.com!204.188.45.23 Victor Eijkhout wrote: > jgd@alpha3.csd.uwm.edu (John G Dobnick) writes: > > > The reference to xxxxx is nugatory. > > > > That's the only time a compiler ever sent me to the dictionary. > > So what was that msg again that Bernie Greenbaum put in some kernel? > "And onto the root a child was born"? Or something like that, > but then _in_latin_ ... > > -- > Victor Eijkhout Bernie Greenberg: HODIE NATUS EST RADICI FRATER today is born the brother of the root See: http://www.best.com/~thvv/hodie-natus-est.html ###### From: Donald Fisk Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 12:28:09 +0200 Organization: IH_B Lines: 22 Message-ID: <37FC75B9.FC33C957@inthan.be> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <37FC062B.5A9553BA@loudoun.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: mail.inthan.be Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.6 [en] (WinNT; I) X-Accept-Language: en Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!newsfeed2.news.nl.uu.net!sun4nl!EU.net!news0.Belgium.EU.net!newsr.Belgium.EU.net!master.inthan.be!nobody Robert & Debbie Fetter wrote: > Bernie Greenberg: > > HODIE NATUS EST RADICI FRATER > today is born the brother of the root 'radix' is third declension, so its genitive should be 'radicis'. > See: > http://www.best.com/~thvv/hodie-natus-est.html Le Hibou (ma propre opinion) -- "People help themselves to things if they think they will get away with it, even things they are unlikely to have much use for and cannot resell, such as traffic cones. In the UK we call these people 'students'." -- Joe Boswell ###### From: slavins.at.hearsay.demon.co.uk@localhost (Simon Slavin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Wed, 06 Oct 1999 22:40:55 +0100 Organization: First Sirian Bank Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: hearsay.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: hearsay.demon.co.uk:194.222.24.177 X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 939246038 nnrp-01:28043 NO-IDENT hearsay.demon.co.uk:194.222.24.177 X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net Lines: 23 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!skynet.be!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!newsfeed.icl.net!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!news.demon.co.uk!demon!hearsay.demon.co.uk!user In article , seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) wrote: > I mourn the passing of Apple's C compiler which gave out famously humorous > error messages, e.g. > "String literal too long - and I gave you 512 characters (ANSI only > requires 509)" > (I got that wrong, but the sense is right.) There was a list of those somewhere on the net. They were wonderful. My favourite was something like "Can't coerce pointer into unsigned integer. See last paragraph of Page 74 of K&R revision 2. I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you." Simon. -- http://www.hearsay.demon.co.uk | John Peel: No junk email please. | [My daughter] has modelled herself on you. | Courtney Love: | Oh, I'm so sorry. ###### Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: Terry Kennedy Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) X-Newsreader: TIN [UNIX 1.3 unoff BETA 970527; i386 BSD/OS 3.1] X-Complaints-To: Email abuse@spc.edu if this posting is inappropriate NNTP-Posting-Host: spcunb.spc.edu Organization: St. Peter's College, US Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> X-Trace: spcuna.spc.edu 939285754 4371 terry [192.107.46.132] Date: Thu, 7 Oct 1999 08:42:35 GMT Lines: 9 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news.new-york.net!news.spc.edu!not-for-mail Simon Slavin writes: > There was a list of those somewhere on the net. They were wonderful. See http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/cerrors.html for the article in question. Terry Kennedy Operations Manager, Academic Computing terry@spcvxa.spc.edu St. Peter's College, Jersey City, NJ USA +1 201 915 9381 (voice) +1 201 435-3662 (FAX) ###### From: gsc@zip.com.au (Sean Case) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 21:29:16 +1000 Organization: Marginal Lines: 22 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <37FC062B.5A9553BA@loudoun.com> <37FC75B9.FC33C957@inthan.be> NNTP-Posting-Host: 61.8.12.131 X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.3.5 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newscore.univie.ac.at!skynet.be!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!intgwpad.nntp.telstra.net!news1.optus.net.au!optus!newsfeed.zip.com.au!the-fly.zip.com.au!gsc In article <37FC75B9.FC33C957@inthan.be>, Donald Fisk wrote: > Robert & Debbie Fetter wrote: > > Bernie Greenberg: > > HODIE NATUS EST RADICI FRATER > > today is born the brother of the root > 'radix' is third declension, so its genitive should > be 'radicis'. Indeed; what you have there is a dative. "Today a brother is born to the root," roughly speaking. Sean Case -- Sean Case gsc@zipworld.com.au Code is an illusion. Only assertions are real. ###### From: Digital.Magic@cadvision.com (John W Hall) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source codecomments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 02:32:58 GMT Message-ID: <37fc04c6.222613503@news.cadvision.com> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews. net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcq1d$nfl$1@news.igs.net> <37f9f56f@news1.jps.net> X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.11/32.235 NNTP-Posting-Host: 207.148.138.206 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 207.148.138.206 X-Trace: 6 Oct 1999 20:33:57 -0700, 207.148.138.206 Organization: CADVision Development Corporation (http://www.cadvision.com/) Lines: 15 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 204.50.1.43 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!naxos.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!newspump.monmouth.com!newspeer.monmouth.com!nntp.abs.net!nntp.cadvision.com!news.cadvision.com!207.148.138.206 Error: Should not Occur (IBM 1410 IIRC) or:- Add B423 Error: Cannot add B423, it already exists. (Thinks- strange, it should not, but if I delete it I can then add it) Del B423 Error: Cannot delete B423, it does not exist. (Several instances like this over the past 35 years). ###### From: Digital.Magic@cadvision.com (John W Hall) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source codecomments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 02:40:27 GMT Message-ID: <37fc0720.223215797@news.cadvision.com> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews. net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcq1d$nfl$1@news.igs.net> <37f9f56f@news1.jps.net> X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.11/32.235 NNTP-Posting-Host: 207.148.138.206 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 207.148.138.206 X-Trace: 6 Oct 1999 20:41:27 -0700, 207.148.138.206 Organization: CADVision Development Corporation (http://www.cadvision.com/) Lines: 8 X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 204.50.1.43 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news.idt.net!nntp.cadvision.com!news.cadvision.com!207.148.138.206 This was a non-error message, but quite startling the first time it happened... In the early 80s I built a phoneme/text-to-speech device from a Circuit Cellar kit. (Ah, those were the days!) On completion I powered it up and from this black box (literally) a disembodied 'voice' growled "Ready". ###### From: slavins.at.hearsay.demon.co.uk@localhost (Simon Slavin) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 22:06:18 +0100 Organization: First Sirian Bank Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: hearsay.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: hearsay.demon.co.uk:194.222.24.177 X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 939330360 nnrp-11:12566 NO-IDENT hearsay.demon.co.uk:194.222.24.177 X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net Lines: 28 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!newsfeed.icl.net!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!news.demon.co.uk!demon!hearsay.demon.co.uk!user In article <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net>, jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote: > The message that always made JMF chuckle > was the one put out by MACRO-10. After a successful assembly, > it would say > > No errors detected It just occurred to me that you probably know the person who wrote that. My teacher (if he's still alive) has a bone to pick with him or her: we wasted almost 30 minutes of a Computer Science class arguing whether it was an error message or not. I wrote a really cool sorting program in MACRO-10 for an A-level project: you typed in a line of characters and it sorted them into ASCII order on a VDU screen as you watched, moving the cursor left and right as the program went through the characters. I think I had four different sorting methods in the program before I lost interest in it. The teacher liked it so much he used it to teach the following year's students about sorting. Simon. -- http://www.hearsay.demon.co.uk | John Peel: No junk email please. | [My daughter] has modelled herself on you. | Courtney Love: | Oh, I'm so sorry. ###### From: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 8 Oct 1999 03:34:22 GMT Organization: The National Capital FreeNet Lines: 9 Message-ID: <7tjonu$oi2@freenet-news.carleton.ca> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> Reply-To: ab528@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) NNTP-Posting-Host: freenet5.carleton.ca X-Given-Sender: ab528@freenet5.carleton.ca (Heinz W. Wiggeshoff) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newsfeed-zh.ip-plus.net!news.ip-plus.net!News.Amsterdam.UnisourceCS!newshunter!cosy.sbg.ac.at!news-feed.inet.tele.dk!bofh.vszbr.cz!nntp.primenet.com!nntp.frontiernet.net!nntp.gctr.net!news.frontiernet.net!xcski.com!freenet-news.carleton.ca!FreeNet.Carleton.CA!ab528 Victor Eijkhout (eijkhout@prancer.cs.utk.edu) writes: > > The IBM Fortran G (or H?) compiler would state "none of the errors found". I was a heavy user of both of those compilers from 70 to 82, and I don't recall seeing that mirthful message. Perhaps IBM's translators for non-English users bug-erd it up? ###### From: jmfbahciv@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Fri, 08 Oct 99 10:24:35 GMT Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc. Lines: 45 Message-ID: <7tkoe9$bva$3@autumn.news.rcn.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> X-Trace: YLP8Bbp17lm7iD0mM/tGRoK/l5MAfcSaEd4PA5kq9Cg= X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 8 Oct 1999 12:35:21 GMT X-Newsreader: News Xpress Version 1.0 Beta #4 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.enteract.com!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!d4 In article , slavins.at.hearsay.demon.co.uk@localhost (Simon Slavin) wrote: >In article <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net>, >jmfbahciv@aol.com wrote: > >> The message that always made JMF chuckle >> was the one put out by MACRO-10. After a successful assembly, >> it would say >> >> No errors detected > >It just occurred to me that you probably know the person who >wrote that. I can't remember who was attributed as the author. A quick look at the TITLE statement might give a clue. One of the things that have facinated me is how an assembler written using itself got started :-). Just think of all that toggling. >My teacher (if he's still alive) has a bone to >pick with him or her: we wasted almost 30 minutes of a Computer >Science class arguing whether it was an error message or not. We classified as an informational message. It was the most correct message that could have been output :-). > >I wrote a really cool sorting program in MACRO-10 for an A-level >project: you typed in a line of characters and it sorted them >into ASCII order on a VDU screen as you watched, moving the >cursor left and right as the program went through the characters. >I think I had four different sorting methods in the program >before I lost interest in it. The teacher liked it so much he >used it to teach the following year's students about sorting. There were a lot of cool things done with MACRO. Coupled with DDT, one could almost perform miracles. JMF, at one time, almost started a business whose logo would have been, "Have EDDT, will travel". /BAH Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail. ###### From: Nick Spalding Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Fri, 08 Oct 1999 11:24:30 +0100 Organization: Ireland On-Line Lines: 14 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> Reply-To: spalding@iol.ie NNTP-Posting-Host: dialup-0166.dublin.iol.ie Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.4.0 X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.7/32.529 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news-fra1.dfn.de!news0.de.colt.net!colt.net!iol.ie!iol!not-for-mail Simon Slavin wrote: > I wrote a really cool sorting program in MACRO-10 for an A-level > project: you typed in a line of characters and it sorted them > into ASCII order on a VDU screen as you watched, moving the > cursor left and right as the program went through the characters. > I think I had four different sorting methods in the program > before I lost interest in it. The teacher liked it so much he > used it to teach the following year's students about sorting. Such a program is among the demo stuff that comes with VB for DOS. Fun to watch. -- Nick Spalding ###### From: David Scheidt Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 11 Oct 1999 23:34:11 GMT Organization: EnterAct Corp. Lines: 15 Message-ID: <7tts5j$1qpn$1@news.enteract.com> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <900DA7BCD8E00C67.FCB7DBAD812D012D.14A8A71EEFF29D28@lp.airnews.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: shell-3.enteract.com X-Trace: news.enteract.com 939684851 60215 207.229.143.42 (11 Oct 1999 23:34:11 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@news.enteract.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 11 Oct 1999 23:34:11 GMT User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-19990624 ("Dawnrazor") (UNIX) (FreeBSD/3.3-STABLE (i386)) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!enews.sgi.com!paloalto-snf1.gtei.net!news.gtei.net!pulsar.dimensional.com!dimensional.com!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!newsfeed.enteract.com!betanews.enteract.com!not-for-mail Timothy J. Bogart wrote: : Hmmm, strings on the sysback tree or the OS? I ran strings on a bit of code today, trying to figure out where the configuration file was. I found a couple nifty error messages along the lines of "Error: %s. Your pay has been docked one twinkie." We were quite ammused. David -- dscheidt@enteract.com This procedure presumably relies on some kind of electromagnetic transmission (since magic isn't an option). -- Alice Faber ###### From: tjb@starbase.neosoft.com (Timothy J. Bogart) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 12 Oct 1999 06:22:39 GMT Organization: NeoSoft, Inc. +1 713 968 5800 Lines: 22 Message-ID: <1780BF9753A2F908.2F64979F6059026D.338F05A201A1F9C6@lp.airnews.net> X-Orig-Message-ID: <7tuk3f$vmg@library2.airnews.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <900DA7BCD8E00C67.FCB7DBAD812D012D.14A8A71EEFF29D28@lp.airnews.net> <7tts5j$1qpn$1@news.enteract.com> Abuse-Reports-To: abuse at airmail.net to report improper postings NNTP-Proxy-Relay: library2.airnews.net NNTP-Posting-Time: Tue Oct 12 01:22:39 1999 NNTP-Posting-Host: !e/KA1k-WR>FrE- (Encoded at Airnews!) X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test60 (5 October 1997) Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!enews.sgi.com!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!nntp2.giganews.com!news.airnews.net!cabal10.airnews.net!cabal1.airnews.net!news-f.iadfw.net!not-for-mail In article <7tts5j$1qpn$1@news.enteract.com>, David Scheidt wrote: >Timothy J. Bogart wrote: > >: Hmmm, strings on the sysback tree or the OS? > >I ran strings on a bit of code today, trying to figure out where the >configuration file was. I found a couple nifty error messages along the >lines of "Error: %s. Your pay has been docked one twinkie." We were quite >ammused. > >David > >-- >dscheidt@enteract.com >This procedure presumably relies on some kind of electromagnetic >transmission (since magic isn't an option). -- Alice Faber Eeek! Please tell me that was on sysback, and not the OS?!? ###### From: jmfbahciv@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: Wed, 13 Oct 99 09:33:45 GMT Organization: UltraNet Communications, Inc. Message-ID: <7u1rcc$e5g$3@autumn.news.rcn.net> References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> X-Trace: pZfyD0D/z9lB9IV5QOAD2jtkVmmqRg8SX3JxJkp6Iek= X-Complaints-To: abuse@rcn.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 13 Oct 1999 11:45:16 GMT X-Newsreader: News Xpress Version 1.0 Beta #4 Lines: 24 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!netnews.globalip.ch!news-lond.gip.net!news.gsl.net!gip.net!dispose.news.demon.net!demon!feed1.news.rcn.net!rcn!d16 In article , Teppo Peltonen wrote: > >jmfbahciv@aol.com writes: > >> was the one put out by MACRO-10. After a successful assembly, >> it would say >> >> No errors detected > >Not really an error message, but it really puts me off when >Microsoft's C++ compilers says 'No relevant changes detected' after >I've been furiously banging the keyboard for an hour or two and then >hit the compile button. No changes? Huh! How encouraging. > >(Nah, MS just keeping the good tradition alive. Ofcourse, the message >is technically correct.) Bug fixes aren't relavent??!?!?!?? I know what you meant, but I just couldn't resist the implication of the post :-)). /BAH Subtract a hundred and four for e-mail. ###### From: Teppo Peltonen Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Date: 13 Oct 1999 14:04:51 +0300 Organization: Helsinki University of Technology, Finland Lines: 18 Message-ID: References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcoip$br2$7@autumn.news.rcn.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: kitara.hut.fi Mime-Version: 1.0 (generated by tm-edit 7.106) Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII X-Trace: nntp.hut.fi 939812691 3897 130.233.249.41 (13 Oct 1999 11:04:51 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@nntp.hut.fi NNTP-Posting-Date: 13 Oct 1999 11:04:51 GMT X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.3/Emacs 19.34 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newsfeeds.belnet.be!news.belnet.be!colt.net!newspeer.clara.net!news.clara.net!newsfeed1.swip.net!swipnet!newsfeed3.funet.fi!nntp.hut.fi!not-for-mail jmfbahciv@aol.com writes: > was the one put out by MACRO-10. After a successful assembly, > it would say > > No errors detected Not really an error message, but it really puts me off when Microsoft's C++ compilers says 'No relevant changes detected' after I've been furiously banging the keyboard for an hour or two and then hit the compile button. No changes? Huh! How encouraging. (Nah, MS just keeping the good tradition alive. Ofcourse, the message is technically correct.) Teppo ###### From: diskette@users.leading.net (STD DIALUP) Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers References: <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> <7tcq1d$nfl$1@news.igs.net> <37f9f56f@news1.jps.net> X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] Lines: 12 Message-ID: Date: Tue, 26 Oct 1999 18:05:04 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 207.98.192.82 X-Trace: news1.atlantic.net 940961104 207.98.192.82 (Tue, 26 Oct 1999 14:05:04 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 26 Oct 1999 14:05:04 EDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!netnews.com!newspeer1.nac.net!news-xfer.atlantic.net!news1.atlantic.net!users!diskette Mike Swaim (swaim@gemini.c-com.net) wrote: : A friend who used to work at Compaq told me of a really sophisticated : remote control card they used to make. It had battery backup, and could : dial out and report errors to another machine if the machine crashed or : the power went out. : In it's little mind, taking it out of a computer was the worst possible : thing that could happen, and it'd franticly try to dial out to tell : someone that something REALLY BAD had happened to the system bus. Are you talking about the remote insight board ? If so, they still make them for the proliant server series. ###### Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: ehrice@his.com (Edward Rice) Subject: Re: Really bizarre error messages (was Re: amusing source code comments (was Re: Testing job applicants)) Message-ID: Organization: NDS Date: Thu, 28 Oct 1999 02:05:47 -0400 References: <404BA52C174D3A44.448CF7D0CB8FADCF.1B9EA3344710F012@lp.airnews.net> <7t6smc$qp4$1@uwm.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: pm9-196.his.com Lines: 13 X-Authenticated-User: ehrice Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!remarQ-easT!remarQ.com!supernews.com!news.lightlink.com!news4.his.com!user GCOS would provide the system console with an error message if available core had "dried up" to the point that a job could not be run that the operator wanted run. The message confused many people when they saw it: ***CORE DROUTH When I asked about this, I was told that the restriction on error message length had forced the implementor to misspell "DROUGHT," a word which made a little more sense to me; but the "TH" versus "HT" still rankled. I found out a fair bit later that in the mid-west of the US (the Plains states, in particular), a lack of moisture was actually called a /drouth/.