I have collected some past humorous postings from many sources on the net, put them in some sort of order and I am reposting them here.

Apologies to the original posters and authors, but in many cases such details got edited out in the interest of conserving space.

Apologies if you've seen them before!
-- Peter Piacenza (on rec.humor newsgroup)

Subject: Computer Messages

  1. Error 13: Illegal brain function. Process terminated.
  2. REALITY.DAT not found. Atempting to restore Universe......
    ..... REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable to recover Universe
    Press Esc key to reboot Universe, or any other key to continue...
  3. REALITY.SYS corrupted- reboot Universe (Y/N)?
  4. USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue.
  5. Volume in Drive C: TOO_LOUD!
  6. Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode.
  7. BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding!
  8. Virus detected! P)our chicken soup on motherboard?
  9. .signature not found! reformat hard drive? [Yn]
  10. Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?
  11. Spellchecker not found. Press -- to continue ...
  12. A)bort, R)etry or S)elf-destruct?
  13. A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium?
  14. A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.
  15. A)bort, R)etry, P)ee in drive door
  16. Backup not found: A)bort, R)etry, M)assive heart failure?
  17. Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner.
  18. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
  19. DYNAMIC LINKING ERROR: Your mistake is now everywhere.
  20. Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS
  21. SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory.
  22. APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.
  23. ZAP! Process discontinued. Enter any 12-digit prime number to resume.
Attributed to:

	 Peter Piacenza 
	 Internet:  Tel. 27-471-3022384
	 Internet:  (preferred).