Quotes from The Wizardry Compiled and The Wizardry Cursed
by Rick Cook
You can always tell a really good idea by the enemies it makes.
Everything always takes twice as long and costs four time as much as you
planned. --programmer's axiom
It's never the technical stuff that gets you in trouble. It's the
personalities and the politics. --programmers' saying
Those who can't do, teach. --article of faith among students
And vice-versa. --programmer's addendum to students' article of faith
Living with a programmer is easy. Alll you need is the patience of a
saint. --programmers' wives' saying
Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who strive
to produce idiot-proof programs, and the Universe which strives to produce
bigger idiots. --software engineers' saying
So far the Universe is winning. --applications programmers' saying
The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a
soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with an
idea. --computer saying
You can't do just one thing. --Campbell's Law of everything
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. --Murphy's law #1024
and sometimes the real trick is telling the difference. --Murphy's law #1024a
Whenever you use a jump, be sure of your destination address.
Always secure your files. You never know who's lurking about.
Never argue with a red-haired witch. It wastes your breath and only
delays the inevitable. --the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt
If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning, nothing worse will
happen all day long. --California saying
To you or the toad. --Niven's restatement of California saying
--well, most of the time, anyway. . .
--programmer's caveat to Niven's restatement of California saying
You never find out the whole story until after you've signed the
contract. --programmer's saying
A jump gone awry is one of the hardest bus to locate. --programmers' saying
You can't unscramble an egg. --old saying
You can if you're powerful enough. --the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt
Magic is real--unless declared integer. --from the collected sayings of
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from
magic. --Clarke's law
Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from
technology. --Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's law
Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a rigged
demonstration. --programmer's restatement of Murphy's reformulation of Clarke
Putting twice as many programmers on a project that is late will make it
twice as late. --Brooks' law of programming projects
Never give a sucker an even break. --W. C. Fields
Especially not if he's a big, mean sucker. --the collected sayings of
Sleep? Isn't that a completely inadequate substitute for caffeine?
Good client relations are the key to a successful project.
At some point in the project you're going to have to break down and
finally define the problem. --programmer's saying
Customer support is an art, not a science.
So are most other forms of torture.
Programming is like pinball. The reward for doing it well is the
opportunity to do it again. --programmer's saying
Beware of open-ended contracts. They are hell to support.
The problem with a kludge is eventually you're going to have to go back
and do it right. --programmers' saying
Good help is so hard to find nowadays. --personnel manager's lament
" Getting there is half the fun." --Wrong-way Corrigan
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. --Old Arab proverb
So with friends like these, who needs enemies? --Old Jewish proverb
" Not only is the universe stranger than you imagine, it is stranger than you
can imagine." --J. B. S. Haldane
" And so are other universe." --Wiz Zumwalt
" Do not worry, love," she said softly," The spells are simple and foolproof
as we can make them. What was your phrase?--'Idiots-and-English majors'
" Maybe pigs will grow wings," Danny said, eyeing the rubble.
" Around this place you never know," Wiz said as he cast the first stone.
" It's the details," Jerry said to no one in particular. " It's always the
details that get you into trouble."
" You have forgotten me already. I am disappointed Sparrow." -Lisella
" Ah, not exactly." I never forget someone who's tried to kill me. The elf
looked amused at his discomfort. --Wiz Zumwalt
" And by the Law of Similarity, like things affect each other." --Wiz Zumwalt
" Feeping creaturism," Jerry said.
" What kind of creature?" Moira asked.
" A feeping one," Danny explained. " 'That's one that has one too
feeping many . . "
" What it means is that I've added features just to add features," Wiz
interrupted. " It's a spoonerism on creeping featurism."