The following appeared once in the magazine of DECUS (DEC User Group) Politically Correct Virus Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism". Right To Life Virus Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counsellor about possible alternatives. Ross Perot Virus Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits. AT&T Virus Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. Dan Quayle Virus Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just can't figyour out watt. Government Economist Virus Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. Federal Bureaucrat Virus Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. Gallup Virus Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus 3.5 percent margin of error). Texas Virus Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. Michael Jackson Virus Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearence. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car. Freudian Virus Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America. Ollie North Virus Turns your printer into a document shredder. Star Trek Virus Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before. Health Care Virus Test your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500. Airline Virus You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.