One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he meets a demon. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?" Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!" Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink." Demon:" Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more." Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!" Demon: "You a smoker?" Guy: "You better believe it." Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!" Guy: "Golly" Demon: "I bet you like to gamble." Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it." Guy: "Wow." Demon: "You like to do drugs?" Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..." Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!" Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!" Demon: "You gay?" Guy: "Uh, no." Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."