From: "JRO" Newsgroups: alt.ascii-art References: <36FE6315.1F81906@flashnet.it> <37052F12.B378E203@mailhost.chi.ameritech.net> Subject: Re: Lawyer Cartoons Date: Fri, 2 Apr 1999 15:08:42 -0600 Lines: 438 X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.71.1712.3 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.71.1712.3 NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.141.24.186 Message-ID: <37053013.0@206.103.97.91> Path: chonsp.franklin.ch!pfaff.ethz.ch!news-zh.switch.ch!news-ge.switch.ch!enews.sgi.com!su-news-feed4.bbnplanet.com!su-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!news.winstar.net!news.good.net!206.103.97.91!209.141.24.186 Tom wrote in message <37052F12.B378E203@mailhost.chi.ameritech.net>... >Looking for lawyer cartoons. >Thanks The Witness ______________________________________________________ "Good morning, Mrs. Milo. I'm ___ Councilor Dumass, and I'd like /_ _\ to ask you a few questions." ( - - ) __\ _ /__ \ / \_/ \ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || (~O-O / \ | || _\_-/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_\ |/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 ___ /_ _\ "Please go right ahead, ( - - ) young man." __\ _ /__ / / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || (~O-O / \ | || _\_o/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_\ |/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ___ "First off, could you tell the /_ _\ Court if the Defendant, Jo-Jo, ( - - ) is in fact your son?" __\ _ /__ / / \_/ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || (~O-O / \ | || _\_-/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_| /_/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ |_____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) 88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 ___ /_ _\ ( - - ) "Yes. Jo-Jo is my son." __\ _ /__ / / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || O-O~) / \ | || _\o_/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_| /_/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ |_____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % ___ /_ _\ "And could you tell us ( - - ) how old he is?" __\ _ /__ \ / \_/ \ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || (~O-O / \ | || _\_-/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_\ |/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& ___ /_ _\ ( - - ) __\ _ /__ "He's thirty-one years old." / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ / //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || (~O-O / \ | || _\_o/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_\ |/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "Thankyou... Now, Mrs. Milo, I ___ understand that he still lives /_ _\ at home with you. Could you tell ( - - ) us how long he's resided with you?" __\ _ /__ / / \_/ \ __ / __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || (~O-O / \ | || _\_-/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_| /_/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ |_____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) JROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJRO ORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJ ? ! ___ ! /_ _\ ? ( O O ) "About forty-five years." __\ _ /__ / / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ (()) (//\\) | || ((())) _\__/_ | || O-O~) / \ | || _\o_/_ / / \ \ | || / \__/ \ \_| /_/ | ||_/_(____)_\_ |_____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) endendendendendendendendendendendendendendendendend endendendendendendendendendendendendendendendendend The Inquest ________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Dr. Wiess, I see by the autopsy report ___ that you performed the autopsy on the /_ _\ deceased. Is that correct?" ( - - ) __\ _ /__ \ / \_/ \ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || / ___) _\__/_ | || (.~O=O / \ | || _\_-/ / / \ \ | || / \|/\ \_\ |/ | ||_/_|____|\__ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] ___________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ___ /_ _\ ( - - ) __\ _ /__ "Yes sir, that is correct." / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ / //\\ | JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || / ___) _\__/_ | || (.~O=O / \ | || _\_o/ / / \ \ | || / \|/\ \_\ |/ | ||_/_|____|\__ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} _________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ___ /_ _\ "I see. And the deceased was dead ( - - ) when you performed the autopsy?" __\ _ /__ \ / \_/ \ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || / ___) _\__/_ | || (.~O=O / \ | || _\_-/ / / \ \ | || / \|/\ \_\ |/ | ||_/_|____|\__ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ___________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ___ /_ _\ ( - - ) "Well... yes. Of course he was __\ _ /__ dead when I did the autopsy." / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ / //\\ | JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || / ___) _\__/_ | || (.~O=O / \ | || _\_o/ / / \ \ | || / \|/\ \_| /_/ | ||_/_|____|\__ |_____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) ############################################### ############################################### _________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ___ /_ _\ "I see. And how could you be sure ( - - ) the deceased was actually dead?" __\ _ /__ \ / \_/ \ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || (___ \ _\__/_ | || O=O~.) / \ | || \-_/_ / / \ \ | || / \|/ \ \_\ |/ | ||_/|____\_\__ (/_____| | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 _________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ___ /_ _\ "Well, for one thing, his ( - - ) brain was sitting in a __\ _ /__ jar on my desk." / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ / //\\ | JUDGE |\ ___ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || //\_\ _\__/_ | || (~O=O~) / \ | || \_o_/ / / \ \ | || / \|/ \ \_\ /_/ | ||_/_/___\_\__ (/____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll _________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I see. Are you saying then, ___ that you are CERTAIN that /_ _\ this man IS actually dead?" ( - - ) __\ _ /__ \ / \_/ \ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || / ___) _\__/_ | || (.~O=O / \ | || _\_-/ / / \ \ | || / \|/\ \_| /_/ | ||_/_|____|\__ |_____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) JROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJRO JROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJROJRO _________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ___ /_ _\ ( - - ) __\ _ /__ / \_/ \ __ __/___________\__ //\\ | JUDGE |\ ___ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || //\_\ _\__/_ | || (~O=O~) / \ | || \_-_/ / / \ \ | || / \|/ \ \_\ /_/ | ||_/_/___\_\__ (/____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) ORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJ ORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJORJ __________________________________________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .' . ' ___. "No... I guess it's possible that ' /_ _\ ' the son-of-a-bitch could still be ' ( O O ) . alive, and is practicing law __\ _ /__ somewhere." / \_/ \ / __ __/___________\__ / //\\ | JUDGE |\ ____ (//\\) | R.T. Baldy || / ___) _\__/_ | || (.~O=O / \ | || _\_o/ / / \ \ | || / \|/\ \_| /_/ | ||_/_|____|\__ |_____\) | | WITNESS |\ | _ _ | | | ||__| | |_____jro | | || | | | |________________|____________|/ |__|__| (__/ \__) theendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheend theendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheend Jonathon R. Oglesbee oglesbee@ mail.fullnet.net