Subject: Word Perfect Actual dialog of a former Word perfect Customer Support employee: S = Support C = Customer S "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" C "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." S "What sort of trouble?" C "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.", S "Went away?" C "They disappeared." S "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" C "Nothing." S "Nothing?" C "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." S "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" C "How do I tell?" S "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?" C "What's a sea-prompt?" S "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" C "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." S "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" C "What's a monitor?" S "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" C "I don't know." S "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" C ......"Yes, I think so." S "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." C ......"Yes, it is." S "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" C "No." S "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." C ......"Okay, here it is." S "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." C "I can't reach." S "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" C "No." S "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" C "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." S "Dark?" C "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." S "Well, turn on the office light then." C "I can't." S "No? Why not?" C "Because there's a power outage." S "A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" C "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." S "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." C "Really? Is it that bad?" S "Yes, I'm afraid it is." C "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" S "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."