From: holly@NOSPAMrubyridge.com (NiX) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: an oldie but a goodie! Date: Fri, 12 Feb 1999 14:12:42 GMT Organization: Omen Internet Lines: 99 Message-ID: <36c43687.9062436@news.omen.com.au> NNTP-Posting-Host: ttyes.faroc.com.au Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: newsreader.omen.com.au 918827794 5388 203.15.140.93 (12 Feb 1999 13:56:34 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@omen.net.au NNTP-Posting-Date: 12 Feb 1999 13:56:34 GMT X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.5/32.451 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.belnet.be!news-feed.inet.tele.dk!bofh.vszbr.cz!news.maxwell.syr.edu!news.mel.connect.com.au!news.per.connect.com.au!news.waia.asn.au!demeter.omen.net.au!not-for-mail Genesis Chapter 0 0 In the Beginning Ritchie created the PDP-11 and the UNIX. 1 And the UNIX was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the system programmers. 2 And Ritchie said, "Let there be portability!" And nothing happened, so Ritchie realized that he had his work cut out for him. . . . 25 And Ritchie said to Kernighan, "Let us make C in the image of B, after our own whims: and let it have dominion over the I and the O and all that runneth upon the UNIX," and it was almost, but not quite so... so he realized that he had his work cut out for him again. . . . Chapter 1 0 Thus the PDP-11 and the UNIX were finished, and all the programs in them. 1 And on the seventh shift Ritchie ended his work which he had made; and he would have rested on the seventh shift from all the work which he had made, if it weren't for the system crash. . . . Chapter 2 0 Now the COBOL was more verbose than any language of the PDP-11, and he said unto the programmer, "Yea, hath the Manual said, 'Ye shalt not read of every device of the network?'" 1 And the programmer said unto the COBOL, "We may read of every device of the network: 2 But of the registers of the printer in the midst of the network, the Manual hath said, 'Ye shall not read of it, neither shall ye write to it without proper protocol, lest ye cause a system crash.'" 3 And the COBOL said unto the programmer, "Ye shalt not surely crash the system: 4 For Ritchie doth know that in the time slice ye read thereof, then your I/O shall be opened, and ye shalt be as system operators, accessing locked accounts with unlimited privileges." 5 And then when the programmer saw that the printer was good for interfacing, and that it was pleasant to the I (and to the O),... 6 And they realized they were unstructured, so they patched RATFOR subroutines... . . . The Gospel According to Chai 0 And the Messiah shalt come, born a mere B but to grow up into the Saviour C, 1 Wherein true structured programming may be achieved, yea, verily, yet while being able to do bit shifting. 2 For although the Law (Pascal) hath been given, the Law cannot for (i=0; str1[i]!='\0'; i++) str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && str1[i]>='Z')? str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; but must i := 0; while (i <= length(str1)) do begin if str1[i] in ['A'..'Z'] then str2[i] := chr( ord(str1[i]) + 32)) else str1[i] := str2[i]; i := i + 1; end; The Revelation 0 Yea, in those last days, the Saviour shalt come again, but enhanced, in the rainment of C++ 1 And then shalt the Beast, FORTRAN, and the AntiC, COBOL, be thrown into the trash HEAP where there is weeping and byting of pins. 2 And all the faithful programmers shalt be led into CRAY where billions of MIPS are at each one's fingertips. Holly (remember this is pretty old guys....just found it amongst my junk and thought it might make someone else smile!) ###### From: "Ambrose, Joseph" Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: an oldie but a goodie! Date: 15 Feb 1999 02:25:16 GMT Organization: JJA & Associates Lines: 114 Message-ID: <7a80ic$1ef@bgtnsc01.worldnet.att.net> References: <36c43687.9062436@news.omen.com.au> NNTP-Posting-Host: 12.79.19.111 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.5 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.3110.3 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!wn4feed!worldnet.att.net!135.173.83.225!attworldnet!newsadm Smile,? ROTFL! Joseph Ambrose NT Network Administrator / Open VMS System Manager The Conference Board ambrose@conference-board.org ICQ# 13652219 NiX wrote in message <36c43687.9062436@news.omen.com.au>... >Genesis >Chapter 0 >0 In the Beginning Ritchie created the PDP-11 and the UNIX. >1 And the UNIX was without form and void; and darkness was upon >the face >of the system programmers. >2 And Ritchie said, "Let there be portability!" And nothing >happened, so >Ritchie realized that he had his work cut out for him. > . > . > . >25 And Ritchie said to Kernighan, "Let us make C in the image of >B, after >our own whims: and let it have dominion over the I and the O and all >that >runneth upon the UNIX," and it was almost, but not quite so... so he >realized that he had his work cut out for him again. > . > . > . >Chapter 1 >0 Thus the PDP-11 and the UNIX were finished, and all the >programs in them. >1 And on the seventh shift Ritchie ended his work which he had >made; and >he would have rested on the seventh shift from all the work which he >had >made, if it weren't for the system crash. > . > . > . >Chapter 2 >0 Now the COBOL was more verbose than any language of the >PDP-11, and he >said unto the programmer, "Yea, hath the Manual said, 'Ye shalt not >read >of every device of the network?'" >1 And the programmer said unto the COBOL, "We may read of every >device of >the network: >2 But of the registers of the printer in the midst of the >network, the >Manual hath said, 'Ye shall not read of it, neither shall ye write to >it >without proper protocol, lest ye cause a system crash.'" >3 And the COBOL said unto the programmer, "Ye shalt not surely >crash the >system: >4 For Ritchie doth know that in the time slice ye read thereof, >then your >I/O shall be opened, and ye shalt be as system operators, accessing >locked >accounts with unlimited privileges." >5 And then when the programmer saw that the printer was good for >interfacing, and that it was pleasant to the I (and to the O),... >6 And they realized they were unstructured, so they patched >RATFOR >subroutines... > . > . > . >The Gospel According to Chai >0 And the Messiah shalt come, born a mere B but to grow up into >the >Saviour C, >1 Wherein true structured programming may be achieved, yea, >verily, yet >while being able to do bit shifting. >2 For although the Law (Pascal) hath been given, the Law cannot > for (i=0; str1[i]!='\0'; i++) str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && >str1[i]>='Z')? > str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; >but must > i := 0; > while (i <= length(str1)) do > begin > if str1[i] in ['A'..'Z'] then > str2[i] := chr( ord(str1[i]) + 32)) > else > str1[i] := str2[i]; > i := i + 1; > end; > >The Revelation >0 Yea, in those last days, the Saviour shalt come again, but >enhanced, in >the rainment of C++ >1 And then shalt the Beast, FORTRAN, and the AntiC, COBOL, be >thrown into >the trash HEAP where there is weeping and byting of pins. >2 And all the faithful programmers shalt be led into CRAY where >billions >of MIPS are at each one's fingertips. > > >Holly >(remember this is pretty old guys....just found it amongst my junk and >thought it might make someone else smile!) ###### From: Karri Kalpio Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: an oldie but a goodie! Date: 16 Feb 1999 10:04:53 +0200 Organization: Clinet, Espoo, Finland. Lines: 25 Message-ID: References: <36c43687.9062436@news.omen.com.au> NNTP-Posting-Host: batcave.moremagic.com [194.100.11.165] X-Newsreader: Gnus v5.5/Emacs 20.2 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!feed2.news.luth.se!luth.se!news-peer-europe.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!Sprint!newsfeed1.swip.net!swipnet!newsfeed2.funet.fi!130.233.224.42.MISMATCH!nntp.hut.fi!news.cs.hut.fi!news.clinet.fi!not-for-mail holly@NOSPAMrubyridge.com (NiX) writes: > 2 For although the Law (Pascal) hath been given, the Law cannot > for (i=0; str1[i]!='\0'; i++) str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && > str1[i]>='Z')? > str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; Shouldn't this be for (i=0; str1[i]!='\0'; i++) str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && str1[i]<='Z')? str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; ? Also, why not for (i=0; str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && str1[i]<='Z')? str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; i++); --karri -- You have moved your mouse, for these : Karri Kalpio changes to take effect you must shut : karri@moremagic.com down and restart your computer. Do you : [+358] (9) 7017131 (home) want to restart your computer now? : [+358] (9) 43543665 (work) ###### Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: an oldie but a goodie! References: <36c43687.9062436@news.omen.com.au> Organization: Plethora . Net - More net, less spam! X-Newsreader: trn 4.0-test70 (17 January 1999) From: seebs@plethora.net (Peter Seebach) Lines: 32 Message-ID: <76iy2.1818$k22.89735@ptah.visi.com> Date: Tue, 16 Feb 1999 17:42:27 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 205.166.146.8 X-Trace: ptah.visi.com 919186947 205.166.146.8 (Tue, 16 Feb 1999 11:42:27 CDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 16 Feb 1999 11:42:27 CDT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!newscore.univie.ac.at!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!chippy.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!ptah.visi.com!not-for-mail In article , Karri Kalpio wrote: >holly@NOSPAMrubyridge.com (NiX) writes: >> 2 For although the Law (Pascal) hath been given, the Law cannot >> for (i=0; str1[i]!='\0'; i++) str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && >> str1[i]>='Z')? >> str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; >Shouldn't this be > for (i=0; str1[i]!='\0'; i++) str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && str1[i]<='Z')? > str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; >Also, why not >for (i=0; str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && str1[i]<='Z')? str1[i]+32 : str1[i]; i++); Well, honestly, if you actually wanted it to work, it'd be while (*str1) *str2++ = tolower(*str1++); because it's always better to write clearly. (This coming from an IOCCC judge.) -s -- Copyright 1999, All rights reserved. Peter Seebach / seebs@plethora.net C/Unix wizard, Pro-commerce radical, Spam fighter. Boycott Spamazon! Send me money - get cool programs and hardware! No commuting, please. Visit my new ISP --- More Net, Less Spam!