Before you read this message you *must* first read this:
V-CHIP CONTENT WARNING: THIS POST IS RATED: R, V, NPC, RI, S, I13. [For processing by the required-by-1998 V-chips, those reading this post from an archive must set their V-chip to "42-0666." I will not be held responsible for posts incorrectly filtered-out by a V-chip that has been by-passed, hot-chipped, or incorrectly programmed.]
***WARNING!***It has become necessary to warn potential readers of my messages before they proceed further. This warning may not fully protect me against criminal or civil proceedings, but it may be treated as a positive attempt to obey the various and increasing numbers of laws.
* Under the ***U.S.A. TELECOM ACT OF 1996***, minor CHILDREN (under the age of 18) may not read or handle this message under any circumstances. If you are under 18, delete this message NOW. Also, if you are developmentally disabled, irony-impaired, emotionally traumatized, schizophrenic, affected by Humor Deprivation Syndrom (HDS), or under the care of a doctor, then the U.S.A. TELECOM ACT OF 1996 may apply to you as well, even if you are 18. If you fall into one of these categories and are not considered competent to judge for yourself what you are reading, DELETE this message NOW.
* Under the UTAH PROTECTION OF CHILDREN ACT OF 1996, those under the age of 21 may not read this post. All residents of Utah must install the M-Chip.
* Under the PROTECTION OF DEUTSCHLAND laws, residents of Germany may not read this post.
* Under the MERCIFUL SHIELD OF ALLAH (Praise be to Him!) holy interpretations of the Koran of the following countries (but not limited to this list) you may not read this post if you are a FEMALE OF ANY AGE: Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Egypt, Jordan, Sudan, Libya, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Algeria, Lebanon, Morocco, Tunisia, Yemen, Oman, Syria, Bahrain, and the Palestinian Authority. Non-female persons may also be barred from reading this post, depending on the settings of your I-Chip.
* Under the proposed CHINESE INTERNET laws, covering The People's Republic of China, Formosa, Hong Kong, Macao, Malaysia, and parts of several surrrounding territories, the rules are so nebulous and unspecified that I cannot say whether you are allowed to read this. Thus, you must SUBMIT any post you wish to read to your local authorities for further filtering.
* Under laws enforced by the SINGAPORE BROADCASTING AUTHORITY you must first register your intent to read this message or you risk "undermining public morals or religious harmony." If you neglect to register you risk punishment that may consist of anything the SBA desires as the law isn't precise on that point.
* Finally, if you are barrred from contact with the Internet, or protected by court order from being disturbed by thoughts which may disturb you, or covered by protective orders, it is up to you to adjust the settings of your V-Chip to ensure that my post does not reach you.
Now the message:
How ya doing?
This was forwarded to me by Austin Gregg, who got it from Robert Brew, who got it from Ralph Saunders. All three are currently under surveillance by a Special Task Force of the FBI working closely with Senators Exon and Helms. If you wish to comment on this post, do *not* send me e-mail. Instead, call me from a pay telephone across town from where you live or work. Do *not* spend more than thirty seconds on the line. However, do be polite and say Hello to the agents listening in.
Thomas R. Fasulo, Editor
I HATE COMPUTERS Newsletter