From: "JRO" Newsgroups: alt.ascii-art Subject: "Help"... Date: Mon, 5 Apr 1999 16:57:13 -0500 Lines: 235 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.71.1712.3 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.71.1712.3 NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.141.24.181 Message-ID: <37092fdd.0@206.103.97.91> Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!su-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!news.winstar.net!news.good.net!206.103.97.91!209.141.24.181 "Okay, cats! Today, we're gonna address a MUCH NEEDED subject: Help for all you geeks out there, wasting your lives on the damn box in front of your face, all on account of somewheres, you never did pick up no good advice, and ain't yet learnt the first thing about being cool." / __\/___ / //\_____\ _ /_(o)_(o)_\ \\ (/ ___ \) /\\ __\ '\_/' /__ /\ /\ / \/\ /\/ \ \/ \/ \_/ \ \ \ | . |_|| \ \ /| | / \_/ | . | / jro "Have no fear, though. You poor, dysfunctional folks have got ME! An' I'm gona try to he'p ya out. Belive me, you're gonna learn a thing or two, an' if ya listen well, I figger I kin help you to change your life for the better!" / __\/___ / //\_____\ /_(o)_(o)_\ (/ ___ \) __\ '\_/' /__ / \/\ /\/ \ / \_/ \ / | . |_|| \ \ | | / \ | . | / orj "Hey! Before we git too deep into the subject, here's a little thing ya ought to know... How many of ya ree-cog-nize what this is?" / __\/___ / //\_____\ /_(o)_(o)_\ _ (/ ___ \) |_| __\ '\_/' /__ //\ / \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\ / \_/ \ / \/ / | . |_|| / / \ | |\ / \ | . | \__/ jro __\/___ //\_____\ /_(o)_(o)_\ _ (/ ___ \) |_| __\ _ /__ //\ / \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\ / \_/ \ / \/ / | . |_|| / / \ | |\ / \ | . | \__/ "Well, it's a Zippo. Handy thing for even geeks to know about... Now, I'm gonna take a sec or two, an' then we'll git into some SERIOUS advice for you folks..." / __\/___ / //\_____\ /_(o)_(o)_\ _ (/ ___ \) |_| __\ '\_/' /__ //\ / \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\ / \_/ \ / \/ / | . |_|| / / \ | |\ / \ | . | \__/ jro __ (__) __ ...PUFF... _( _) ...PUFF... (___) _ __\/___ __(_) / \(_ _) / \(__) (\_______/) __/\_____/\__ / \_______/ \ | | \ | | | \ | | |___/ \ | | jro _ (...Blow that, you ) (_)__ __ (cybersyphiltic morons...) __ .'__`. (_ ) O (__) / / \ \ (_) O __ \ \__/ / O (_ ) __ `.__.' o __\/___ (_) _( _) (_) / // \ (_ _) / // \ (_) (\_______/) ...PUFF... __/\_____/\__ ...PUFF... / \_______/ \ | | \ | | | \ | | |___/ jro \ | | "Okay, now back to the lesson. Number One: never drive anything with less than 300 horses locked under the hood. Forget all that crap about "Where Doo YOU Wanna Go Today?". YOU don't go anywhere on the World Wide Web. IT don't move. The only place you'll end up by "traveling" on it, is straight to some FAT CAMP." / __\/___ / //\_____\ /_(o)_(o)_\ (/ ___ \) __\ '\_/' /__ / \/\ /\/ \ / \_/ \ / | . |_|| \ \ | | / \ | . | / jro _))__ (((()))\\\ )o))))))_ \ _______ \_(()))) \ \ __ "Now, on to Number Two..." _)(())))/ / / /\\))(()))/ __\/___ / / /())))))) //\_____\ / / ((())))) /_(o)_(o)_\ \ \_()))))) (/ ___ \) \ \)____( __\ '\_/' /__ \ / \ / \/\ /\/ \ (/ \ / \_/ \ /________\ / | . |_|| \ / / | | \ | | / jro / / | | \ | . | / _))__ (((())) )o)))))) _______ \_(()))) _________ "Hhmmm..." _)(()))) / /\\))(())) __\/___ / / /())))))) //\_____\ / / ()(())))\ /_(o)_(o)_\ \ \_()))))) / (/ ___ \) \ \)____( / __\ _ /__ \ / \_) / \/\ /\/ \ (/ \ / \_/ \ /________\ / | . |_|| \ | | \ \ \ | | / jro | | / / \ | . | / "Look, maybe it's time you just faced the facts. I can't help you sonsabitches, anyway. You're geeks! If you weren't, you you wouldn't be reading a newsgroup, would ya? I'm afraid that I have some other matters _((__ to attend to, now. You sit there and "surf", (()))(( and I'll take care of this problem that's ((()))))( came up here. Good luck to you... I'm ________ (((())))) _____ not gonna need any, myself." ((()))))) / /()))(()))\ __\/___ / / (())))))) \ //\_____\ / /(()))))))\ \ /_(o)_(o)_\ _ \ \(()))))) / / (/ ___ \) // \ \)____( / / __\ '\_/' /__ //\ \ / \/ / / \/\ /\/ \ /\ /\ (/ \) / \_/ \/ \/ /________\ / | . |_|| / / | || | \ | |\ / jro | || | \ | . | \_/ Jonathon R. Oglesbee oglesbee@ mail.fullnet.net ###### From: shedragon@mailcity.com (LDB) Newsgroups: alt.ascii-art Subject: Re: "Help"... Date: Tue, 06 Apr 1999 00:50:17 GMT Organization: Globalserve Communications Inc. Lines: 33 Message-ID: <370959cb.4606239@news.globalserve.net> References: <37092fdd.0@206.103.97.91> NNTP-Posting-Host: dialin550.toronto.globalserve.net X-Trace: whisper.globalserve.net 923360058 8902 209.90.132.41 (6 Apr 1999 00:54:18 GMT) X-Complaints-To: abuse@globalserve.net NNTP-Posting-Date: 6 Apr 1999 00:54:18 GMT X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.11/32.235 Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!news.belnet.be!news-feed.inet.tele.dk!bofh.vszbr.cz!newsfeed.gamma.ru!Gamma.RU!nntpgate.globalserve.net!news.globalserve.net!not-for-mail On Mon, 5 Apr 1999 16:57:13 -0500, "JRO" wrote: Maddiagn... I don't lock horses under my hood. I also don't listen to someone with a sqaure head when they tell me "how to be cool" :P Laura > > "Okay, now back to the lesson. > Number One: never drive anything > with less than 300 horses locked > under the hood. Forget all that > crap about "Where Doo YOU Wanna > Go Today?". YOU don't go anywhere > on the World Wide Web. IT don't > move. The only place you'll end > up by "traveling" on it, is > straight to some FAT CAMP." > / > __\/___ / > //\_____\ > /_(o)_(o)_\ > (/ ___ \) > __\ '\_/' /__ > / \/\ /\/ \ > / \_/ \ > / | . |_|| \ > \ | | / > \ | . | / jro > > ###### From: "JRO" Newsgroups: alt.ascii-art References: <37092fdd.0@206.103.97.91> <370959cb.4606239@news.globalserve.net> Subject: Re: "Help"... Date: Tue, 6 Apr 1999 18:21:57 -0500 Lines: 9 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.71.1712.3 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.71.1712.3 NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.141.24.143 Message-ID: <370a9527.0@206.103.97.91> Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!isdnet!remarQ-easT!remarQ73!supernews.com!remarQ.com!news.winstar.net!news.good.net!206.103.97.91!209.141.24.143 Wow, Laura... You got more guts than a smokehouse. JRO