I like Acronyms, they are open to so many interpretations:
collector: Neil Franklin, last modification: 2010.03.30


--- the all-important one

ACRONYM		A Contrived Reduction of Nomenclature, Yielding Mnemomics
		A Contrived Regime Of Nomenclature, Yielding Mnemonics
		Alphabetic Colloqation Reducing Or Numbing Your Memory

--- technologies

ADSL		Also Das Sollte Laufen
		(german for: Now This Should Work)
ATHLON		Attempt To Heat Large Office Now
BGA		Bullshit Gone Awry
		Brummschaedel Generierende Architectur
		(german for: Headache Generating Architecture)
BZIP		Briefmarkenduenn Zusammengepresstes InformationsPaket
		(Gernam for: Stamp-thin Pressed-together InformationPackage)
CAD/CAM		Computer Am Dienstag, Chaos Am Mittwoch
                (german for: Computer On Tuesday, Chaos On Wednesday)
CD		Cup Drawer
		Coaster Dispenser
CD-ROM		Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
CISC		C Is So Cruel
		CPU In Sandmill Corner
		Can I Send Cash
		Can I Smell Complexity
COMPUTER	Capable Of Making Perfectly Uncomplicated Tasks Extremely
		 	Rigorous
CVS 		Compiliert Vielleicht Spaeter
		(german for: Compiles Perhaps Later)
DBus		Desktop Bloat Und So
		(german for: Desktop Bloat And So)
DDS		Daemlicher Daten Schredder
		(german for: Dim Data Shredder)
ETHERNET 	Engel Transportieren Himmlische Einschreiben durch
			Rostige Netze aus Eisen und Teflonband
		(german for: Angels Transport Heavenly Scipts through
			Rusty Nets of Iron and Teflon-tape)
GNOME		Gui No One Might Enjoy
GSM		God Send Mobiles
IRC		Illegal Routing Constructed
ISDN		Interesting Standards Doing Nothing
		It Still Does Nothing
		I Still Don't Need
		It's Such Dumb Nonsense
		I Smell Dollars Now
		Is So Doll Nich
		(german for: Is So Great Not)
		Ist Sowas Denn Noetig
		(german for: Is Such-thing Then Neccessary)
		Ich Sehe Deine Nummer
                (german for: I See Your Number)
		Ich Schnall Des Nedd
		(german for: I Understand This Not)
LAN		Local Area Notwork
		Lost Area (of) Network
MIME		Massive Increase in Megabytes Exchanged
NTSC		Never The Same Color
		Never Twice Same Color
PAL		Perfect At Last
		Pale And Lurid
PC		Problem Creator
		Piece of Crap
PCMCIA		People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
		Personal Computer Manufacturers Cannot Invent Acronyms
PDA		People Don't Accept
PHP		People Hate Perl
		[also short for Ppphhhhhhppppppp!!!!!!]
PING		Pretty Intelligent Nonsense Generator
PS/2		Piece of Shit, Too
RISC		Reduced Into Silly Code
		Retarded Instruction Set Computer
SCSI		System Can't See It
SECAM		Something Essentially Contrary to the American Method
		System Even Crappier then the American Method
SMD		Schwer Montierbare Dinger
		(german for: Difficult to Mount Things)
SMT		Schwer Montierbare Technologie/Teile
		(german for: Difficult to Mount Technology/Parts)
SNMP		Security Not My Problem
SQL		Super Quatsch Loesung
		(german for: Super Nonsense Solution)
		[also known as Squeal (not an acronym, but still funny)]
TCP/IP		Totally Cool Party / In Progress
UMTS		Unvermutete Mehreinnahme zur Tilgung von Staatschulden
		(german for: Unexpected Addition-income for Erasing State-debt)
VB		Voll Bloed
		(german for: Fully Stupid)
WAP		Wait And Pay
WEBCAM		Waste Endless Bandwidth Chatting And Masturbating
WWW		World Wide Wait

-- OSes, programs, languages

BASIC		Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
DOS		Defunct Operating System
		Drown Or Swallow
EMACS		Eight Megabytes And Continously Swapping
		Eventually Malloc()s All Core Storage
		EMACS Makes A Computer Slow
		EMACS Makes Any Computer Slow
		Esc Meta Alt Ctrl Shift
		Euphoric Man And Computer Symbiosis
IMAP		Immer Machen Alle Pause
                (german for: Allways Making Everyone (a) Break)
IIS		Internet Infection System
		It Isn't Secure
MACINTOSH	Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs
MSDOS		Macht Schwermuetig Durch Optimierte Schickane
                (german for: Makes Melancholic By Optimised Chicanery)
		Meinem System Droht Overkill Status
		(german for: My System is Treatend with Overkill Status)
NT		Not There
		Nice Try
		Nice Toy
		Not Today
		No Technology
		Neolithic Technology
		Neanderthal Technology
		No Thanks
		Never Touch
		Never Twice
		Never Trust
		Not Trustworthy
		Needs Testing
		Nefarious Thing
		Nuke This
		eNTe
                (german for: duck, understood as in "lame duck")
OS/2		Obsolete Soon, Too
		Operating System / Half
PASCAL		Pedantry And Strictness Created A Language
vi		VoId (or vOiD)
		eVIl (or EviL)
		VIrtue (or viRTUE)
VISTA		Virus Inside, Switch To Apple
WINDOWS		Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
		Wireless Intelligent Neohuman Designed for Observation and
			Worldwide Sabotage
YAST		Yet Another Stupid Tool

--- file formats

.DOC		Dump Of Core

--- Projects

DEBIAN		Duenkelhafte, Elitaere Benutzer; Ideologisch AstreiN
		(german for: Vane, Elitist Users; Ideologically Squeaky-clean)

--- firms

APPLE		Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
DEC		Do Expect Cuts
IBM		It's Been Malfunctioning
                Intercourse|Incest Beats Masturbation
		Incest Breeds Morons
		I Blame Microsoft
		I('ll) Buy Macintosh
		I Beg Mercy
		I Believe in Marketing
		Inferior But Marketable
		International Bloated Machines 
		International Big Mother
		Internals By Mediocrity
		Intensely Boring Machines
		It Broke Me
		Incredible Bunch of Morons
		Infernal Bloody Machine
		I'm Being Moved
		I've Been Mislead|Molested|Mugged
		Idiosyncratic Binary Monsters
		Idiotic Blue Monsters
		In Bleakest Mordor
		Insidious Black Magic
		Itty Bitty Micros
		Infinite Bullshit Merchants
		Immer Bis Mitternacht
		(german for: Always Till Midnight)
		Immer Besser Manuell
		(german for: Always Better Manually)
		Ich Bin Mist
		(german for: I Am Crap)
		Ich Bin Muede
		(german for: I Am Tired)
		Ich Bim Muell
		(german for: I Am Garbage)
		Ich Bezahle Mehr
		(german for: I Pay More)
		Immens Beknackte Maschinen
		(german for: Immensly Braindead Machines)
LOTUS		Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
MICROSOFT	Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software	Only Fools
			Teenagers
		Mancher In China Raucht Orientalischen Stoff Ohne Festen Tabak
		(german for: Some In China Smoke Oriental Stuff Without Solid
			Tabacco)
NETSCAPE	Navigate Easily To Sites, Crash After Perl Error
ORACLE		One Rich Asshole Called Larry Ellison
RED HAT		Rudimentaer Erprobte Durchschnittsware
                	- Holprige Amerikanische Technologie
		(german for: Rudimentarily Tested Average-stuff
			- Bumpy-Ride American Technology)
SAP		Shit And Piss
		Schweiss, Angst, Panik
                (german for: Sweat, Fear, Panic)
		Schrecken, Angst, Panik
                (german for: Scare, Fear, Panic)
		Selber Alles Programmieren
		(german for: Self Everything Program)
		Sanduhr Anzeige Programm
		(german for: Sandclock Display Program)
		Software Aus Pakistan
		(german for: Software From Pakistan)
		Sammelstelle Arbeitsloser Physiker
		(german for: Collecting-space (for) Unemployed Physicists)
SCO		Spurious Crime Organization
SIEMENS		Sehr Intelligent Erscheinende Menschen Entwickeln Nur Schrott
		(german for: Very Intelligent Appearing Humans Develop Only
			Crap)
		Sicher Ist Eines: Man Erhaelt Nur Scheisse
                (german for: Sure Is only One thing: You Get Only Shit)
		[this is a large german electronics and machine manufacturer]
SONY		SO N(ie) (german for: SO N(ever))
SUN		Seen United Network
		Suck Upon Nt
		Spoof Unknown Neighbour
SuSE		Such unusable System Environment
		Sehen und Sich Erschiessen
		(german for: See-it and Self Shoot)
		Sehr Umfangreich, Sehr Eigenartig
		(German for: Very Voluminous, Very Strange)
VOBIS		Verkauf Ohne Beratung Ist Standard
		(german for: Sale without Advice is standard)
		[this was a once large german computer sales chain]

--- organisations

ANSI		Another Non-Standard Implementation
MIT		Made In Taiwan
RIAA		Redundant Idiots Against Artists

--- People

BILL GATES 	Brilliant Innovator, Lives Like God, Aspires To Enslave
			Software
	 	Bogus Innovator, Lives Like God, Aspires To Enslave
			Software

--- titles

MCSE		Minesweeper Consultant & Solitaire Expert
		Must Consult Someone Experienced
		Makes Cretins Self-Employed
		Moron Confused (by) Sun Equipment
		My Cranium Seems Empty
		Morons Crudely Simulating Expertise
		Making Computers Slow Everyday
		May Certified Stupidity Excel
		Meine Computerkenntisse Sind Erbaermlich
		(german for: My Computer knowledge Is Pitifull)

--- Laws

CBDTPA		Consume But Don't Try Programming Anything
DMCA		Don't Make Content Accessible
DRM		Digital Restrictions Managment
		Digital Restriction Mechanisms
		Digital Rights Manglement

--- other

EDV		Ende Der Vernunft
		(german for: End Of Rationality)
		[this is officially Elektronische Daten Verarbeitung
                	(german for: Electronic Data Processing)]
MIPS		Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed
MLOC		Meaningless Level of Operational Complexity
		Mandatory Layers Of Cruft


Collected by neil@franklin.ch, http://neil.franklin.ch/
Have you got any more witty acronym interpretations? Send me them!