Violence - Are you Safe?  Really?

Violence.   No-one is immune;  and  sadly,  all  too  often it's normal people;
like you and me (but not that  guy  over  there)  who  are  afflicted  with  a
hidden  violent  streak.   Could  it  be you?  Our simple test below, compiled
by  our  staff  Psychiatrist,  Dr  Brian Analpeeper,  should help reveal any 
hidden truths about your nasty streak,  in  time  for  you  to  get  the shock 
treatment you so desperately need...

1.      Whilst shopping at a supermarket,  you notice 3 old ladies in the
        queue in front of you; all of whom will take at least  10 minutes
        just to realise they're at the cash register.  You would:

        a.  Ask if they minded awfully if you skipped thru.  (You Greaser!)
        b.  Join another queue  (Wiss!)
        c.  Sneak past them to the front of the queue.  (You wimp!)
        d.  Smack them over the back of the head with a jumbo size pack of
                frozen tractor parts and shove their bodies into the bulk
                meat freezer.  (ALL RIGHT!)

2       You are driving home, and you pull up at an intersection.  In front
        of you there is a driver who is obviously confused by the combination
        of HILL START + HANDBRAKE OFF + LOOK BOTH WAYS + MAKE SURE THE 
        INDICATOR IS ON PROPERLY  (Isn't it disgusting the people that have
        licenses these days, I mean really, they may as well say that if
        you've got a car you can drive it)  After 10 minutes of waiting you:

        a.  Sit quietly and hope they make their mind up soon (Tsk tsk)
        b.  Back up and go a different way  (I don't believe it)
        c.  Toot your horn and look around as if it was someone else (You
                really are a purile little pus-ball aren't you?)
        d.  Shunt their car into the path of the next truck that trundles
                through the intersection.  (SOLID!)

3       You're out on your morning walk when the neighbours dog runs up and
        starts doing rude things to your leg to your neighbourhoods great
        amusement.  You would:

        a.  Disentangle yourself and smile sheepishly  (Wuss!)
        b.  Run away and move house as soon as possible.
	c.  Take the dog back to it's owners and ask them to control it
        d.  Wait till really late at night, throw it a steak and, while it's
                eating, club it to death with a brick, then hang it by a
                noose from the nearest telephone pole as a warning to all
                the other dogs thereabouts.  (Boy, You really need help!)

4       Your boss rolls up and tells you that you'll have to work late as
        he has scored a dinner on a client and the work has to be done.
        He also asks you to clean up the toilets on the way out as he had
        a particularly bad case of the runs this morning.  You would:
        
        a.  Say "Of course" and do it.
        b.  Agree and secretly start looking for another job.  (Piker)
        c.  Apologise and tell your boss that you have a very defensive 
                 spouse who would cause all sorts of trouble
        d.  Say yes, but wait for him in the carpark of the Restaraunt
                with your chainsaw, Lucy, to give him/her some rapid weight
                loss treatment.  (You've got a chainsaw named Lucy?)

5       You are a non-smoker in a lift with a smoker.  The smoker asks if
        you mind them smoking.  You do, so you:

        a.  Say "No, no; don't mind me"  
        b.  Get out at the next floor
        c.  Say "Not if you mind me farting >chuckle<"  (Dweeb!)
        d.  Say "No, not if you don't mind arriving at the next floor in
                several seperate  peices,  stuffed  into the ashtray and
                emergency  phone  cupboard",  whilst sharpening your axe
                which you just  happen  to  be carrying around with you,
                on  your  way  to  resign  in real style with real heads
                rolling  because  you're sick of writing tedious repeats
		of psychoanalytic self-tests for two-bit....

We apologise that we will only be able to bring you part of this
test this time, the rest will be printed as soon as Dr Analpeeper
gets out of his straitjacket