THE RELIGIONS

TAOISM: Shit happens.
BUDDHISM: This shit happened before.
HINDUISM: It is only an illusion of shit happening.
ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
JEHOVA'S WITNESSES: Knock, knock: 'Shit happens.'
ATHEISM: There is no such thing as shit.
AGNOSTICISM: Maybe shit happens, and maybe it doesn't.
PROTESTANTISM: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, I deserve it.
JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to me?
TELEVANGELISM: Send money or shit will happen to you.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES: If God is real, there is no shit. If shit is real,
there is no God.