``If it compiles, it works.''
``If it compiles, it's correct.''
``If it runs, it doesn't have any bugs.''
``If it doesn't have any immediately obvious bugs, it's perfect.''
``If a bug doesn't show, it doesn't exist.''
``If it seems to work, it works.''
``Doing something right is easy. Avoiding errors only takes a bit of concentration.''
``The shorter the source code, the faster the program.''
``It's obvious how to optimize a program.''
``Prorammers don't make mistakes.''
``Run-time errors don't occur.''
``Users don't make mistakes.''
``I don't make mistakes.''
``Errors of any kind are rare.''
``Error handling can be done in version 2.''
``It's OK to crash on bad input.''
``It's OK to give incorrect output on bad input.''
``Portability isn't useful.''
``All the world's a VAX. Or, these days, an MS-DOS box''
``The length of the feature list is important.''
``Speed is good, features are better.''
``Slowness can be fixed in hardware.''
``The bigger a program is, the better it is.''
``Random changes to a program fix bugs.''
``Testing takes only a short while.''
``Finding bugs is easy. Fixing bugs is trivial.''
``Bug-fixes don't need to be tested.''
``Trivial changes of any kind don't need to be tested.''
``The first approach, idea, or version is always the best.''
``A 1% crash rate is actually pretty darn good.''
``Code is self-evident. Comments aren't needed.''
``Comments are meant for people other than the original author of the code.''
``Undocumented features are fun and useful.''
``It can always be fixed in the next version.''
``Surprised users are happy users.''
``Demonstrating for clients is the best debugging method.''