From: mark@cosmicpenguin.com (Mark S Bilk) Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art Subject: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. References: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit User-Agent: slrn/0.9.5.7 (UNIX) Lines: 2977 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 12.234.96.106 X-Complaints-To: abuse@attbi.com X-Trace: rwcrnsc51.ops.asp.att.net 1010751697 12.234.96.106 (Fri, 11 Jan 2002 12:21:37 GMT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 12:21:37 GMT Organization: AT&T Broadband Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 12:21:37 GMT Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!skynet.be!skynet.be!news-out.visi.com!hermes.visi.com!nnxp1.twtelecom.net!news-east.rr.com!wn2feed!worldnet.att.net!204.127.198.204!attbi_feed4!attbi.com!rwcrnsc51.ops.asp.att.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26878 Apparently drsquare's newsreader or ISP folded this epic at about column 74, and also removed leading spaces in the folded bits. The scene in Bill Gates' garden was the most difficult to restore, and I'm not sure every detail there is correct. I also put a one-space right margin in some of the unfolded speech balloons, and replaced the few tabs with spaces. Hopefully slrn and my ISP won't mess it up again. Thanks, drsquare -- one of these makes up for a lot of bs! ------------------------------------------------------------ The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. Best viewed in font: -misc-fixed-medium-r-normal--20-200-75-75-c-100-iso8859-1 or fixedsys. Best viewed with black text on a light grey background, but can also be viewed with any dark-on-light combination. Must not be viewed with light on dark, as many things will look wrong. If you are using a non-fixed-width font, then you will be miserable for the rest of the episode. Make sure your window is wider than 80 characters (we don't want any wrapping). Part 1: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE ACTIVATION CODE In ancient times, the OSes of power were crafted, and Gates, the Dark Lord, forged the One Activation Code, filling it with his own power so that he could rule all the market... _____________ | || | | | | ||__| | | | |_________| | | | | Windows XP | | activation | | code | | | |_____________| But at the last alliance of Unix and VMS, the One Activation Code was taken from him. ###### ([.][.]) | _\ | | .--. | ___\____/___ / | \ The Dark Lord was not best | \___|____ | pleased, and his mummy \ \_____/ \/ had to buy him out another |\________\/ | competitor just to stop | | | him crying. | | | |______|_____| | | | | | | The code was eventually lost, until one day ____ it was discovered by __/____\ a man named Gary Stewart. |O\/O| | / | __|'-' |__ / '--' \ / /| |\ \ _____/ / | || | \\_(_\/ | || | \___\ | || | Unfortuanetly, Gary Stewart had mischevious _____________ intentions, and he used | ___________ | ____ the code to play tricks || || /____\__ on his family, crashing || B S O D || |O\/O| their computers and || || | \ | *snigger* costing them lots of ||Windows XP || __|'--'|__ money in licencing fees. ||___________||/ '--' \ |_____________| His grandmother eventually __/___\__ kicked him out of the house, and he went to live under a canal bridge where no-one would find him. ___________ .' \ | '. He lived on a diet of | \ | | meths and used condoms | \ o | fished out of the canal, |\ \_()\ | and became wary and | \ |\/ \ | scared of the outside ____| \ |\ \|___ world. He slowly evolved \ \ into the creature known \ \ today as "flatfish". One day, a young penguin called Tux went for a walk by the .--. canal. He got lost under a bridge, : O_O: .======. and fumbling about in the dark he : <_>: : :/{ found a strange activation code. .'.' ':. |8- - - - { :_: :: : :\{ He was found by Flatfish, who ___| | | |____ '======' promised to show him the way \_|--|_/ out if he beat him in a game | of riddles... .------------'-----------. | What has security as | | nobody sees, | | Instability and crashes | | it guarentees, | | More and more bloated | | it does become, | | Yet not a better product | | is ever the outcome? | '------------------------' .-----------. .--. | Easy! | : O_O: | Windows XP, | .======. : <_>: ----| I suppose! | : :/{ .'.' ':. '-----------' .- |8- - - - { :_: :: | : :\{ ____| | | |____ | '======' \_|--|_/ | .---'------------------------. | Sssss....the penguin guesses | | well, it does my precious. | | We will show it the way out. | '----------------------------' And so Tux escaped with the code. Then, many years later, Tux was paid a visit: ____ __|____|__ ()-()-) .----------------. |/_ | | Hello Linus! | |--. | -------. | What brings you | __\__/___ \ | here? | / | \ .---'--------------. '-----.----------' | | | | It's about your | \ || o | | | activation code. | \ || | | | | It is evil and | \ || o | | | must be destroyed. | \ \| | \/ / '------------------' .--. | o \/| : O_O: | | | : <_>: | o | .'.' ':. | | | :_: :: |___|_____| ____________| | | |___________(__|_(__|__________ \_|--|_/ .---------------------------. | It was forged in Redmond | .------------------. | by the Dark Lord. He wants | | OK, I'm convinced. | | it back so he can complete | | I'll just get my | | his dominion of the desktop.| | sledgehammer out. | | | '---------.--------' | The only way we can stop | | | him getting hold of it is | | | to destroy it. | | '-------------------.-------' | | | ________ | | | | | | ____|________|____ | ____ (--( )--( ) | .' '. | \ | | : ~ ~ : | _\ | __/ : O__O : \ .--- | : <__> : ____\_____/____ : : : : / | \ : : : : / | \ : : : : | | | _:_: :__:_ | | | | | | | | | | | O | | | | | | | | | | | \ |----| / | | | | | \__| |__/ .---------------------------. | I'm afraid Activation | _____________ | Code XP is incompatible | _________|____________ | | with your sledgehammer. | | ___________ |vation || | The Dark Lord has cunningly | ______ ||Fatal error||ode || | changed the format, so |----- _____ ||| ||orrect || | you'll need a proprietary | ||||Only 2GB of||________|| | hammer. The only way to | ense ||||Ram. ||_________| | destroy the Code is to | ||||___________||_/__\___ | travel to Redmond and cast | ired |||_____________| Doom | it into the Blue Screens of | _____|| ___/___\___ Of | Doom. | ______| Blue Screens '---------------------------' _\___ The ____ __|____|__ ()-()-) .---------------------. |/_ | | OK, I'll go, although | |--. | -------. | I do not know the way.| __\__/___ \ '----.----------------' / | \ .---'--------------. \ | | | | Just travel East | \ || o | | | until you reach | \ || | | | | T Max Devlin's | \ || o | | | mother's basement. | \ \| | \/ / | There he will tell | .--. | o \/| | you what to do | : O_O: | | | | next. | : <_>: | o | '------------------' .'.' ':. | | | :_: :: |___|_____| ____________| | | |___________(__|_(__|__________ \_|--|_/ Meanwhile: Microsoft HQ, Redmond. | _____ { } )__ | | ) { } ___) | ___ } ______ ____) { < o > } __( )_ { """ | ( ) { } } (__ __) | | | | (________) { { } } { | | { } } { { | | \ { | | } \ .------------------. { { | \_| Alas, my empire | | } } | is under threat... | { | } } '------------------' { { { | } { | { | } | | | } } | { | | | { { } } { | } } { | } } | | } } | | | } | } | | | | | | | | } } / { { ___| } \ { { | |###|} } } { | |###| } | \ __ __{ { { |###|| | }_ ___ ' / / / \\ \ ' Inside: .-----------------------. ____________________ | There has been news | | |\/\/\/\/| | | that The Activation | | | | | | Code has been found, | | |________| | | apparently by a strange | | ([.][.]) | | creature from the land | | | /\ | | ------| of "Finland". | | | .--. | | | | | ____\____/____ | | If this Code falls into | | .' \__/ '. | | the wrong hands, my | | | | | | | power will fade, and my | | | | o | | | | mighty empire will | | | | | | | | | crumble. | / | | o | | \ '-----------------------' / / .' | '. \ \ / /_ / | o | \ _\ \ / / _\/|_____|____|\/_ \ \ / //// / / ______ \ \ \\\\ \ /______/ / / \ \ \______\ | |/ /________\ \| | | | | | | | |_______| | | |_______| | | | | | | | |__| |__| | | (___) (___) | | | |____________________________| .-----------------------. ____________________ | I must recapture the | | |\/\/\/\/| | | code. I will send out | | | | | | my Nine Wintrolls to | | |________| | | hunt down and capture | | ([^][^]) | | the bearer. | | | /\ | | ------| | | | ---- | | | Then they can bring me | | ____\____/____ | | back the code, and I can| | .' \__/ '. | | complete my dominion. | | | | | | '-----------------------' | | | o | | | | | | | | | | / | | o | | \ / / .' | '. \ \ / /_ / | o | \ _\ \ / / _\/|_____|____|\/_ \ \ / //// / / ______ \ \ \\\\ \ /______/ / / \ \ \______\ | |/ /________\ \| | | | | | | | |_______| | | |_______| | | | | | | | |__| |__| | | (___) (___) | | | |____________________________| And so the Nine Wintrolls, previously enslaved by the power of Windows 3.1, set out to find the one who possessed the code. .-------------------. | Ve must track down | ________ | ze evil Code Bearer | / _____ \ | and bring him to | ///__ __\\\ | ze Dark Lord. | / /|. \/. |\ \ '--.----------------' |||#| /_ |#||| / | |#| ## |#| | -----' ___ ________ |||#| .--. |#| | / \ / ______ \ | |##\____/##||| .-------------------'--. ///__.__.\ \ | \########/ | | Not with you in charge | | |.O . O. ||| / \ \######/ \ | Funkybreath, you're | | |. /_. . | | / \####/ | \ \ | useless. | ||| . . . .| | | | \##/ | | And why do we have to | | |. .--.. ||| | \ \#/ | | | | wear these stupid | | \______/ | | | \ | | cloaks? This one rubs | | \####/ | | \ \ | | | on my spots and it / / \##/ \ \ | | | | | | hurts. / / / \# \ | | | | '--------------------' / | \ \ \ | | | | | | | / / | | | | | | | | | \ | .-----------------------. | Silence Schizam. Ve | | vear these cloaks so | | no-one vill recognise | ________ | uz in public with Shawn | / _____ \ | Grant. | ///__ __\\\ '----.------------------' / /| .\/ .|\ \ / |||#| /_ |#||| / | |#| ## |#| | -----' ________ |||#| .--. |#| | .--------------------. / ______ \ | |##\____/##||| | Good point. That | ///__.__.\ \ | \########/ | | would be completely. | | |.O . O. ||| / \ \######/ \ | humiliating. |-- | |. /_. . | | / \####/ | \ \ '--------------------' ||| . . . .| | | | \##/ | | |. .--.. ||| | \ \#/ | | | \ .------------. | \______/ | | | \ | \| That settles | | \####/ | | \ \ | | | it then. | / \##/ \ \ | | | | | '------------' / / \# \ | | | | / | \ \ \ | | | | | | | / / | | | | | | | | | \ | Back in Finland, our hero Tux set out on his quest. .-----------------------------. | This journey will take | __| weeks, and I'm tired already. | . / | I think I'll stop for a rest | {}. / | outside this gay strip club. | / \'..--. / '-----------------------------' \__/ : O_O: : <_>:'. .'.' ': : : : :.'', : : : '.''--:_ ----------|__\__\------- But not long after he stopped, Tux suddenly noticed a mysterious stranger emerge from the club. ____________________ | | | GAY SEX INSIDE!!!! | |____________________| .----------------. | | | | Hello mysterious | | | .---. | | stranger. Who | | | __|___|__ | | are you? | | |(_________) | .----------------. '----------------'\ | | _| |_ -----| My name is not | \ | | // | \ | | important. I | | | ||: | :|o| | am here to guide | .--. | | ||| | || | | you to T Max's | : O_O: / | ||| | || | | basement. | : <_>: | ||| | || | '----------------' .'.' ':: | |(|___|___|) | : : :: | | ( | | ) | : : :: | |__| |_| |___| '.''__:: |/ | | | | | ------|__\__\-----' (__) (__) '------------------- And so Tux and the stranger carried on the journey. But before long they were suddenly attacked by the .------. ruthless Wintrolls. | RUN!!! | ____ '.-----' //##\\ / __ ||####|| ____ / /_/ ||####|| ___/___/_ | | ||####|| \ .-----------. (_________) | |_____:\####/: \| Come on, ve | _/ /======== \____ / o / \ | can catch | / _____/_// | | o| | | them. | / / | | o| | | '-----------' / / | | o| | | / / | |===| | | / /| | | _| | | / / | | | | | \ | /____ /\_| ..'': | | | | | ____/ / \ ) .' .<> | | | | | | |___/ / / .' .: : *squeek* |_|_| |____| | | /_/_ /\.'.'.' _____________/__|__|__\____________|/______(____)_____\_\_\____________ .---------. ____ | Vot iz ze | //##\\ _ ___ | hold-up? | ||####|| (_)_/___\___ ____ '-------.-' ||####|| / / :_ _: _ |___ \ \______ ||####|| / :o o: (_) |0/0\ \ .----------. _:\####/: \ : \ : \ \|--. || _ | Chad Myers | / / o / \ \ \_.)'-'(. \ \___/ | \_| has stolen | | | o| | \ | \ \ \ | | my hat! | | | o| | : | \ \ | '----------' || | o| | | | | || |\ | || |===| | | | | || | \ | || | _| | | | | |) | | | || | | | | | |____|____| | | :| | | | \ | | | | | | | | | | | | |_| |_| |_____| |_|_| |____| ___(__)_(__)_____(_(__|_____________________________________/__|__|__\__ | | .---'----. | No, it | | is mine! | '--------' .----------------. ____ | Stop ze vhining | //##\\ | Shawn, ve have | ||####|| | to catch ze Code |---- ||####|| | Bearer. | ||####|| | | :\####/: .--------. | Now, let uz go | / \##/ \ -------| Right on | | and catch them, | | \ \# | | Erik! | | OK? | | \ | '--------' '----------------' | \ \ | .---------------. / | | | _____| OK Erik, you're | / | | | | | the boss! | .-----------./ | | | '---------------' | Right, NOW! | | | | '-----------' | | | |_______|__| _________________________________________________________/__|_|__\_____ But: ____ .----------. //##\\ | Shit. They | ||####|| .| have gone. | ||####|| ------' '----------' ||####|| :\####/: / \##/ \ | \ \# | | \ | | \ \ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |_______|__| _______/__|_|__\________________________________________ Tux and the stranger managed to outsmart the Wintrolls and made it to T Max Devlin's home down in his mother's basement. .---. .-------------------. __|___|__ | Now we have reached | (_________) | the Last Homely |---- _| |_ | Basement, I can | / | \ | finally reveal my | |: | :| | identity. | || | || .--. '-------------------' || | || : O_O: || | || : <_>: (|___|___|) .'.' ':. ( | | ) :-: :: | | | | __| | | |_______________________________| |_| |________ \_|--|_/ (__| |__) The stranger turned out to be no other //////()\\ than... : : \\ :<'><'> : : /_ : : - : : : __-- ______________\\//_:_______________ --__ { | __ \/ _ | } {_________|.' / /\/| |_\ \/ '.|_________} : / . / | | \ /\ : .-------. : _ __ : | T Max | : | \ / | | | \ \'. \ : | Devlin! | : | | /-- | | | \ \ '.\: '-----.-' / : |_/ /__ \/ |__ \ \ : | / : : | / :=======================: | / : : .--. | .-----'---. : : : O_O: | The one | : .''', : : <_>: | and only. | : .' '. : .'.' ':. '---------' : : : : :-: :: : : : : | | | | ___| | | |___ \_|--|_/ (_______| |_______) .---------------. | Wow, you really | //////()\\ .---------------. | fooled me, but | : : \\ | I had to keep | | what's with the | :<.><.> : | my identity a | | disguise? | : /_ : | secret so the | '-----------.---' : - : | Wintrolls would | / : : -------| not know who I | / ____\\//_:____ | was. The Dark | .--. / .'' \/ ''. | Lord must not | : O_O: .' . . '. | know of my | : <_>: :___: :___: | existence. | .'.' ':. : : : : '---------------' :_: :: : : : : | | | | : : : : \_|--|_/ : : : : .-------------------. | No, you just didn't | //////()\\ .-----------------. | want anyone to see | :____ : \\ | Shut up! No-one | | you in that gay | :<.><.> : | must ever be told | | strip club! | : /_ : | of this, on pane | '-----------.-------' : - : /| of death! | / : : -----' '-----------------' / ____\\//_:____ .--. / .'' \/ ''. : O_O: .' . . '. : <_>: :___: :___: .'.' ':. : : : : :_: :: : : : : | | | | : : : : \_|--|_/ : : : : .--------------------. | Anyway, we must be | //////()\\ | soon setting off for | :____ : \\ | Redmond. | :<.><.> : '-----------------.--' : /_ : \___ : - : ___ : : \ ____\\//_:____ \ .-----------------. .--. .'' \/ ''. \| I have assembled | : O_O: .' . . '. | a group of men | : <_>: :___: :___: | to assist us on | .'.' ':. : : : : | the quest. I | :_: :: : : : : | present to you... | | | | | : : : : '-----------------' \_|--|_/ : : : : ########## |====__====| |< O>/\< O>| .-----------------. | |__| | | The overweight, | | ______ | | kiwi-warrior, | ---- _______| / \ |_______ | Mathew Gardiner. | /\######|__________|######/\ '-----------------' / \######################/ \ / \####################/ \ / \##################/ \ | |#################| | | |#################| | | |#################| | | |#################| | | |#################| | | |#################| | | |#################| | ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~ -- --~~ .------------------------. ~~ O \O ~~ | The camp Yorkshireman, |__ ~~ ~~ | Mark Kent. | ~~ '-'.~ _ '------------------------' /~~'--' ~\ / |\ / ~~ ~ \/ / \ | ~~ ~\__/ | |~~ | | | | \ | \_______| \ \ | | Oooh-Betty! \| // | | |/ / | | / | | \ | |\__\ |__|_\ | |_____)_| ___ | | ============= | |(|>)...... : .' ~'--'~/ | \ |.__.:: :: .----##''----. ~~ | | |_\'./: O O : .' '. ~~ | | o |||___||: _\ : : \/ \/ : ~ | | | || :'==': : : : : -----| | o ||_____ '____' : : : : |\ \/ | |/ __ ||/ \\ : : : : // / |\/ o ||| ||| \ \_\\_ \:==============:/ |/ / | | ||| |||__\___|_)) \ / |\ \ | o ||| || .---. || \ /\ / | \_\ | | ||| || ::''':: || | / \ | |_ | ||_____|___|||_ ||\::_'_::_|_) __| | | |__ __)|_|_|__)_|__)_|__)|__)'---'_______________(____|____|____)_______ And so the fellowship set out on their journey. But they hadn't gone far when their passage was blocked by a large pile of unsold copies of Windows XP. .-----------------. | Oh shite. What do | ___| we do now? | ____ / '-----------------' |____| -------' |O/\O| ___|.--.|___ /\##|____|##/\ | \########/ | _________ _________ | |########| | |WindowsXP|WindowsXP| | |########| | | | | | |########| | | 500000 | 500000 | (__| |__) | copies | copies | | /\ | _____|___ _____|___ _____|___ | | | | |WindowsXP|WindowsXP|WindowsXP| | ) | ) | | | | | | | | | 500000 | 500000 | 500000 | |--|_ |--|_ | copies | copies | copies | ______|____)|____)______|_________|_________|_________|_________ .----------------------------. ____ __| Don't worry everyone, I have | __|____|__ / | an idea. | (-()-() / '----------------------------' | _\| ___/ | .--| ___\__/__ / | \ | | | | | o || | | | || | | o || \ \/ | |/ |\/ o | | | | | o | | | | |_____|___| _________|__)_|__)_______________ _____ __|_____|__ |#####| |#####| *write* __ __#####__ *scribble* ( )/ \____ || || \sXP| || || || | || | || | | \/| || | _____|___| |)__|___ |WindowsXP| ||dowsXP| | | | | | 500000 | |00000 | | copies |___________|opies | ________________________|_________|_|__|__|__|________|_________ ____ __|____|__ .----------------. (-()-() | That should sort | | _\| | it out. | | .--| ------' '----------------' ___\__/__ / | \ | | | ___________________ | | o || |Wind/ New and /sXP| | | | || | / Improved / | | | o || | 5/ !!! /000 | \ \/ | |/ | / Only /pies | |\/ o | _____|/ £5000 /_ _____|___ | | | |Windo/ per copy!/XP|WindowsXP| | o | | / !!! / | | | | | | 50/ It makes /00 | 500000 | |_____|___| | c/ you fly! /ies | copies | ______|__)_|__)_________|_/__________/______|_________|_________ Soon: .----------------. .----------------------------. | Oh look, Windows | | And it's personally endorsed | #### | XP! And it has | | by Bill Gates! I'll just my | /_ _\ /| fancy colourful | | wallet out! _____________' ( O O ) / | menus! | '---------.----' #### | _\ | / '----------------' \ |o o ) \ O / \____ |/_ | |--|____ __ ___________________ _\-'/_ / ____|.' |Wind/ New and /sXP| / \ | | | | / Improved / | //| |\\ | | | | 5/ !!! /000 | // | |// |_|__| | / Only /pies | () |____// (_|..| _____|/ £5000 /_ _____|___ | __() |||| |Windo/ per copy!/XP|WindowsXP| || || |||| | / !!! / | | || || |||| | 50/ It makes /00 | 500000 | || || ||||_ | c/ you fly! /ies | copies | _|| _|| _______|__)_)___________|_/__________/______|_________|_(__|(__|___ 5 minutes later: ____ __|____|__ .-----------------------. (-()-() | That's sorted that out. | | _\| | And we've made a tidy | | .--| -------| profit out of it. | ___\__/__ '-----------------------' / | \ | | \ ___ | | o | \ /£5/ | | | |\ \__/_ / ___ | | o | \___(_) /£5/ \ \/ | | /__/ |\/ o | ___ __ __ | | | ___ /50/_\_\ _/_/ *gone* | o | _\£5/__/_\\10\/£5/_/ | | |__\10\_\/\£5_\£5\_/20/ |_____|___|\£5\/£5//\/\///\20/_/ ______|__)_|__)__\_/__|£10_|£20|_/£50\__________________________ But: ~~~~~~~ ~~ __ __~~ ~~ O \O ~~ .-----------------------------. ~~ ~~ ______| Don't get your hopes up boys, | ~~ .-..~ | look at that over there. | /~~'--' ~\ '-----------------------------' / ~~ ~ \ ~~ ~\ \___ __ |~~ | \____|--' | | \_______| | | \ | // | | |/ / | | / | | \ | |\__\ |__|_\ | |_____)_| The site was so horrific and terrifying it could give a grown man nightmares. .----------------------. __________ | Well, we've absolutely | |Windows ME| | NO chance of shifting | | | | that lot. | |Unsold | '-------.--------------' | copies | | _____|____ _____|____ | |Windows ME|Windows ME| | | | | | |Unsold |Unsold | .--. | | copies | copies | : O_O: / ____|_____ ____|_____ ____|_____ : <_>: |Windows ME|Windows ME|Windows ME| .'.' ':. | | | | :_: :: |Unsold |Unsold |Unsold | | | | | | copies | copies | copies | _\_|--|_/__________________|__________|__________|__________|______ .-----------------------------. ____ | Alas, the code-bearer is | __|____|__ | correct. No sane person | ()-()-) | would ever go near Windows | |/_ | | ME. We cannot pass this way. |----- |--. | | | __\__/___ | Instead, we must pass through | / | \ | the mines of Bill Gates's | | | | | back garden. | || o | | '-----------------------------' || | | | || o | | \| | \/ / | o \/| | | | | o | | | | |___|_____| ______(__|_(__|_______ ___ .--------------------------. | | | But surely we're thousands | ____ ============= | of miles away from Redmond | __|____|__ | |( || |||~~ ~| | .'. | | | : : :| |:(~---|) | | | | :': | | | : : | | |.'.| | | | | .' '. | | | || || | | ||// |__| |__| _: :_ |_|_| ||_____|| |____| ||\\ |__) |__) \:___:/ |_|_) || || (_|(_| (_|(_| .-----------------------. | This is getting boring. | //////()\\ | Why don't we just use | :____ : \\ | the ISS exploit like | :<.><.> : | everyone else? | : /_ : '-------------.---------' : - : ___ / : : \ / ____\\//_:____ \ .----------------------. .--. / .'' \/ ''. \| You're right. The| : O_O: .' . . '. | password is much| : <_>: :___: :___: | harder to guess than| .'.' ':. : : : : | one would explect from| :_: :: : : : : | a MS product. | | | | | : : : : '----------------------' \_|--|_/ : : : : T Max Devlin got out his laptop and started to hack into the gate. 30 seconds later: __ / | /\ ___ *creak* /_ \/ /\/|/ / \ __ ____ __/\/\/_/ | /_ .'''|________|'''. / \_ /| /\ \ \ / /\ \ | | | / /\ : .''|########|''. : __/\\\ |///\ /\ /\ \| ||/\ : : *>|########|<* : : / /\ \ \|/__ || | /\ | : *.-|########|| * : | /\ _|\ | \ _ | | |: * .-|########|| * :| / | || /\ / \| | | |:' \|########|\ : :| /\ | | | || |: . |########|_\' ::| || | || | |:' ' |########| : :| | | | | |:.'. \|########|/ ' ::| | || | || |: /|########|\ :| | | ________|_ _|_______|: |########| :|_______||_|______________ // | \\ '. | |:: .' '. :| |''.' '.| |.' | | |''.... | | ''.. | |''.... '. | .-------------. |/ ''. '. | | Everybody in! | |\ * '. : | '----------.--' |____ * : : | \ ||_|_| * : : | \ ||_|_| : : | \ _| : :| | |\ :___:| =====|_\ . / | |<| .''. \)'--'| ...... /\| | ': : | | :: / \\'| ' : | | o)(o) : / \\| '.'''..':| : _\ : / / \|/. '. : :| .'| . : /\ /\ |-- : :.' | ==' : / \/ \\_|\` : : .' | ----'\ / /\ \(_\\| : :: :| : \ \\ / / \ \ | : :| .:: \___\\___ _ ____/ / \ \ | : '.:' | \______|__)) | |_____/ / / | : .' | .-'''-. ) | | / / |.. : | | .'''''.: || |_| / / |.: : | | : O :: || /\/ | .' | | '.....':__| ) \ \ |.........' |====| '-...-'__'.'_____________\/_____|____________/_____| The fellowship made their way into Bill's back garden, but it was a very grim and depressing place. ############################################################################### ############################################################################### #######<>#<>################################################################### ##################################################<>#<>######################## ###########{ }############{ }#######################{ }###{ }######## }######{ }#####{ }###{ }###{ }## }#{}#{ .~~~. |[][| | .-| .... / \ .' /\ '. //| |\\ .' # \ #. \\} |// _## / \ '. \| |/ .' # / ## : '. |:':{ \|/____________________|\ / ### |# /|___________||_||____\|/__________ \|/ ||\ / \ /|| |\(_| |_)\ __ _____ \|/ || \/____________\/ ||\|/ } \_______\ _:__:_\|/ #####\_ #| |||_______ _||| || \ |Bill Ga{ |_=| #######\ || ||| # \| ||| || \}_______| ||\/|| ########| \|/ ||/|||________#_|||\|| \|/ :::: || || #######/ ~~~ |\\|||_ |||//| o//. | o: (|--\)\|/ ######/ ~':'~ | \|||/| /|||/#| ////: | |___ | |.\ '''''' ~ - ~ | #\|/ | /_||/ |.-'--'-.__|---.()_____| | / \|/ \|/ /~| |~\|/ \ | |_____| | #/// \\ |.--|| ___ |_|_) \\|-| \ | /______| | /|| || '__'_) / |_) \\ __________||\\/\_ .--.\|/_______|___|/ || ||_____________\____ _____/__||_\_/ \ :'>: (|========|) \ \ __/ / |__) \ .:'':. \|/ \ /\ // \|/ \__/ ______________ \_:: ::___ ||_ ||/ \________ \ ':_.'' \ \|/ /|_/ |_/ \|/ \ |_\\ \____________/ __ / \|/ \|/ \|/ \___________ ____/ / / \ / ____/ / / \|/ \|/ \_________________/ .'. \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ }===' \|/ \|/ ''' ___ .----------------------------. | | | Ooooh...I've been drinking | ============= | too much beer, my bladder's | | |(/ \) | | | did I put me beer? | D D | (___) | D D '----------------.-' |'.'.'.'.'| \_________ |'.=====.'| '..'.'.'..' ________/'-----'\________ /| | | |\ / | | | | \ / | | | | \ / | '. .' | \ | /| '.___________.' |\ | | || || | | || || | | || || | | || || | | || || | '. '. .' .' '. '. .' .' '. '._____________.' .' |'. '. *zip* .' .'| | '. '.__ __.' .' | | '. | .' | | | | | | | '----'----' | | /'\ | ____----------.-----------.---- .' ##<{o} >###| | __|____|__ ____ | |#####################| | ()-()-) |____| |____|#####################|____| |/_ | |O/\O| | |#####################| | |--. | ___|.--.|___ | |#####################| | __\__/___ \##|____|##/\ |____|#####################|____| / | \ \########/ | | |#####################| | | | | |########| | | |#####################| | || o | | |########| | |____|#####################|____| || | | | |########| | | |#####################| | || o | | _| |__) | |#####################| | \| | \/ / | /\ | |____|#####################|____| | o \/| | | | | \ | |#####################| | | | | \ | ) | ) \ | |#####################| | | o | | | |__| |___\__|____|#####################|____|__| | |__|_ |--|_ |--|- | |___|_____| | |____)|____) | (__| (__| | | | .-------------'----. .------------------------'----. | What's that thing | | I'm afraid it's a foe more | | under the archway? | | dangerous and powerful than | '------------------' | has ever been encountered | | before. Yes, I'm afraid it is | | Bill Gates's mother! | '-----------------------------' _______ ( ( ____( ___ )__ ( ( __( ___ __ __ ) \ ( ( ( ___ (_o) (_o) ) .-------------------------. \ ( ( ( ___ ___ )| It's coming, we must run! | \ ( ( ( __ ___ _) '---------------.---------' ' \ ( ( (__ ___ ___) \ . \ ( ( (_________) \ ____ ' \ .:::: \ __|____|__ . . \ :::??? \ (-()-() ' \ :::???: / _\/ . ' . | .:::???:..'' \,--/____/: \ ' | .::::? '.:' .'__\_/____//: \ ' . | .::'.'? ?.:' /_________/_.' \ | .::'? ? .'.:' / / / | ' '| .::'? .'?.:' / o / |_____| .::'?.' ? .:' / / / |=====| .:? .' ? ?:' _/ o / | |______ :: ? ?.:' | \ / / | //// \ ::.? .'.:' | _\___/_/ | | ::.. ?.:' |/ \ \_ __|____________/______________:::::'________________________\__\_________ *stomp* And so the awsome beast chased the fellowship around the garden, until at last they came to a bridge. .---------------. | You lot go, I | | shall fight the | | beast alone. | .----------. '----------.----' | Good idea. | .---------. | .--. '--------.-' | Finewith | | | OK | | | me. | | '-.' | '-------.-' __ / \ | | _|__|_ \ /o///\\ | __ / |__| \_ | '\'| ..... _|__|_ / | \ .--\_-/_ ::o o:: |_=| || | || // # \\ :'=': ||\/|| || : || || |)_|':: || || :| : |: || |[]| ::..__ (|--\) | : | (|========| ||_____()| | | \ | : | \ /\ / | .'..' ]| | |_/ |_|__| ||_ ||_ |_||__||__) |_|_) _______(_|(_|________________________________|__)|__)___'.__.'______|_)_____ __________________________________ .-"" ""-. .-' '-. ,' ', ,' ', / \ / \ ; ; : : : : : : : : Linus came face to face with the monstrosity. MMMMD EDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD EDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD EDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD |EDDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMMMMMDDDDDMMMMMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMMMMDDEEEDDMMMMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMMMDDEE EEDDMMMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMMDDEE EEDDMMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMMMDDEE EEDDMMMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMMDDEE EEDDMMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMMDDEE EEDDMMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMDDEE EEDDMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMDDEE EEDDMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDMMDDEE EEDDMMDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDMDDEE EEDDDDEE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD | EEDDDEE EEDDDE | DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD / EDMMDE EDMMDE \ DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD / EDMMDE __ EDMMDE \ DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMD/ _EDMMDE _DMMD_ EDMMDE_ \DMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMM _DMMMDDDE DMMD EDDDMMMD_ MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM M DMMMMMDDDE DMMMMD EDDDMMMMMD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DMMMMMMMDDE DMMMMMMD EDDMMMMMMMD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DMMMMMMMDE DMMMMMMD EDMMMMMMMD MMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMM DMMMMMMD MMMMMMMDM MMMMMMMMMMM _______MMMMMMMMMM___ DMMMMD______MMMMMMMMMMM___________________MMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|\ DMMMMD\MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|E\ DMMMMD \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|EE\ DMDDMD \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|DED\ MMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|DDDD\ MMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|MDM/\\ MMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|MM/MM\\MMMMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|M/MMMM\\MMMMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|/MMMMMM\\MMMMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|\MMMMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|E\MMMMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|EE\ MMMMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|EEE\ MMM \MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Bill Gates's mother edged its way onto the bridge, but Linus didn't yield. \ \ .----------------. '\ | You cannot pass. | \ '--.-------------' . \ | ' \ \ \ \ ' . \ \ . . | \ __ \ ' | _|__|_ \ . | |__| \ .| / | \ |. . | || | || |_____| || : || |=====| :| : |: | |______ | : | | //// \ | : | | | |_|__| __|____________/_________________(_|(_|_____________________________________ __________________________________ .-"" ""-. .-' '-. ,' ', ,' ', / \ / \ ; ; : : : : : : : : The beast continued onto the bridge, but due to the continuous feasting on pies, biscuits and crisps, was too heavy for it. The bridge collapsed, and the beast fell into the void below. But just as Linus thought he was safe, the beast threw up a giant streak of bacon, and it wrapped around Linus's ankles. Linus was also dragged into the abyss. __________________________ ____________________________ MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM\/\/\__/MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.--------------.MMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|__|MMM-------| Fly you fools! |MM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|__|MMMMMMMMMMM'--------------'MMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM(_|____ | ____|_)MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| : |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM\:_/MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM/_/\_\MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|\MM/\M/|MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM| |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM But his command was in vain, as the rest of the fellowship had already buggered off to safety. They travelled down the river, but when they stopped for a rest, they were assailed by clueless newbies looking for help with Windows XP. .--------------------------. | Why is my computer several| .------------------. | times slower than before? | | Why won't my modem | '------------------------.-' | work under XP? | ____ | '--------.---------' |____| | | |O/\O| | #### | ___|.--.|___ ...... ##### .~~~~~. | | '\'| / /\##|____|##/\ :: :: /_ o ) |_ _ | / .\ -/ | \########/ | : O O : |__ | |'/_' | / \ ___ | |########| | : _\ : \___/ _\.-./_ ||| |\/()_XP| | |########| | :.==.: / | \ / \ |||____|\/ | |########| | ()'____' |. | .| / /| |\ \ ||( | (__| |__) ||/ \\ || | || \ \| |/ / ()| | | | /\ | || \ \_\\_ || | || \/|===|\/ | | | | | | | ||__\___|_)) (|_|___() (| |) | ) ) / | ) | ) | .---. || | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ::''':: || | | | \ |_|_| |__|_|_ | |--|_ |--|_ \::_'_::_|_) _|_|_| | __| | |__ __|____\_\______|___|____)|____)______'---'_______(_(___|__|_/____|____\__ | | .-'----------. .--------------'---. | Oh no, we're | | Why do none of my | | trapped! | | expensive programs | '------------' | run anymore? | '-------------------' It looked like it was all over for the fellowship. But luckily, T Max Devlin and the Codebearer managed to sneak off... .----------------------------. | I'm telling you, you should | | let ME have the Activation | | Code. I can hide it in my | | mother's basement where even | | Bill wouldn't dare to go. It | //////()\\ | is the only sensible option. | : : \\ '-------------------------.--' :<.><.> : \_____ : /_ : .----------------------. : - : | No, you'll just use it | : : | to activate Windows XP | ____\\//_:____ .--. _| on your own computer. | .'' \/ ''. : O_O: / | I don't trust you T | .' . . '. : <_>: ____/ | Max Devlin. I shall | :___: :___: .'.' ':. | keep the code. | : : : : :_: :: '----------------------' : : : : | | | | : : : : \_|--|_/ : : : : .----------------------------. //////()\\ | Oh come on, relieve yourself | :____ : \\ | of your burden. You know you | :<>><>> : | want to. As for an excuse, |______ : /_ : | you can tell the others I | : - : | took it from you. Tell them | : : | I was too fat for you. / ____\\//_:____ .--. | For I am too fat for you / .'' \/ ''. : O_O: | penguin! / .' . . '. : <_>: '-------------------------' :___: :___: .'.' ':. : : : : :_: :: : : : : | | | | : : : : \_|--|_/ : : : : And with that, T Max Devlin chased after Tux to get the activation code. //////()\\ .----------------------. :____ : \\ | ROAR!!! I'm coming for | :<>><>> : | you penguin!!! | : /_ : '----------------------' \_____ : ___ : :'---' : __-- ______________\\//_:_______________ --__ { | \/ | } {_________|.' '.|_________} : : : : .-----------. : : | Oh crickey! | : : | I'm off! | : : '--------.--' : : | :=======================: / : : .--. : : :O_O : : .''', : :<_> : : .' '. : .'.. '. : : : : :.: : : '. : : : : __: : :'.' ___| | | |___ \_:..:/__\ (_______| |_______) But T Max was too fat, and too slow, and Tux managed to escape. .-------------------. He saw this as a good opportunity | Hmmm... I need to | to break from the fellowship and __| get accross this | to continue alone. / | river. I think I'll | .--. / | try flying accross. | :O_O : -' '-------------------' :<_> : ................................'.' ':.............................. :-: :: | | | | ...................... \_|--|_/ '''''''...... --- --- '''''.... ---- --- --- '''.. --- ---. '. '. ---- ---- ---- ' '. '. --- --- - '. '. ...................... --. '. '. '. '''''.... ' ' '''.. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. . '. '. '. '. '. '. Unfortuanetly, penguins cannot fly. Fortuanetly, they are excellent swimmers. Tux managed to swim across the river. Meanwhile, on the other side of the river, T Max Devlin .----------------------------. was having problems... | Alas, I am out of food, and | | if I don't get any shortly | | I shall die of malnutrition. | '---------------.------------' | | | | ...''''''''... | .'|| ''. | .' || '. | .' || '. .'. .' || '. ..... .'. | : || : ..'' _ ''\ | | |_______: || << | |\ .| \\ | |_________: || : _ \\ | || / | .| \\ | || /\ / | - \\ ____ |____________________||__________/ \./_____|........''\\()=====- / / .___ _____/ / :'' ' / '.___._______.' But no food came, and T Max Devlin died of malnutrition. He was given a quick funeral and buried under a rock. Part 2: THE TWO REINSTALLS Tux had not gone far when he started to hear strange sounds and voices. .------------. .-----------------------. __| Ssssss...the | | What on earth was that? | | precious is | '---.-------------------' | near.... | / '------------' / *creak* / .--. / _______________ *slop* :O_O : / \ :<_> : / \ \ .'.' ':. / \ \ :-: :: / \ \ | | | | / \____ \_________________\_|--|_/______/ .-------------------------. | Hmmm...it's probably just | | the wind. I'll carry on. | *squeek* '--.----------------------' / / *splash* .--. / _______________ :O_O : / \ :<_> : / \ \ .'.' ':. / \ \ :-: :: / \ \ | | | | / \____ \_________________\_|--|_/______/ ___ \ .--'---------------------------. | Ssss....Cautious, my precious. | .--. | We musstn't rissk our tank, | : O_O: | musst we, precious? No, | : <_>: | precious. | .'.' ':. '------------------------------' :-: :: | |__| | *creak* ____\_|__|_/___ / \ *splutter* / | \ \ / | \ \ / .------'----. \ \ / | There it is | \____ \_______________________________/ | again! | '-----------' Tux knew who it was. He'd been following the fellowship for weeks, always just out of sight, but not out of sound. Tux could recognise that awful, snivelling voice anywhere. Just as he was about to run, the foul creature came into view... .-----------------------------------. | Ssss...there it is! We have found | | the thief! The thief Tux, it took | | our Precious. We hates it! Hates it | | forever! Ssss.... | .---------. '----------.------------------------' | Oh, hello | | | Flatfish. | | '.--------' | / | .--. / :O_O : / ________________ :<_> : | __ | .'.' ':. | }<__8 | :-: :: | | | |__| | |________________| ____\_|__|_/___ | ______________ | / \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \____ \____()______________()_________/ .----------------------------------------. | It talks. The dirty little thief talks, | | my precious. What does it want? What has | | it got in its featherses, eh? What shall | | we do to it precious? We will strangle | | it in its sleep. Praps we will, eh | .--------------------. | precious? Yessss, we will... | | No, you won't. And | '----------------------------------------' | stop saying such | | | dreadful things | | .--. | about me, or I shall| :O_O : -| push your tankover. | ________________ :<_> : '--------------------' | __ | .'.' ':. | }<__8 | :-: :: | | | |__| | |________________| ____\_|__|_/___ | ______________ | / \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \____ \____()______________()_________/ .-----------------------------------------. | No, don't hurt us. Don't let it hurt us | | precious! It won't hurt us, will it, nice | | little penguin! We didn't mean it no harm,| | but now it threatens to push us over. And | | we're so lonely. We'll be nice to it, if | .----------------------. | it is nice to us, won't we? Yes, yess. | | OK, I won't kill you, | '-----------------------------------------' | but I can't leave | | | you here, you'll just | | .--. | come after me and | :O_O : -| kill me. I'll have to | ________________ :<_> : | take you with me | | __ | .'.' ':. '----------------------' | }<__8 | :-: :: | | | |__| | |________________| ____\_|__|_/___ | ______________ | / \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \____ \____()______________()_________/ .-----------------------------------------. | But where is it going? Where would a nice | | little penguin be going in these cold, | | hard lands? Where goes it, eh, where does | | it go? Ssss.... | '----------.------------------------------' .----------------------. | | I'm going to Redmond, | | | of course. And you | | /| know the way there, I | | .--. / | believe. | :O_O : '----------------------' ________________ :<_> : | __ | .'.' ':. | }<__8 | :-: :: | | | |__| | |________________| ____\_|__|_/___ | ______________ | / \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \ \ || || / \____ \____()______________()_________/ .----------------------------------------------. | Ach! sss! Oh no, nice little penguin doesn't | | want to go there. It's full of BSODs, and | | clueless newbies, and incompetent programmers. | | Flatfish goes there once, yes, we did, my | | precious, and they torture us, torture us | | with BSODs, daily reboots, expensive upgrades. | | No, penguin musn't go to -Sssss- those places. | '----------.-----------------------------------' | .--. | :O_O : ________________ :<_> : | __ | .'.' ':. | }<__8 | :-: :: | | | |__| | \ |________________| ____\_|__|_/___ | | ______________ | / \ | || || / .---------------'--------------. \ || || / | Yes, you know the way, and you | \ || || / | are going to take me there, or | \ || || / | I will push over your task. Do | \____()______________()_________/ | you understand Flatfish? | '-------------------------------' .-------------------------------------. | Ssss...the penguin is so cruel, so | ______| cruel to us, yes he is, yes precious. | .======. / | But Flatfish has no choice, no. We | }\: : / | musst take it to Redmond. Ssss.... | } - - - -8| '-------------------------------------' }/: : '======' And so Flatfish and Tux travelled East to the land of Redmond. It was a short journey, and soon they reached the Blue Gate. . . ''. .'' } { } ___ ___ { } |[_]| |[_]| { } |---| |---| { }/|---| |---|\{ } |---| |---|{ }|---| |---{ }|---|\_____________________________/|---{ }---|Welcome to Redmond. Entr $500k |--{ }--| (conc $499k)|-{ }-| |-{ }-|_______________________________|{ }| | | | { ______________________}___________|__|__|____________{_______________________ __ |__| . | | /o\ .------------------------------------------. | Oh bollocks. I can't afford the $500,000 | \___| needed to get in, and I bet even Flatfish | | wouldn't count as a concession. I guess | | I'll just have to hack the secret password | | to get in. | '------------------------------------------' But Tux found hacking in much more difficult than he'd expected. .------------------------. ____________ | Wait a minute, you never || | Enter | | told me this machine was || | password | | running FreeBSD! || | for | ________________ '---------------.--------' | | entry | | __ | | | |__________| | 8__>{ | | | |\qwertyuiop\ | | .--. | | | \asdfghjkl;\ |________________| : O_O: / | | \zxcvbnm,./\ | ______________ | : <_>: | | >----------> || || .'.' ':. | | | | || || :_: :: | | | | || | || | | | | | | | | || | || \_|--|_/ |_|___|__________| () | () | .----------'-----------------. | Of courssse it is, precious | | Not even Microsoft is stupid | | enough to trust Windows to | | such an important task. | '----------------------------' .----------------------------------. ________________ | Luckily for penguin, we knows | | __ | ____| another way, doesn't we precious? | | }<__8 | | Yesss...another way to Redmond. | | | | We have been there before... | |________________| '----------------------------------' | ______________ | || || || || || || || || () () .---------------------------. ________________ | There is still one entrance | | __ | | guarded only by a Windows |______ | 8__>{ | | 98 firewall. If penguin | | | | wants to, we can takes it | |________________| | there. | | ______________ | '---------------------------' || || || || || || || | || () | () | .------------------. | | OK, we'll go that | | .--. | way, but I want no | | : O_O: _________| tricks from you | | : <_>: | Flatfish! | | .'.' ':. '------------------' | :_: :: | | | | | .------------'--------------. \_|--|_/ | Of course not. We won't | | hurt the nice penguin. | | Nice master, nice Flatfish. | '---------------------------' Flatfish led Tux along the borders of Redmond to the secret entrance. .-----------------. | Oh no, we still | | have to get past | | that turnstile. | Enter here. .------------------. '-------------.---' ____________ | See what the panel | | | || | | says, master. | | | || | '--.---------------' | __ | || | | | |##|| || | | | |##|| ___||___ | | | |##|| / || \ | ________________ .--. / || || || | __ | : O_O: || || || | 8__>{ | : <_>: | \___||___/ | | | .'.' ':. | || | |________________| ________:_: ::____________| || |_____| ______________ |_______ | | | | || || \_|--|_/ || || || || || || () () ____________________________ | __________________________ | || || || Are you authorised || || to enter this turnstile? || || || || || || [YES] [NO] [CANCEL] || || || || || || || ||__________________________|| |____________________________| ________________ .-------------------------. | __ | | I think I'll select "YES" | | 8__>{ | '-.-----------------------' | | .--. / _/ |________________| : O_O: ____/ / | ______________ | : <_>: / || || .'.' ':. .-------------------. / || || :_: :: | Good choice master. | || || | | | | '-------------------' || || \_|--|_/ () () Tux selected "YES" and passed through the turnstile. Next they had to navigate a maze of tunnels and passageways. They travelled for hours, and Tux was sure they were lost. ____________________ _______________________________________ \ |\ _____________ .---------------. \ | \ /| |\ | Oh dear, do you | \ | \_________________/ | _______ | \__ | know where we |_____\_|_____ | | / \ | | are Flatfish? | /|| __\____________ | |/ \| '---------------' / || / /|| / \____ / || / / || / / |\/ / ||/ ___________________/ |/______________/ |/___________________ | | | || | | | || | /| | || | / | | / | | / | | / | | / | | / | __________________|/____|______________|/____|___________________ .-------------------------. | Flatfish? Where are you? | | Oh bugger, he's gone and | | left me. What a bastard. | /| Never mind, I'll find my | / | own way through. | .--. / '-------------------------' : O_O: : <_>: .'.' ':. :_: :: | | | | \_|--|_/ But the maze was extremely complicated, and Tux found that he was definitely lost. But he was not alone in the maze. There was a giant spider loose, and Flatfish had alerted it to the presence of Tux... .-----------------. /\ /\ | Oh no, I hate | /||\/||\ | spiders. I'm off. | /\/ /\ \ '--------------.--' / / /\ \ \ | \/ /\ \ \ \ | /\/ \/\ \/\ | /\ \ \ \ \ / /\ \ \ \ \ \ ..'': \/\ \ \ \ \ .' .<> \ \ | \/\ \/\ .' .: : | \| \ | \ | /\.'.'.' \| \| \| \_\_\ *scuttle* Tux was no match for the lightning pace of the spider, and it was soon on top of him. /\ /\ /\ /||\ /||\ /\ /\ /||\/ /\ ################## /\ \/||\ /\ /||\/ /\ \/########################\/ /\ \/||\ / /\ \/ /\############################/\ \/ /\ \ / / /\ \/ ############################## \/ /\ \ \ / / /\ \ \################################/ /\/\ \ \ /\/ /||\/\##################################/\/||\ \/\ / / / /\ \/#######/ / / / \ \ \#######\/ /\ \ \ \ / / / / /\ \######/ /__/___/ \___\__\ \######/ /\ \ \ \ \ / / / / | /\ \####// /OOOOOO\ /OOOOOO\ \\####/ /\ | \ \ \ \ /\/ /\/ |/ \/\###\ (OOOOOOOO)(OOOOOOOO) /###/\/ \| \/\ \/\ | / / / \ \###\\\OOOOOO/ \OOOOOO/ /###/ / \ \ \ | |/ / / \ `|##\ `````` \ ``/``/ /##|`\/ \ \ \| / / \/####\\ \ \ / / /####\/ \ \ /\/ ####\ \ \ \ / / /#### \/\ | / ###\\__\_\___/__/### \ | |/ \\\||||||/// \| \\| |// \| |/ |\|||||||||^o: |_|||||||||..' The spider stung Tux and wrapped him up in her webs to eat later. It looked like it was all over for the code-bearer, but then an unlikely hero suddenly came to his rescue. .----------------. | Oh no, I've lost | ? | control of my | | tank! | /\/\ ####### /\/\ '---------.------' //\\\\###########////\\ | ///\\\#############///\\\ | ////\\###############//\\\\ | /////\\###############//\\\\\ _____ /// \\###<<><> >###// \\\ | | | | ><> | // \\###\___/###// \\ | | | |_____| // `````| |````` \\ | | | | | o o :|||o /\/\ ####### /\/\ //\\\\###########////\\ ///\\\#############///\\\ ////\\###############//\\\\ /////\\###############//\\\\\ /// _\\###<<> <>>###// \\\ // | ><> |#\___/###// \\ // |_____|``| |````` \\ | |*BASH* o o :|||o \\ Dead // \\ ____ // \\ \\________/- -\________// // \\ '------##\____/##------' // \\\\______####|##|####______//// \\'-----##############-----'// \\\\_____##############_____//// _____ \\'------############------'// | <>< | \\______//########\\______// |_____| '------' '------' | | :|||o o o After losing control of his tank, Flatfish then inadvertently delivered a fatal blow to the spider, and Tux was saved. Or was he... Part 3: THE RETURN OF THE WINTROLLS _________________ .----------------------. | __ | | Flatfish! You've saved | | 8__>{ | | me! Now cut me out of | | | | these bonds! | |_________________| '--------------------.-' | _______________ | \ || || \ || | || || | || |\|||||||||^o: || | || |_|||||||||..' () | () | | .-------------'------------. | No! We won't let the thief | | free! No precious, we will | | let it die...Sssss...then | | we can get the precious | | back! Yes, we will get the | | precious! | '--------------------------' Meanwhile, outside the gates of Redmond, the rest of the fellowship was getting ready to confront Bill on his own doorstep. } ___ ___ { } |[_]| |[_]| { } |---| | | { } |---| | | { } |---| | |{ }|---| | { }|---|\_____________________________/| { }---|Welcome to Redmond. Entr $500k | { }--| (conc $499k)| { }-| | { }-|_______________________________|{ }| | | | { ________________________}___________|__|__|____________{__________________ _( ) ( )_[]_ o _||_ ?? ~~ (__) [] ## |_ || ??~||~ || || () || ?? || .----------------------. | We're going to install | / \_____| Linux on all your | | | computers! | .-----------'-----. '----------------------' | Come on out Bill! | '-----------------' But the Dark Lord had been expecting them, and now he had them in his trap, he could unleash the wrath of all his forces. .---------------. .------------------. | Linsux is crap! | | Redhat is slow and | '---------.------' | buggy and won't | \ | even install! | \ '-------------.----' \ \ |\ |\ |\ | .--------------. \ ||__|| ||__| | Oh no, trolls! | __/O O \ __/O O '--.------.--.-' / \ / | | \ / / \ / / | | \ / / _ \ / / _ | __ \ / /____/| \ / /____/| __ |==| _ \___/| | | | \ \___/| | | | _|__|_ |.-| _|_|_ | \|_|_|/ \ | \|_|_|/ |_=| /|####|\ _\_/ /| / \ \ | ||\/|| |####| | / o\ || | | \ | || || |####| ||.' | | || | | || (|--|)_| |_)|| o | |_| |_|_|_| || | || | | | |/ | | | / | | || | | | | o | \ | / \| |_|| |__|_| |___|_| | | | || __|_))__|__)_)___|_)_)_______________________c_c_c_c/_\c_c_c_c_____c_c_c_c/ The battle was long and bloody, and the members of the fellowship were being badly beaten. It was all up to the Code- bearer... .----------------------------------. ________________ | The penguin will soon be dead... | | __ | | Sssss...and then we can take our |____ | 8__>{ | | precious...yes, our precious that | | | | was stolen...It came to us on our | |________________| | birthday, yes precious, it did, | | ______________ | | and soon we will have it back... | || || '----------------------------------' || || || || |\|||||||||^o: || || |_|||||||||..' () () / .-------------------'-. | Oh no, I have to find | | a way to escape. | '---------------------' Tux thought all day for a way to escape. Soon he came up with an idea. .----------------------------------. ________________ | Hey Flatfish, if you let me out | | __ | | of these webs, I can give you the | | 8__>{ | | precious now, and then you won't | | | | have to wait. | |________________| '------------------------------.---' | ______________ | | || || | || || || | || |\|||||||||^o: || | || |_|||||||||..' () | () | .------------'----. | A good idea, yes. | | We will let the | | penguin out, and | | then we can have | | the precious! | '-----------------' And so Flatfish unwrapped Tux. But Tux didn't fullfill his end of the bargain... .---------------. | Hehe...I'm off! | '----------'----' ________________ .---------------. | | __ | | Asch! Wicked! | | | }<__8| --| Tricksy! False! | | | | | The thief lies! | | |________________| '---------------' | | ______________ | || || ..'': || || .' .<> || || .' .: : || || /\.'.'.' () () \_\_| Tux escaped, and carried on his journey into Redmond. Before long he came to The Blue Screens of Doom. ______________ ______________ | ____________ | | ____________ | .--. ||General || _______________ || || :O_O : ||Cockup || | _____________ | || Please || :<_> : ||0x543535 || || || || Reboot || .'.' ': ||____________|| || 0x745328479 || ||____________|| :-: :: |______________| || /fatalerror/|| |______________| | | | | /________\ ||_____________|| /________\ \_|--|_/ |_______________| /_________\ | | | .---------------------------'--------. | I have come. But I do not choose now | | to do what I came to do. I will not | | do this deed. The Code is mine! | '------------------------------------' Tux claimed the Code for his own, but as he ran off with it, Flatfish came to get it. ___ |||_|| |___||| _ __ ________________ ---'| \\| o\ .-----. | | | __ | --' / <>o| ---| Ouch! | | | | }<__8 | _/ /\ \ '-----' | | | | | \/ / /\\ | | |________________| \/\/ / ` | | | ______________ | \ /\/ | | || || \ \_| | | || || \ \ | | || || \ | | || ||*bash* \ | | () () |\ /| __| \ / |___ \ _ \/ _ / __\ \ / /__ | \ _ *splash* / | |_____________________________\ \ \ / /_________| | | | ______ | | ||||__|| | | .======. | | | | }\: : |WinXP | | | } - - - -8| |______| | | }/: : | | '======' \ | | \ | | .'--------. | | | PRECIOUS! | | | '---------' | |_____________________________________________________| | | | | | ___________________________________________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | Flatfish had finally got back the code. But after such a long journey, a large amount of static electricity had built up on the disk, and Flatfish was in for a shock... *spark* *sizzle* \\ // *hiss* // \\ \\ \\ // \\ \\ \\ //// // // \\ \\ // //// \\// \\ // *fizz* \\// // \\ \\ \\// .---------------. |/__\//__//___\\___/_/| | Help! I'm being | | __/\__/\__/\__ | _| electrocuted to | | __\ / | / | death! | | \ >##8 > ---+-' '---------------' | /__ _\ | | /__ __ ___\ | | \/ \/ | |_____________________| | _________________ | | | | | | | *crackle* | | | | | | | | | | |_| |_| But no help came, and the tank soon exploded due to the build-up of pressure. /\ ___ ____ /\ / \ / / |\ ___ \ \ /\ / \ / / /__/ | \ \ | __\ \__/ \___/ \\ / | \ \ | \ \____\ \\/ |___\ ___ \|___\ __ __ \____ _____ \ \ \ |_ |\/| /\ |_ |_|| // / \__\ /\ \ __|| |/``\__|| |. //____/ / \ \ /___ \ \ / /\/ /\ \ / / / \ / \ /| \/ /__ ___________________ \ / /____\ / | |/| _________________ |\ |\/ /__| ____ || || \| __ | / || || | / |__/ || || |/ || || || || Flatfish was completely and utterly destroyed, and with him, the activation code. This was bad news for Bill, whose Fortress collapsed. *rumble* |~~--_ |-~_~0~-_ ______|~-_--~~ { { } }~~ { { } } *crumble* { { } } { { } } } { { } } { { { } } } { } } } ______{ / / | \ \}___________ ______ { { } } { { } } { { } } { { } } } ______ { { } }__( ) )_ { { { } } } ( ) ) { } }( *smash* ) )_ ______{ / / | \(_(___(___)__)__)__ Bill Gates was last seen flogging lighters on Liverpool market, 5 for a pound. .--------------------------. | Come and get yer lighters, | ____| 5 for a pound. Now in: | / | LighterXP, 20% less fatal | ###### / | explosions than LighterME! | ([o][o]) / '--------------------------' | _\ | | '--' | .--\____/--. / \ | / \ / ||| # \ / /| ||| |\ \ \ \| ||| |/ / \# \ ||| / / ____\__\__|||_/__/____ / [__]] [__]] [__]] /| / [__]] [__]] / | /_____________________/ | | | | | billies' lighters, | | ____| now with non-leak | |_______ / | casing! | / / / | | / / /______|______________________|/______/ Tux eventually decided to go home. The rest of the fellowship had been FUDded to death by the trolls, so it was a lonely journey. Eventually, he made it back to Finland. However, he was in for a shock. .------------------. | Oh no, look what's | ____________________ | happened to my | | __________________ | | computer! | ||Welcome to WinXP. || /'------------------' || || / ||Now removing all || / ||ext2 partitions...|| / || || .--. / || || : O_O: ||__________________|| : <_>: |____________________| .'.' ':. / \ :-: :: / \ __| | | |______________________________/_____________\______ \_|--|_/ Some evil ruffians had installed Windows XP on Tux's computer. After some time he managed to get rid of it and reinstall Linux. .---------------------------. | Phew, that was hard work. | | But I'm bored of Linux, | | Writing an OS is no fun | | when there is no serious | | competition. | '--.-------------------------' .--. / : O_O: ___/ : <_>: .'.' ':. :-: :: ____________| | | |__________ \_|--|_/ And so Tux set sail across the North Sea, never to be seen by any living person _____ ever again. .-' '-/|\ .' / ||\ / / || \ : / || \ | .'. || \ '-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-|.###. || \_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_-'-_- | '####|| \ '-_-' '-_-' \ '.##||## \ '-_-' ' -' '-_-' '-_-' \ \\ '###########:. '-_-' \ \ '.##########:| '-_-' '-_-' \ \\ '''''''''' |-_-''-_ \ \ / \ _-' '-_-' '-_-' \\ // \ '-_-' \ \`-.____.-'/ / '-_-' '-_-' '-_ '-.._____.-'/'-_ '-._____.-' / '-._____.-' ------------------------------------------ By DrSquare 2001/2002 -- .. .. .' ' ' .' ' ':''.':':'':':''.':''. : :'':':''.':''. : .'.' '..: : .' : .' : ''.'..: :..' : .' : : : '..' : : : : : .' .' .' .' ###### From: "CeeJay" Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art References: Subject: Re: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 14:07:56 +0100 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000 Lines: 29 Message-ID: <3c3ee326$0$35445$edfadb0f@dspool01.news.tele.dk> Organization: TDC Internet NNTP-Posting-Host: 62.243.165.226 X-Trace: 1010754342 dread03.news.tele.dk 35445 62.243.165.226 X-Complaints-To: abuse@post.tele.dk Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!skynet.be!skynet.be!newsfeed00.sul.t-online.de!t-online.de!news.tele.dk!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26887 "Joaquim Gāndara" wrote in message news:a1mm0l$rr2mh$1@ID-102694.news.dfncis.de... > "Mark S Bilk" skrev i meddelandet > news:lNA%7.3550$uA.36239@rwcrnsc51.ops.asp.att.net > > Apparently drsquare's newsreader or ISP folded this epic at > > about column 74, and also removed leading spaces in the folded > > bits. The scene in Bill Gates' garden was the most difficult > > to restore, and I'm not sure every detail there is correct. > > I also put a one-space right margin in some of the unfolded > > speech balloons, and replaced the few tabs with spaces. > > Hopefully slrn and my ISP won't mess it up again. > > > > Thanks, drsquare -- one of these makes up for a lot of bs! > > Ah, this one I could read. No wrapping there. > > -jg Once again I could not read the original post .. I think it's either being filtered .. or it takes a REALLY long time for messages from his server to reach mine .. but I know this is not the case because I can read his comments Maybe if someone else reposted it or put it on a webpage ? - CeeJay ###### Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art From: kevin wilcox Subject: Re: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. References: Followup-To: comp.os.linux.advocacy Message-ID: User-Agent: slrn/0.9.7.3 (Linux) Lines: 7 Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 13:16:03 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 66.57.113.60 X-Complaints-To: abuse@rr.com X-Trace: typhoon.southeast.rr.com 1010754963 66.57.113.60 (Fri, 11 Jan 2002 08:16:03 EST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 08:16:03 EST Organization: RoadRunner - Triad Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!newsfeeder.edisontel.com!newsfeed4.cidera.com!newsfeed1.cidera.com!Cidera!cyclone.tampabay.rr.com!news-post.tampabay.rr.com!typhoon.southeast.rr.com.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26860 Thanks Mark for reposting that. DrSquare *WAS* in my killfile. But damn that makes up for the crap he has posted. Welcome back drsquare, and congratulations on a WONDERFUL piece of work!!! kw ###### From: drsquare Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art Subject: Re: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 15:54:00 +0000 (UTC) Organization: BT Openworld Lines: 31 Message-ID: References: NNTP-Posting-Host: host213-122-191-103.btinternet.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: paris.btinternet.com 1010764440 20258 213.122.191.103 (11 Jan 2002 15:54:00 GMT) X-Complaints-To: usenet@paris.btinternet.com NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 15:54:00 +0000 (UTC) X-No-Archive: yes X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newscore.univie.ac.at!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!btnet-peer1!btnet-feed5!btnet!news.btopenworld.com!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26885 On Fri, 11 Jan 2002 12:21:37 GMT, in alt.ascii-art, (mark@cosmicpenguin.com (Mark S Bilk)) wrote: >Apparently drsquare's newsreader or ISP folded this epic at >about column 74, What the fuck? It wasn't my newsreader, so it must have been BT Internet. The bastards! Why did no-one else warn me of this? >and also removed leading spaces in the folded >bits. Oh dear, this is no good at all. It would be completely ruined. >The scene in Bill Gates' garden was the most difficult >to restore, and I'm not sure every detail there is correct. >I also put a one-space right margin in some of the unfolded >speech balloons, and replaced the few tabs with spaces. >Hopefully slrn and my ISP won't mess it up again. It looks to be alright. -- .. .. .' ' ' .' ' ':''.':':'':':''.':''. : :'':':''.':''. : .'.' '..: : .' : .' : ''.'..: :..' : .' : : : '..' : : : : : .' .' .' .' ###### From: snootycutie@excite.com Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art Subject: Re: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. Sender: Christine Abernathy Message-ID: References: X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.553 X-No-Archive: yes MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 36 Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 18:08:12 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 24.188.206.55 X-Trace: news02.optonline.net 1010772492 24.188.206.55 (Fri, 11 Jan 2002 13:08:12 EST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 13:08:12 EST Organization: Optimum Online Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!news-spur1.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!newsfeed1.cidera.com!Cidera!cyclone2.usenetserver.com!usenetserver.com!news01.optonline.net!news02.optonline.net.POSTED!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26893 On Fri, 11 Jan 2002 12:21:37 GMT, mark@cosmicpenguin.com (Mark S Bilk) wrote: >Apparently drsquare's newsreader or ISP folded this epic at >about column 74, and also removed leading spaces in the folded >bits. The scene in Bill Gates' garden was the most difficult >to restore, and I'm not sure every detail there is correct. Well, well look who is back!! Did the sewers overflow in San Francisco or something? A little rain and you never know these days. Christine Abernathy Terry's knowledge of Linux after 4 years is laughable *On Thu, 10 Jan 2002 08:43:44 +1100, tjporter@gronk.porter.net (Terry Porter) wrote: *>On Wed, 09 Jan 2002 08:36:57 GMT, Ed Allen in article *> dashed off: *>> Try: *>> killall lyx *>That worked :) *>> or *>> kill `pidof lyx` *>That worked too :) *>Whats more they both killed multiple instances of Lyx *>> The backticks execute the command inside and then return the *>> result as if you had typed the process ID numbers as *>> arguments to the 'kill' command. *>> These are both part of the psmisc package on *>> and should be in almost every distro already. *>Thanks again Ed, you're a damn handy Cola resource! *>Tery He can't even spell his own name!! ###### From: Edward Rosten Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art Subject: Re: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 17:40:22 +0000 Message-ID: <1010774656.20312.0.nnrp-10.c2dec6d0@news.demon.co.uk> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: zuul.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: zuul.demon.co.uk:194.222.198.208 X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 1010774656 nnrp-10:20312 NO-IDENT zuul.demon.co.uk:194.222.198.208 X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net User-Agent: Pan/0.11.1 (Unix) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Comment-To: "Mark S Bilk" X-No-Productlinks: Yes Lines: 17 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!newscore.univie.ac.at!skynet.be!skynet.be!dispose.news.demon.net!news.demon.co.uk!demon!zuul.demon.co.uk!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26968 On Fri, 11 Jan 2002 12:21:37 +0000, Mark S Bilk wrote: Thanks. That one looks much better in places. -Ed PS. Great post, Dr. Square -- (You can't go wrong with psycho-rats.) (u98ejr)(@)(ecs.ox)(.ac.uk) /d{def}def/f{/Times findfont s scalefont setfont}d/s{10}d/r{roll}d f 5/m {moveto}d -1 r 230 350 m 0 1 179{1 index show 88 rotate 4 mul 0 rmoveto} for /s 15 d f pop 240 420 m 0 1 3 { 4 2 1 r sub -1 r show } for showpage ###### From: Edward Rosten Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art Subject: Re: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 17:41:26 +0000 Message-ID: <1010774719.3673.0.nnrp-14.c2dec6d0@news.demon.co.uk> References: <3c3ee326$0$35445$edfadb0f@dspool01.news.tele.dk> NNTP-Posting-Host: zuul.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: zuul.demon.co.uk:194.222.198.208 X-Trace: news.demon.co.uk 1010774719 nnrp-14:3673 NO-IDENT zuul.demon.co.uk:194.222.198.208 X-Complaints-To: abuse@demon.net User-Agent: Pan/0.11.1 (Unix) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Comment-To: "CeeJay" X-No-Productlinks: Yes Lines: 41 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.mailgate.org!skynet.be!skynet.be!dispose.news.demon.net!news.demon.co.uk!demon!zuul.demon.co.uk!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26964 On Fri, 11 Jan 2002 13:07:56 +0000, CeeJay wrote: > > "Joaquim Gāndara" wrote in message > news:a1mm0l$rr2mh$1@ID-102694.news.dfncis.de... >> "Mark S Bilk" skrev i meddelandet >> news:lNA%7.3550$uA.36239@rwcrnsc51.ops.asp.att.net >> > Apparently drsquare's newsreader or ISP folded this epic at >> > about column 74, and also removed leading spaces in the folded >> > bits. The scene in Bill Gates' garden was the most difficult >> > to restore, and I'm not sure every detail there is correct. >> > I also put a one-space right margin in some of the unfolded >> > speech balloons, and replaced the few tabs with spaces. >> > Hopefully slrn and my ISP won't mess it up again. >> > >> > Thanks, drsquare -- one of these makes up for a lot of bs! >> >> Ah, this one I could read. No wrapping there. >> >> -jg > > Once again I could not read the original post .. I think it's either being > filtered .. > or it takes a REALLY long time for messages from his server to reach mine .. but > I know this is not the case because I can read his comments > > Maybe if someone else reposted it or put it on a webpage ? Try on google. Dr Square uses X-No-Aarchive, but I expect that Mark S. Blik does not. -Ed -- (You can't go wrong with psycho-rats.) (u98ejr)(@)(ecs.ox)(.ac.uk) /d{def}def/f{/Times findfont s scalefont setfont}d/s{10}d/r{roll}d f 5/m {moveto}d -1 r 230 350 m 0 1 179{1 index show 88 rotate 4 mul 0 rmoveto} for /s 15 d f pop 240 420 m 0 1 3 { 4 2 1 r sub -1 r show } for showpage ###### From: Philip Newton Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy,alt.ascii-art Subject: Re: UNFOLDED: The Adventures of Flatfish: Lord of the Rings special. Date: Sat, 12 Jan 2002 08:04:22 +0100 Organization: very little Lines: 19 Message-ID: References: <3c3ee326$0$35445$edfadb0f@dspool01.news.tele.dk> Reply-To: "Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton" NNTP-Posting-Host: dialup1-80.access.nacamar.de (62.144.248.80) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: fu-berlin.de 1010819019 29654377 62.144.248.80 (16 [11583]) X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news.ifi.unizh.ch!15189!news.imp.ch!fu-berlin.de!uni-berlin.de!dialup1-80.access.nacamar.DE!not-for-mail Xref: chonsp.franklin.ch alt.ascii-art:26962 On Fri, 11 Jan 2002 14:07:56 +0100, "CeeJay" wrote: > Once again I could not read the original post .. I think it's either being > filtered .. Maybe because it's too long. It's not on groups.google.com, either. > Maybe if someone else reposted it or put it on a webpage ? I just emailed it to you (Mark S Bilk's "UNFOLDED" version). Hope it comes through all right. Cheers, Philip -- Philip Newton That really is my address; no need to remove anything to reply. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.