This is a letter that Chris Phelps (cphelp1) found in his mailbox a while ago. You will notice that his username (cphelp1) can be spilt into "cp help 1".

From jluser1@gl.umbc.edu
Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 09:53:08 -0400 (EDT)
From: "J. Random Luser (ba undc)" <jluser1@gl.umbc.edu>
To: cphelp1@gl.umbc.edu
Subject: Help me please!

Dear cp help person,
I heard you can help me use that cp command my professor told me about. You see, she said that there were some files in her directory that I would need and ...

Hey! What's happening? What are YOU doing here? NO! Don't touch me. I'm asking an important question to the great god of the cp command. Leave me alone!!

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Please help me, mister cp help person, I'm under attack by the Micro sniuzdfb xbn vfretouigv fdbxngertouivnfd gv undfxrutebgv

PLEASE EXCUSE THIS SLIGHT DELAY. THE USER POSTING THIS MESSAGE WILL BE BACK SHORTLY.

I'm sorry that I bothered to type this message. UNIX is a stupid operating system anyway so why bother using it. I'm just going to ask the teacher if I can install NT on one of these boxes. Then I'll be reel K00l111

You should run NT too, it's a great OS. You're going to be assimilated sooner or later, so why not go with the flow?

Besides, once we get the Hand of Elvis from that do-gooder Disk Lord, sesbra1, you won't have any choice in the matter.

Format! Format! Format!