Q: What is the Information Superhighway?

A: It's just like the internet, except:

• it's a lot more expensive.
• you can't post and there's no killfile.
• there's no alt.sex.* or alt.drugs
• rec.humor.funny has a laugh track.
• there's a commercial break every 10 minutes.
• everything is formatted to 40 columns for TV's.
• the free software costs you $2.00/megabyte to ftp, more for long distance.

It's just like cable TV, except:

• it's a lot more expensive.
• the picture isn't as good.
• there's 500 channels of Pay-per-View and home-shopping.
• you can watch any episode of Gilligan's Island or any Al Gore speech for only $2.00.
• no public access channels.
• there's a commercial break every 10 minutes.

It's just like renting videos, except:

• it's a lot more expensive.
• there's only 1/100th as many to choose from.
• no porno.
• there's no pause, fast-forward, or rewind, and it costs you another $3.95 if you want to watch twice.
• there's a commercial break every 10 minutes.

It's just like the telephone, except:

• it's a lot more expensive.
• there's no one to talk to.
• there's a commercial break every 10 minutes.
• every number is a toll call.