Computing

Computers are a major part of my life and these pages are about me. So it makes sense to have a computing bit (pun intended ;). Although at the time of writing this I am not sure what to put in. Does it matter ?

My Computers

My first computer was an Oric-1. I couldn't get it to load any games so I learnt how to program in BASIC on it. My next computer was a Commodore 64 with a disk and tape drive on which I could load games so my programming declined seriously.

Next I moved onto an Amiga 500, which had some really nice games on, plus some most excellent demos. It made me wish I could program, but kept me sufficiently distracted (as well as real-time interactions, NMI's etc) to not make a decent attempt at starting.

I now own an Amiga 1200 with 6MB of RAM, an 80MB hard-drive, a Squirrel SCSI interface, an Iomega Zip drive and a MicroVitec Monitor. It has recently fallen into neglect but I feel a renaissance coming on. That is if i don't spend too much time on other peoples computers, the internet or trying to get my linux box going.

OPC: Other People's Computers

Hey, whaddya think I'm some kinda geek or something? Spending all my time in front of my computer? No way, I get out into this big ole world of ours and . . use other peoples computers!

My first taste of other peoples computers started at school were we had BBC micros (have you ever fought at a door to get a machine with a Colour Monitor?) and then Macintoshes. Apart from these I often use other peoples PC's and have dabbled with Suns, VAXen and Linux boxes over the internet. My latest achievement was setting up and programming a Cisco 512CS Access Server

Games

I used to love playing games but now they don't seem to have the same attraction (am I an old fogey?). Now I occasionally play Sokoban and have a round of my all time favourite game Bubble Bobble.

Programming Poem

I have been learnig PASCAL and C at university. If you have ever done any programming you may empathise with the following:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This textfile was leeched from LSD's Grapevine Magazine Issue #16
-------------------------------------------------------------------
C O D I N G

by Kei

Another program
that I have no time to work on
More code to compile
which will take a while
More errors to de-bug
while bastards look smug
More bits to fit
in this pile of shit
More routines to include
in this code that's crude
No Graphics of yet
and music I must get
It wasn't fun
and god knows if it will run!

end.

Jobs

Phrase To Watch For In Advertisements

Phrase - Real Meaning
You will be joining a Department - Maintenance.

You will work on a range of systems - Maintenance.

An exciting range of work - More Maintenance.

You will be dealing with users - Even more maintenance.

This is a highly visiible role - You will get the blame.

You will have at least 2 years experience - O.K. 18 months.

There is a prospect of gaining experience - Oh no, there isn't.

You will need to be self-motivating - Invisible manager.

New opportunity following re-organisation - Trouble.

High calibre candidate required - Big Trouble.

Represents a tremendous
challenge to the right candidate - Very big trouble.

Dynamic business environment - Everything done on the hoof.

Oldham is a town of friendliness and character
bordered on one side by Manchester and on the other
by the unspoilt beauty of the Pennines - No-one wants to live here.

These were all excerpts from advertisements in the computer press.

Millenium Bugging You?

The Year Two Thousand

is an anagram for:

A Year To Shutdown